It was a sunny day in what looked like a furnished campground. A young man with shaggy black hair, a chin beard, and piercings on his lip and right ear stood in front of a cabin. He wore a long sleeved grey shirt under a blue t-shirt with a ninja face design plastered on. "Hello, one and all!" The man said. "My name is Damian Dillion and I will be your host for another crazy, exciting season of Total Drama!" Damian continued to walk around the campground to reveal more cabins, a mess hall, a swingset, along with an open field and a dirt road. "Now, you may be asking. 'Damian. Why aren't we on Wawanakwa?' Well, we would be. But, if you recall last season, Total Drama All-Stars, Chris McLean sank the entire damn island. Like...how?" Damian inhaled and exhaled. The host then walked down to a small lake, surrounded by other cabins. "So we've moved to a new location!"
The view was then changed to a map of North America. An arrow traveled to south western Ontario. "This new location is the Hanwi campground on the border of the Canadian province of Ontario and the American state of Minnesota." Damian walked back up the giant clearing. "But enough about me. It's time to introduce our brand new cast. We have twenty two new contestants arriving. Suddenly a large bus drove up to the campground, the door opened to reveal Chef Hatchet as the bus driver.
The first camper began to walk off of the bus. She was a tiny ginger girl. She wore a green turtleneck, blue pants, and pale blue shoes. Before she got off the bus, she tripped and landed on the ground.
Damian bent down to check on the girl. "Uh...Kari? Are you alright?" The host asked.
The ginger quickly stood up. "U-um, I'm okay! I'm okay! I'm sorry! I just have the worst luck…" Kari mumbled quietly.
"Alright." Damian continued. "Just stand over there." Damian pointed to the left.
Kari nodded and walked away, almost tripping again.
Next was a mid-height black boy. He had short brown hair and a chin beard. His attire consisted of a long-sleeved, mud brown shirt, dark blue pants, wolf slippers, paw gloves, a fake tail and an imitation wolfskin cap. "Grrrraww!" The boy growled.
"Hello, Marcus." Damian said calmly.
"Hush, human!" The boy barked. "My name is not Marcus. It is Moonclaw. I'm a vicious wolf. Ready to strike in the shadows. Aoaoooo!" Moonclaw howled.
"Yes, yes. Go stand over by the ginger girl over there." Damian pointed at Kari.
Moonclaw bounded over to the small girl and began sniffing.
"Wh-what's wrong?" Kari shrieked. "I showered this morning!"
"You seem nice!" Moonclaw said gruffly. "But you seem quiet."
"Y-you got that from..smelling me?" Kari asked, confused.
Moonclaw nodded. "Being a wolf, I have heightened senses. RAAAWWR!"
Kari screamed in terror.
A short, freckled, white girl walked onto the campground. She had sandy brown hair in a bob cut and wore a blue short sleeved shirt, dusty jeans, sandals, and a straw hat. "Howdy, Damian." The girl said in a thick southern American accent.
"Hey, Diana." Damian smiled. "How are you feeling?"
"Ah'm feelin' mighty good, if'n I do say so myself. Thanks fer askin'." Diana smiled back as she walked over to Moonclaw. "Whassup?" She asked.
"Ah, hello country bumpkin." Moonclaw chuckled. "I hope you don't plan on hunting. Oh wait. It isn't wolf season. Wait again. It never is! Us wolves are too deadly and conniving for that kind of thing!"
"Well, uh, I don't hunt." Diana shrugged. "I'd much rather just relax in a field than shoot stuff. But, uh….what's all'a this business?" The country girl pointed at Moonclaw's attire.
"Oh, this? Well….I'm a wolf." Moonclaw chuckled nervously. "So of course I have claws, paws, a tail….Rawwwr!"
Diana raised an eyebrow. "Whatever. Just don't eat me." Diana giggled a bit.
"No promises." Moonclaw said with a small laugh.
Damian began to speak once more. "Next we have-"
"Duuuuuude…" A tall, chubby white boy said as he walked off of the bus. He had shaggy brown hair and a soul patch of matching color. He wore a greyish teal blazer with rolled up sleeves, a white t-shirt that read "Keg Me", blue jeans, grey sneakers, a pink wristband on his left wrist, and a red snapback which was worn backwards.
