Keeping Promises
Dean comes out of the kitchen with a beer in his hand, strolling past Sam hard at work at the map Room table fully intending to just head to the library adjoining and watch a little TV. He wants to ask Sam to join him but Sam's been very intense since the they found the Werther Box and Dean's not wanting to start any arguments. He's felt off all day, like either he's coming down with something of he's worried about something, well something more than the usual, aka the Mark of Cain. He can't quite pinpoint it. Sam's been at whatever he's been at since early morning, even eating in the map room and Dean's just wandered through the day feeling off. The fact that every time Sam's phone rings or dings, he jumps a little and frowns at the screen is starting to rub Dean the wrong way. Sam's text alert is an annoying little ping Dean's always hated but today it's driven him close to grabbing the phone and throwing it across the room. Sam gets up suddenly, closes up the computer, gathers it and his papers and puts them in hi messenger bag. He grabs a jacket off the back of his chair that's been there all day like Sam's planning on putting it on any minute. Sam stuffs his phone in his jacket pocket and turns to Dean.
"Hey, I'm going out for a little. Shouldn't take long. You want me to grab a pizza or something on the way back?" His brother gives him a strange look and it makes him a little more nervous than he's been all day every time Dean's walked through. "What? You okay?"
Dean's holding the beer in that dangerous way he does when he's planning to hustle pool. "I'm peachy Sammy. You hunting something you're keeping from me or you finally willing to admit what kind of porn you're watching?"
Sam laughs. "Not hunting. No porn. Couple of errands. Take maybe an hour. So, pizza? " Dean's still got the feeling this isn't quite right. But again he's not feeling one hundred percent and he doesn't think he's up to a fight with Sam , he nods and figures Sam will be back in an hour.
"Fine. Pizza. But if you come back with a veggie pizza Sam I swear.." Sam smiled and held up a hand.
"Extra meat. Pepperoni, sausage, ham,bacon…whatever you say." He is trying really hard to please Dean and wants to keep his brother's suspicions to a minimum. He can't afford any mistakes right now.
"Okay. You like that place next door to the bar?" He picks up the messenger bag. He doesn't need it but Dean's little etching form the notebook had made him cagey about leaving anything he'd rather not clue his brother in to. Dean tosses him the keys, not because he wants to but because he wants Sam to feel he's being trusted. "Promise. Back in one hour." And he's up the stairs leaving Dean feeling more off than before.
Dean slumps on the sofa and clicks on the TV. There's nothing good on. He's channel surfing when he finds a B grade horror flick and he leaves it there. He drinks his beer but it's not making him any calmer. If anything, he's feeling more agitated. He looks at his watch. Sam's going to be back in forty five minutes. He promised. Dean wonders if he's feeling this way because he's feeling angry at Sam, or left out or ….what. He's feeling emotional and vulnerable and suddenly he feels pretty rotten physically. Maybe he is coming down with something. He realizes his head is aching, his arms and legs are sore and he has a weird feeling it wouldn't take much to make him cry right now and he still can't figure out why. He toes off his boots and grabs Sam's squishy pillow, stretching out on his side and mashing his face into the pillow which does feel comforting. The horror flick's not cutting it and he searches again until he finds some kind of western and leaves it looks at his watch again. Sam should be back in thirty minutes…
Sam also glances at his watch as he pulls into Leo's Pizza to pick up the extra large meat lover's supreme with extra cheese, Chicago style the way Dean likes it. He's just left a very angry Rowena after checking her translating of the codex and the Book. She's made progress but she's pissed Sam is in a bargaining mood. He has to be back in the hour so Dean will not be suspicious. Well, of course Dean's suspicious but Sam wants to keep his word to his brother since it helps with his guilt over keeping hasn't really lied to Dean. He ran some errands and he's returning with pizza. By the time he has it all figured out and can cure Dean his brother won't mind, Sam's sure of it. It's just that Dean's been a little wired up lately and he's trying to keep things on an even keel. He is trying to be strong for Dean, because that's what Dean's always been for him.
Dean looks at his watch again and it's an hour plus 5 minutes since Sam left. Now five minutes isn't really a big deal. Except he put his trust in Sam and Sam promised. Dean's been getting increasingly worse as Sam's been gone. His aches and pains are worse and his head is pounding. He wants to get up and go to his bed but he doesn't have the strength. That weird desire to cry has tears already in his throat and he's chastising himself about being a baby when Sam comes in and Dean realizes it's pouring rain. So of course Sam being Sam and not Dean used extra care driving back. He's trying really hard to keep it all together except that need just won't go away. His brother comes into the library and sets the pizza on the coffee table. He takes one look at Dean and knows right away something is not right.
