Author's note: ...

-judy

Leon's Relationship Troubles by Judith Frankenbutt

Leon felt his life couldn't be any more miserable than it was that night. How could he go on like this, knowing what he now knew? Was life even worth living... if the alligator didn't love him back?

The moment he had laid eyes on the gigantic beast, he knew his heart could belong to no one else. After minutes of struggling with these new feelings, Leon confessed his love to it, and so began their rocky relationship.

Which lasted all of five minutes.

Leon felt hot tears stream down his dirty cheeks as he watched the bored sewer gator wander away. Well, damn it! He'd show that lizard he didn't need it! He'd buy a convertable! And drive around the city, picking up hot young zombies!

And cry himself to sleep every night.

"Gator! Come back!" Leon called out to the alligator. It turned around, not an easy feat in the narrow tunnel, and gave him a look that spoke volumes.

Leon swallowed and tried again, "Can't we try to make this work? Please? I need you, baby."

The gator considered this, and replied with an unsure growl.

Leon smiled with relief, "Alright, we can try couple's therapy, if you think it's a good idea."

Couple's Therapy turned out to be a terrible idea.

All too late Leon realized how much pent-up rage and frustration the alligator had been hiding from him. Also hunger. Not ten minutes into an exercise intended to release some of the built up stress, alligator snapped and took a sizable bite out of the therapist.

Shell-shocked, Leon could do nothing as the alligator made it's get-away, leaving him with the remains of their unfortunate councilor. And the blame.

It was a short trial, there being little evidence in Leon's favor. No one believed he was dating a giant alligator, nor that such a creature could exist. (And if it did exist, well, that kind of relationship was illegal in those parts!)

So Leon was convicted of murder, and quickly sentenced.

As the cell door closed behind him, Leon's new roommate took notice of the handsome ex-cop.

"So, what're you in for?" the blondenett queried.

"An alligator broke my heart and framed me with murder," Leon sobbed.

The scruffy convict patted Leon on the shoulder, "Uh, that's tough."

Leon sniffled gratefully and shook the other man's hand, "Leon Kennedy."

"Murphy Pendleton."

TO BE CONTINUED?