"Yes." Damian continued. "Welcome to Total Drama-"
"Woah, dude!" The boy said as he ran over to Moonclaw. He began to pet the boy's hat. "Duuuude…"
"Hey! Don't touch my pelt, man!" Mooclaw snapped.
"Naw. Dude." The boy replied.
"H-hi…" Kari said meekly, walking up to the large boy. "Wh-what's your name?"
"Dude." The boy said.
"That's it?" Diana asked, confused. "Just Dude?"
"I think we made him mad…" Kari mumbled.
"Ch'ya. Dude." The boy known as 'Dude' said, pointing to himself.
The other three contestant looked at each other, confused.
A mid-height white girl jumped out of the bus. The girl had shortish, spiked black hair which was dyed blue in the front and green in the back. She wore heavy makeup on her face, consisting of pink hearts on her cheeks and a large amount of eyeliner, along with a nose piercing and a number of earrings. Her attire consisted of a spiked collar around her neck, a dark grey leather jacket, a torn black shirt, grey fingerless gloves, purple pants, and black combat boots. "Let's fucking rock!" The girl shouted loudly.
"Everyone." Damian announced. "This is Jynxie."
"You're damn right, it is!" Jynxie yelled. "Who's ready to fucking party!?"
"Duuuuude!" Dude shouted.
Jynxie bounded over to the frat boy. "This guy knows what's up! What about the rest of you?!"
Kari shook in fear. "Are you going to hurt me?" She asked.
"Hell no, girl!" Jynxie replied. "We're just here to have fun! Party nation!" Jynxie ran towards a tree and gave it a swift kick, which shook a pinecone off of a higher branch. Said pinecone fell towards the ground and hit Kari in the head.
"Ouch." Kari whimpered.
"Aw shit, I'm sorry." Jynxie apologized.
"It's not your fault. I have awful luck…" Kari frowned.
"Oh...Well what about you two?!" Jynxie shouted at Moonclaw and Diana. "You ready to rock?!"
"YEAH! RAWWRRAOOOO!" Mooclaw howled.
"Yeah, sure. Ah'm up fer that." Diana replied calmly.
Next to arrive was semi-tanned, mid-height boy. He had curly brown hair and donned a black fedora, a dark green tanktop, jean shorts, light brown sandals and a golden cross necklace. He wore a smile both confident and excited.
"Richy!" Damian said happily. "Welcome to Total Drama. We received your thank you email when you were alerted of your acceptance."
"This. Is. Awesome!" Richy said with joy. "I can't believe I'm actually on Total Drama! This is been a dream of mine!" Richy then spoke more quietly, and to himself. "Now, to make some social connections."
The boy walked up to the small crowd and smiled. "Hello. The name is Richard Diaz. Reality television buff extraordinar. But please, call me Richy."
"Howdy, Richy." Diana smiled and tipped her hat.
"What. Is. Up. Richy?!" Jynxie shouted, shaking Richy by his shoulders.
"Whoa." Richy chuckled. "You're crazy. I like it."
"Damn right, you do!" Jynxie punched the boy in the arm.
Richy then walked up to Dude. "Hello." He smiled. "And you are?"
"Dude." Dude grinned.
"I...see…" Richy raised an eyebrow, before walking over to Kari. "Hey there." He greeted.
"H-hi…" She mumbled.
"Everything okay?" Richy asked.
"Mhm...Just...lots of loud people…" Kari replied.
"Yeah, I get that… Well, that adds to the fun, doesn't it?"
"I don't know…" Kari said awkwardly.
"Uh...huh…" Richy then walked over to Diana. "Hey so listen. You're the only one here so far that seems to be level headed. I didn't even talk to the wolf kid and I know he's mad."
Meanwhile, Moonclaw was roaring at Jynxie, who screamed back.
"Yeah? And?" Diana asked.
"I think we should form an alliance." Richy suggested.
"Eh, I don't think ah'm ready fer that, yet." Diana shrugged. "Maybe later. But I don't wanna be workin' like crazy right now."
