Shame flickered in his deep blue eyes; the eyes I had begun to find myself in as we sat in the back of the Medicine Cat den. He stared at me before looking away, shaking his head in disbelief. How disappointed Hollyleaf would be if she knew just how bad her brother had broken the Warrior Code? It irked me that he refused to look at me, even if he would never actually see me; I just wished he would act like he cared for a few moments. I just wished he would pretend.
Jayfeather was known to be a cat of few words; his emotions were all tied to his own language. Most cats thought of him to be a prickly tom, which was correct in a way, but Jayfeather was so much deeper than that. I was truly in love with him, but his love was for Poppyfrost. It was never for me.
Jayfeather was my best friend, but I was his crutch. After Hollyleaf's supposed death he had turned to me for comfort, which I was perfectly fine with, until Lionblaze confronted me. His words had been tender and careful but there was nothing he could say that would hurt. Jayfeather didn't love me… He didn't even like me.
Jayfeather's gray tail swept across the cold, stone floor making dust scatter into the air. I watched him cautiously, waiting for him to just blow up in anger. He said nothing, but his eyes spoke enough to send her to her gave. He was furious that he had gone that far, and he was angry at her for letting him. I stared at him for several more agonizing minutes before I stood.
"Jayfeather-"
"Save it for your friends. I'm sure they would love to hear it." He growled, standing to face me. His tail continued to wave anxiously. That was one of his habits, waving his tail when he was upset.
"I'm sure Lionblaze would as well." I hissed, hoping that my words sliced as deep as his. His face showed no emotion; he stared at me blankly.
"Why would he care?"
"Good bye, Jayfeather." I said, turning to face the dark exit of the den. I took a few strides to it before being suddenly knocked over.
"Tell me what you mean, Cinderheart, or I swear-"
"You'll what?" With that simple question, Jayfeather slipped away from me and back into his den. Hot tears ran down my face as I walked out. Jayfeather had never hurt me worse in my life. I looked up and saw Poppyfrost sitting outside the nursery. She gave me a curious look, but I looked away from her. I couldn't bear to begin to explain to her my night.
I could never explain tonight.