A few things…

Song and lyrics belong to its writers and/or artists.

I don't own anything Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.

This is my first real story. I'm expanding on a one shot that I wrote a little while back called Midnight Blues for a contest that never happened. You should read that first.

I do not have a beta, so my apologies in advance.

Hate it or love it…let me know.

Love is the ultimate paradox: it is death and decay; it is pain and suffering; is tears and heartaches - but in the end, it is eternal youth, energy, happiness, and joy. - Unknown

BPOV- In the Beginning (Cupid's Got a Gun)

'You watched me fall, stood over me as I hit the ground.

Then he whispered his name in my ear, such a dark familiar sound...'

Cupid's got a Gun is one of my favorite songs right now.

I step out of the shower and wipe my hand across the mirror, clearing it of the fog that had settled over the last half hour. A long, hot shower is exactly what I needed, so I took one. I smile at my reflection and grab a fresh towel while I hum along to the music. The heavy bass and lyrics from the song currently blaring through my Ihome are soothing to the myriad of thoughts running through my brain.

'I should have known by the way he took my breath away.

And the way he held me often hurt me, he told me love was pain…'

I can't help but laugh because I am in a much better place than I would be had this been, say, a year and a half ago. I would have been as good as mush, crying and trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I would be somewhere curled up in a ball trying to make sense of all of my faults and everything that I could have done wrong while wasting my day away watching daytime television and eating cereal that would rot my teeth.

'Man, I should've known he would do me dirt,

So miserable, I'm'll stomp through a puddle.

Cupid's got a weapon, gotta part with the devil.

Tell him that I'm done.

Tell him that I'm not here.

Hit him with the lamp. I'm'll hit him with a chair…'

I can't help my laugh because I'm not that girl and I haven't been for a while now.

I'm sure some would consider me to be an emo bitch for listening to music like this first thing in the morning, but after the shit Emery pulled on me, it just can't be helped. I'm not emo – far from it actually – and that alone will strike people as odd.

I laugh again and continue the task of drying myself off.

"Bella, will you turn that shit down? You've been playing that same song non-stop all morning!" Rosalie yelled from her room down the hall.

I just chuckle and go back to towel drying my hair.

I have to leave for class in a few minutes and then I have to come back, change and hall ass downtown to a job interview that Alice and Rose are both making me go on. I had never seen myself working in a bar, but I need a job if these bills are going to stay paid.

I click the off button on my Ihome and stuff my Ipod and headphones into my purse. I'd be lost if I ever left the house without my music. A world without tunes just isn't worth living in. Period.

I double back and grab my journal on the remote chance that I'll have some down time in between classes.

I make my way down the hall to the kitchen where I find Rosalie sitting at the breakfast bar, reading the paper and eating a bagel. I reach in the fridge to find the orange juice, trying my best to avoid her glare that I'm sure to capture once she realizes that I'm making my way out to campus for the day.

The fact that we hadn't had our usual heart to heart about my break up with Embry hasn't escaped me, but it isn't something that I want to make a big deal over. She's been chomping at the bit ever since I came home Saturday night and I've made it the rest of the weekend without going into detail with her or anyone else about it. Even Alice and her all knowing texts haven't broken me down. There is no need to linger there now; I just hope Rose feels the same way.

She hasn't looked up from the Style section yet, so I may just be home free.

"So, I see you're still pissed at Embry." It was more of a statement than a question.

Dammit.

I take a deep breath before I speak, but then decide to just go with my gut. Fuck it.

"No, Rose, I'm not still pissed at Embry. He's an asshole, so I can't really be mad at him for doing what an asshole is supposed to do, now can I?" I lean against the counter with a huff. If she's going to start the morning out in bitch mode, then I am going to meet her there step for fucking step.

No, she hasn't said too much in the form of words, but I know her and her mannerisms well enough to know exactly where she's headed.

She takes a moment to observe my defensive stance and you could see her decision to back off flash quickly behind her eyes. I met her stare for another moment or two before I would allow myself to believe she was actually going to drop this subject. I return the bottle of orange juice to its rightful place in the refrigerator. There was no need for us to fight, especially not over this.

"I'm not trying to give you a hard time, Bells, I hope you know that. I just don't want you wasting time on a slime ball like him. Think about it. He did you a favor," she said as she finished her bagel and came to lean next to me against the counter. "Trust me."

I know Rosalie is just looking out for my best interests, she'd said as much the minute I'd introduced her to Embry Call. I liked him well enough, sure, but it wasn't like we were engaged or anything. I wasn't invested enough to be truly hurt by his actions and that was by design. I made it that way. I had sworn off of attaching myself to guys romantically ever since the Riley debacle, so I had no doubt that I would survive this. This is actually nothing.