"Ah...I see...no matter...huh… Cool to be on Total Drama, though, right?" Richy smiled.
"Damn right. 'S great!" Diana nodded.
A short Asian girl walked off the bus next. She had short black hair and wore square glasses, a tucked in sea-green dress shirt, a blue bowtie, blue jeans with a brown belt and grey dress shoes. She looked at the six other campers with discontent.
"Ew. Looks at all these...white people…" The girl cringed. "Maybe some of them are trans."
"Hey, Xena! Welcome to-" Damian said before being interrupted.
"Shut it, cishet oppressor." Xena quickly said, before walking up to Moonclaw, who was watching a bug. "Are you a wolfkin?" She asked, now with a smile.
"Uh...what's that?" Moonclaw asked.
"You know. A wolfsouled human being." Xena replied.
"Oh, yeah! I'm one of those!" Moonclaw nodded.
"There we go! A black wolfkin! Something different. Better than all of these cis white people! Yuuuuck! Have fun in the patriarchy!" Xena ranted.
"Uh, in regards to your 'patriarchy' comment, my dad actually took my mom's name. And I'm also half Puerto Rican, so…" Richy said before being hushed by Xena.
"Are you cisgendered?" Xena asked.
"Uh...yeah." Richy said.
"Are you straight?" Xena asked once again.
"I was bicurious in middle school. But yeah, I'm straight." Richy shrugged.
"Then you still have privilege and you need to check it, okay? Okay." Xena patted Richy's face, before slapping him.
"Then what's your...situation?" Richy crossed his arms.
"Well." Xena began. "ATTENTION!" She then shouted, and the other six turned to her. "Just to avoid any misgendering! I am an Asian, pansexual, genderfluid non-binary. My pronouns either are her/she/her or they/them/their. Most often than not I go by her/she/her, though. Hopefully that should clear everything up. Just so there isn't any bigoted confusion…" Xena narrowed her eyes at Richy and Dude specifically.
"Well, it's mighty good ta meet ya, though." Diana smiled. "What's yer name?"
"I'm Xena...Ew, you're from the south." Xena cringed.
"Uh, what does that mean?" Diana looked confused.
"I hope you don't plan on lynching me for not adhering to your cishet white Christian standards." Xena spat.
"Uh…" Diana stammered.
"Whatever, bigot." Xena groaned.
Diana looked at Moonclaw, who shrugged, then at Richy who shook his head.
The next camper to arrive, jumped out of the bus. The camper was a tall, very pale boy. He had spiky black hair, oddly red eyes and what looked like fake fangs in his mouth. He wore a black suit with a white dress shirt underneath, and a black ensemble of dress pants, dress shoes, and a vampiric cape.
"Hello, mortals!" The boy said brashly, a twisted grin on his face.
"Hello, Salem." Damian greeted. Salem hissed at the host in response.
"Now, I must converse, host!" Salem said before cackling, but doing so caused his fangs to fall off. "Oh jeez!" The boy quickly picked the teeth up, wiped them off and put them back into his mouth.
"Yoooo!" Jynxie yelled. "You're fucking rad! What's all this vampire shit?!"
"Fool! I'm actually a vampire!" Salem shouted.
"Dude!" Dude said excitedly to Xena.
"What? It's just another white male begging for attention. We get it. You wanna stay in charge." Xena griped.
"Wait! Hold up!" Jynxie began. "If you're a vampire, why aren't you burning like crazy? It's sunny as fuck!"
"You obviously don't know about vampires!" Salem cackled. "My powers are simply weakened in the sun. You do not want to encounter me in the night. That's when I feed!"
"I'll watch out for that! Hahahaha!" Jynxie laughed loudly.
Salem chuckled nervously.
Another camper walked onto the campground. It was a shortish, slightly tanned, white girl white green hair and eyebrows. She wore a purple flower crown on her head, a flowing pink shirt, brown vest, shabby beige pants,dark blue bracelets, and no shoes.
"Flora! Welcome to Total Drama Cabin Fever." Damian smiled.
"Cooool, man. Cooool…" Flora said spacily.
"Finally. Someone who looks alternative. Eh, you're white. But I can think we can manage." Xena smiled.
