Sevvy Poo and the Empty Vodka Bottle
Summary: What happens when the Gryffindors drive Severus to drink in potions class one day? He empties that life-saving vodka bottle and starts the music.
D/c: Snape and all Harry Potter characters are owned by J.K Rowling.
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Severus: NO NO NO!! Longbottom, how many times do I have to tell you the bat wings go in AFTER the dragon tail?! And you, Potter! Your potion is BLACK! It's supposed to be RED! ARGH! He stomps off, knocking over the cauldrons so everyone has to jump onto their seats
Ron: I think he's finally lost it. . .
Hermione: -nods-
Severus: -comes back out, downing a bottle of vodka-
Draco: Professor, can I-
Severus: No, you little maggoty brain infested weasle! -he throws the empty bottle at Draco but it hits the wall- And YOU! Misseriser Potternerer!! Get meeeeeeeee the guitar!
Harry: What the hell. . .? -he looks at Hermione, scared-
Severus: Nevev-ver you mind, POPPIT! I knows where it is! -he leaves, and comes back wearing a leather skirt, a white t-shirt, and a guitar- Ready CLASS?!
-Harry, Ron, and Hermione are in shock with the rest of the class, Neville is just plain scared-
Severus: I ASKED TIF Y'ALL WERE READY!?!?
Ron: Yeah!
Severus: . . . MAN! -silence- I feel like. . . A WOMAN!! -music starts playing-
Ron: -is dieing with silent hysterical laughter-
Hermione: -is in shock-
Harry: Oh my god. . .
Severus: I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
-The Gryffindors are all on the floor laughing hysterically-
Severus: The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
Ron: Harry! Can't. . . breath! HARRY!
-Severus: starts dancing with his guitar and head bangs-
Harry: Me. . . either! -shaking-
Severus: The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance-we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
The class: OH OH OH!
-The Slytherins are still in shock-
Severus: Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman
-As the song finishes, the Gryffindors are passed out from laughing so damn hard and the Slytherins are still in shock-
Severus: Thank you! I love you Hogwarts! I'll be here till Thursday! YEAH! -leaves-
Summary: What happens when the Gryffindors drive Severus to drink in potions class one day? He empties that life-saving vodka bottle and starts the music.
D/c: Snape and all Harry Potter characters are owned by J.K Rowling.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Severus: NO NO NO!! Longbottom, how many times do I have to tell you the bat wings go in AFTER the dragon tail?! And you, Potter! Your potion is BLACK! It's supposed to be RED! ARGH! He stomps off, knocking over the cauldrons so everyone has to jump onto their seats
Ron: I think he's finally lost it. . .
Hermione: -nods-
Severus: -comes back out, downing a bottle of vodka-
Draco: Professor, can I-
Severus: No, you little maggoty brain infested weasle! -he throws the empty bottle at Draco but it hits the wall- And YOU! Misseriser Potternerer!! Get meeeeeeeee the guitar!
Harry: What the hell. . .? -he looks at Hermione, scared-
Severus: Nevev-ver you mind, POPPIT! I knows where it is! -he leaves, and comes back wearing a leather skirt, a white t-shirt, and a guitar- Ready CLASS?!
-Harry, Ron, and Hermione are in shock with the rest of the class, Neville is just plain scared-
Severus: I ASKED TIF Y'ALL WERE READY!?!?
Ron: Yeah!
Severus: . . . MAN! -silence- I feel like. . . A WOMAN!! -music starts playing-
Ron: -is dieing with silent hysterical laughter-
Hermione: -is in shock-
Harry: Oh my god. . .
Severus: I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' alright
Gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise-really raise my voice
Yeah, I wanna scream and shout
No inhibitions-make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain't gonna act politically correct
I only wanna have a good time
-The Gryffindors are all on the floor laughing hysterically-
Severus: The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
Ron: Harry! Can't. . . breath! HARRY!
-Severus: starts dancing with his guitar and head bangs-
Harry: Me. . . either! -shaking-
Severus: The girls need a break-tonight we're gonna take
The chance to get out on the town
We don't need romance-we only wanna dance
We're gonna let our hair hang down
The best thing about being a woman
Is the prerogative to have a little fun and...
The class: OH OH OH!
-The Slytherins are still in shock-
Severus: Oh, oh, oh, go totally crazy-forget I'm a lady
Men's shirts-short skirts
Oh, oh, oh, really go wild-yeah, doin' it in style
Oh, oh, oh, get in the action-feel the attraction
Color my hair-do what I dare
Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to feel the way I feel
Man! I feel like a woman!
I get totally crazy
Can you feel it
Come, come, come on baby
I feel like a woman
-As the song finishes, the Gryffindors are passed out from laughing so damn hard and the Slytherins are still in shock-
Severus: Thank you! I love you Hogwarts! I'll be here till Thursday! YEAH! -leaves-