Author's Note: This is for the Lucky Dip challenge on the HPFFC forum. My title was given to me, as were the characters Hermione Granger, Padma Patil, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchey. It's kind of a pointless one-shot, but you should review anyway! :)
Gossip Girls
"You should have been a Ravenclaw," Padma says, finally looking up from the passage Hermione had pointed out to her. Her cheeks are slightly flushed from being corrected, but she smiles. "You certainly have the brains for it."
Hermione laughs, a little self-consciously. "The Hat did consider putting me in Ravenclaw."
Padma leans forward, her voice hushed. "The Hat considered putting me in Gryffindor, y'know. And I chose Ravenclaw, but I was a little disappointed when Parvati was sorted into Gryffindor. But it's funny; I never would have fit in at Gryffindor. I'm a Ravenclaw through and through."
Hermione nods. "I don't think I'd've liked Ravenclaw, really. Gryffindor is the best fit for me, and I met Harry and Ron through there, so…" She trails off, shrugging.
Padma's eyes light up. "So, what's the story behind you and Ron?"
"There's no story," Hermione says quickly. "We're just friends."
Padma smirks. "That's not what Parvati tells me. I hear you two have some serious chemistry."
Hermione blushes and looks down at her books. "We don't," she mumbles, almost inaudibly. "I think we could, but we don't. He's just so stupid sometimes!"
Padma nods wisely. "I went to the Yule Ball with him last year. He's a bit thick."
Hermione snorts, nodding. "So clearly, he's never going to realize that I'm a girl and we might actually be more than friends."
"That's why you have to make the first move," Padma hisses, her eyes dancing with mischief.
"No," Hermione says flatly. "That could ruin our friendship, and I don't want to risk that."
"Well, just put the feelers out there," Padma wheedles. "Express some interest and maybe-"
"Shh!" Hermione snaps, as they hear the sound of approaching footsteps. The girls quickly pick up their books and fall into the familiar appearance of intense studying.
"Am I interrupting something?"
Hermione looks up and grins in relief, setting her book down. "Hannah! No, we thought you were Madam Pince."
Hannah makes a face. "Not someone I'd want to be mistaken for. What are you two doing?"
"Studying," Hermione drones, but Padma interrupts her.
"We were just talking about Hermione and Ron," she says, her eyes glinting as she ignores Hermione's swift kick under the table.
"Ooh," Hannah says eagerly, grabbing a chair. "Has he asked you out yet?"
"No," Padma says glumly. "He's not the sharpest. But don't you agree that Hermione should show some interest, make him realize she's a girl and a potential girlfriend?"
Hannah makes a sympathetic sound, but nods. "Yes, Hermione, definitely help him out. You two would be such a cute couple."
"And why does everyone seem to think we should be a couple?" Hermione says stiffly. "We're just friends, there's no reason to change that."
"You said yourself that you could be more than friends," Padma points out.
Hermione glares at her. "Well, maybe in the distant future. It's silly to think of us being a couple now."
"The Hufflepuffs have a bet going on as to when you two will get together," Hannah says, grinning.
"What- I mean, honestly!" Hermione sputters, turning red.
Padma laughs delightedly. "And what's your bet?"
"February of sixth year," Hannah recites. "So really, Hermione, if you want to hold off a bit on expressing your interest, I have fifteen Galleons riding on this."
"I don't think anyone will be getting those Galleons," Hermione says darkly. "And really, doesn't anyone else have a love life around here?"
"Well, Padma and Michael Corner, of course," Hannah says, smirking.
"What?" Hermione says, eagerly turning the attention onto Padma. "Really, Padma, do tell."
Padma shrugs calmly. "We've realized we were in love a few months ago. But we've been keeping it quiet. No need to distract from studying when exams are so close." Hermione nods appreciatively, but Hannah shakes her head, bewildered. Padma turns to the latter. "But Hannah, how did you know?"
Hannah attempts a mysterious look. "I have my ways…and I saw you two snogging in the library last week."
Hermione cackles loudly, as Padma blushes. "Well, Hannah, what about you?"
Hannah stops laughing. "Oh. Well, I don't know."
"Come on Hannah, you know about us," Hermione pleads, unsympathetic to Hannah's squirming.
"Fine," Hannah snaps. "Justin Finch-Fletchey. Happy?"
"Thrilled," Padma says dryly. "That's adorable, and he's not as thick as Ron, so I think you have a better chance than Hermione here."
Hermione makes a face at Padma, but nods. "Really, you should ask him out. He'd love it."
"No," Hannah hisses. "He's so smart and funny and completely out of my league and I think-" She abruptly freezes, her face turning white.
Padma slowly turns around. "Oh, hello Justin."
Justin grins easily and waves. "I was just going to get a book on Herbology from Madam Pince. What are you girls up to?"
"Oh, nothing," Hermione says breezily. "We were just talking, and I think Hannah has something she wants to say to you."
Hannah tosses her a murderous glare before turning crimson. "Oh. Yes. I just- I just wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday."
Justin blinks in confusion. "Oh. Thank you. But you know, you did wish me a happy birthday on my actual birthday. Last month."
Hannah shrugs miserably. "Oh, did I? I've forgotten."
Justin nods slowly. "Right." He flashes her a quick grin. "I'll see you at dinner, then. 'Bye." He nods to Hermione and Padma, who are just barely repressing their giggles, and walks away.
The second he leaves, Padma and Hermione collapse on top of their books, laughing hysterically, and Hannah lets out a horrified wail before joining them.
"I think," Padma pants out, in between fits of laughter, "that we should study together more often."