"What, man?" Flora asked.
"Are you a hippie?" Xena wondered.
"Oh yeah, dude. I'm all about love and peace for the good of the earth. All of mother nature's children should get together and end all this hate." Flora said with a spacey smile.
"Duuuude." Dude nodded.
"Woooaahhh…" Flora droned, walking over to Dude. "You totally get me. You're so...spiritual. I can sense it in your chi."
"Woooahh…" Dude smiled.
"Uh. Excuse me." Xena grew impatient.
"Woah, bro." Flora said to Moonclaw. "You look, like, so in tune with nature…"
"What do you mean? I'm a wolf. RAAWWR!" Moonclaw growled. Causing Kari, who was right next to him to scream again.
Flora patted Kari on the shoulder. "Yo, little sapling. Don't be scared of nature. It's how the world turns and all that."
"U-uh...um...nature has it out for me…" Kari squeaked.
"Naw, man. That's just the man trying to get you down." Flora said. "But this guy." Flora put her hands on Moonclaw. "This guy gets it. He's against the system and is one with the earth and how it's chi flows…"
"Uh...what?" Moonclaw looked confused.
The next contestant was a bit interesting. The contestant was fairly tall, extremely bulky and appeared to be made of metal. Shining red with a blue core in the center of its chest cavity, along with grey hands and feet. The mechanism appeared to have a black screen for a face in front of a shining red head. On the green were two green dots, simulating eyes. Following the odd being was two scientists, one a mid-height white girl with red hair and glasses. The other a tall, older looking black man with grey hair and small glasses.
"Hello, Dr. Aspen. Dr. Hemlock." Damian greeted, shaking both scientists' hands. "So, I assume this is Stratbot?"
"A fucking robot?!" Jynxie said, excitedly. "Hell fucking yeah!"
"Greeting. I am Stratbot." The robot said in a calm voice. "I will make sure to use everything I have downloaded to win this competition."
"Indeed." The female scientist said. "Stratbot is ready for testing. Right now, we have even beaten the Japanese in terms of our further advances in human-like robotics."
"Then why doesn't it look human?" Damian asked.
"Because human-looking robots are fucking terrifying." The male scientist cringed. "But. The challenge strength of DJ. The strategic knowhow of Alejandro. The mental strength of Noah. And the social skills, minus the lowbrow garbage of Owen. We believe Stratbot will be the ultimate test of human qualities in modern robotics."
"Uh, excuse me." Xena raised her hand.
"Yeah?" The female scientist said, raising an eyebrow.
"What are Stratbot's gender pronouns? I don't want to misgender them."
"Well, we just say Stratbot is a guy. His frame is more masculine, the voice chip is of a more masculine model, and it's just easier." The male scientist shrugged.
"Ugh. There goes my hopes of an agender contestant." Xena grumbled.
"Alright." The female scientist finished. "I think our work is done here. Good luck Stratbot." She patted the robot's shoulder and returned to the bus with the male scientist.
Stratbot walked over to the crowd. "Hello, everyone. I am Stratbot."
"Yoyoyoyoyo! Hold up!" Jynxie shouted. You're a fucking robot?!"
"Yes, I am. I was created-" Stratbot stated before being interrupted.
"That's so fucking awesome!" Jynxie screamed. "Can you shoot lasers?!"
"No. But I can do this!" Stratbot unscrewed his head and proceeded to use it akin to a hacky sack. He then kicked it back onto his body. "Cool, huh?"
"Awesome!" Jynxie said, hugging the android.
"DUUUUDE!" Dude shouted.
"Broooooo!" Stratbot said in response. "What is your name, by the way?" Stratbot said to Jynxie, who was still embracing him.
"Oh! I'm Jynxie!" The punk girl said with a smile.
"I have an idea!" Stratbot said excitedly.
"Ooh! Ooh! What?!" Jynxie shouted.
The robot's tone grew a bit more quiet. "We should align. But keep it secret. It's a seeeecreeet."
"Can do! Awesome!" Jynxie let go of Stratbot, who was then pulled away by Richy.
"So, I assume you've got a lot of strategic info in that robo-brain of yours?" Richy asked.
