Curse of the Poke-Rangers
By Ryan Edgerton
Chapter1- In the Beginning...
Brock woke up in a grumpy mood that morning. He'd found himself getting up grumpy a lot lately. Being rejected by a girl every episode or so had that kind of effect on him. As per usual he made breakfast while Ash, Misty, Pikachu, and Togepi slept. They'd rented a hotel room in some place called Sericia City, just one of the many non-descript cities their trio had passed through since starting their journeys. The eggs and tofu were almost done cooking when Brock suddenly heard a sound from Misty's room...
Since it sounded strangely unlike somebody sleeping with a Togepi in their arms, Brock decided to check in on it. At first, he simply stood at the door and listened. No, the sound definitely wasn't that of sleeping, nor of somebody getting dressed or too many other sounds he'd normally associate with this time of morning. It sounded like... one of those really cheesy karate movies with laser guns and big robots thrown in. Since he didn't think Misty watched that kind of stuff, he decided to check in on her discreetly.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Brock exclaimed as he got a good look at what Misty was watching. Misty immediately freaked out and darted across the room to turn off the TV, but not before Brock was halfway to Ash and Pikachu's room, laughing like a madman. "Ash! Come quick! You gotta see this!"
"Wwhhaaa..." Ash inquired sleepily as Brock burst into his room. Pikachu rubbed the sleep out of it's eyes as Ash slowly sat up. "What's the fuss for, Brock? Is Team Rocket at it again?"
"Ash, you're not gonna believe what I just saw Misty watching!" Brock stated, still laughing so bad his side hurt. Ash and Pikachu exchanged a 'why should we care' look.
"Brock, next time you find something on TV funny, tell me after I'm awake, not before."
At that moment, Misty came rushing into the room, panic stricken.
"Ash, whatever you do, don't listen to a word Brock says!"
Now Ash was semi-interested in what was going on. In most cases, if it was embarrassing to Misty, he found it funny, and there were few exceptions to that rule.
"Ooohh, I understand..." Brock said, a mischievous grin overtaking him. "... Misty doesn't want anybody to know she watches-"
"Just one word and I'll sick my Staryu on you!" Misty threatened.
"Watches what, Brock?" Ash inquired, now very interested.
"Don't you dare, Brock!" Misty shouted, a Pokeball already in her hands and aimed squarely at Brock's face.
"Misty watches... the Mighty Morphin' Poke-Rangers!" Brock blurted out before collapsing, holding his side in laughter. Ash and Pikachu gave Misty a blank look for a second, then exploded into laughter. Misty's whole face got red with blush as Ash, Brock, and Pikachu's laugh fest continued. Togepi wandered aimlessly into the room, looked everybody but Misty laughing, and decided to start laughing itself. Misty gave Togepi a 'not you too' look, then fell to her knees in defeat and put Staryu's Pokeball away.
"I wish the Poke-Rangers were real, so they could beat you up, Brock! Then you wouldn't be laughing!" Misty screamed, causing all laughter to cease and the room's sole window to break into small pieces.
Brock looked blankly at Misty for a second before his macho, masculine pride activated.
"Yeah, well, even if they were real, I bet I'm so good a trainer I could kick all their butts, *with* or without their giant robo-thingies."
"Poke-Zords! They're called Poke-Zords!" Misty corrected.
Ash, Brock, and Pikachu fell back into fits of laughter. Misty walked out of the room, discouraged and a little ashamed, but mostly peeved at Brock and Ash.
Togepi, ignorant of everything, just kept on laughing.
"Prepare for lots of trouble!"
"You'd better make it double!"
On the road once more, Ash and Co. all gave Team Rocket the 'oh please, not again!' look as Jessie and James continued their ever-so repetitive motto, finishing with the usual "Meeowth! Dat's right!"
" 'Dat's' dumb." Ash replied. "Don't you two ever give up?"
"Of course not; it's against the unwritten laws of the space/time/anime continuum." James replied.
"Now hand over da Pikachu or dings get ugly!" Meowth threatened.
"Not while we're on duty!" Said about five or so unidentified voices out of nowhere, some feminine, some masculine. As if on instinct Team Rocket turned to look behind them, then expressions of extreme surprise came over them as five multi-colored figures in ridiculous karate stances suddenly teleported onto the scene.
"It's-it's-it's-it's-!" Was all Misty could exclaim as she was on the verge of fainting.
The lead of the team stepped forward.
"Are you three members of Team Rocket?" The red-clad fighter asked. His black visor that covered most of his helmet was shaped like a wide flame.
"Nonononononono" Jessie and James exclaimed, shaking their heads fervently.
"The bad guys always lie." The blue-suited figure, who's visor was shaped very much like a Squirtle's shell, stated.
"Besides, they're wearing Team Rocket uniforms." The green one stated, who's visor was shaped, you guessed it, like a bulb.
"Are these three giving you kids trouble?" The female yellow fighter inquired, her visor shaped like a stretched out lightning bolt.
"T-t-ttt-trouble?" James sputtered as if holding in some kind of urge.
"Did she just say *trouble*??" Jessie's expression looked very similar to James's.
"No! No! Don't say it!" Meowth pleaded, but he was too late.
"Prepare your multi-colored selves for TROUBLE!"
"And you'd better make it a Bandi-Karate DOUBLE!"
"Yep, I thought so." Said the pink fighter, who's visor looked disturbingly like a Jigglypuff's hair puff. "Team Rocket members, alright."
"Let's show em' what trouble is." The leader exclaimed. "Poke-Rangers, power up!"
"You've got to be kidding me." Ash exclaimed as the five fighters rushed towards TR shouting Karate-style.
"Arbok! Likatung! Go!" Jessie screamed in panic.
"Weesing! Victreebell! Protect me!" James screamed like a girl.
"Get me outta here!" Meowth exclaimed.
Within a few minutes of way overdone karate combat, TR was effectively defeated. The trio of bad deeds dashed off into the forests, deciding to get lost while the getting was good, leaving the heroes to talk with the five... strange rescuers.
"You kids OK?" Pink asked.
Suddenly, Misty squealed in the way only a devout fan can, and rushed up to all of her heroes talking faster than any human being could comprehend.
Ash and Brock simply starred.
"You've gotta be kidding me..." Was all Brock could say.
Chapter 2- Poke-Rangers in Need
OK, to save time with all the unimportant info about the 'Mighty' Morphin' Poke-People, I will now simply compile everything you'll ever need to know about them individually into a disgustingly long paragraph. I dare you to say all this in one breath. Red Ranger is named Marco, Blue is Bruce, Green is Reno, Yellow is Kiana-wastuashi-deep-fried-noodles-on-rice, Kwdfnor for short (don't bother trying to pronounce it, you'll never do it right), and Pink is named Peach. By now it's obvious what Pokemon all their powers are based off. Misty has a crush on Red and Blue, but thinks Green needs to shave badly. Brock was quick to ask Yellow and Pink to go out on a date with him, and they were about to say 'yes' when Misty informed the Rangers that Brock thought he was so good a trainer he could beat all of them hands down. Of course, that earned Brock a beating as the Rangers karate-ed the crud outta him until he screamed 'uncle' and agreed to say 'Poke-Rangers rock' fifty times without stopping. The reason the Rangers were in Poke-world instead of their own universe was that they'd finally managed to defeat all the bad guys in their own universe, and were hoping that they'd be able to find some bad guys in other universes to occupy their time.
"Well . . . " Ash thought out loud. ". . . maybe you could take out Team Rocket headquarters. That sure would help."
"Any idea where their headquarters is located?" Green inquired.
"Um, I dunno. Giovanni had a gym in Viridian city; maybe Team Rocket headquarters is located somewhere around there."
"Thanks. We should be able to take it from here." Red said as the group turned to go.
"Wait!" Misty cried. "Take me with you!"
"Uh... OK."
"Hey Misty! Wait for us!" Ash shouted, running after her.
"You leave me outta this." Brock mumbled as he simply stood there, watching them vanish. "I'm gonna go get in touch with a Poke-Rangers haters group."
