Rating: PG. There's just a bit of innuendo and kissing, no sex or violence.
Ships: VampJesse/VampWillow; Jesse/Willow, Jesse/Teresa, Jesse/Faith friendship, Giles/Jenny; Drusilla/VampJonathan, Jonathan/Amanda. Various cannon ships are mentioned too.
Disclaimer: I'm just playing with Joss' battered, discarded toys, they don't actually belong to me. Except for Ani, she's mine. Description: It seems that a pretty good way of determining if you're going to die on the Hellmouth is to check whether or not your name starts with "J". If it does, you're out of luck. Four characters whose names start with "J", five things that might have happened to each of them had things gone differently.
Author's note: The way this works is that I tried to focus the scenes around things that might have happened had the characters (Jesse, Jenny, Joyce and Jonathan)not died, with the constraints that each has a vampire scene, a post-"The Gift" scene, and at least oneseason 7 scene.

Five things that never happened to J.

Chapter 1: Jesse

1. One Night in the Wishverse

Ironically enough, Jesse had never felt so alive. Power coursed through his veins; and everything was more clear and vivid, more real, more vital. Especially the redhead walking next to him down the darkened city street. He had never known Willow to be more appealing, more… sexy. Jesse almost didn't want to find Xander that night. Then they wouldn't turn him, and he could have Willow all to himself. But they were best friends, and they would always stick together, even after death.

But for now, at least, he had Willow's undivided attention. He turned to her and smiled darkly. She noticed, and didn't so much smile back as give him a look that somehow managed to communicate both warmth and favour, and the most amazing darkness and evil.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked him.

"You," Jesse answered with a lascivious grin.

"Look at a girl like that, and she'll think your thoughts are not entirely chaste." Willow's lips curled up wickedly. "Anyways, Darla would get jealous."

Jesse scoffed. "She doesn't care about me. I'm just a toy to her."

Willow raised an eyebrow sceptically. "I don't see what you're complaining about, I sure wouldn't mind being Darla's plaything."

Apparently, Jesse didn't share this point of view. "It's just that she treats me like a kid," he complained.

"Well, you kinda are a kid."

"But I feel like so much more."

"I know!" Willow's eyes seemed to glow with excitement. "It's a new world, that we never even knew existed before, and now suddenly it's arisen, or arose, or something, but the point is that we're right in the thick of it: the chaos, the mayhem, the terror-"

Jesse stepped in front of her, bringing his companion's ramblings to a halt. "You know how sexy you are when you do that?"

She smiled mischievously back. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"I think I have an idea or two."

Jesse leaned in towards the other vampire. Suddenly, his eyes widened in shock as he felt something plunge through his heart. Willow watched in horror as her friend turned to dust and crumbled to the ground. Xander stood behind the fresh pile of dust, relief clearly displayed on his face.

"Willow!" He was breathing heavily, as if he had just run several blocks. "Thank God you're alright. I saw you from…" He pointed vaguely to somewhere behind himself. "These past few days… Jesse…" Xander's eyes drifted down to the pile of dust at his feet, now being dispersed by the wind. He did not notice Willow's face change, or what was happening, until she was upon him and it was too late.

2. Blame Xander

Jesse found Willow in the stacks, leaning against a shelf, arms crossed, staring blankly. She sighed as he approached her.

"Hey," he said, but his friend didn't reply. "Look, if you're finished re-shelving, Cordelia'll drive us home." His voice was level and hollow sounding.

Willow scoffed. "I think I'd rather walk."

"Haven't you had enough of being attacked by vampires for one night?" Jesse asked, with a note of concern in his voice.

"If it's between that and riding in the same car with Cordelia…" Willow started, bitterly, stopping when she saw Jesse regarding her with uncharacteristically unguarded sympathy.

"It's weird, huh?" he said softly.

"More than weird. It's scary." Willow said emphatically.

Jesse looked uncertain. "I'm talking about Xander and Cordelia here, not Angel."

"So am I."

"Oh."

Willow's look softened. "How long have you known?"