"Yes, I do." Stratbot said in a cheery tone. "It's almost like I was made to win this game."
"Well...how about we align?" Richy grinned. "We could totally dominate this game. I know how this show works left and right."
"Sounds good. We will, as you said, dominate. Or rather, mow down the competition." Stratbot then emitted a lawnmower sound effect, causing Richy to jump. The automaton chuckled. Richy playfully punched the robot on the shoulder.
"I like you already." Richy chuckled.
A mid-height, voluptuous white girl walked onto the campground. She had bright, multicolored hair, oddly pink eyes, and variety of different piercings. She wore a small light blue sweater with a lighter blue dress shirt underneath, blue yoga pants, brown shoes, and a bright pink bow. She smirked confidently.
"No fear! No fear! Your winner is here." The girl said with a smile.
"Well, we'll see, Suzy." Damian chuckled. "But glad to have you here."
"Of course you are. I'm gonna win the heart of everyone here and everyone at home." Suzy boasted.
"Woah, man. Your hair is psychedelic." Flora said, feeling Suzy's hair.
"Thank you." Suzy smiled. "I know it's perfect."
"You seem really alternative. I love it!" Xena said happily.
"Uh. What does that mean?" Suzy asked.
"What pronouns do you go by?" Xena asked.
"Uh..I'm a girl. Can't you tell by these babies?" Suzy grabbed her large breasts.
Xena blushed. "Oh my. Well. You shouldn't be selling your body. That's giving into the patriarchy!"
"Yeah yeah. I don't sell my body. Really. The only one worthy is my boyfriend Duncan." Suzy shrugged.
"You don't mean that misogynist punk, do you?" Xena growled.
"You mean the super hot punk." Suzy giggled.
"Honestly." Richy butted in. "Duncan's overrated. Yeah, he's cool. But I'm kinda sick of him. He's M.O.R.N. in every season and a screenhog. It's old news. Although his M.O.R.P. edit in All-Stars was refreshing."
"What in the hell are you talking about?" Xena spat.
"My super hot boyfriend, obviously." Suzy rolled her eyes.
The bus doors forcefully swung open as the next camper arrived. It was a fairly tall white boy with spiked white hair and a small black mustache. His outfit was not unlike one of an old movie villain. A grey/black ensemble of a grey dress shirt, dark grey pants, black dress shoes, a dramatic black cape, and a black top hat. The boy cackled loudly. "Fools! Your winner has arrived! Prepare to all bow to the power and might of evil!"
"Yes, yes, Lance." Damian said with a chuckle. "Please. Go talk to the others."
Lance stepped over to the other contestants and grinned. He then noticed Salem and ran over to the vampire boy. "Ah, a vampire. A true symbol of the dark and wicked!"
Salem flinched a bit before regaining his composure. "Oh! Um, yes! Hahaha! I am a vampire, good sir!" Salem cackled.
"We should work together." Lance grinned. "We could claim this game in the name of evil!"
"I think not. I work alone." Salem said, before hissing. He then laughed gleefully.
Lance scowled. "I see how it is, vampire. We shall be enemies, then. Mark my words. I shall crush you…"
"Whoa Stratbot! Check that dude out!" Jynxie said loudly.
"Uh...he is...interesting." Stratbot said awkwardly.
Lance rushed over to Jynxie. "What are you saying about me?! Are you making fun of me?! That would be a grave mistake, madam!" Lance hissed.
Jynxie responded by pulling the boy's top hat over his eyes and giggling. Lance growled angrily and took the hat off of his head. It was then he noticed Stratbot standing over him. "Are...are you a robot?" Lance asked, shakily.
"Yes. I am Stratbot. It's nice to meet you." Stratbot extended his hand. Lance carefully shook it. "So." Stratbot continued. "What is...um...all this?"
"Oh, you must not have heard, robot! But I am going to be this game's villain! Mwahahaha! I plan on mowing down every goody-goody fuck in this game to ensure another villain victory! And you're going to help me!"
"Wait, what?" Strabot said, confused.
"Well, the vampire won't assist me. And I need a minion! And what better minion for evil is there than a robot?!" Lance shouted.
"So...an alliance?" Stratbot asked.