The Poke-Rangers, on their way to Viridian, managed to run across Cassidy and Butch. After the motto and an overblown fight sequence, the Poke-Rangers managed to take Cassidy and Butch hostage until they'd agree to tell where HQ was located.
"We'll never talk!" Cassidy shouted defiantly.
"Wanna bet?" Pink said, turning to Red. "I think I know how we can get them to squeal."
"I was thinking the same thing, Peach." Red suddenly held his fist up high in the air. "Charmander-zord!"
"Squirtle-zord!"
"Bulbasaur-zord!"
"Pichu-zord!"
"Puff-zord!"
"And... your little reciting show is supposed to scare us?" Butch inquired, mere seconds before a terrible earthquake shook the ground. Cassidy, Butch, Ash, Misty, and Pikachu immediately looked in the direction of the quake.
Tall as skyscrapers, metal as a Magnemite, and dangerous as a Mewtwo, five giant robots that looked a lot like Pokemon suddenly arrived on the scene.
Here's a basic description of the Poke-zords. They basically look like Pokemon, but with a few small alterations. Squirtle-zord doesn't have a tail, Bulbasaur-zord doesn't walk on legs but instead tank treads, Pichu-zord and Puff-zord basically look like the baby versions of Pikachu and Jigglypuff from GS, and Charmander-zord's tail flame is basically just painted metal interlaced with small flamethrowers to make it look vaguely realistic.
"Ready to talk yet?" Green inquired.
"It's so much fun having giant robotic Poke-Zords available whenever and wherever you need them." Blue stated.
"Now, we can do this one of six ways..." Red stated, glaring at Cassidy and Butch. "Burned, drenched, leafed, electrocuted, blasted by supersonic waves-"
"OK! OK! WE'LL TALK!" Butch exclaimed.
"Out of curiosity, what was number six?" Ash inquired.
"Poke-Megazord mode." Red stated. "Wanna see?"
"He loves showing off." Green stated.
"Hey, you dissing me?" Red challenged.
"No, just stating the facts."
"Red and Green are always at it whenever the world isn't in immediate danger." Misty whispered to Ash. "The first time they got like this was episode 6, then again in 8, 9, all the way through till 16, then 19, 22, 26, 27, 35, 37-126, and they almost resolved their differences in episode226, but then they started fighting over a banana milkshake from episode 7, and it's never been resolved since. But Marco's always right." She stated, stars in her eyes as she looked at Red.
"Oh, gimme a break." Ash muttered.
"Chu." Pikachu agreed.
Butch finally divulged the location of Team Rocket's headquarters, and, leaving Cassidy and Butch tied to a tree, the Poke-Rangers and our present group of regular heroes set out towards TRHQ in the Poke-Rangers Poke-Zords.
"This is the only way to travel!" Misty exclaimed as she stuck her head out the window of Squirtle-zord. "I'll be the envy of Poke-ranger fans forever!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever Misty." Ash muttered.
"Out of curiosity, do you two have a thing for each other?" Blue asked.
"Me, like him/her?! Not a chance!" Misty and Ash exclaimed at the same time.
"I only like men in armor." Misty stated, putting her hands around Blue and her head on his shoulder. She sighed dreamily.
"Um, I'm trying to drive here." Blue stated, but Misty ignored him.
At that exact moment, you could see Ash's heart break into a million little pieces.
"Sir!" Came a loud voice over the intercom.
"Leave me alone, I'm busy." Giovanni stated, a game of NeoHyperDeathPong2000Alpha3 visible on his laptop.
"But sir-!"
"I said I'm busy! Go away!"
"Sir, look out your window!"
"You're fired! Never interrupt me like this again!" He pushed the mute button on his intercom system and turned back to his laptop. "Fools. How am I ever supposed to dominate the world with such half-pixel idiots on my staff. Probably spend all day watching a bouncing ball instead of stealing Pokemon, no good lousy-"
At that moment, a sound like giant footsteps was heard that shook Giovanni's office. He rushed out to the window, only to see five giant Poke-zords headed his way. He rubbed his eyes, then reached for the intercom. "Hey you! Get back to work! Why didn't you tell me there were giant robots on the way here?! I should fire you!"
"You did fire me, sir, and I did try to warn you, but you wouldn't-"
"Never mind that now, you dolt! Activate red alert mode! Get my army ready for action! Battle stations!"
"Why should I? You fired me."
"Do it, or I'll fire you again!"
"Oooh, I'm really scared now."
"Well,... you're hired! Now sound the alert system!"
"Can I have a raise?"
"WHAT?!"
"I won't come back to work without a raise."
"You... YOU'RE FIRED!"
"I know... your point was?"
"JUST DO IT OR I'LL SICK MY MACHAMP ON YOU!!!" Giovanni threatened.
With that, TRHQ suddenly went into mega-super-hyper-battle-mode. Laser cannons appeared all over the surface of the huge but discrete building, a large army of Pokemon and TR members began forming outside, and Giovanni's office suddenly turned into a huge steel Pokeball-shaped orb and flew off to safety.
"Poke-rangers, let's do it!" Red stated.
"You mean..." Blue inquired.
"You betcha. It's that time again."
"Time to tell kids the moral of today's story?" Green inquired.
"No, not that time yet, you idiot!" Red replied.
"Ooohh, you mean Poke-Megazord mode1 time." Green stated.
"Duh!" Yellow stated. "Wise old proverb say 'him who know not think not'."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Green retaliated.
"It means you're an idiot to be fighting over a banana milkshake from six years ago. Duh!"
"Hey, I can't help it if I'm allergic to nuts. Marco put nuts on my milkshake just to spite me, and I can prove it, too!"
"Read my lips, dweebazoid! Ernie from the juicebar did it, not me!" Red retorted.
"You mean that fat guy who got replaced by the police cop in the third part of the series?" Pink inquired. "He was cute!"
"Um, how exactly are you talking to each other?" Ash inquired.
"It's a Poke-Rangers thing. Just don't ask." Blue stated.
"Can we forget about the milkshake and focus on utterly destroying the bad guys? They've kinda started firing at us already." Yellow stated.
"Don't blame me, it's Marco's fault." Green replied.
"It's Ernie's fault!" Red retorted.
At that moment, a sudden laser beam struck Charmader-zord, bouncing harmlessly off with the exception of a small, one millimeter scratch on the upper chest armor.
"You... you... you BARBARIANS!!" Red exclaimed. "Do you have and IDEA how long it takes to PAINT these things!?!! That's it, now you feel Poke-Ranger wrath! Poke-Megazord mode1 mode, now! Engage transformation sequence!"
"Blue Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
"Green Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
"Yellow Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
"Pink Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
With that, Pichu-zord suddenly became the head and it's rather small tail came off, Squirtle-Zord became the chest with it's shell facing forward, it's head and limbs tucked inside the shell. Bulbasaur-zord split in half, each half becoming a leg and foot combo, Charmander-Zord folded into the right arm, and Puff-zord became the other arm. Pichu-zord's tail suddenly went light-saber, becoming a really stinkin big sword. A weird-looking helmet-type thingy folded up from inside Squirtle-Zord's shell and went over Pichu-zord's head like a visor or motorcycle helmet or something, and with a sudden lightning bolt and cruddy action music, the transformation sequence completed.
Suddenly, with no logical explanation, all the rangers were suddenly in one much bigger, command-room-like cockpit center. Each sat in a chair around the forward and side controls, Red in the middle with Yellow and Blue sitting next to him, Yellow on his right and Blue on his left, and past them was Green on the far right and Pink on the far left. Green manned the coffee maker as Red took control of weapons.
"Now they're gonna pay!" Red exclaimed.
"Should we use the Mega-Sword on them? That's usually how we finish off all our menacing opponents." Pink stated.
"Are you kidding? Let them die quick and painlessly? Where's the entertainment in that?! We've got to make it look like we're struggling to win or we'll lose ratings."
"And that could mean..." Blue shuddered.
"What? What would losing your ratings mean?" Misty inquired.
"It could mean the greatest evil of all..." Pink stated.
"A cut in our salaries!" Green exclaimed.
