What would it be like? He wondered as he watched Cassandra in the training yard from his window. What would it be like to hold her? To sit with her and talk about anything and everything? To make love to her? To have her wanting to spend her time with him? He closed his eyes as if he was wishing it all to be true. For the past year they'd been traveling and fighting along side each other, with each passing day his feelings for this enigmatic warrior woman grew to something he'd never felt before. He could tell his feelings were getting stronger because every time Varric opened his mouth and gave Cassandra a hard time he felt like pummelling him into the ground. What was it about her? Was it the way she moves gracefully between her enemies, striking them down one by one? Was it her passion for what she believes in? Was it that sexy, thick Navarran accent? Was it because she is still a complete mystery even after all this time? All of those things and more.
He watches as she moves from one dummy to the other, floating like a feather, making heavy blows to each of them, as if she were fighting real enemies. He leant on the window sill and continued to watch her, he wasn't sure how long he'd been there but she stopped all of a sudden, put her sword back onto the weapon rack and walked away. He shook his head as if to shake the thoughts of her away and attempted to get back to work. Finally, he was getting things done, no distractions. He was so lost in his work that he didn't hear his door open.
"I could feel your eyes on me the whole time, Inquisitor." He startled out of his concentrated state and papers flew everywhere. Cassandra hand went to her mouth, covering her giggle.
"I-..I, um..." He scratched the back of his neck in slight embarrassment.
"Why do you watch me?" She walked forward and sat on the edge of his desk. Fiddling with a candelabra. Watching him fidget.
"You are...quite distracting, my Lady." A small blush crept into her cheeks. His eyes not locked onto hers.
"How so?" He stood up and turned around, trying to get his thoughts in a line. Turning back around and backing out onto the balcony, she followed slowly.
"I think it's the way that you move when you fight." She raised her eyebrows, crossing her arms over her chest. "You float, almost. Like a dance, maybe."
"Like a dance? I do not dance." She said matter of fact-ly.
"I beg to differ, just not in the traditional sense of the word." He placed his hands on the railing of the balcony, looking out to the keep below, trying hard not to look at her. He felt that if he were to look at her, he would slip and say more than he should.
"It is just how I fight. You've seen me do it a thousand times, Inquisitor." She smiles to herself, walking to the railing and leaning on it, facing the opposite way.
"I have." She picked up the tone of his voice, sounding as if he wanted to change the subject. She obliged.
"When do we leave for The Hinterlands?" She asked, as if she didn't already know. She likes talking to him, especially late at night, when they're travelling, when everyone else is sleeping but them, only them. They talk a lot but still don't know anything really. She worries to ask personal questions, she doesn't want to offend. She supposes he doesn't want to either.
"The day after next. Are you prepared?" Standing up straight and turning to her. She smiles.
"As prepared as I can get, what about you?" He folds his arms and smiles.
"I don't think I'm ever fully prepared. Expect the unexpected is a terrible saying."
"Even then, the unexpected is still unexpected." He nods and smiles again. A short silence hangs over them, he coughs slightly to fill it.
"I should get back to my work, I've been avoiding it." She stands up quickly, shaking her head.
"Of course, I'm sorry I've kept you." He puts a hand on her arms.
"Not at all, you're always welcome in my quarters." He opens his eyes wide and fumbles his words. "Uh, um, huh you know what I mean." She laughs, covering her mouth. He wipes his brow and walks quickly back over to his desk. She begins to walk to the door, but stops short of the door.
"Inquisitor?" He looks up from his papers. "Will I see you at the tavern this evening?" She asks with a smile.
"Of course." He says, nodding nervously. He gets back to work quickly. Time was catching up to him and Josephine was waiting on his reports. He's always had a knack for leaving things to the last minute, he was an easily distracted man, especially when Cassandra is around. He finishes his reports and takes them down stairs to Josephine's office. They make small talk and talk about some inquisition business, as he goes to leave he has an idea.
"Ah, Josephine?" She looks up questioningly.
"Yes, Inquisitor?" He clears his throat.
"Might I ask you something in confidence? You see it's a bit of a personal thing..." Josephine's posture straightens.
"Of course, what is it?" He leans on the pillar in the hall, rubs the back of his head and looks around.
"Do you know much about Lady Cassandra?" Josephine smiles knowingly.
