Love lives on

disclaimer: You recognize them, I don't own them

After six years of being a widower, Spencer Reid thought that he would have gotten used to waking up alone. The king sized bed was huge for one person but sometimes, Space was needed when one had a six-year-old, a Great Dane and a Labrador.

On this particular morning, Reid woke up to find himself tightly clutching Derek's old pillow. He supposed he had reached out for him in the middle of the night… Again.

"Papa?" Theodora appeared in the doorway. "Oliver woke me up." She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That mean Oliver! Well, where's Brontë?" Reid sat up. He noticed their great Dane sprawled across the front of the bed. "Or maybe she's right here." He held his arms open. "Come on Teddy. Give me a good morning hug."

The little girl launched herself towards his bed. Then, she wrapped him in the biggest hug she could possibly manage.

"Papa. Tell me about daddy." Teddy snuggled against him. "Auntie Penn said he was the greatest man ever."

"He was, little one." Reid closed his eyes,willing himself to be lost in his memory. "You have his eyes." Gently, he ran his fingers through her hair. "You're just like him."

"I am?" Teddy laid her head on Reid's chest. "Tell me more, Papa!"

"He had to have four marshmallows in his hot chocolate. He hated tomatoes. And like you, he had a great big heart." Reid wasn't sure what else to tell her. There was so much to Derek Morgan that it was hard to pick just a few things to tell her. "He never met you but he was so excited. We didn't know if you were going to be a boy or girl and all he could say was I want a little girl with brown eyes named Teddy. Theodora is a very large name for a little girl but he knew that's what you were."

"Do you think I make him proud, Papa?"

"I don't doubt that for one second, Teddy." He lightly pressed his lips to her forehead. "You are everything he could've ever wanted."

When they had embarked on the journey with Penelope Garcia, It had been understood that they were to be co-parents. Their values were similar. All they had wanted was a healthy baby to raise and love and be there. There was no way they could've seen Derek Morgan dying just two months before the baby's birth.

"Papa, I wish I could've met him." Teddy sniffled back tears. "I think I would've loved him."

"I think you would have too." Reid squeezed her. "Why don't you get some clothes on and we'll go visit him? "

Reid had never taken Teddy to the cemetery. He wasn't sure she was ready. Six was so young. Could she understand what it meant to visit him?

Raising Teddy had been the most difficult thing Reid had ever done. Before, a bad decision was something that he could usually come back from. Now, a bad decision could hurt the most important person in his life. Even with Garcia there, he still had to be careful with Teddy.

The drive to the cemetery was strangely quiet. Normally, Teddy babbled on about anything and everything. Today was different.

"Papa, I hope Daddy likes my flower," Teddy said, holding out the sunflower she had picked from their front yard. "Did he plant these?"

"He did with Auntie Penn. He planted them the day we found out you were in Auntie Penn's tummy." Reid glanced back. "Are you sure you can do This?"

"Papa, I'm six. Luci went to visit her gramps in Florida alone. If she can fly, I can go to a cemetery." She rolled her eyes.

"Theodora, don't roll your eyes. It's impolite."

As difficult As it was, Reid knew that he had a lasting piece of Derek. Everything Teddy did reminded him of Derek in some way. This wasn't the way he had imagined life but he made the best of it. Teddy was a gift, a lasting memory of what they had lost.

"Papa, when we get there, can you give me and daddy some alone time please?" Teddy clutched the flower stem in her little hand.

"Of course." He parked adjacent to the curb. "First, let me show you where it is and then you can talk to him all you want."

Grabbing her by the hand, he led her to a small stone in the clearing.

"This is called a grave." He squeezed her hand lightly. "Once someone goes to heaven, we bury them in a grave. And it's a place where we can come and talk to them, remember them and make sure they live in our hearts." Once Teddy was settled, Reid backed away.

Glancing down at his wrist, he realized that he had forgotten his watch. This made it difficult to know how much time had passed since they arrived at the cemetery.

About 15 minutes later, Teddy bounded over to him.

"Papa, I'm done!"

"Okay, Teddy. Stay right here while daddy and I have a conversation."

Falling to his knees, he rested his head against the cool marble of the stone.

"Hey Derek. It's, Me," Spencer said. "Logic says you're gone. My heart doesn't believe that. Every day Teddy is growing to be more like you. She's going to be an amazing young woman. Thank you for giving me her since you had to leave." A tear threatens to fall from his eye but Reid contained it.

"I wish I knew what you would do." Trembling, he lightly traced the imprint of Morgan's name. "I just miss you. You were supposed to help me with our daughter. I find myself wondering every day what life would be like if you were here. We'd probably have a second child and be living the all American dream." Turning his head, he noticed how patiently Teddy sat leaning against the Old tree. "We will be by more often. I think Teddy's going to need you."

Struggling to his feet, he moved towards his daughter.

"You ready to go home, little one?" He asked, leaning his hand against Teddy's shoulder.
"Can we get ice cream on the way home?"

Reid checked his watch. It was 10 AM.

"If ice cream is what you want, Then you can have it."

After all, you only lived once.