"Of course!" Lance smiled wickedly. "We will rule this game together…"
"Sounds good to me!" Stratbot gave the white haired boy a thumbs up.
A girl was the next to step onto the grounds. She was fairly short, white, and had sandy brown hair in pigtails. She wore a maroon tracksuit, red yoga pants, light grey sneakers, maroon fingerless gloves, and a white and red headband.
"Welcome, Winona!" Damian greeted.
"Hey, Damian! So psyched to be here!" Winona grinned cheerily. "Will there be any sport challenges? My friend Ginny is adding me to my 'reality tv athlete list and charts'. It's gonna be great!"
"Hey, man. Sports are all just fussy competition. Let's just all be chill." Flora smiled.
"But. Isn't that the point of this game? A big competition. Besides sports are fun." Winona smiled.
"Dancing is, like, a sport, right?" Flora asked. "Because I see dancing as, um, a way to connect this world and the next." Flora began to sway her arms and body.
Winona backed up a bit, unsure. She ended up running into Richy. Richy stumbled back and accidentally knocked Kari over.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Winona said to Kari.
"Yeah, I-I'm fine." Kari replied quietly. "This happens all the time."
"What? Do you have bad balance?" Winona asked.
"Try bad luck." Kari mumbled.
"Oh that's unfortunate. Well, your luck can't be as bad as some athletes out there. Like, um...Greg Oden. It looked like he'd be the new all-star of the NBA. But the guy had to endure four different knee surgeries because he kept screwing his knee up." Winona explained. "Over five years, do you know how many games he played?"
"H-how many?" Kari asked.
"Eighty-two." Winona said.
"Is that not a lot?" Kari looked confused.
"That's roughly a season's worth of games. So no. That's not a lot." Winona shrugged.
"Oh…" Kari said, looking away.
Richy tapped Winona on the shoulder.
"Oh hi!" Winona smiled. "Sorry for bumping into you."
"It's fine. It's fine. I'm Richy." The boy smiled.
"Winona." Winona replied, shaking Richy's hand.
"That sweatsuit looks awfully familiar. In fact, it looks like Tyler's." Richy deduced.
"It is Tyler's." Winona smiled.
"Really?" Richy looked impressed. "How did you get that?"
"There was a raffle of various non-professional athlete memorabilia in my town. I won Tyler's sweatsuit he wore on TDI! Tyler and Lightning are my favorites!" Winona cheered.
"I assume you like athletes? Is that, like, an attraction thing?" Richy asked.
"Well, boys with muscles are hot. But not really. I just love sports and the people that play them. I even have charts about all sorts of different athletes!" Winona smiled.
Richy smirked.
A short white boy triumphantly jumped out of the bus. He had longish brown hair and wore a red t-shirt with a yellow 'L' on it, blue pants, grey shoes, along with a red mask over his eyes and a yellow cape. He put his hands on his hips and brimmed ear to ear.
"Hello, Luke." Damian smiled.
"Hey, Damian! I'm so excited to be here! I'm no doubt going to be the hero this game deserves!" Luke pointed to the sky with a smile.
Lance overheard Luke's speech and stormed over to him. "Oh, you're a hero, huh?" Lance growled.
Luke looked a bit shocked before replying. "Uh. Yes! Yes I am. And I assume with your...attire that you're a villain?" Luke asked.
"A villain?! Listen up, boy. I will be this game's main villain. And I will crush you like a bug! Evil will be victorious!" Lance hissed.
"We shall see!" Luke said hammily.
"Oh boy. The white boys are gonna kill each other. Finally." Xena rolled her eyes.
"Good. Let them." Suzy said, filing her nails. "I'm obviously the hero of this game. Not that little twerp."
"Will you leave me alone?" Xena barked to Suzy.
Another camper exited the bus. This time a short, chubby, Polynesian girl. She had long black hair and wore a black t-shirt with an apple design, a black wristband, dark blue sweatpants, and green shoes. She also appeared to be clutching a number of books.
"Pleasure to have you here-" Damian said, before being cut off by the girl.
"H-hi! Hi! Hello everyone! It's nice to meet you! I'm Chesney!" The girl said with a nervous chuckle.
