Ice
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Wars
SUMMARY: "Don't be afraid, I feel it too." Rey didn't realize that a small number of words would have such an effect on her; she wasn't afraid, she was terrified. (Reylo)
Rey shuddered as the memory of her capture flooded her senses. Closing her eyes, she felt the Force pulse around her and she harnessed it to provide her a calm mind. Breathing in and out, she tried to find her centre. Clearly, her mind had other ideas: her breathing quickened and grew shallower, her pulse became erratic, her stomach turned to ice and her vision became cloudy. He entered her mind that night and refused to leave. Not wanting Master Luke to discover her conflicted feelings, she made her way outside of the shelter and sat on her favourite cold stone, overlooking the planet's beautiful open waters. Her body still hummed with excess anxiety and she found herself grow more and more frustrated with her emotional state. Why couldn't she simply forget him? She never, in all her years as a scavenger, had ever felt an attachment as strong as this one. She never felt an attachment, period. Perhaps this was a side effect of living alone for so long, she mused. Perhaps all those years of loneliness caused her to grasp onto the only man who had ever shown her interest. Sighing deeply, she knew, deep down, this was not the case. This was something more. The stars in the night sky twinkled above her, completely oblivious to her distress. Suddenly, she heard a twig snap, and instinctively, she strengthened her mental wards and washed her face of emotion.
"A bit late to be stargazing, isn't it Rey?" Master Luke inquired, watching his pupil's passive face for signs of duress.
"Yes Master, it is." Rey confirmed, her eyes reflecting the dimly lit galaxy above, "But I couldn't sleep and thought that a change of scenery might help."
"Dreams will pass in time." Luke replied, a soft smile gracing his features as he sent soothing emotions towards Rey through the Force.
"Not dreams per say, Master." Rey stated, acknowledging Luke's kindness with a slight nod, "Just excess anxiety."
"You will find peace one day, my young Padawan, I am sure of it." Luke soothed, as he offered Rey his hand and the two walked back towards the shelter.
SWSWSW
Weeks later and Rey still could not find this fabled peace that Master Luke had described. Despite her rigorous training and extreme physical exhaustion, Rey was still riddled with anxiety. He still consumed her thoughts, his evergreen eyes burned into hers that night and she still saw them, every night after. Except she didn't want to see his eyes; eyes that for one split second during his intrusion into her mind had not shown her hate, but mercy? Understanding? Affection? And she, regardless of all her misgivings on the subject, had considered that perhaps there was some light in him. That maybe, just maybe, there was more Ben then Kylo Ren. Perchance he wanted her to be witness to his moment in the light. And furthermore, that heunderstood her feelings of loneliness and despair from being abandoned on such an arid planet as a young child: that they were both broken, starved for affection and understanding and could be whole together. This was the cusp of her anxiety, she realized this days ago: the need to be reliant on someone to make her whole.
"I'm going outside again, Master." Rey mumbled to Luke, who gazed at her with concern in his blue eyes.
Walking towards her stone, she sat down and wondered briefly if he was gazing into the night just as she was, in some distinct system. The soft sounds of waves crashing on the seashore played in the distance and the wind blew gently, throwing strands of brown hair throughout her face. Breathing deeply, she willed herself to calm down, hoping beyond hope, that it would work this time.
"I'm glad that I'm not the only one who believes there in good in my nephew." Luke whispered, causing Rey to jump nearly a foot into the air and gaze at Luke in fear. "I can cloak myself if I wish, Rey. I can feel your emotions, despite your best efforts to hide them. You feel a kinship towards Ben."
"Yes Master," Rey answered, dropping all pretext, "I am convinced there must be some light, deep down. He could have not shown me an ounce of goodness, simply attacked my mind and left. But there was a moment where hate did not exist in his eyes, there was goodness."
Nodding slightly, Luke regarded Rey with intense scrutiny, "Maybe kinship was not the correct word to describe your emotions. Affection, I believe, would be a better choice. Affection is no longer forbidden in the Jedi Order, Rey."
"I have never felt something like this Master." Rey beseeched, her eyes wild with concern. "It has taken a hold of my mind."
"You should let it, then." Luke said gently. "Your emotions could help bring Ben back to the Light Side. He needs to be aware that someone believes in him and can make him whole."
"I hope he can be saved Master." Rey stated, her eyes fixed on the stars above, "But can one shred of Light overcome years of Darkness?"
"That one shred of Light is like an ember glowing in a fire-pit. It needs to be prodded into creating a proper flame." Luke responded, "The potential is there."
"Thank you Master." Rey replied, a small smile appearing on her face. "I will consider your advice."
"An excellent idea, Rey. Good night." Luke said, disappearing back into the shelter.
"Thank you Master." Rey answered, still focused on her surroundings. Gazing over the natural beauty surrounding her, she attempted to follow Luke's direction: to not freeze in fear about the prospect of feeling an attraction to someone, to allow her feelings to aid her in helping to save him. She wasn't sure how long she sat on that rock, making no progress in the slightest; it could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. Feeling suddenly exhausted, Rey rapidly rose, making her way towards the shelter and staring up at the stars, she said. "You might not be afraid Ben, but I am."
SWSWSW
Hello there! So I've been a fan of Star Wars since I was about 11 but this is my first foray into fan fiction. I hope that you all enjoyed this one-shot, unless anyone would like me to write more? Please read and review :)