"So,... what are you gonna do?" Ash inquired.
The rangers looked at each other for a minute as badly aimed laser beams continued to miss their titanically large Megazord.
"We'll use... our 'other weapons' mode!" Red exclaimed, pushing a button conveniently labeled 'other weapons mode' right in front of him. "Ready the flamethrower! Lock and load the leaf cannon! Charge the thunder shock array! Prepare the supersonic destroyer system! Activate our super soaker!"
"Um, Marco?" Green said.
"What?"
"You just did."
"Shut up; I know that. I just had to say it to sound dramatic."
Chapter 3- Weapons of Mass Destruction
"Those idiots! Why can't they hit the stupid robot-thingy! It's just been standing there for a half an hour and they've only scored one lousy hit on it!" Giovanni mumbled, observing the battle via a really big TV screen. He sighed and shook his head. "Good help is so hard to find these days. Impossible, actually."
Suddenly, the Poke-Megazord began to move.
"Finally, something interesting appears to be happening. Maybe now it'll accidentally walk into some of the lasers or something. And what the heck has my Pokemon army been doing this whole time??!"
Actually, the Pokemon army was busy fighting amongst itself. You see, when the army finally assembled, there was this one Gengar and this one Alakazam who were too busy talking to pay any attention to the giant robot in front of them. Gengar was busy daring Alakazam to bend it's spoons around like little balloon animals and make a lifelike Magikarp so this Pidgeotto it was the rival of would think they were a Magikarp dinner and try to eat the twisted spoons, causing it to cause itself permanent injury. Alakazam was emotionally attached to it's spoons, not to mention an Alakazam without spoons is a lot like somebody not wearing clothes to Alakazams and Alakazam didn't want the other Alakazams to laugh at it. Gengar kept bugging Alakazam until Alakazam got really mad and blasted Gengar with a Psybeam. Gengar retaliated with it's own Psybeam but missed Alakazam and hit a nearby Syther, making it really mad. It rallied a bunch of it's friends and attacked Gengar, causing Gengar's friends to retaliate and no sooner could you say "gotta catch em all" than an all-out brawl had broken out. The trainers tried to stop their Pokemon, but since all their Pokemon were stolen none of them felt any desire to obey their trainers.
Suddenly, the megazord leveled both of it's hands at TRHQ. Giovanni looked on in utter horror as flames blasted out of the right one and dense sound waves like Misty's scream shot out of the left. Electricity blasted out of it's sword, razor leafs suddenly shot into action from *somewhere* behind the giant megazord, and two of the hexagons of Squirtle-zord's shell suddenly burst open like trapdoors, revealing a set of water cannons. With all these attacks combined, suddenly TRHQ didn't look all that big and powerful. As a matter of fact, after the attacks hit it didn't look like much at all. The Rockets and their Pokemon scattered as the massive building vaporized.
Giovanni looked disgruntled.
"Who the (censored) (censored) are those people?! And where did they get those robots?!"
"Alright! Another force of evil utterly destroyed and brought to it's knees thanks to..." Red exclaimed.
"The Might Morphin' Poke-Rangers!" All five multi-colored heroes cheered at once, with Misty somewhere in the background.
"That wasn't half as exciting as I thought it would be." Ash muttered, then suddenly looked out the window. "Hey, it looks like there's a mob of people down there with signs and stuff."
"Probably just more of our adoring fans." Red stated. "Rangers, let's go down there and do the autograph thing!"
"Cool! Maybe they brought us something to eat; I'm starving." Blue stated.
"Better not be any nuts." Green stated, giving Red a look.
"Don't you even start, you two." Pink warned. "We can't let our fans see you acting like this or the BOPWDLFS'll be all over us in no time."
"The who?" Ash inquired.
"The Board Of Parents Who Don't Like Fighting Shows." Misty exclaimed. "Poke-Rangers enemy #1."
Leaping down from high off the top of the Megazord, (which has to be at least a mile or more high,) the Poke-Rangers were suddenly met by, not fans but-
"Hey, who are all these people?" Blue asked. "They don't look like adoring fans."
"And what's that written on those signs they're carrying?" Pink inquired.
"I think it says... 'down with Poke-Rangers'." Green replied calmly, then did a doubletake. " 'Down with Poke-Rangers'?! Who are these people!"
While the Rangers tried to figure things out in the midst of a riotous crowd of unruly rioters, Ash and Co. had taken the elevator down and now rushed into the swarming, angry, chanting masses to find-
"Brock?!" Ash and Misty exclaimed suddenly.
"Um, [he he], hi guys." Brock said nervously as the swarm held him high on their shoulders.
"Brock, what are you doing? Who are all these people?!" Misty exclaimed.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean too! It just all happened too fast! I couldn't stop them!" Brock exclaimed trying to get to the ground.
"What are you talking about?? What have you done??" Misty exclaimed again.
Make a long story short, when Brock went out to find a Poke-Rangers haters group, he actually came across the biggest anti-Rangers group ever known to man. When they found him trying to get into their secret, well hidden hideout, they forced him to tell them what he was doing coming there. Under threat of the death of his Pokemon and later the promise of pretty girls, Brock had told them everything. All about the Poke-Rangers suddenly showing up, all about them being real. At first they didn't believe him and were about to resort to tickle torture to get the truth out of him, until the news started playing off a list of alleged Poke-Ranger sightings in Viridian. At that point, Brock became the unofficial leader of the anti-Ranger brigade for 'heroically taking a stand against the evil that calls itself Poke-Rangers'. He was about to decline when he got his first good look at Saamoni, the very-attractive very-dangerous leader of the Anti-Ranger International Resistance League, his partner if he accepted the job to 'lead the anti-Ranger brigade against the evil ones in bad costumes'. At that point adrenalin he'd been using to try to escape was overpowered by a sudden rush of mind-warping hormones and...
"... As they say, the rest is history." Brock stated, still trying to get down.
"You're about to be history, you sell-out!" Misty screamed.
"You mean... these people aren't our fans?" Green inquired, stunned.
"Death to the evil rangers!" Someone in the crowd shouted.
"Wait a minute! I think I understand..." Yellow stated, fingers pressed to her temples as if she was meditating or using tela-pathetic powers or something. "I... I think... it's coming to me slowly..."
"They're freakin' haters!" Green exclaimed.
"Haters, here? I thought they only existed in the dark universe where all the villains and bad guys come from!" Blue exclaimed.
"...You know what this means, don't you?" Pink stated mysteriously.
With that, all five of them back flipped all the way back up to the top of their megazord, landing with impossible perfection on the top of the Poke-megazord's head. Way down below, the rioters began throwing rotten tomatoes and eggs at the megazord, their throws barely reaching it's ankles.
"Fear not, Poke-Rangers fans! We, the MIGHTY MORPHIN POKE-RANGERS promise to cleanse planet earth from all that thinks that we, the Poke-Rangers, are evil! Starting with this mob of disgruntled people who have nothing better to do that mock the creativity of others made into a TV show!" Red stated.
"You're nothin' but a bunch of (censored)s!" Somebody in the crowd screamed.
"Yeah! Down with Poke-Rangers!"
"It's all an evil plot to brainwash Pokemon trainers and take over the earth, and this proves it!" An old guy in the crowd shouted through a megaphone, pointing at the towering megazord.
Misty fixed Brock with a cold glare.
"Brock, I highly recommend you go apologize to the Poke-Rangers... BEFORE THEY DESTROY EVERYTHING!! They're capable of that, you know."
"I'm thinking somebody made the Poke-Rangers just a *little* bit too powerful." Ash stated.
"He's not apologizing to any (censored) Ranger-freaks." Saamoni stated, pulling Brock to her side. "He's gonna help us destroy the evil ones in bad costumes from Bandi, before they even get the chance to do any damage."
"Don't look now, but I think you're too late!" Ash shouted, grabbing Pikachu and running for his life as a pair of huge water blasts and a surge of electricity shot into the midst of the mob.
Our heroes managed to escape the Poke-Rangers alive, getting Saamoni and what remained of her anti-Ranger league out of there as fast as possible. They made their way to the A.R.I.R.L.'s underground hideout as fast as possible, managing to hide from the Rangers for a time.
