I'm not nervous, even though I have every reason to be. This is the day that brings nightmares, anxiety, and strife. It breaks families, hearts and hope: Reaping Day. I toss the thin covers off and get out of bed. I step over my two sisters, Cassie and Coral, asleep on the floor. We take turns on who gets the bed. I would sleep on the floor every night, but they insisted that I should be a part of it. I slip out the door and creep down the stairs. My parents are already up, dark circles under their eyes. They couldn't sleep either. it's my brother's first year in the Reaping, my fourth. We already lost my older brother to The Hunger Games when I was seven. This day holds pain for my parents I know I couldn't bear. I don't know how they manage it. We barely make it by now. Marius had to sign up for tessera this year. I can barely stand the thought of it. I hated to do it, but we had to eat. My mother nods in greeting as she slices a small loaf of bread for breakfast and my father slides a mug of coffee across the table. I stare at it. Coffee is expensive, and I haven't had it since I got a job at the tack shop as a reward when I was thirteen.
"Drink," he says. "A bright spot for your day."
I laugh humorlessly, "Thanks." I sip and have to get used to the bitter taste. It's a good bitter though, and I sip again. I sit down at the table and my mom joins us. We sit in silence, trying not to think of the inevitable "what if's" that fill your mind on a day like today.
Our small wooden clock chimes the hour, telling us it's time to wake my siblings so they can get ready for the Reaping. I feel my heart drop with every step up the stairs. I ask my parents if I can wake up Marius, so they go to wake up the girls. The door creaks as I turn the worn door knob. Marius turns to see who it is. He is already dressed in his best clothes and his eyes are red. He sniffs, trying to hide his tears. I try to pretend that I don't notice and say lightly, "Hey, you're up early for once. I expected to find a monster wrapped in a blanket."
"Yeah, couldn't sleep that well," he replies. I sit down on his bed, not knowing what to say. "Marina...what if…"
"Shh. It won't be you. If it's anyone, it'll be me," I feign a smile. "I seriously doubt it, though. I've already escaped it for three years."
"That doesn't mean anything," he whispers, on the verge of tears. I sigh, the pretending game is up.
"I'd volunteer for you, if I could." I say.
"No. You would have to stay. I...I wouldn't be missed."
I place my hands on his shoulders and turn him so that he's facing me, "That's not true. You know that's not true."
"Yeah. I know, but it would be a lot easier, wouldn't it?"
I look at him sadly, when did he become so old? What he said was true. It would be a lot easier if we wouldn't be missed. I jealously think of Delmare Peters, a boy in my class at school. He's been living on the street since his parents died. He's always making trouble-cussing at kids, breaking windows...No one would really miss him if he was reaped, and in the world we live in now, isn't that the best way to live?
"We're leaving in ten minutes," is all I can think of saying as I leave his room. The girls are changing in my parents' room, so I enter mine. My closet closely resembles a hole in the wall. Two dresses and a pair of pants hang on a rack my father constructed. I reach out my arm to pick the blue dress when my mother comes in holding a creme flowing dress. Looking closer, I see flowers etched inside the stitching.
"I found this in my closet the other day, and I thought it would fit you," she explains.
"It's beautiful," I answer, taking it off the hanger and slipping into it. She zips it up for me and I face her.
"You're beautiful. This is the dress I wore the day…" She doesn't finish, and she doesn't have to. She was wearing it the day that changed our lives forever- Matt's Reaping Day. I wipe a tear from her cheek and smile. "Thank you. I'm sure everyone in town will think it's lovely." My mother nods and pulls some pins out of her hair. Her blonde hair falls in a wave, and she motions for me to turn around. She pulls my bangs back and fastens them.
"Something simple," she says.
"Something simple," I repeat. There's a clamor from downstairs, which means everyone is ready to leave. I sigh, knowing that my life might be changed forever in an instant. We walk down the steps and join the rest of our family. My father, sisters, and brother are already waiting at the edge of the road. I start to join them, but turn back to see my house once more, just in case it will be my last glance of my home.
