Untouchable
Stars.
That's all she saw in that instant, shining in bright contrast to the dimly-lit parking lot and barely highlighting the actual diamonds
peeking out from behind the clouds that had shrouded Santa Barbara all day.
Untouchable, like a distant diamond sky...
Stars. That's all she saw in that instant, shining in bright contrast to the dimly-lit parking lot and barely highlighting the actual diamonds peeking out from behind the clouds that had shrouded Santa Barbara all day. Stars in his eyes, twinkling, sparkling in such a mesmerizingly-blue tone, staring right into hers in a fearless, open manner she wasn't accustomed to from... anyone, to be quite honest. The deep-blue flecks, amongst the lighter overall color that nearly incited shivers from the iciness they inflicted, looked as if someone had taken the navy right out of his jacket and sprinkled it in a pool of crisp water... refreshing, swimmable water... She could hardly think. Words failed her in that moment, stricken with the wind and the cold and the pressure of his eyes on her and his intense closeness... She'd forgotten what they'd been discussing.
I'm reaching out, and I just can't tell you why...
He couldn't describe the tension then. Quiet – dead as night, as they were surrounded in it. Quiet, but far from peaceful. Something lay underneath, unspoken and shoved beneath a weak cover-up as they both made attempts to say something, do something... Who would speak first? Certainly not he; he couldn't decide if he liked it or not. It was so odd and misplaced and totally, utterly confusing, but for some reason, he wasn't quite sure if he wanted it to be broken...
Maybe she'd speak first. Maybe she'd laugh as if nothing had happened, and bid him goodnight, and turn and walk to her car without further mention of the incident. That was the "Karen" thing to do. Just keep it professional and no one gets hurt.
Yet, she made no move away from toward him. She remained frozen, suggesting that she was just as torn and haunted as he. And if the Chief, too, was under this same spell... something had to be wrong.
I'm caught up in you... I'm caught up in you...
She knew she must have looked ridiculous; just staring at him for minutes on end, drinking in every movement, every color and sound and breath, just taking the moment to watch. It was captivating, holding her breath when he blinked those blue eyes into hiding for only a tissue-thin strand of time. She was immersed in every action – the wind's ticklish effect on his hair, the nervous shifting of his jaw, the squint in his eyes, every godforsaken breath he took, puffing out visibly in the frigid air and meeting hers halfway to slowly rise up to the sky, twisting and mingling in a steady pillar until disappearing in the harsh roar of the whistling wind... She'd never really looked at him before, but now, it was impossible to look away. He was just standing there, letting her study someone she'd known for years yet still hardly knew. For once, she had the chance, so she took it.
Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun...
After a what seemed like forever, he realized just how close she was to him. He hadn't noticed before; the transition had been so gradual and cautious that it had happened before he could react. He was both terrified and enchanted, as he'd never been so close to the Chief. He'd never had cause to be so near. In fact, he couldn't recall being that close to anyone without initiating it, save for a woman who'd wanted his blood and his ex-wife who'd all but kicked him out after he'd given her everything. Yet here he was, inches away from his boss, the last person he'd expected to even look at him without giving him an order or sighing at him for saying something he shouldn't have; here he was, losing his breath at the sight of her pink lips parted, brown eyes staring into his, skin pale with the chilly air and hair falling into her face slightly with the rough current of air – air he couldn't quite breathe. He hardly remembered how to breathe.
And when you're close, I feel like coming undone...
And suddenly, she found herself closer, closer than she had ever meant to be. His eyes widened slightly as she drew nearer, and she was sure she he was wondering if she'd lost her mind; she was, too. It wasn't prepared, or thought out, or even considered beforehand, but gravity worked opposite as she rose up to reach his height, never before realizing how short she was compared to him. She'd never felt small before – she'd always been taller than he, in demeanor rather than actual height. But now, she wasn't the Chief; she was just another person who'd suddenly become swept away in the moment, lost in the eyes of a man she'd never cared to look at before, stolen off her feet by the desire to explore the feelings she was feeling and to re-examine the first impressions, followed by second and thirds; to dig deeper into what was there which she'd never discovered in a simple man's eyes and the calm before an ice storm lying in wait.