"Dean?", he asks by way of greeting. He sits on the coffee table and is worried. It's chilly out and Sam pulls off the knitted beanie he has on his head. "Hey you alright?" He waits and Dean tries to nod or smile but that damn signature one tear spills over and he's afraid he'll lose it completely if he tries to speak. Sam is growing more concerned. He reaches out and places a hand on Dean's forehead and instead of moving away his brother leans into the touch and Sam doesn't even have to feel the heat of Dean's skin to know his brother is sick.
"You have a fever Dean", Sam says. "Anything hurt?" Dean's green eyes are super wet and shiny and he's struggling not to be weak and cry but he's ridiculously glad Sam is back.
"I don't feel good Sam", he says finally and Sam smiles, brushing the hair back from his face.
"I bet. Okay. The pizza can wait. You need some Tylenol and water. Maybe some orange juice. Let 's get you to bed." He's holding out his hands and Dean takes them and allows himself to be pulled to his feet. Sam walks beside him, not holding him up but close enough to help if needed and once they get to Dean's room, Sam sits his brother on the bed, pulls warm pajamas out and pulls back the covers. "Get changed and I'm getting you some medicine."
Sam's not too worried. Dean's always a little fragile emotionally when he's sick. Sam chalks that up to no one really taking care of Dean except Dean when he was sick growing up. It seemed like Dad was always gone or Sam was always sick too and Dean was looking out for both of them or in most cases just Sam. That's why Sam has a tendency to baby Dean a little when these rare occasions occur that the crisis is just ordinary sickness and not a life threatening crisis. Because Sam feels bad of late that Dean missed out on the simple things like being tucked in and having stories read to him and someone making sure you felt better. Because Sam had all of those things. Thanks to Dean. He grabs the Tylenol and some water and heads back to Dean's room.
Big brother is in his pajamas and under the covers still looking miserable when Sam returns. He accepts the medicine with an almost guilty acceptance. Sam knows it. This is Dean craving but not asking for the attention because he isn't truly sure he deserves it.
"What's wrong with me Sam?", he asks in a raspy voice. Sam sighs scooting the chair by the bed closer.
"I don't know Dean. Let's see how you do with some meds and a little rest and take it from there." He pats Dean on the arm and stands up. He's going back to whatever secret thing he's up to. Dean closes his eyes to keep the unwanted tears at bay. "I'll be right back." Sam leaves and Dean lets the one tear fall again. A second follows and Dean knows it's because Sam said he was coming back. He hates this part of being sick the most. The feeling like you have to have comfort from someone. It takes him out of his usual role of care giver and it's unsettling.
Sam comes back. He's put the pizza away and grabbed a water for himself. He's carrying a book and he turns off the lights except the small one on the nightstand. He's very emotional himself because the book he's brought is one Dean read to him one winter when he was eleven and had a really bad case of the remembers his fifteen year old brother not caring if he got sick too, sitting beside Sam, leaning on the headboard, reading The Acts of King Arthur and His Noble Knights by John Steinbeck. It had been a Christmas present from Pastor Jim and Sam had loved Dean read it, Sam always pictured the great Sir Lancelot looking exactly like Dean. But he never told Dean that. Dean would have called him a girl but Sam thought all these years later he'd have been secretly pleased and maybe, just maybe he pictured himself as the great knight too. Sam hoped so.
"What's that book?", Dean asks in a sleepy voice. He's warm and he feels better having Sam near by. Sam holds up the book and Dean smiles.
"Read that to you. Long time ago." He recalls being so worried and wishing Dad would come back. Sam is suddenly beside him on the other side, book in hand.
"I remember." He traces the inscription inside. To Sam Always be honorable for honor's sake, just like the knights of the Round Table. Love, Pastor Jim. Christmas 1993. He turns the page and begins to read. "When Uther Pendragon was King of England…"
Dean closes his eyes and listens to Sam read. He won't admit it but he's loving this attention, this care from Sam. He feels like crap but Sam's here with him, returning the favor of reading from so long ago. And as he drifts off, he feels Sam's hand on his arm and listens to Sam's voice, the best sound on Earth as far as Dean Winchester is concerned. He's miserable but Sam's not leaving him for research or any clandestine thing he could have cooked up in that giant geek head. As he drifts off to sleep, Dean starts to feel safe, cared for and loved. And that's all because of Sam keeping his promises..