"A week or two. Ever since my trip to the janitor's closet after that little accident in biology class."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Xander kinda begged me not to."

Willow scoffed again. "That's no excuse." Jesse merely shrugged half-heartedly in reply, so she went on. "We're best friends, Jesse, we shouldn't keep things from each other, especially when the thing is our other best friend sucking face with the resident super-bitch! Especially not when I – I…" Willow's bottom lip started to quiver, and she stopped her tirade, determined not to cry. She glanced over to Jesse, who appeared to be studying his sneakers with avid interest. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I forgot that you like her."

Jesse looked up with a forced smile. "Pfft." He waved his hand dismissively. "Hardly. Cordelia was just a fling to pass the time. Except, y'know, without there actually being a fling." Willow just kept looking at her friend kindly. Jesse sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets. He stared at the spines of the books without reading the titles. "So maybe I feel a little betrayed. I mean, I understand that some people let their hormones get the better of them once in a while. On the other hand, some people let their hormones govern their every waking move. I get that. It's just… it's not fair."

"Jesse…"

"Way to sound like a three-year-old, I know."

Willow let a slight smile grace her features. "Well, I'm kinda ready to join the preschool class myself." Jesse returned the smile, but it soon faded from the redhead's face. "Jesse, when are things gonna go right for us?"

Jesse looked like he wasn't sure what his friend was talking about, and indeed, he didn't. "Well, um…" He settled on a date-centric interpretation. "You're giving up on Oz a little early, aren't you?"

"No I'm not." Willow sighed. "But it's like, as soon as something is coming together, something else is falling apart. I just wish we could all be happy, y'know?"

Jesse nodded, understanding her meaning. "I blame Xander," he said simply.

Willow looked incredulous. "That can only go so far."

Jesse shook his head. "No, he jinxed us, remember? 'We're doomed' were his very words."

"Hey, that's right." Willow looked indignant now.

"Hence, I blame Xander for everything."

"Stupid Xander."

Willow caught Jesse's eye and they started laughing. It suddenly struck Jesse that Willow really was beautiful when she laughed. Then the laughter and the thinking Willow was beautiful suddenly seemed inappropriate, given the circumstances, and he stopped.

"He doesn't know what he's missing." Jesse said sincerely. Willow blinked and cocked her head like a confused puppy, which was just as cute as her laughing, and her lips were slightly parted in a wondering expression, and they looked so pretty…

"What's taking you guys so long?" Cordelia demanded as she stalked through the stacks. "I'm being all generous, the least you could do is not make me wait." She stared at the pair of friends expectantly.

3. Bad Boy

He was a wolf, on the prowl. Not in the Oz sense, of course. In the sense that he was alone at the Bronze, since Buffy and Faith had been missing in action lately, and Xander and Willow were being all mopey about it, and Teresa still hadn't succumbed to his winning charm and agreed to go out with him yet. But that was okay. Jesse had no problem being a lone wolf, he was cruising, he was checking out the babes, he was –

"Faith!"

Relieved to finally find someone he knew, Jesse pushed though the crush on the dance floor – which, he thought in passing, was oddly heavy on Y-chromosomes – until he was dancing in front of Faith. The other dancers glared, but Jesse wasn't paying attention. Faith was swaying to the music, eyes closed, completely lost in the rhythm. Her eyelids parted slightly and she caught sight of her dancing partner.

"Jesse!" If he hadn't known better, Jesse might have thought that she wasn't exactly overcome with joy at the sight of him.

"Faith!" he replied with a wide grin.

"What d'you think you're doin'?"

Jesse shrugged mid-shimmy. "Dancing?"

Faith raised an eyebrow at his interpretation of the word. "Yeah? Well, you're crampin' my style."

"You look kinda cramped to begin with," he replied, casting a glance at the dancers pressing in on the Slayer, who looked like she was considering being offended by his remark.

"What's that s'posed to mean?"

"Just, if you've got cramps, maybe you need someone to help you relax." Jesse waggled his eyebrows significantly.