The walk is only a few minutes, but it seems like an eternity today. We trudge along in silence, nodding to neighbors. The salty air isn't as inviting and uplifting as it usually is. I watch the ocean waves crashing and then retreating back from the shore, and I can't help but think of the futility of it all. It comes and goes, never really achieving anything. I wonder if that's a metaphor for life as we enter the town square. I guide Marius to the tables to sign in and lead him to the area full of terrified twelve year olds. Some are trying to talk nervously, others are staring off into the distance, they all look nauseated. I reach the section for the sixteen year olds, and am greeted by a few friends from school with nods and half smiles. Nerissa moves to stand beside me and grabs my hand.
"It's Marius' and Adrian's first reaping. I've never been so nervous about this day. I thought it was bad my first time."
"I know," I agree completely. I can save my own skin, but Marius? No one can harm him. Not after Matt's death.
Nerissa elbows me, "Look who's waving at you!"
I turn to the left to see Seaweed Clark failing to discreetly attract my attention. Every girl notices and whispers. I turn red and wave back. He smiles and suddenly the butterflies in my stomach is a pleasant feeling. It disappears as soon as the District Four escort takes the stage. Vada Kingsley, her sparkly, capitol blue heels clacking on the wood floor, finds the microphone and does her usual speech about the power and greatness of Panem, justifying the Hunger Games and making it seem glorious. I'm distracted by Seaweed Clark winking, making silly faces at me, and the well tailored shirt he's wearing. He points at my dress as Vada starts the short movie that follows her pep talk and gives me a thumbs up. I roll my eyes and smile at him, nudging my head toward the screen. I watch the clip and suddenly my heart sinks like a rock. Vada will choose a name and it could be mine. It could be Marius'. It could be Nerissa, or Adrian or Delmare, or the boy across the street. I feel my panic rising and I grab Nerissa's hand. She squeezes it as the screen fades to black. With the clack of her heels, Vada is heading toward the container of names. I slow my breathing down. One in a thousand. Even if I'm picked, I have to stay calm. Thank God Cassie and Coral aren't in. Vada reaches her hand in. She goes straight to the bottom this time. She pauses, takes a breath, and opens the card. I look down, and the silence is agonizing.
"Marina Calder," she says calmly.
Calmly. She has sent me to death without hesitation. I am frozen in my tracks. Nerissa is letting go of my hand, but I cling to it with all that I have. Everyone is staring at me, and I feel like I'm about to puke. I see Seaweed pale, and I must be going crazy because I'm half smiling at the thought of a someone with dark skin looking pale. I hear Peacekeepers and all of a sudden I realize that they're coming for me, and if I'm going to be a competitor in this sickening game I have to be stronger than that. I let go of Nerissa's hand and somehow I'm remembering how to walk. I make it up the stairs of the stage and that's when I hear my mother's wail. My dad, my sweet aithar, wraps her and the sobs are muffled. Vada places me to her right and congratulates me. I barely hear the words. My lip is quivering and I feel my hands shaking. I scan the crowd for Marius and his face is taut with held in grief and pain. I feel tears burn my eyes, but I manage to blink them away. I hear the clacking of Vada's heels once more and I know she's picking my fellow tribute. I turn my head just enough to see her electric blue nails draw the slip of paper.
"Braley Brine!" Vada says. If it's possible, my heart drops even lower. Braley laughs and claps his hands. It is a horrible contrast to the eery silence. Braley is simple minded, as harmless as a butterfly. There's no rule that exempts him from the Games, and the Peacekeepers come to collect him. He has no idea what he's been chosen for. I can't help but be selfish for a moment and curse my luck. My one possibly ally and friend from home has the mind of a child. I hear the cry of Braley's sister- his only caretaker. She's pleading the Peacekeepers, Vada, anyone to make an exception, volunteer for him. Braley shushes her and touches Vada's sparkling dress.
"Shiney!" he says with delight.
Vada slaps his hand away, "Yes. Well, let's give a big round of applause for this year's District Four tributes for the sixty eighth Hunger Games!"
There is weak applause like every year that cannot hide the sobs and screams of the families. My family, and Irma Brine, those are their voices. I try and make my way off the stage, but I'm stopped by peacekeepers. Vada grabs my arm and leads Braley and I into the Justice Building. The doors shut behind us with such finality that I can only associate it with the end of my life.
Author's Note: Hey guys! Let me know what you think by reviewing. I will be updating soon. ~Cartega