"In other news," the anchorman stated that night as what remained of ARIRL gathered around the TV. "The world is in outrage at the attack of the once-thought-fictional Poke-Rangers on a group of protesting civilians out for blood. We take you now to Mark Marcus at the PUN."
"Uh oh. This looks bad." Misty stated.
(PUN stands for Pokemon United Nations... DUH! Which stands for 'if you couldn't figure that out, you're not really using your grey matter!)
"We will not rest until the Poke-Rangers are eliminated as a threat to our fast approaching one-world government." Shouted a Chinese ambassador just before the camera switched to Mark Marcus.
"That has been the general synopsis today at the PUN as, for the first time in known history, every nation on earth has come to agreement on a single topic: the Poke-Rangers must go. The PUN has been getting together some of the most powerful forces in the known world to attempt to combat the threat that, even as we speak, walks unopposed in the areas surrounding Viridian city. At present, gym leaders from all around the known world are converging on the last known location of the Poke-Rangers..."
Chapter 4- Rangers Vs. Gym Leaders
"They're close..." Surge stated. "My soldier's instinct tells me so."
"Um, excuse me, but DUH they're close." Daisy stated. "All we have to do is follow the giant footprints and we're bound to find them eventually."
"It doesn't take a psychic to figure that out, Surge." Sabrina stated coldly.
The army of gym leaders, divided into different groups according upon where they came from, continued their trek with much grumbling and mumbling. The Cerulean sisters, Erica and her trainers, Surge and his, Koga and all his ninja trainers, Sabrina and her psychics, and Blaine had all assembled at form the first attack group. The gym leaders from all the other places would show up... whenever.
Suddenly, the group spotted their target far off in the distance. A few dozen feet away, actually.
"Good thing we have the element of surprise on our side." Surge stated.
Suddenly, the megazord began to move.
"Don't tell me you think Poke-Rangers don't watch the news!" Shouted Red's voice from somewhere in the megazord.
"Quick Sabrina! Use your psychic weird powers on that thing!" Koga shouted.
Sabrina leveled him with a cold look.
"Wait, let me get this straight. You expect me to be able to lift that thing, with my mind, and throw it?"
"Well, that was the plan." Violet stated.
"Um, no." Sabrina stated. "Sorry, but that's next to impossible."
"We'll just have to use our Pokemon, then." Surge shouted. "Raichu! Electrode! Magneton! Electrabuzz! Go!"
The other gym leaders, except Sabrina, all sent out their Pokemon as well. Sabrina and her trainers simply turned to go.
"Hey, what do you think you're doin'?" Surge exclaimed.
"This is stupid." Sabrina stated. "I see failure in your future."
With that, she and her Psychics teleported away into the night.
"I'm counting... at least 200 Pokemon, varingly high levels." Pink stated. "Oh, look! A Jigglypuff!"
"200, huh?" Red thought this over for a minute. "Shouldn't be a challenge."
"Can we leave the Jigglypuff??" Pink pleaded.
"OK..." Red sighed. "I'll teleport it out of the way."
With that, a single pink blur of energy shot skyward and vanished with a little twinkle.
"It's so convenient, not having to follow any set rules of science." Blue stated.
"How true. Now, what can we do to make this fun?" Red inquired.
"We could try destroying them one gym at a time." Green proposed as the coffee maker bleeped. "Coffee's ready! Anybody want some?"
"Moca-Java, a Ranger's best friend." Red stated, taking off his helmet and taking a sip.
"We could... pick them up and see how high we can throw them." Blue offered.
"I could sing them to sleep and then we could write 'the Poke-Rangers were here' on all their foreheads in permanent marker." Pink proposed.
"Nah; that could take all night." Yellow stated as a barrage of attacks began to hit them, causing their cockpit to rumble like as if an earthquake had started underneath them. "Wise old Chinese proverb say 'when in doubt, evolve it'."
"Ok, stage two megazord it is." Red said as a boulder as big as Nevada bounced harmlessly off the cockpit's sole window / the megazord's eyes. He put his cup into a nearby cup holder and put his helmet back on. "Hang onto your coffee, cuz' her we go."
"Why do you think they are just standing there, do you think?" Koga's sister inquired.
"Because our attacks are bouncing harmlessly off them?" Daisy offered.
"Because they're asleep?" Surge shrugged. "I dunno. Let's just do our best to trash em' while we have such good fortune."
Suddenly, the Poke-megazord began to glow.
"I believe the reason they have hesitated is because they are evolving." Koga stated the near-obvious.
The different pieces of the megazord dis-assembled as the glow got brighter, then with a sudden flash of light all grew into their next forms. Pichu-zord became Pikachu-zord, Puff-zord became Jigglypuff-zord, Charmander-Zord became Charmeleon-Zord, and so on and so forth. (If anyone out there wants to spend their time doing fanart for this fic, could you draw me the different megazords and stuff?) Reassembling, the Poke-Megazord looked pretty much the same, except for the following alterations: The sword got even bigger, the legs began to resemble an undergrown flower split apart, the face on the helmet looked really high-tech, the arms got buffer (or in some cases, 'Puffer'), and the whole thing just looked bigger and badder and twice as powerful.
"Ok, now what?" Pink inquired.
"Let's use mecha-Vinewhip attack." Green stated.
"Or how about blasting them with super-Bubblebeam?" Blue proposed.
"Thundercannon!" Yellow put in her suggestion.
"Seismic-Bodyslam!" Pink exclaimed.
"Under normal conditions, I'd be tempted to use all of the above, but I have a better idea." Red stated.
"You, have an idea? Amazing!" Green mocked.
"Shut up, you jerk. I'd say meaner things to you, but Poke-Rangers is rated for ages 5-12 and I don't want to cause our audience any discomfort."
"Oh, that makes a lot of sense." Green mocked. "Hello! We're not in our universe anymore! We aren't *on* TV; and we don't *have* a 5-12 audience. As Shakespeare wrote: 'the earth is our stage, the world our audience, so the show must go on'."
"I couldn't agree more." Red stated, throttling the controls forward.
"What are you gonna do?" Yellow inquired.
"What else: Apocalptic-Firepunch!"
The giant titan megazord slammed it's right fist into the ground, sending up geysers of rock and fire towards the large band of gym trainers.
Suddenly, Sabrina and her Psychics reappeared.
"Sabrina! Quick, do something!" Surge screamed, crying like a baby as the huge pieces of flaming stone neared impact.
"It's nice to feel needed." She stated, just before teleporting the whole army to safety a mile away.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I must regrettably inform you that the task force of gym leaders was overpowered and forced to retreat against the terror of the Poke-Rangers." The news guy stated.
"This is bad." Saamoni stated. "What happens if they manage to defeat everybody?"
"They'll do bad nasty things to whatever remains of humanity." Brock stated, staring at the TV. "Probably make everyone left watch their show and join their fanclubs before moving on to the next universe."
"Aaahhh! That's a nightmare!" She exclaimed. "This is worse than that time Bill Gates tried to buy the US!"
"Hey, I don't think it would be so bad." Misty stated. Saamoni glowered at her fiercely, on the verge of calling her a traitor.
"There's only a few things I can think of strong enough to defeat the Poke-Rangers." Ash stated, standing up. "Misty, you stay here and use your knowledge of the Poke-Rangers to try to find a way to stop them."
"Where are you going, Ash?"
"That's my secret." Ash smirked. "Don't worry, I'll bring back help!"
"That... was... close..." Surge stated, catching his breath.
"You're lucky we had enough energy to get the whole army out of there." Sabrina stated. "A few more seconds and there'd be nothing left of you except a puddle of Surge soda."
Suddenly, a giant metal Pokeball flew through the skies overhead, it's loud speakers conveniently illuminated.
"I had a feeling you punks had no clue how to handle a situation like this." Giovanni stated, his voice blaring out of the speakers. "You'd better let a REAL destruction-minded supervillain handle this."
(To Be Continued...!)