"Nice to meet you, Chesney. I'm Winona." Winona smiled.
"Hi! It's great to meet you! Ehehehehe!" Chesney said frantically. Her eyes drifted away from Winona to focus on Salem, who was chatting with Diana. Chesney pushed the female athlete away and headed towards the vampire boy.
"And that's why garlic is considered the arsenic of the vampire world!" Salem said.
"Gosh, I never knew.." Diana said.
"H-hi-hel-Hiello!" Chesney said to Salem with a forced smile.
"Ah, hello." Salem smiled. "How are you, maiden?"
Chesney blushed like crazy. "So...are...are you a vampire?"
"Why yes I am! Hahahahahaha! I am a relentless demon of the night!" Salem cackled loudly.
"I can match that laugh with a howl!" Moonclaw said, running forward. "AAOOOOO!"
"Damn! Those are some lungs!" Salem said, impressed.
"I guess I'll just go." Diana chuckled.
Chesney looked at the two boys as if she were struck with awe.
"Is she okay?" Moonclaw asked Salem.
"I, um, do not know. Miss?" Salem waved a hand over Chesney's face.
The girl then came to. "Huh?! What?! WHO?! Oh...uh...I gotta go!" With that, Chesney ran off, leaving Moonclaw and Salem confused.
A tallish, rather suave looking white man was the next to step off of the bus. He wore a black coat over a purple collared vest, a deep red tie, purple pants, and stylish black shoes. He smiled confidently
"Greetings, peasants." The man chuckled. "True royalty has arrived."
"Ah, yes." Damian said. "Hello, Wulfric."
"That's your royal highness, prince Wulfric Ember Amadeus von Czar of Cyfrasia to you." Wulfric sneered. He turned his attention back to the crowd, noticed Chesney, and smirked. "Hello, there madam." The prince smiled, his voice a calm, accented baritone.
"H-h-h-hi. I'm…" Chesney extended her hand and dropped her books.
"Hm. It appears you like to read, eh?" Wulfric chuckled lightly, picking the girl's books up.
Chesney only nodded, extremely flustered.
Wulfric flipped through the books. "You sure like to read. That's good. Brains are always something nobles admire. Oho. And it appears you like the saucy stuff. 'Throbbing Lumberjack: A Lakehouse Fantasy'. Oh my, my dear...erm…" Wulfric opened the book to see Chesney's name scribbled inside the back cover. "Chesney Kalani." Wulfric closed the book and handed the stack back to the girl. She took them and clutched them tight as Wulfric walked away.
"Aw, my mellow's been harshed, bro." Flora said to Xena and Dude.
"Dude…" Dude nodded.
"Right? A rich white man. Using women like objects. Feh." Xena scowled.
"Not really that. Except the rich part, man." Flora replied. "He doesn't even need this money. We gotta win it for charities, dude."
"...Dude?" Dude pointed to himself, confused.
Luke ran up to Wulfric, beaming. "Woah! Are you a real prince?" He asked, full of wonder.
Wulfric chuckled once more. "Why yes, young man. I am. I am the noble heir to the throne of Cyfrasia. A small island near England."
"That's so cool!" Luke said happily. "If you ever have a princess that you need saved, just be sure to contact me. I'll be sure to save her! I'm a hero, of course."
"Well, thank you." Wulfric grinned.
A tallish, dark-skinned girl was the next to jump off the bus. She had bright pink hair and wore a traditional Japanese schoolgirl's uniform: a white shirt with blue trim, a maroon neckerchief, a blue skirt, light blue knee-high socks, and black shoes, along with a pair of round glasses.
"Kon'nichiwa, Hanwi!" The girl squealed happily. "I'm May!" The girl bounded over to the others.
"Hello." Xena smiled. "I'm Xena. It's feels so good to see someone like you here!"
"Like me?" May asked.
"You know. Someone who isn't a white man." Xena whispered.
"Oh, uh...Hey! Do you like anime?" May asked.
"I love anime!" Xena grinned.
"So do I! I love every genre! Especially shonen, believe it or not!" May smiled.
"I like the sports anime. Where all of the boys are gay." Xena giggled.