"You offerin'?" Faith asked with a bemused expression.

Jesse spread his arms magnanimously, as he continued to dance. "You know me, I love to help the ladies."

"I think it's your dancing that's in need of the help," Faith rejoined, and sauntered off the dance floor.

Never one to take a hint, especially not those issued by attractive brunettes, Jesse followed, ignoring the death glares of the abandoned boy-toys. "Yeah, well, maybe you can teach me," he said hopefully, if a little out of breath.

The Slayer looked exasperated as she headed towards the bar, and might have gotten the idea that she could scare her uninvited admirer off. "That's not all I could teach you," she said, fixing the boy with a predatory look. But Jesse persisted.

"Just call me thirsty for knowledge."

"I'm a real thirst quencher."

They reached the bar. "Would you like me to buy you a drink?" Jesse ventured.

"Aw, you wanna share a sody-pop?"

"I don't drink sody-pop." Jesse assumed an air of supreme coolness as he ordered two beers from the bartender, promptly changing the order to two Cokes when asked for ID.

Faith grinned. "Coulda fooled me. You seem like a pop kinda guy."

If Jesse thought the conversation was approaching dangerous territory, he didn't show it. "Well, I pop in other ways."

"Mr. Jack-in-the-Box, huh? Hoping I'll turn your crank?"

"Faith, you've already got my head spinning."

"Keep on spinning like that and you'll… you'll…" Faith furrowed her brow, unable to come up with anything suggestive. "… get really dizzy…" Much to her chagrin, her drinking companion started laughing. "What're you laughin' at?"

"I won." Jesse said plainly.

"Excuse me?"

"The battle of the single-entendre, I won." Jesse smiled contentedly. "You have to admit, you were getting pretty lame near the end there."

It was as though Faith didn't know whether to be offended or amused. "Lame?"

"Yeah, I mean, were you even listening to what you were saying? Mr. Jack-in-the-Box?" Jesse laughed again. "I didn't know that you could be such a dork."

There was no question about it. Now Faith was offended. "And I suppose you think you're so suave."

Jesse just smiled. "Hey, at least when I'm being a dork, I realize it."

"Well, you're being a huge one now." Faith slammed her glass down on the bar, and stalked off in the direction of the pool tables, Jesse trailing close behind.

"I know, it's part of my irresistible dorky charm."

"Yeah? Watch me resistin'," Faith threw over her shoulder, and kept walking.

"Oh, c'mon, you're not gonna leave me alone out there, are you?" Jesse finally stopped his chase and shouted after Faith, "Fine! I don't need you! I've got enough party in me to have fun by myself! Check out these moves!" Almost as if by some morbid compulsion, Faith stopped in her tracks and turned to watch as he danced manically, mixing '80s break-dancing with modern rave moves, and something special that was all Jesse. Faith moved closer to him as she continued to stare incredulously. Then, almost in spite of herself, she started laughing. Smelling blood, Jesse's dancing became even more outrageous, until he collapsed against a pillar, out of breath. Faith was rather short of breath herself, only in her case it was because she was laughing so hard.

"Feeling… more relaxed?" Jesse asked in between gasps.

Faith composed herself. "Funnily enough, yeah."

"Good, then maybe you can help me with this cramp I gave myself." He massaged his shoulder and winced.

Faith sniggered. "Y'know, Jesse? For a big dork-head, you're alright."

4. Driven Away

Buffy was dead.

Jesse sped through the night, desert on either side of him, wind blowing through his hair. The vintage T-bird convertible that he had restored and suped-up himself the summer after high school felt like the only friend he had left. Of course, he still had Willow and Xander, but… things were different. They had been getting different for a while. To be fair, it wasn't them, it was the town. It was sucking the life out of all of them, and yet they stayed, to protect a place that wasn't even a speck on a map… that wasn't fair either. They were saving the world. But somehow, Jesse just didn't care anymore. He was angry at himself for not caring, but he couldn't force himself.