By Ryan Edgerton
Chapter1- In the Beginning...
Brock woke up in a grumpy mood that morning. He'd found himself getting up grumpy a lot lately. Being rejected by a girl every episode or so had that kind of effect on him. As per usual he made breakfast while Ash, Misty, Pikachu, and Togepi slept. They'd rented a hotel room in some place called Sericia City, just one of the many non-descript cities their trio had passed through since starting their journeys. The eggs and tofu were almost done cooking when Brock suddenly heard a sound from Misty's room...
Since it sounded strangely unlike somebody sleeping with a Togepi in their arms, Brock decided to check in on it. At first, he simply stood at the door and listened. No, the sound definitely wasn't that of sleeping, nor of somebody getting dressed or too many other sounds he'd normally associate with this time of morning. It sounded like... one of those really cheesy karate movies with laser guns and big robots thrown in. Since he didn't think Misty watched that kind of stuff, he decided to check in on her discreetly.
"You've got to be kidding me!" Brock exclaimed as he got a good look at what Misty was watching. Misty immediately freaked out and darted across the room to turn off the TV, but not before Brock was halfway to Ash and Pikachu's room, laughing like a madman. "Ash! Come quick! You gotta see this!"
"Wwhhaaa..." Ash inquired sleepily as Brock burst into his room. Pikachu rubbed the sleep out of it's eyes as Ash slowly sat up. "What's the fuss for, Brock? Is Team Rocket at it again?"
"Ash, you're not gonna believe what I just saw Misty watching!" Brock stated, still laughing so bad his side hurt. Ash and Pikachu exchanged a 'why should we care' look.
"Brock, next time you find something on TV funny, tell me after I'm awake, not before."
At that moment, Misty came rushing into the room, panic stricken.
"Ash, whatever you do, don't listen to a word Brock says!"
Now Ash was semi-interested in what was going on. In most cases, if it was embarrassing to Misty, he found it funny, and there were few exceptions to that rule.
"Ooohh, I understand..." Brock said, a mischievous grin overtaking him. "... Misty doesn't want anybody to know she watches-"
"Just one word and I'll sick my Staryu on you!" Misty threatened.
"Watches what, Brock?" Ash inquired, now very interested.
"Don't you dare, Brock!" Misty shouted, a Pokeball already in her hands and aimed squarely at Brock's face.
"Misty watches... the Mighty Morphin' Poke-Rangers!" Brock blurted out before collapsing, holding his side in laughter. Ash and Pikachu gave Misty a blank look for a second, then exploded into laughter. Misty's whole face got red with blush as Ash, Brock, and Pikachu's laugh fest continued. Togepi wandered aimlessly into the room, looked everybody but Misty laughing, and decided to start laughing itself. Misty gave Togepi a 'not you too' look, then fell to her knees in defeat and put Staryu's Pokeball away.
"I wish the Poke-Rangers were real, so they could beat you up, Brock! Then you wouldn't be laughing!" Misty screamed, causing all laughter to cease and the room's sole window to break into small pieces.
Brock looked blankly at Misty for a second before his macho, masculine pride activated.
"Yeah, well, even if they were real, I bet I'm so good a trainer I could kick all their butts, *with* or without their giant robo-thingies."
"Poke-Zords! They're called Poke-Zords!" Misty corrected.
Ash, Brock, and Pikachu fell back into fits of laughter. Misty walked out of the room, discouraged and a little ashamed, but mostly peeved at Brock and Ash.
Togepi, ignorant of everything, just kept on laughing.
"Prepare for lots of trouble!"
"You'd better make it double!"
On the road once more, Ash and Co. all gave Team Rocket the 'oh please, not again!' look as Jessie and James continued their ever-so repetitive motto, finishing with the usual "Meeowth! Dat's right!"
" 'Dat's' dumb." Ash replied. "Don't you two ever give up?"
"Of course not; it's against the unwritten laws of the space/time/anime continuum." James replied.
"Now hand over da Pikachu or dings get ugly!" Meowth threatened.
"Not while we're on duty!" Said about five or so unidentified voices out of nowhere, some feminine, some masculine. As if on instinct Team Rocket turned to look behind them, then expressions of extreme surprise came over them as five multi-colored figures in ridiculous karate stances suddenly teleported onto the scene.
"It's-it's-it's-it's-!" Was all Misty could exclaim as she was on the verge of fainting.
The lead of the team stepped forward.
"Are you three members of Team Rocket?" The red-clad fighter asked. His black visor that covered most of his helmet was shaped like a wide flame.
"Nonononononono" Jessie and James exclaimed, shaking their heads fervently.
"The bad guys always lie." The blue-suited figure, who's visor was shaped very much like a Squirtle's shell, stated.
"Besides, they're wearing Team Rocket uniforms." The green one stated, who's visor was shaped, you guessed it, like a bulb.
"Are these three giving you kids trouble?" The female yellow fighter inquired, her visor shaped like a stretched out lightning bolt.
"T-t-ttt-trouble?" James sputtered as if holding in some kind of urge.
"Did she just say *trouble*??" Jessie's expression looked very similar to James's.
"No! No! Don't say it!" Meowth pleaded, but he was too late.
"Prepare your multi-colored selves for TROUBLE!"
"And you'd better make it a Bandi-Karate DOUBLE!"
"Yep, I thought so." Said the pink fighter, who's visor looked disturbingly like a Jigglypuff's hair puff. "Team Rocket members, alright."
"Let's show em' what trouble is." The leader exclaimed. "Poke-Rangers, power up!"
"You've got to be kidding me." Ash exclaimed as the five fighters rushed towards TR shouting Karate-style.
"Arbok! Likatung! Go!" Jessie screamed in panic.
"Weesing! Victreebell! Protect me!" James screamed like a girl.
"Get me outta here!" Meowth exclaimed.
Within a few minutes of way overdone karate combat, TR was effectively defeated. The trio of bad deeds dashed off into the forests, deciding to get lost while the getting was good, leaving the heroes to talk with the five... strange rescuers.
"You kids OK?" Pink asked.
Suddenly, Misty squealed in the way only a devout fan can, and rushed up to all of her heroes talking faster than any human being could comprehend.
Ash and Brock simply starred.
"You've gotta be kidding me..." Was all Brock could say.
Chapter 2- Poke-Rangers in Need
OK, to save time with all the unimportant info about the 'Mighty' Morphin' Poke-People, I will now simply compile everything you'll ever need to know about them individually into a disgustingly long paragraph. I dare you to say all this in one breath. Red Ranger is named Marco, Blue is Bruce, Green is Reno, Yellow is Kiana-wastuashi-deep-fried-noodles-on-rice, Kwdfnor for short (don't bother trying to pronounce it, you'll never do it right), and Pink is named Peach. By now it's obvious what Pokemon all their powers are based off. Misty has a crush on Red and Blue, but thinks Green needs to shave badly. Brock was quick to ask Yellow and Pink to go out on a date with him, and they were about to say 'yes' when Misty informed the Rangers that Brock thought he was so good a trainer he could beat all of them hands down. Of course, that earned Brock a beating as the Rangers karate-ed the crud outta him until he screamed 'uncle' and agreed to say 'Poke-Rangers rock' fifty times without stopping. The reason the Rangers were in Poke-world instead of their own universe was that they'd finally managed to defeat all the bad guys in their own universe, and were hoping that they'd be able to find some bad guys in other universes to occupy their time.
"Well . . . " Ash thought out loud. ". . . maybe you could take out Team Rocket headquarters. That sure would help."
"Any idea where their headquarters is located?" Green inquired.
"Um, I dunno. Giovanni had a gym in Viridian city; maybe Team Rocket headquarters is located somewhere around there."
"Thanks. We should be able to take it from here." Red said as the group turned to go.
"Wait!" Misty cried. "Take me with you!"
"Uh... OK."
"Hey Misty! Wait for us!" Ash shouted, running after her.
"You leave me outta this." Brock mumbled as he simply stood there, watching them vanish. "I'm gonna go get in touch with a Poke-Rangers haters group."
