Hey everyone, the hentai hunter is back again with another fanfic for y'all to enjoy. I read another fanfic on here about the reds and the blues watching a movie and I decided to give my personal spin on it. Check out rwbysis07 for the original, it's pretty good stuff.
"Tucker, we said no."
"Oh come on Carolina, what is there to complain about? You have a brave heroine, like yourself, who has to get attached to a brand new world and survive in a difficult environment. It's pure art I tell ya."
"Tucker, we aren't watching Showgirls," Agent Carolina said, attempting to be patient.
"Sure, there's a lot of action, ("there we go," muttered Agent Washington) but that isn't the reason I wanted to watch it. I much prefer a good story."
"I just want to watch the cooking channel!" Caboose yelled suddenly. "Rachal Ray is such a nice lady."
"Unh Unh", Grif said, shaking his head. "The cooking channel always makes me crave real, good food, and all we have here is MREs and stale poptarts!"
"You don't want to see him get emotional", Simmons added. "I've never seen someone have an existential crisis over steak."
"WELL MAYBE IF YOU'VE EVER HAD A GOOD RIBEYE INSTEAD OF THAT FAKE, ABOMINATION OF GOD THAT THEY CALL STEAK IN THOSE MRES, YOU'D HAVE A HIGHER APPRECIATION!" Grif yelled.
"I think we should all watch "Water World!" Sarge said.
Everybody moaned. "Sarge, that's an awful movie," Agent Washington said, wincing under his helmet.
"Not at all! Those fine actors make me almost want to give them NAVY folks respect. Almost..." "Sarge, what about this?" Wash said fishing through the box of DVDs. "A World War 2 documentary. It's about Stalingrad!"
"I'll be damned if I ever layed eyes on them filthy commies!" Sarge yelled. "Them lazy, good for nothin' bread munchers. I'd rather be dead than Red!"
Everyone started staring at him, waiting for him to realize what he said.
"Are you... sure about that?" Wash asked.
"Absolutely."
"So", Carolina said, breaking the silence. "What about a superhero movie? I've got a D.C film over here."
"Everyone knows that the MCU is better," Grif butted in.
"Shut up Grif!" Carolina said in an angry tone, her face becoming a nice shade of scarlet under the helmet. "What do you want to watch anyways?"
"I say Dumb and Dumber." Grif said, pulling an old, beat up DVD case out of the box. "I've had this since high school, it's my favorite movie."
"Of couse it is," Simmons muttered.
"Hey, I heard that ya dick!" Grif yelled
"No one has asked me what I think," Donut said, entering the living room.
"Donut, no Grey's Anatomy," Tucker said.
"Oh, it's not that. I'm over that little phase. I found this really good rom-com called..."
"NO!" everyone shouted instantaneously, except for Caboose, trailing in a good second after.
"Well fine", huffed Donut as he walked away.
"What about an animated film?" Wash asked. Toy Story anyone?
"Nah, Toy Story freaked me the fuck out when I was younger. I thought all my toys watching me do stuff, Bow-chika-wow-wow. It just hasn't sat with me right since." Tucker said.
"I think we should watch Casablanca, Simmons said in a matter of fact voice.
Everyone looked around at each other, confused.
'Simmons, what the fuck is a Casablanca?" Grif asked.
"It's one of the greatest films ever made! It's a masterpiece! It's an intellectually stimulating-"
Everyone started groaning loudly.
"Fuck. No." Grif said menacingly.
"I can't believe you all. It's a masterpiece!"
"No, Dumb and Dumber is." Grif said.
"No son, Waterworld is!" Sarge yelled.
Everyone got into an argument about their favorite movies. Grif and Carolina almost got into a fistfight over superhero films, until a mighty voice stopped them all.
"HUUUUUSSSHHH!!!" Caboose yelled.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him, sitting Indian style in front of the T.V, watching an animal documentary. "I'm trying to see the animals!
Everyone else looked at each other.
"Anyone want to break his heart?" Carolina asked.
"Nah dude. Animals are cool." Tucker said.
Everyone sat around a happy, fascinated Caboose with smiles on their faces as they watched the wild animals of Africa live their lives.
"My money is on the gazzelle. He's obviously gonna get away," Tucker said.
"No man, the cheeta always wins. Look at him go", Grif argued.
"Shut up you two," Carolina said, smiling.
After Party with the Hentai Hunter
Hey everyone, thanks for reading this silly one shot I made up. Not much to say: was written in a half hour. One interesting thing to note was that I was originally going to have Shaun of The Dead as Grif's pick, but I thought Dumb and Dumber a better idea. I also originally wanted to end it with Sarge putting in Waterworld while everyone was distracted, but I thought Caboose needed more time in the story. Anyways, thanks for reading. See ya next time!