Disclaimer: I do not own Mortal Kombat nor will I ever
Hey all! This is my second crappy try at a fan fic! Hope you like it!
The Real Mortal Kombat!
Scorpion is in a super market
Scorpion: Well, here we go
He puts a big bag of toilet paper on the counter.
Store Clerk: That'll be $21.50 sir.
Dokuga Strike: Now there's one thing you should know about Scorpion before I continue...he's fucking crazy.
Scorpion: Ok, here ya go
Scorpion gives the money to the store clerk
Store Clerk: Um...sir...your missing 10 cents
Scorpion: Are you making fun of me? That's it! I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!
Store Clerk :What?
Scorpion: You heard me penis wrinkle! I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!
Store Clerk: Your in a store
Scorpion: Yeah but...
Store Clerk: But look at you! Your in top physical condition! You'll kick my ass.
Scorpion: Oh, I'm not worried at all...now get over here!
A hook-shot type thing comes out of Scorpion's hand and stabs the store clerk thus pulling him towards Scorpion
Scorpion punches him twice and he falls to the floor
Random voice from nowhere: Scorpion wins! Round 2...round 2!
Scorpion: I don't think he's getting up
Raiden: Hey who ate all the cookies? I'm looking in your direction Scorpion!
Scorpion: You always blame me for this kinda crap! That's it! Mortal Kombat.
Raiden: That's what you always say when people don't agree with you. Why do you challenge people to Mortal Kombat anyway?
Scorpion: Because Mortal Kombat is the ultimate test of speed, strength, and agility...plus you get to kick peoples' asses and that's always cool
Sub-Zero: No argument here. Hey who ate all the cookies?
Raiden: That's what we're trying to figure out.
Sub-Zero: Did you ask Scorpion and now he's challenging you to Mortal Kombat?
Raiden: Yyyyep
Sub-Zero: So how many people have you challenged to Mortal Kombat anyway?
Scorpion: weeeelllll...
FLASHBACK
Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Kombat! ( old lady )
Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Kombat! ( blind guy )
Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Kombat! ( cat )
Cat: Miow!
REALITY
Scorpion: Pretty much everyone cept that guy down the street...aaannd most of the guys from 60 seconds
Raiden: Why the guys from 60 seconds?
Scorpion: Because what they say confuses me...
Sub-Zero: The cat was pretty low, but the old lady and the blind guy?
Scorpion: I know, you'd think they'd offer more of a challenge, both down in the first round.
Raiden: Well, I bet you 50 bucks you can't go a day without challenging someone to Mortal Kombat
Scorpion: Ha! Easiest 50 bucks I ever made, I accept your weak-ass bet!
5 minutes later
Scorpion: Hello, help line? I think I'm going crazy! Its been a whole 5 minutes and I haven't challenged anyone to Mortal Kombat! Hello? Hello? FUCKER!
Scorpion throws the phone out the window
Sub-Zero walks up
Sub-Zero: So how's the bet going?
Scorpion: Well, it feels like I lost a part of me and-
Sub-Zero: Yeah Whatever, you suck
Scorpion: What? I challenge you to-
Sub-Zero: Aaah, can't say it can you? Ha! I'm gonna milk this for all its worth! I slept with your mom... and it was hot! And your sister too, man I just got on top of her and-
Scorpion: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scorpion: And he was all like "I slept with your mom and-"
Liu-Kang: A wise man once said " Words are nothing but empty expressions of the soul"
Scorpion: What the hell does that mean? Fuck, now I'm just confused. Your stupid! I challenge you to-
Raiden walks up from nowhere
Raiden: Hey Scorpion, how's the bet going?
Scorpion: Oh, not bad... I think I'm starting to get the hang of it...
Raiden: Good 'cuz Sub-Zero's painting Scorpion sucks all over your room
Scorpion: I'll kill that bastard!
Scorpion runs off
Liu-Kang: How long do you think he will last?
Raiden: Probably till supper, or have a nervous break down... whatever comes first
Only 5 minutes left in the day
Scorpion's thoughts: Just 5...more...minutes
Sub-Zero: Hey Scorpion! I thought of a whole new list of insults... ahem, your dumb, your stupid, you smell bad, I hate you, I slept with your mom...again...
Scorpion's thoughts: just 2...more...minutes...!
Sub-Zero: You suck-
POW! Scorpion socked Sub-Zero in the face
Sub-Zero: ow
Scorpion: Raiden aaid nothing about hitting you!
Sub-Zero: Come on man...lighten up
Sub-Zero backs away
Raiden walks up
Raiden: Scorpion you did it! I"m impressed! So what did you learn?
Scorpion: Gimme my fucking money
Raiden hands him the money
Scorpion: I challenge you to Mortal Combat!
END
Author's Notes: This was my second try at a fan fic so I know its terrible... I got the idea from a flash cartoon that I saw once, it was so funny that I just had to share with all you fans out there! Please review