The Poke-Rangers, on their way to Viridian, managed to run across Cassidy and Butch. After the motto and an overblown fight sequence, the Poke-Rangers managed to take Cassidy and Butch hostage until they'd agree to tell where HQ was located.
"We'll never talk!" Cassidy shouted defiantly.
"Wanna bet?" Pink said, turning to Red. "I think I know how we can get them to squeal."
"I was thinking the same thing, Peach." Red suddenly held his fist up high in the air. "Charmander-zord!"
"Squirtle-zord!"
"Bulbasaur-zord!"
"Pichu-zord!"
"Puff-zord!"
"And... your little reciting show is supposed to scare us?" Butch inquired, mere seconds before a terrible earthquake shook the ground. Cassidy, Butch, Ash, Misty, and Pikachu immediately looked in the direction of the quake.
Tall as skyscrapers, metal as a Magnemite, and dangerous as a Mewtwo, five giant robots that looked a lot like Pokemon suddenly arrived on the scene.
Here's a basic description of the Poke-zords. They basically look like Pokemon, but with a few small alterations. Squirtle-zord doesn't have a tail, Bulbasaur-zord doesn't walk on legs but instead tank treads, Pichu-zord and Puff-zord basically look like the baby versions of Pikachu and Jigglypuff from GS, and Charmander-zord's tail flame is basically just painted metal interlaced with small flamethrowers to make it look vaguely realistic.
"Ready to talk yet?" Green inquired.
"It's so much fun having giant robotic Poke-Zords available whenever and wherever you need them." Blue stated.
"Now, we can do this one of six ways..." Red stated, glaring at Cassidy and Butch. "Burned, drenched, leafed, electrocuted, blasted by supersonic waves-"
"OK! OK! WE'LL TALK!" Butch exclaimed.
"Out of curiosity, what was number six?" Ash inquired.
"Poke-Megazord mode." Red stated. "Wanna see?"
"He loves showing off." Green stated.
"Hey, you dissing me?" Red challenged.
"No, just stating the facts."
"Red and Green are always at it whenever the world isn't in immediate danger." Misty whispered to Ash. "The first time they got like this was episode 6, then again in 8, 9, all the way through till 16, then 19, 22, 26, 27, 35, 37-126, and they almost resolved their differences in episode226, but then they started fighting over a banana milkshake from episode 7, and it's never been resolved since. But Marco's always right." She stated, stars in her eyes as she looked at Red.
"Oh, gimme a break." Ash muttered.
"Chu." Pikachu agreed.
Butch finally divulged the location of Team Rocket's headquarters, and, leaving Cassidy and Butch tied to a tree, the Poke-Rangers and our present group of regular heroes set out towards TRHQ in the Poke-Rangers Poke-Zords.
"This is the only way to travel!" Misty exclaimed as she stuck her head out the window of Squirtle-zord. "I'll be the envy of Poke-ranger fans forever!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever Misty." Ash muttered.
"Out of curiosity, do you two have a thing for each other?" Blue asked.
"Me, like him/her?! Not a chance!" Misty and Ash exclaimed at the same time.
"I only like men in armor." Misty stated, putting her hands around Blue and her head on his shoulder. She sighed dreamily.
"Um, I'm trying to drive here." Blue stated, but Misty ignored him.
At that exact moment, you could see Ash's heart break into a million little pieces.
"Sir!" Came a loud voice over the intercom.
"Leave me alone, I'm busy." Giovanni stated, a game of NeoHyperDeathPong2000Alpha3 visible on his laptop.
"But sir-!"
"I said I'm busy! Go away!"
"Sir, look out your window!"
"You're fired! Never interrupt me like this again!" He pushed the mute button on his intercom system and turned back to his laptop. "Fools. How am I ever supposed to dominate the world with such half-pixel idiots on my staff. Probably spend all day watching a bouncing ball instead of stealing Pokemon, no good lousy-"
At that moment, a sound like giant footsteps was heard that shook Giovanni's office. He rushed out to the window, only to see five giant Poke-zords headed his way. He rubbed his eyes, then reached for the intercom. "Hey you! Get back to work! Why didn't you tell me there were giant robots on the way here?! I should fire you!"
"You did fire me, sir, and I did try to warn you, but you wouldn't-"
"Never mind that now, you dolt! Activate red alert mode! Get my army ready for action! Battle stations!"
"Why should I? You fired me."
"Do it, or I'll fire you again!"
"Oooh, I'm really scared now."
"Well,... you're hired! Now sound the alert system!"
"Can I have a raise?"
"WHAT?!"
"I won't come back to work without a raise."
"You... YOU'RE FIRED!"
"I know... your point was?"
"JUST DO IT OR I'LL SICK MY MACHAMP ON YOU!!!" Giovanni threatened.
With that, TRHQ suddenly went into mega-super-hyper-battle-mode. Laser cannons appeared all over the surface of the huge but discrete building, a large army of Pokemon and TR members began forming outside, and Giovanni's office suddenly turned into a huge steel Pokeball-shaped orb and flew off to safety.
"Poke-rangers, let's do it!" Red stated.
"You mean..." Blue inquired.
"You betcha. It's that time again."
"Time to tell kids the moral of today's story?" Green inquired.
"No, not that time yet, you idiot!" Red replied.
"Ooohh, you mean Poke-Megazord mode1 time." Green stated.
"Duh!" Yellow stated. "Wise old proverb say 'him who know not think not'."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Green retaliated.
"It means you're an idiot to be fighting over a banana milkshake from six years ago. Duh!"
"Hey, I can't help it if I'm allergic to nuts. Marco put nuts on my milkshake just to spite me, and I can prove it, too!"
"Read my lips, dweebazoid! Ernie from the juicebar did it, not me!" Red retorted.
"You mean that fat guy who got replaced by the police cop in the third part of the series?" Pink inquired. "He was cute!"
"Um, how exactly are you talking to each other?" Ash inquired.
"It's a Poke-Rangers thing. Just don't ask." Blue stated.
"Can we forget about the milkshake and focus on utterly destroying the bad guys? They've kinda started firing at us already." Yellow stated.
"Don't blame me, it's Marco's fault." Green replied.
"It's Ernie's fault!" Red retorted.
At that moment, a sudden laser beam struck Charmader-zord, bouncing harmlessly off with the exception of a small, one millimeter scratch on the upper chest armor.
"You... you... you BARBARIANS!!" Red exclaimed. "Do you have and IDEA how long it takes to PAINT these things!?!! That's it, now you feel Poke-Ranger wrath! Poke-Megazord mode1 mode, now! Engage transformation sequence!"
"Blue Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
"Green Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
"Yellow Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
"Pink Ranger, engaging transformer servos,... Now!"
With that, Pichu-zord suddenly became the head and it's rather small tail came off, Squirtle-Zord became the chest with it's shell facing forward, it's head and limbs tucked inside the shell. Bulbasaur-zord split in half, each half becoming a leg and foot combo, Charmander-Zord folded into the right arm, and Puff-zord became the other arm. Pichu-zord's tail suddenly went light-saber, becoming a really stinkin big sword. A weird-looking helmet-type thingy folded up from inside Squirtle-Zord's shell and went over Pichu-zord's head like a visor or motorcycle helmet or something, and with a sudden lightning bolt and cruddy action music, the transformation sequence completed.
Suddenly, with no logical explanation, all the rangers were suddenly in one much bigger, command-room-like cockpit center. Each sat in a chair around the forward and side controls, Red in the middle with Yellow and Blue sitting next to him, Yellow on his right and Blue on his left, and past them was Green on the far right and Pink on the far left. Green manned the coffee maker as Red took control of weapons.
"Now they're gonna pay!" Red exclaimed.
"Should we use the Mega-Sword on them? That's usually how we finish off all our menacing opponents." Pink stated.
"Are you kidding? Let them die quick and painlessly? Where's the entertainment in that?! We've got to make it look like we're struggling to win or we'll lose ratings."
"And that could mean..." Blue shuddered.
"What? What would losing your ratings mean?" Misty inquired.
"It could mean the greatest evil of all..." Pink stated.
"A cut in our salaries!" Green exclaimed.
