"Luke, I am your father." Darth Vader inhaled deeply then exhale equally loud.
"No! NO! Noooooooo!" Luke yelled.
"Yes, I am. You have my eyes," Vader informed after breathing deeply.
"Hmmm...if you really are my father, shouldn't I take care of you?" Luke asked.
"You can join me, Luke. Then we can rule the galaxy."
"Before I say no, let's take you to the medics for your asthma."
"[Breathes] I do not have asthma!" Vader insisted. "This respirator works perfectly fine! Except it is sorta wet from the saliva..."
Luke gasped. "That's no way to treat someone with asthma! I bet it's moldy from all that liquid!"
Vader winced, but Luke couldn't tell.
"That would be gross," Vader stated flatly. "But enough about me. What about your future? Do you want to be some Jedi or someone that will rule the world? I doing great and I love my job!"
"You decide everything for me, Dad! I want to choose a different path! The Jedi path!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"We'll see about that!" Vader grabbed his lightsaber and swung-cutting off his son's arm.
"Ow! This is child abuse! I'm running away! And you'll never get me!" Luke dashed out of the room.
"Luke, I didn't mean it! Come back!" Vader yelled after him.