My friends had dubbed that period during our freshman year as "Rileygate" and I still cringe each and every time I have to hear about it. That seems to be just about every time I show the slightest interest in a man. I suppose I should be grateful; I should be happy that I have people in my life that care and look out for me.

I love my friends, but I am a big girl with big girl panties on and I don't have a heart of glass. At least not anymore I don't. The last thing that they will ever have to lose sleep over is Bella Swan falling in love. It won't happen. Embry was simply a handsome distraction. Hell, my pride is probably more damaged than anything else and the fact that I was the one to end it satisfies my practical need for revenge. I will bounce back from the few short months that I spent with him.

Ever since I fell into that age old trap with Riley, I rarely have to worry about jerks playing Russian roulette with my heart. I took a chance on Embry, I am woman enough to admit that, and I got burned. Shit happens. Nowadays, I try to look at relationships as learning experiences and nothing more. You win some, you lose some. Whatever.

"I'm good, Rose, trust me. I just get inspiration from my choices in music."

My attempt at lightening the mood bombed. She really and truly looked concerned for me and there was just no need for it. Rose needed to know that I wasn't upset, but nobody said I couldn't be a bitter bitch.

"Besides, it's not like I'm going to start stalking the poor bastard. I can't say that I wouldn't like to give him a hard knee to the junk, but I'm not stressing. I didn't like him enough for all of that." I give Rose a cheeky grin, knowing how much she would love my next point.

"He just may have to see me out and about this weekend, looking fantastic I might add, to know exactly what he's missing out on. No harm no foul." I shrug my shoulders to emphasize just how much I don't care.

"There's my girl!" Rose glances at the clock as she gives me a quick hug. "Shit, look at the time. I've got to run, but we'll talk later."

She shoots me a wink and heads out the door.

I shake my head, laughing at the protective mama bear that is my best friend.

I am not far behind her, grabbing my laptop bag and slinging it over my shoulder as I lock the door. I put my ear buds in as I take the stairs down to the lobby of our building and hit play on my IPod. I wave at the doorman and begin my walk towards the train station.

'Cupid's got a gun and he shot me with it. Cupid's got a gu – un. But who said he's a lover? Really he's murderer…'

I smile to myself. Let's get the day started.

xxMBxx

Campus is its usual flurry of activity and excitement on the first day of fall quarter.

Students are crossing the quad trying to get to class on time while professors and various members of the faculty are rubbing elbows amidst the hallowed halls of education. I think it's safe to say that I have found my place here at Northwestern. I have enjoyed my time here so far, but I look forward to the day that I am considered a part of its alumni.

My first class of the day starts soon and I'm cutting it a little close in regards to time, but that's alright. Very few things could change my mood or disrupt my stride right now. I'd already been by the book store to get my textbooks and I picked up the booklet that the professor recommended we purchase to accompany the regular seminar in my first course. I am off to an excellent start!

Being in my junior year puts me in a strange position, but I really don't have anybody to blame for that but myself. Sort of like my need to work in a bar to make ends meet, I find myself balancing the classes that I need to complete my major with the classes that are of genuine interest to me.

I've worked closely with my counselor in the College of Business and I believe we've struck a good balance. My decision to major in Business and Public Relations was a sound one; it is a field in which I can excel and make a comfortable living. That idea is a foreign one to me having grown up in the tiny town of Forks and having a small town police chief for a father. Majoring in business means that I can get an internship before I finish school and get a job at a reputable firm. I may even be able to move quickly up the corporate ladder.

But, if I were being completely true to my hearts' desire, speaking candidly during a moment of sheer weakness, literature would have been my one and only choice. Perhaps, during another lifetime where the amount of money I make isn't important, I could explore a dream like that.

"Bella!" I hear someone yell from across the quad.

I turn around and see Alice waving at me like a perky little maniac.

I slow my steps as she leans into a shiny, black Mustang convertible with the top down being driven by...a male model? The weather isn't that bad yet, so I guess it's not too strange of a sight.

I'm not sure who she's talking to, but whoever it is, he is a mighty fine specimen. He's wearing a dark pair of sunglasses and has a crazy head of auburn hair that has definitely seen its fair share of wind this morning. It looks just like I would imagine it would have had I run my hands through it from root to tip. I grab a hold of the strap of my laptop bag to keep myself from running over and embarrassing myself. I wait for her to finish instead.

After a few seconds of running the tip of my shoe through a patch of dandelions, she's rushing towards me. Alice moves just as quickly in stilettos as Rose does. The convertible passes me as she approaches.

If a blur can be attractive, that was a damn good example of one.

"Hey Ali, are you ready to start this madness all over again?" I ask as she catches up to me. We start making our way toward the student center together.