It had started with Faith. It was different for him than it was for the others. Jesse always thought that he was the only one who had really ever counted the Slayer as a friend, as much a friend as the rest of the Scoobies. She was the first the Hellmouth had taken from him. Not that she died, but she was lost nonetheless.

Then Teresa. He had saved her, and slowly won her over, until she wouldn't think of dancing with anyone else at the prom except Jesse. He supposed that she never really fit in with the Scoobies, but she was smart and kind, and had this quiet wit that surprised you with its sharpness, and she didn't find Jesse totally repulsive, and he loved her. She couldn't take life on the Hellmouth after her kid brother was killed. So she got out, and made a new life for herself, while Jesse stayed behind with his friends to fight the good fight. He wondered how she was doing.

The difference with the loss of Buffy was that she had actually died.

Jesse, Xander and Willow had been friends long before her arrival, but she was the one who made them the Scoobies. She led the crusade against evil, and there was something about her that made the fight seem worth the sacrifice. Now that she was gone…

Xander and Willow were going to stay, he could tell. Willow was more tied up in the supernatural stuff than he was, with her magic and her closeness to Giles, and to Dawn. They had already decided that she would move into the Summers' house to look after her. And of course Xander had loved, and still loved, Buffy in a way that Jesse never had. Buffy was his friend, but… he didn't want to die in some small town, away from the woman he loved.

Jesse drove faster. The further he got from Sunnydale, the less he felt the need to return.

5. Friends Forever

Jesse was glued to the TV, fascinated with the scene before him.

"What are you watching?" Teresa asked as she came to stand next to him. The local evening news was playing footage shot from a helicopter of deadlocked roads leading from a small town. It all seemed rather unremarkable, but for the caption, which read "Exodus: Sunnydale."

Jesse suddenly sprang from the couch and went to the bedroom.

"What's going on?" Teresa asked, not bothering to hide the worry in her voice.

"I don't know," came Jesse's muffled voice from the closet as he dug out his duffle bag. "Whatever it is, if the people of a town known for their ability to ignore things that go bump in the night are actually clued in this time…" He nodded to himself as if in confirmation. "It's bad." He opened a dresser drawer and started tossing in random articles of clothing. "And you can bet that Xander and Willow will be there fighting it."

"You're going back." Teresa's voice was all but flat, with a hint of accusation creeping in.

"I'm not packing for Honolulu." Jesse confirmed as he moved to the washroom to collect his personal affects.

"Why?" his girlfriend asked, in a tone that clearly expressed her sense of betrayal. "More to the point, why now? You left to avoid injury and death, why go back when you're most likely to get killed?"

Jesse emerged from the washroom, and set his bag on the floor. "That's not true." He approached Teresa and took her by surprise by kissing her deeply. Still holding her, he explained, "I left, because compared to what I can have with you, there's nothing left for me there." He fixed her eyes with his, as he searched for some sign of understanding. "But I still care about my friends. And if that means anything at all, then now's the time to show it."

Teresa looked at her boyfriend sadly, and spoke softly. "But what if they're already dead? For things to get this bad –"

"Then all the more reason for me to go." He smiled and tilted her chin up. "Hey, I love you. I can't keep away, remember? Like gum on your shoe, I'm stuck on you."

Jesse was rewarded with a laugh as Teresa remembered a Valentine's Day of years past. "That was the stupidest poem I've ever heard."

"But you loved it." He kissed her softly, and stepped away, reaching for his bag. "And it got the point across: I can't stay away from you for long, I'll always come back."

Teresa crossed her arms over her chest as the worried look returned to her face. "What if something happens to you?"

"I won't let it," Jesse replied as he hoisted his bag onto his shoulder. "And even if something did happen to me, knowing Sunnydale, I'd find some way or another to come back."

She hit him playfully. "Don't joke like that."

"Okay, okay." He gazed at her, searchingly. "I have to do this."

Teresa nodded. "And I can't go back. You understand, right?"

Jesse nodded in reply. He kissed Teresa one more time, and walked through the living room to the door of their apartment. He stopped in the doorway, and turned.

"I'll be back."