"So,... what are you gonna do?" Ash inquired.
The rangers looked at each other for a minute as badly aimed laser beams continued to miss their titanically large Megazord.
"We'll use... our 'other weapons' mode!" Red exclaimed, pushing a button conveniently labeled 'other weapons mode' right in front of him. "Ready the flamethrower! Lock and load the leaf cannon! Charge the thunder shock array! Prepare the supersonic destroyer system! Activate our super soaker!"
"Um, Marco?" Green said.
"What?"
"You just did."
"Shut up; I know that. I just had to say it to sound dramatic."
Chapter 3- Weapons of Mass Destruction
"Those idiots! Why can't they hit the stupid robot-thingy! It's just been standing there for a half an hour and they've only scored one lousy hit on it!" Giovanni mumbled, observing the battle via a really big TV screen. He sighed and shook his head. "Good help is so hard to find these days. Impossible, actually."
Suddenly, the Poke-Megazord began to move.
"Finally, something interesting appears to be happening. Maybe now it'll accidentally walk into some of the lasers or something. And what the heck has my Pokemon army been doing this whole time??!"
Actually, the Pokemon army was busy fighting amongst itself. You see, when the army finally assembled, there was this one Gengar and this one Alakazam who were too busy talking to pay any attention to the giant robot in front of them. Gengar was busy daring Alakazam to bend it's spoons around like little balloon animals and make a lifelike Magikarp so this Pidgeotto it was the rival of would think they were a Magikarp dinner and try to eat the twisted spoons, causing it to cause itself permanent injury. Alakazam was emotionally attached to it's spoons, not to mention an Alakazam without spoons is a lot like somebody not wearing clothes to Alakazams and Alakazam didn't want the other Alakazams to laugh at it. Gengar kept bugging Alakazam until Alakazam got really mad and blasted Gengar with a Psybeam. Gengar retaliated with it's own Psybeam but missed Alakazam and hit a nearby Syther, making it really mad. It rallied a bunch of it's friends and attacked Gengar, causing Gengar's friends to retaliate and no sooner could you say "gotta catch em all" than an all-out brawl had broken out. The trainers tried to stop their Pokemon, but since all their Pokemon were stolen none of them felt any desire to obey their trainers.
Suddenly, the megazord leveled both of it's hands at TRHQ. Giovanni looked on in utter horror as flames blasted out of the right one and dense sound waves like Misty's scream shot out of the left. Electricity blasted out of it's sword, razor leafs suddenly shot into action from *somewhere* behind the giant megazord, and two of the hexagons of Squirtle-zord's shell suddenly burst open like trapdoors, revealing a set of water cannons. With all these attacks combined, suddenly TRHQ didn't look all that big and powerful. As a matter of fact, after the attacks hit it didn't look like much at all. The Rockets and their Pokemon scattered as the massive building vaporized.
Giovanni looked disgruntled.
"Who the (censored) (censored) are those people?! And where did they get those robots?!"
"Alright! Another force of evil utterly destroyed and brought to it's knees thanks to..." Red exclaimed.
"The Might Morphin' Poke-Rangers!" All five multi-colored heroes cheered at once, with Misty somewhere in the background.
"That wasn't half as exciting as I thought it would be." Ash muttered, then suddenly looked out the window. "Hey, it looks like there's a mob of people down there with signs and stuff."
"Probably just more of our adoring fans." Red stated. "Rangers, let's go down there and do the autograph thing!"
"Cool! Maybe they brought us something to eat; I'm starving." Blue stated.
"Better not be any nuts." Green stated, giving Red a look.
"Don't you even start, you two." Pink warned. "We can't let our fans see you acting like this or the BOPWDLFS'll be all over us in no time."
"The who?" Ash inquired.
"The Board Of Parents Who Don't Like Fighting Shows." Misty exclaimed. "Poke-Rangers enemy #1."
Leaping down from high off the top of the Megazord, (which has to be at least a mile or more high,) the Poke-Rangers were suddenly met by, not fans but-
"Hey, who are all these people?" Blue asked. "They don't look like adoring fans."
"And what's that written on those signs they're carrying?" Pink inquired.
"I think it says... 'down with Poke-Rangers'." Green replied calmly, then did a doubletake. " 'Down with Poke-Rangers'?! Who are these people!"
While the Rangers tried to figure things out in the midst of a riotous crowd of unruly rioters, Ash and Co. had taken the elevator down and now rushed into the swarming, angry, chanting masses to find-
"Brock?!" Ash and Misty exclaimed suddenly.
"Um, [he he], hi guys." Brock said nervously as the swarm held him high on their shoulders.
"Brock, what are you doing? Who are all these people?!" Misty exclaimed.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean too! It just all happened too fast! I couldn't stop them!" Brock exclaimed trying to get to the ground.
"What are you talking about?? What have you done??" Misty exclaimed again.
Make a long story short, when Brock went out to find a Poke-Rangers haters group, he actually came across the biggest anti-Rangers group ever known to man. When they found him trying to get into their secret, well hidden hideout, they forced him to tell them what he was doing coming there. Under threat of the death of his Pokemon and later the promise of pretty girls, Brock had told them everything. All about the Poke-Rangers suddenly showing up, all about them being real. At first they didn't believe him and were about to resort to tickle torture to get the truth out of him, until the news started playing off a list of alleged Poke-Ranger sightings in Viridian. At that point, Brock became the unofficial leader of the anti-Ranger brigade for 'heroically taking a stand against the evil that calls itself Poke-Rangers'. He was about to decline when he got his first good look at Saamoni, the very-attractive very-dangerous leader of the Anti-Ranger International Resistance League, his partner if he accepted the job to 'lead the anti-Ranger brigade against the evil ones in bad costumes'. At that point adrenalin he'd been using to try to escape was overpowered by a sudden rush of mind-warping hormones and...
"... As they say, the rest is history." Brock stated, still trying to get down.
"You're about to be history, you sell-out!" Misty screamed.
"You mean... these people aren't our fans?" Green inquired, stunned.
"Death to the evil rangers!" Someone in the crowd shouted.
"Wait a minute! I think I understand..." Yellow stated, fingers pressed to her temples as if she was meditating or using tela-pathetic powers or something. "I... I think... it's coming to me slowly..."
"They're freakin' haters!" Green exclaimed.
"Haters, here? I thought they only existed in the dark universe where all the villains and bad guys come from!" Blue exclaimed.
"...You know what this means, don't you?" Pink stated mysteriously.
With that, all five of them back flipped all the way back up to the top of their megazord, landing with impossible perfection on the top of the Poke-megazord's head. Way down below, the rioters began throwing rotten tomatoes and eggs at the megazord, their throws barely reaching it's ankles.
"Fear not, Poke-Rangers fans! We, the MIGHTY MORPHIN POKE-RANGERS promise to cleanse planet earth from all that thinks that we, the Poke-Rangers, are evil! Starting with this mob of disgruntled people who have nothing better to do that mock the creativity of others made into a TV show!" Red stated.
"You're nothin' but a bunch of (censored)s!" Somebody in the crowd screamed.
"Yeah! Down with Poke-Rangers!"
"It's all an evil plot to brainwash Pokemon trainers and take over the earth, and this proves it!" An old guy in the crowd shouted through a megaphone, pointing at the towering megazord.
Misty fixed Brock with a cold glare.
"Brock, I highly recommend you go apologize to the Poke-Rangers... BEFORE THEY DESTROY EVERYTHING!! They're capable of that, you know."
"I'm thinking somebody made the Poke-Rangers just a *little* bit too powerful." Ash stated.
"He's not apologizing to any (censored) Ranger-freaks." Saamoni stated, pulling Brock to her side. "He's gonna help us destroy the evil ones in bad costumes from Bandi, before they even get the chance to do any damage."
"Don't look now, but I think you're too late!" Ash shouted, grabbing Pikachu and running for his life as a pair of huge water blasts and a surge of electricity shot into the midst of the mob.