"Her favourite colour is red," She stands and walks closer to the Inquisitor. "She loves to read romance books but would never tell anyone, and poetry. She'll say that she doesn't want to talk about herself but all she ever wants is someone important to ask. Is that enough?" He grins and nods.
"That's perfect. Thank you Josephine." He turns and begins to walk away yet again. "Oh, flowers?" She shakes her head but grins.
"In general. Anything will do." He leaves quickly. Smiling to himself as he walks through the keep to the tavern. The noise from the tavern can be heard from the doors of the main tower. As he nears the door he spots her through the window, she's talking to Lelianna and Cullen, most probably about inquisition business. Cassandra trusts people but she would never be caught talking about anything frivolous. He enters and the noise is deafening, most of the soldiers that aren't on patrol are sitting, drinking, talking and laughing. Iron Bull, Dorian and Sera are playing a game, but he can't tell what one. Varric is sitting by himself in the corner, using a rag to clean Bianca, the crossbow. The Inquisitor sits across from him.
"Varric." He says with a nod, not looking at him.
"Hey, Trev." Varric says in return, placing Bianca on the table. "What are you up to?"
"I just thought I'd come and join the fun." He looks around the tavern again, nothing's changed.
"Not much fun here. Sorry. I'm not one for drinking games," Varric points in Sera's direction, "or important matters." Tilting his head in Cassandra's direction. "Just me and Bianca."
The Inquisitor shrugs. The tavern keeper brings a mug of ale over to him and smiles. He nods and takes the drink. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Cassandra looking at him, he tries his hardest not to look back at her, but fails. He smiles at her and lifts his mug as a greeting. She does the same, she turns back to her conversation and he continues to look at her. Varric notices.
"You and the Seeker, huh?" Trevelyan looks at him and raises his eyebrows.
"No. Not me and the Seeker." He puts his mug on the table and turns to the window. Varric leans in, grinning.
"But you want it to be." Varric laughs. Trevelyan shakes his head, finishing his drink. He gets up and walks out of the tavern. Heading back to the keep. Cassandra notices that he's gone. She excuses herself from her friends and leaves. He's sitting on the wall that breaks up the high and the lower levels of the keep. His head is in his hands and he's in his own little world.
"A coin for your thoughts?" She sits next to him, she's so close that their touching slightly. He can feel an electric hum where their bodies make contact.
"Sorry, I didn't realise you were there." She smiles. "Nothing really, just needed some fresh air."
"You're doing a great job you know." He looks at her, questioningly. "As The Inquisitor." He sighs, almost a laugh.
"Thank you. Sometimes I really don't know what I'm doing. This is still all very knew to me. I've never been the leader of anything, I'm not entirely sure I'm cut out for it." She puts her hand on his forearm and squeezes gently.
"You're doing a fine job. It's new to all of us. We face different challenges everyday, but you take them in your stride. It's admirable." He turns his head to look at her. He can feel the electricity from her touch all through his body. He would do anything just to kiss her.
"You're the one who is admirable, Cassandra." Her eyebrow quirks and he smiles softly at her.
"What about me is admirable? If there is a battle, I fight. That's all that I do." He shakes his head.
"You're strong. You never back down from a challenge. Nothing seems to bother you, you're just..." He looks to the ground. "You're unlike any woman I've ever met. Admirable." A blush creeps to her cheeks and she smiles at the compliment.
"Plenty bothers me, Inquisitor."
"Trevelyan, please. Like what?" She smiles and nods, she wants to tell him everything that bothers her. Varric, Sera, her recruits, her inability to write poetry, her standoffish demeanour. She wishes she was more like him, polite and gentle, well spoken and looked up to.
"I don't trust people as much as I probably could. The way my life has played out, it just..." She removed her hand from his arm. Interlocking her own hands. "Jaded me." Just as he was going to speak, a very drunk Iron Bull comes bursting out of the tavern, finding a spot along the wall to empty the contents of his stomach. You would think someone of his size would be able to hold a drink, Sera can out-drink the man and she's less then half the size.
Cassandra stands and stifles a yawn. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Trevelyan, but I should probably retire." He gives her a nod and stands.
"Goodnight, my lady." She smiles and walks away. Her thoughts are clouded in him. He has a way with being able to get her to open up, but she's hyper-aware of it and builds a wall that isn't needed. She put her hand to her forehead and shakes her head. What's wrong with her? Jaded. That's right.