"Please. You know I'm always ready, how about you? "

"I'm good. I'll be even better once I get some coffee into me. Who was that in the hot car?"

"Oh, that was just my brother. He dropped me off since I left my car at Angela's after the party on Saturday night."

Oh yeah…that party. I should have known that Alice was too messed up to drive home, but I hauled ass off campus as soon as I had my altercation with Embry. I feel horrible for that.

"Are you serious? Alice, I am so sorry. You should've just come home with Rose and crashed with us." I pulled her into my side and hugged her, hoping she would accept my apology for sucking so badly at being her friend.

"Don't even worry about it. Edward was good to come and get me. He was at a friend's house not too far away. Besides, I could've just crashed at Angela's if I was that desperate."

"Still," I said, not wanting her to let me off the hook so easily.

"Whatever, you had your hands full," she said as she waved me off.

We walked in an awkward silence, her waiting for me to elaborate on what had me occupied on Saturday and I was waiting on her to change the subject. She knows all about Saturday already from Rose and I'm not talking about that today.

"So, how is your course load this quarter?" I decided to take the initiative.

"I've actually got 17 credit hours. It's going to be brutal."

Damn, I hadn't taken that many hours in one quarter since freshman year. That was Alice though. She never did anything half assed.

"Really? How are you going to swing that?" I asked, concerned that she was taking on too much.

"It really won't be that bad if you think about it. Instead of taking on a minor, I'm starting on my Business Enterprises certificate. That will make my time in New York even more worthwhile after we graduate."

Alice had her eyes set on attending the Masen Design School in New York right out of undergrad. Interior design and anything related to fashion was where Alice wanted to be, but Northwestern is one of the best names you can have on your resume when it comes to business. Getting that certificate would put her near the top of her incoming class when it came to snagging the better and more prestigious internships. I'm not sure why this surprises me, though. She is always a step ahead of everybody else. That freaky brain of hers could come in handy sometimes.

"So, are you still feeling ok about your interview?" she asked.

"Yes, I'm good to go. Even if they don't hire me, it'll be good practice."

Like most people, I tend to get stage fright when it comes to interviews or being analyzed. When I interviewed at Newton's Outfitters back home, Charlie had to drag me down the stairs. Regardless of whether I was ready or not, someone was going to have to hire me to do something.

"Have faith, girl. Don't forget, I know about these things." She tapped her forehead to emphasize her point.

"I know, I know," I laughed at my omniscient little friend.

"Listen, I'm not working tonight, but be ready by a quarter 'til."

xxMBxx

I stop in the student center to grab a coffee since the next hour and a half of my life will be spent in a seminar on Comparative Literary Studies and its relationship to other forms of creative production such as fine art, new media and music. This is one of the few classes that I can count on to marry what I will be doing with what I wish I could do, so I want to make sure I'm fully aware and functional.

"Isabella Swan. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I shiver a little as I recognize the condescending tenor of the voice. It was both uncomfortably close and unnecessarily loud to my eardrum. There is only one person that would take my attempts at ignoring him to mean that I'm having trouble hearing.

I lean back a little and turn to see Tyler Crowley, staring open mouthed as usual, standing way too close for comfort. Like most students on their first day of school, he's dressed to impress in his preppy khaki pants and argyle sweater.

I should probably mention that most of those students running out to buy new clothes for the first day of school are normally in middle or high school.

I notice a slight hint of smugness about him today, which speaks volumes about his arrogant ass. We're both third year students, so we're bound to run into each other, no matter how hard I try to avoid him. The pleasure is absolutely all his.

"Tyler, how are you? Beautiful day, don't you think?" I figure plastering my fake smile and feigning pleasantries will make my escape that much easier because I really don't have the time for this shit today.

"It's definitely a beautiful day out, Little Swan, but imagine how much more lovely my morning became when I heard that you and Embry Call were no longer an item?"

Shit. Shit. Fucking shit.

I have been ducking and dodging Tyler since I met him during our freshman orientation. He was one of those guys that must've been considered 'big time' in high school and thought that that popularity would automatically transfer over for him in college. I mean really, who wears their letterman jacket from high school to campus? I'm sure he was a nice enough guy, but his cockiness was like bug spray to a family of mosquitoes on a camping trip to me. I simply wasn't interested in getting to know him any better, especially after I spent a few precious moments that I would never get back talking to him.

Of course, in my world, that meant that he would take an unhealthy interest in me and would act as my shadow from that day forward.

Shit.

"Hmm. That's interesting, Tyler. I see the gossip mill is up and running this quarter."

He laughs and takes a step closer like I had given him a compliment or something. What the hell?