Our heroes managed to escape the Poke-Rangers alive, getting Saamoni and what remained of her anti-Ranger league out of there as fast as possible. They made their way to the A.R.I.R.L.'s underground hideout as fast as possible, managing to hide from the Rangers for a time.
"In other news," the anchorman stated that night as what remained of ARIRL gathered around the TV. "The world is in outrage at the attack of the once-thought-fictional Poke-Rangers on a group of protesting civilians out for blood. We take you now to Mark Marcus at the PUN."
"Uh oh. This looks bad." Misty stated.
(PUN stands for Pokemon United Nations... DUH! Which stands for 'if you couldn't figure that out, you're not really using your grey matter!)
"We will not rest until the Poke-Rangers are eliminated as a threat to our fast approaching one-world government." Shouted a Chinese ambassador just before the camera switched to Mark Marcus.
"That has been the general synopsis today at the PUN as, for the first time in known history, every nation on earth has come to agreement on a single topic: the Poke-Rangers must go. The PUN has been getting together some of the most powerful forces in the known world to attempt to combat the threat that, even as we speak, walks unopposed in the areas surrounding Viridian city. At present, gym leaders from all around the known world are converging on the last known location of the Poke-Rangers..."
Chapter 4- Rangers Vs. Gym Leaders
"They're close..." Surge stated. "My soldier's instinct tells me so."
"Um, excuse me, but DUH they're close." Daisy stated. "All we have to do is follow the giant footprints and we're bound to find them eventually."
"It doesn't take a psychic to figure that out, Surge." Sabrina stated coldly.
The army of gym leaders, divided into different groups according upon where they came from, continued their trek with much grumbling and mumbling. The Cerulean sisters, Erica and her trainers, Surge and his, Koga and all his ninja trainers, Sabrina and her psychics, and Blaine had all assembled at form the first attack group. The gym leaders from all the other places would show up... whenever.
Suddenly, the group spotted their target far off in the distance. A few dozen feet away, actually.
"Good thing we have the element of surprise on our side." Surge stated.
Suddenly, the megazord began to move.
"Don't tell me you think Poke-Rangers don't watch the news!" Shouted Red's voice from somewhere in the megazord.
"Quick Sabrina! Use your psychic weird powers on that thing!" Koga shouted.
Sabrina leveled him with a cold look.
"Wait, let me get this straight. You expect me to be able to lift that thing, with my mind, and throw it?"
"Well, that was the plan." Violet stated.
"Um, no." Sabrina stated. "Sorry, but that's next to impossible."
"We'll just have to use our Pokemon, then." Surge shouted. "Raichu! Electrode! Magneton! Electrabuzz! Go!"
The other gym leaders, except Sabrina, all sent out their Pokemon as well. Sabrina and her trainers simply turned to go.
"Hey, what do you think you're doin'?" Surge exclaimed.
"This is stupid." Sabrina stated. "I see failure in your future."
With that, she and her Psychics teleported away into the night.
"I'm counting... at least 200 Pokemon, varingly high levels." Pink stated. "Oh, look! A Jigglypuff!"
"200, huh?" Red thought this over for a minute. "Shouldn't be a challenge."
"Can we leave the Jigglypuff??" Pink pleaded.
"OK..." Red sighed. "I'll teleport it out of the way."
With that, a single pink blur of energy shot skyward and vanished with a little twinkle.
"It's so convenient, not having to follow any set rules of science." Blue stated.
"How true. Now, what can we do to make this fun?" Red inquired.
"We could try destroying them one gym at a time." Green proposed as the coffee maker bleeped. "Coffee's ready! Anybody want some?"
"Moca-Java, a Ranger's best friend." Red stated, taking off his helmet and taking a sip.
"We could... pick them up and see how high we can throw them." Blue offered.
"I could sing them to sleep and then we could write 'the Poke-Rangers were here' on all their foreheads in permanent marker." Pink proposed.
"Nah; that could take all night." Yellow stated as a barrage of attacks began to hit them, causing their cockpit to rumble like as if an earthquake had started underneath them. "Wise old Chinese proverb say 'when in doubt, evolve it'."
"Ok, stage two megazord it is." Red said as a boulder as big as Nevada bounced harmlessly off the cockpit's sole window / the megazord's eyes. He put his cup into a nearby cup holder and put his helmet back on. "Hang onto your coffee, cuz' her we go."
"Why do you think they are just standing there, do you think?" Koga's sister inquired.
"Because our attacks are bouncing harmlessly off them?" Daisy offered.
"Because they're asleep?" Surge shrugged. "I dunno. Let's just do our best to trash em' while we have such good fortune."
Suddenly, the Poke-megazord began to glow.
"I believe the reason they have hesitated is because they are evolving." Koga stated the near-obvious.
The different pieces of the megazord dis-assembled as the glow got brighter, then with a sudden flash of light all grew into their next forms. Pichu-zord became Pikachu-zord, Puff-zord became Jigglypuff-zord, Charmander-Zord became Charmeleon-Zord, and so on and so forth. (If anyone out there wants to spend their time doing fanart for this fic, could you draw me the different megazords and stuff?) Reassembling, the Poke-Megazord looked pretty much the same, except for the following alterations: The sword got even bigger, the legs began to resemble an undergrown flower split apart, the face on the helmet looked really high-tech, the arms got buffer (or in some cases, 'Puffer'), and the whole thing just looked bigger and badder and twice as powerful.
"Ok, now what?" Pink inquired.
"Let's use mecha-Vinewhip attack." Green stated.
"Or how about blasting them with super-Bubblebeam?" Blue proposed.
"Thundercannon!" Yellow put in her suggestion.
"Seismic-Bodyslam!" Pink exclaimed.
"Under normal conditions, I'd be tempted to use all of the above, but I have a better idea." Red stated.
"You, have an idea? Amazing!" Green mocked.
"Shut up, you jerk. I'd say meaner things to you, but Poke-Rangers is rated for ages 5-12 and I don't want to cause our audience any discomfort."
"Oh, that makes a lot of sense." Green mocked. "Hello! We're not in our universe anymore! We aren't *on* TV; and we don't *have* a 5-12 audience. As Shakespeare wrote: 'the earth is our stage, the world our audience, so the show must go on'."
"I couldn't agree more." Red stated, throttling the controls forward.
"What are you gonna do?" Yellow inquired.
"What else: Apocalptic-Firepunch!"
The giant titan megazord slammed it's right fist into the ground, sending up geysers of rock and fire towards the large band of gym trainers.
Suddenly, Sabrina and her Psychics reappeared.
"Sabrina! Quick, do something!" Surge screamed, crying like a baby as the huge pieces of flaming stone neared impact.
"It's nice to feel needed." She stated, just before teleporting the whole army to safety a mile away.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I must regrettably inform you that the task force of gym leaders was overpowered and forced to retreat against the terror of the Poke-Rangers." The news guy stated.
"This is bad." Saamoni stated. "What happens if they manage to defeat everybody?"
"They'll do bad nasty things to whatever remains of humanity." Brock stated, staring at the TV. "Probably make everyone left watch their show and join their fanclubs before moving on to the next universe."
"Aaahhh! That's a nightmare!" She exclaimed. "This is worse than that time Bill Gates tried to buy the US!"
"Hey, I don't think it would be so bad." Misty stated. Saamoni glowered at her fiercely, on the verge of calling her a traitor.
"There's only a few things I can think of strong enough to defeat the Poke-Rangers." Ash stated, standing up. "Misty, you stay here and use your knowledge of the Poke-Rangers to try to find a way to stop them."
"Where are you going, Ash?"
"That's my secret." Ash smirked. "Don't worry, I'll bring back help!"
"That... was... close..." Surge stated, catching his breath.
"You're lucky we had enough energy to get the whole army out of there." Sabrina stated. "A few more seconds and there'd be nothing left of you except a puddle of Surge soda."
Suddenly, a giant metal Pokeball flew through the skies overhead, it's loud speakers conveniently illuminated.
"I had a feeling you punks had no clue how to handle a situation like this." Giovanni stated, his voice blaring out of the speakers. "You'd better let a REAL destruction-minded supervillain handle this."
(To Be Continued...!)