The next day, Trevelyan was as busy as he's ever been. Reports for Josephine were coming through thick and fast and there just didn't seem to be enough hours in the day. Cole was upset and kept appearing to Trevelyan to talk. He didn't want to be rude so he tried to help Cole as much as he could. He decided to take a small break and head to the tavern for a meal. Walking across the training yard, he tried hard not to look over at Cassandra training the recruits, he did well not thinking about her for most of the day but he knew resistance was futile. Inside the tavern, Varric was having a heated conversation with Iron Bull about Varric's books. Bull thought, if Cassandra likes them then he'd give them a shot, now he couldn't stop. Trevelyan laughed to himself. He got lost in his thoughts, Cassandra played on his mind. If he was honest to himself, he knew he was excited about the one night trip to The Hinterlands tomorrow, it gave him and chance to spend a little bit of time with Cassandra. It's the same every time when they're camping, Varric, or whoever they're traveling would always had a few to many drinks and were asleep early or Solas who was sensible and just went to sleep anyway, abandoning their shifts for the watch, so it left Cassandra and Trevelyan, alone.
The night flew by and he finally was done with his reports. He bathed and packed some of his stuff for the trip, feeling exhausted he had a peaceful sleep, until he started dreaming about Cassandra but something was different. He heard her calling his name, she seemed to be in pain but he couldn't find her. He walked the halls of Skyhold, searching, his name grew louder and louder but then all of a sudden stopped. He walked into a room, there was Cassandra, on the bed and covered in sweat holding a baby. His eyes grew in astonishment.
"Trevelyan, meet your son." She said with a grin. A wave of happiness flushed over him, then he woke up. He sat straight up in bed, why would he dream about something like that. He found himself wondering what it would be like, to have a child but for that child to also be Cassandra's. He smiled but then caught himself and frowned. What would she think if she saw what he'd dreamt. She would probably laugh at him, pity him.
As they saddled up their horse that morning, Cassandra was unusually happy. She spoke to Varric without insulting him, she told Solas that she admires his attitude, everything seemed off. Trevelyan climbed atop his horse, Cassandra came up beside him on hers and smiled, he tried but he couldn't look her in the eye. She noticed and was confused, almost hurt. What did she do? She lead the group out onto the bridge out of Skyhold, there was about 27 hours between them and The Hinterlands. This was going to make for an interesting 27 hours.
Trevelyan fell back to the back of the group. Iron Bull and Cassandra were idly chatting at the front and a small wave of jealousy washed over him. His scowl caught the attention of Varric and he couldn't leave it alone of course.
"Trouble in paradise?" Varric asked, with an eyebrow raised. Trevelyan looked over at him, and rolled his eyes.
"There is no paradise to have trouble in, Varric. Leave it alone." He turned his head back toward the road ahead and tried to ignore Varric but the dwarve wouldn't have it.
"You need to do something about it..." Nothing in response from Trevelyan. "You know, she's not going to wait forever." This he couldn't ignore.
"What do you mean, Varric. Wait for what?"
"For you, you big idiot. She's had eyes for you since the moment you met. Don't try and deny it, think of how many times she's put herself in harms way just for you."
"I'm the Inquisitor, she swore to protect me so I can close the breach." Varric rolled his eyes with a groan.
"You really are an idiot. That's not all it comes down to, Trev. She likes you, a lot. I sit in the tavern, looking out of the window enough to notice how many times she looks up at the tower to your window and blushes or smiles. She walks differently when she walks away from you, she walks with more..." He gestures a swaying motion with his hands. "Sway to her hips. Even the way she talks to you, her accent get thinker, she talks slower, sexier. It's all for you, my friend. Hurry up and do something about it, before it's too late or Bull sweeps her away." Trevelyan thought about it, he does notices the way she walks is a bit different when she walks away from him, thinking it was just a coincidence.