"Yes, it would seem so. You know how I like to keep my ears open in case there is news that is of interest to me." He takes another step closer and puts his arm against the wall that I'm standing next to, bringing him even further into the boundaries of my personal space.

Dear God,

it's me.

Please don't make me have to junk punch this imbecile on my first day of class.

Seriously.

Love, Bella

"So, Bella, what do you say we discuss my lovely morning and the newest product of the gossip mill over dinner this evening?"

I cock my head to the side, trying to gauge if he is really serious or not. If I didn't know any better, I would think that he believed he had a shot with me, even after all this time of me target practicing his ego.

But hell, he couldn't be that damn stupid. We both knew better than that.

At that very moment, the barista called my name, signaling that my coffee was as ready to go as I was. I rushed over to the condiment area, grabbed a handful of sweetener, and backed out of the nearest doorway as quickly as I could.

Thank you, God.

"Tyler, you know, as great as that sounds, I'm going to have to take a pass on that. See ya!"

I don't remember sprinting that fast across the quad in my life.

xxMBxx

Several hours and three classes later, I was back at the apartment getting ready for my interview. Monday was the only day of the week that I had to go to all three of my courses this quarter. I was drained, but it would be worth it to have a more relaxed schedule for the remainder of the week. Alice is coming by to pick me up for my job interview, so I have plenty of time to get ready without having to worry about getting to the train station on time.

I jump in the shower and pin my hair up into a tight bun, letting a few loose strands hang freely. I wasn't sure just how professionally I would need to be dressed since I had never interviewed at a bar before. Alice wasn't much help, at least not the way she normally is when I come to her for fashion advice. She gave me some lame excuse about not wanting to jinx it by adding her two cents and changing the outcome of the interview.

I love her, but she can be a space cadet at times.

Rose stepped in and helped me. We played it safe by selecting a charcoal gray pinstripe skirt and a light gray silk blouse. Confident and sexy – exactly what I want them to think. Rose gave the outfit her stamp of approval while she told me a little bit about this place - Midnight Blues. She has only been working there for about three months, but I had never been there. Not that I don't enjoy a nice night out with my friends, but since both Rose and Alice worked there, I sort of avoided it. I haven't had many real jobs, but work always seems like the place you avoid when you have free time, so I would usually suggest other places for us to go out and do damage.

Surprisingly, she only had positive things to say. Rose could be a hard ass and I trusted her to give it to me straight, the good and the bad. She told me that the tips were fabulous because the variety of clientele ranged from college students to the well-to-do upper crust of Chicago. There was a restaurant along with a full service bar, with the bar doing the majority of their business. The restaurant was so good, though, private parties were almost always being held there. The owners were friendly and fair and the atmosphere was busy, but somehow, relaxed at the same time. I knew from talking to Alice that her brother was a co-owner, but I had never had the chance to meet him. Rose said he was cool, but I figured he had to be a jerk if he made his sisters' friend's interview like everybody else. Alice just laughed at me and told me he and his partner were a pair of young, inexperienced businessmen that wanted to do everything by the book since this was their first true business venture. I really don't care, just as long as they like me and they're paying.

I put on the lightest touch of makeup, step into my sensible black pumps and give myself a once over in the mirror. I also say a silent prayer that I don't slip or something equally embarrassing before I have a chance to get this job. My phone vibrates on the dresser just as I look at the clock to check the time. It's a text from Alice:

I'm outside waiting on your fine ass. Come on!

I giggle and grab my purse and light leather jacket. The season is just turning to fall, so the days are nice, but the Chicago evenings are starting to get chilly. I'd rather be safe than sorry in case Alice and I decide to do something afterwards.

After a few minutes in Alice's bright yellow Beetle, my nerves are starting to set in. "Are you sure I look okay for this, Alice?" I'm not sure why, but suddenly, I'm very squeamish about going on this interview.

"What are you talking about? You look great! I couldn't have done a better job of dressing you myself. Don't let Rose know that." I giggle because she's right; it would go straight to her head if she knew that. "Besides, this is really just a formality. My word alone tells Edward and Jasper that you're the one for the job. Relax."

I tell myself to relax, but my mind is going into hyper drive.

"I didn't even bring copies of my resume. Alice, we have to go back."

"Bella, chill. This is a real interview, but they have already seen your resume. If you're that nervous, consider this more of a meet and greet. You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

"Alice?" I can't think of anything else to say.

"Bella, really. Have I steered you wrong yet?"

No, she hadn't. She was as good of a friend to me as Rosalie and I had only met her when I started at Northwestern. Rosalie and I have been friends since we were little, so that says a lot about Alice and how awesome of a person she is. She'd give the shirt off of her back to a stranger if they needed it.

I blow out a breath and lean my head against the window as the busy streets of Chicago pass us by.

I may as well enjoy the ride.