In the middle of the night, when I'm in this dream,
It's like a million little stars, spelling out your name
It felt like a dream; silent, lingering, and agonizingly slow... The frost featherlight in the air as he leaned closer, fearful and exhausting, cautious and fleeting, ready to turn on their heels in an instant and preserve no pride in running away, taking off homeward with their heartbeat in their feet. Breaths were scarce, as they both feared to wake the beast that was their common sense with a sound, a touch, or a motion. Neither wanted to think - neither wanted to break the spell that bound them to what would be an intense high and a shattering fall as they realized what they'd done... or were about to do. They drew nearer and nearer until they knew they'd reached the point of no return, seconds away, but then, worlds apart, from each other. So close...
But it wasn't until the second he'd decided to run that they'd met, and his thoughts dissolved into what would be a kiss that was never supposed to happen.
You gotta come on, come on... Say that we'll be together.
Come on, come on...
Then, they kissed. Tentative, calculated, careful, but not uncertain. A weightless, beautifully-simple kiss that spoke wordlessly the thoughts and questions that had stirred in their subconscious mind since they'd met, the quiet rumble of "What if?" that had never been theirs to address until the instant they'd worked up the nerve to let go and wonder aloud, to dream and imagine and believe in something unbelievable, yet inevitable in the grand scheme of things, in the larger aspect of the universe that was invisible to their eyes yet quietly tugged at outsiders' minds in a strange, head-shaking, dismissive way. The thing they'd been hiding from for so long – years on end of stolen glances and shaking heads and raised eyebrows spent on that moment alone – was now in their grasp. Whether they'd reach out and grab it, ignoring all sense of right and wrong and "proper", facing what they feared most – namely, their own feelings – was up in the air entirely. But then, who needed it right there, when they had that moment in the starlight, safe for their own memory. They had a lifetime to think, but only a second to savor what was there where nothing else was before.
Little taste of heaven...
But it was all too quick that she'd pulled away, and the moment was whisked away with the quickening wind that accompanied the clouds rolling in above their heads, as was predicted by every weatherman as an unexpected snowstorm. His eyes opened, and found hers; wide, enamored, awestruck. Her expression mirrored every though flying through his head, and she was sure she echoed his sentiments. He'd expected to feel lost, as if heaven had reached down and picked him up briefly before tossing him back down to cold reality. Yet now, he felt an overwhelming sense of calm and refreshing peace, something he'd considered a rarity, as if she'd restored a part of him that never existed. Instead of remorse and awkward silence, he was met with reassurance - that she was open to him, accepting, receiving. With her eyes and her lips alone, she'd told him that it was okay to feel, and that, should they feel ready, she wasn't going anywhere. He'd never felt so welcomed by words as he did now without. One simple kiss had left him with no words, but no fear, and no regrets. She'd fixed something inside him that he'd never know was broken, without a sentence escaping her lips. Somehow, he'd taken a leap he was certain would land him broken on the ground, and she set him on his feet. How she did that, he couldn't have told you, for no one had done that for him in a long time.
And there she was, the miracle-worker, with a slight smile playing at her lips as the wind tossed her hair gently. He felt the calm in her smile and returned the grin, cautious not to seem too overbearing. With a respectful nod, she whispered quietly, voice nearly carried off with the winter air, "Goodnight, Carlton." And she turned around... and walked away.
He tried to follow in kind, turning away to approach his car with a stupid grin on his face. Still convinced he was dreaming and would meet his rude awakening should he blink his eyes closed for a moment, he took a second to process what had just happened... but no, he still couldn't believe it. The Chief... or Karen, if that was even allowed in his thoughts... she'd kissed him. It didn't make sense, but then, what did?
He reached his car and unlocked the door, but paused for a moment. With one curious glance backward, he turned and sought out her face for one last time. To his amazement, she'd been looking back, too. She smiled understatedly, and turned back to her car, slipping into the driver's seat. He followed suit.
Maybe the moment was discarded in front of the police station on that Thursday night, he mused. Maybe the following day, they'd be back to business-as-usual, and they wouldn't speak on a personal level for days. Maybe they wouldn't have a moment like that for quite some time.
But the magic remained, and he was certain it would follow him for as long as he could picture the magician's beautiful face in his head every morning. Magic wasn't as fleeting as moments were, and as a man with very little magic in his life, he found this a blessing in itself.
Thanks for reading :) This was just a song I couldn't get out of my head, so I coupled it with these two, and... this happened. I like it. What about you?
Please leave a review to let me know what you think, favorite, etc. It's very much appreciated :)
* *-TheSongbird341-* *
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Psych, its characters, or this song, which is sung by Taylor Swift at Big Machine Records. They're Untouchable ;)