Later that day, they'd found a small clearing in the Forrest to camp for the nice. Trevelyan lit a fire and Bull set up their bedrolls and tents. The five of them sat around and talked a little while Bull and Varric drank themselves into a stupor. Thank the Maker that both of their fighting abilities weren't compromised by the effects of alcohol. Trevelyan excused himself and disappeared into the brush of the forest. Cassandra was still sore from his actions before they left Skyhold, she was trying hard not to let it get to her, but Maker did it get to her. The night grew on and Solas had taken himself to sleep, Varric had passed out long ago and Bull had taken to his tent. Cassandra kept the fire burning, she started to worry about Trevelyan, he'd been gone for quite some time.
As she was sharpening her sword, she heard a small rustling sound in the bushes across the came. She started to get ready for bandits to appear, just as her hand took the hilt of her sword Trevelyan stepped out of the trees. She sighed in relief and looked back down to her sword.
"My lady." She heard him say but ignored him. "Cassandra, please." She huffed and threw her sharpening stone down next to her.
"What do yo-..." She looked up at him, stopping her words when she saw him standing there with a bunch of red wild flowers, held out to her. "Trevelyan? What are these for?" She tried to hold her smile back as he sat next to her.
"I know they're not as beautiful as you but, do you like them?" He was looking straight her. She spoke very softly, he almost couldn't hear her.
"I love them." She looked up into his eyes. "Why?" He smiled. Keeping the contact with her eyes.
"I feel bad about this morning, I do apologise. I don't really know how to explain myself. I want to explain myself, I don't know where to start." He put his hands on his face and sighed. She couldn't imagine what was so troubling to explain, but she wanted to hear it.
"Start at the beginning." She suggested, and he gave a short laugh, stifled by his hands. He put them on his knees and rubbed them nervously.
"Yeah, the beginning." He looked around the camp, notices that it was just her and him. It's always the same when they were travelling. He was grateful for it. "It seems as though, I have undeniable feelings, for you. The moment I woke in the cell and saw the passion in your eyes, the passion for the cause and for the people, passion for the Devine. I saw a hard, strong woman, but I also saw a gentle, compassionate and kind woman. A peacemaker, someone who took no commands but also gave none." He looked at her. Her eyes wide in surprise. "A woman who I knew in that moment that I wanted to be around, a woman I could trust, a woman that makes me believe in myself, because she believes in me. The thing is Cassandra, I care for you. A lot more than you or anyone else would think. This morning, it had really come to light, I fully realised how much I care for you. I didn't mean to confuse, or upset you but I suppose I didn't want to make that fact obvious, as not to get let down."
"Trevelyan. I had not idea." He stood up, walking around the fire. She put the flowers by her side.
"Please, I'm not finished." She watched him. "Cassandra, last night I had a dream. The content of this dream, it scared me but it made me feel happiness and delight, all the same. I was ashamed of the dream because well, I thought it impossible, I thought it frivolous considering the lives we live and that we don't have a relationship that would even bring us remotely close to that reality." She stood up, walking to him and continued to watch him.
"What was the dream, Trevelyan...?" She swallowed the lump in her through. His head dropped.
"You were having my child." He said, in a low whisper. Her eyes widened, she couldn't help a small smile that he didn't seem, thank the Maker.
"Oh, Trevelyan. I had no idea." He turned away from her. His head hung low. She frowned.
"I'm sorry." She put his hand on his shoulder, trying to turn him to face her.
"Now let me tell you something." She said, finally able to turn his body to face her. "For months, I have been trying to get your attention. I have been trying to get you to recognise, the little things that I do just for you. No body else. I have noticed that you...stare at my backside when I walk away. So I walk with purpose. I've notice the way you watch my lips when I talk, almost exclusively, so I talk slower and I emote with my lips, for you. I've never had a man who, without even knowing it, makes me feel sexy, wanted and Maker damn it, like a woman." His eyes were boring into hers now. She had taken his hand, sometime when they were talking, he can still feel the electricity running through his arm. "I want you to know that, I care for you too, Trevelyan. I have since the day in that cell, I didn't want myself to enjoy your company, I didn't want myself to feel safe and protected in your presence. Learning of your innocence gave me so much relief."
With that, he took her cheek in his hand, and kissed her. He kissed her tenderly but with more passion than he thought he could muster. His mind was reeling, he never thought this possible. Oh how things could change in just a few hours. She felt him smile on her lips and deepened their kiss.
"Finally!" They heard Varric call from his bedroll on the other side of camp.
Please let me know what you think, or if you want me to continue. Sorry about any spelling of punctuation remarks. I'm not the best writer :)