"Ooh, those are fun, too." May also giggled, blushing. "I'm May."
"Xena." Xena smiled.
"Why hello, hello, madam." Wulfric smirked, approaching May.
"Oh, hello." May smiled. "Did you wanna talk about anime with us?"
"I've only seen one Japanese cartoon in my life. That's Battle of the Colossus." Wulfric shrugged.
"Oh emm gee, I love Battle of the Colossus!" May clapped her hands.
"Wonderful to hear." Wulfric grinned. "I am prince Wulfric Ember Amadeus von Czar of Cyfrasia."
"I-I'm May…" May said giggling.
"I must say, madam. Your skin is gorgeous. From where do you hail?" Wulfric asked.
"Wow. Okay. That's fucking rude, you racist, privileged dick." Xena snapped at the prince. "You don't just ask someone their race."
"It wasn't discriminatory at all, miss." Wulfric scowled.
"It's alright, Xena." May said calmly. "I'm half black, half Indian, if you must know."
"A gorgeous combination, I must say." Wulfric said with a smooth smirk.
"You're disgusting." Xena growled to Wulfric.
"Urgh. You're a pain. I'm leaving." Wulfric groaned, then turned to May. "Adieu, madam. Perhaps we shall discuss Battle of the Colossus, sometime."
May sighed. "He reminds me of Prince Magician from Star Admiral."
"Time for our next camper!" Damian announced. "Please welcome Jack!"
A tall, built Native American boy walked out of the bus and onto the campsite. He had thick black hair tied into a ponytail and bright brown eyes. He wore a red collared shirt with rolled up sleeves, a black vest, black tie, black pants, a dark brown belt with a golden buckle and black shoes. He also had a golden earring on his left ear.
"Hey, what's up, Damian?" Jack smiled, shaking the host's hand.
"Hello, man." Flora greeted. "How has mother earth treated you?"
"Uh, good, I guess." Jack chuckled.
"Ooh, look at you!" Suzy said to Jack. "You look almost as perfect as me."
"What does that mean?" Jack asked, getting more and more confused.
"Look at all this. That majestic tan, that thick dark hair, you're tall." Suzy then knocked on Jack's stomach. "And, ooh, someone's got rock hard abs."
Jack grew a bit flustered. "W-well I do, but-"
"Unfortunately for you, even you wouldn't be able to handle my perfection. Only Duncan can." Suzy boasted.
"Duncan? From this show?" Jack asked.
"The very same." Suzy smiled.
Jack kept looking around and saw Stratbot. "Woah!" The boy excitedly ran over to the robot. "Are you a robot? Or just a guy in a suit?"
"I am in fact a robot. I am Stratbot. It is a pleasure to meet you." Stratbot greeted.
"Oh the pleasure is all mine." Jack shook the robot's hand. "I was on my school's robotics team during my Sophomore year."
"Oh fun! Wait. Why did you think I was a guy in a suit?" Stratbot asked.
"Have you seen some of these kids?" Jack asked, pointing to Moonclaw, Salem, May, Wulfric, Flora, Jynxie, Lance, and Luke. "All of them make it look like ComicCon on fucking Halloween." Jack then chuckled.
"I suppose you're right." Stratbot then chuckled.
"Woah, wait. Do you feel emotions?" Jack asked.
"Of course. I am the latest and greatest in human-like robotics." Stratbot pointed out.
"That's rad." Jack nodded, smirking.
The bus opened to reveal another contestant. It was a shortish, very pale girl. Her eyes were a very dark blue, almost as if they were purple. She had very long, large, and frazzled black hair and wore a large dark maroon shirt with long sleeves that had a purple flame-like design on the end. She also wore an even darker maroon skirt, purple leggings, and curled black shoes. The dark clad girl walked over to Damian, expressionless.
"Uh, welcome to Total Drama, Tara." Damian said, a bit wary.
Tara smiled eerily. "Hello, Damian." She said calmly. "Would you hold this for a second?" Tara pulled out a small vial on a string filled with blue powder.
"I know what your family does, so I don't know." Damian said, skeptical.
"It'll do no harm, trust me…" Tara grinned.
Damian grabbed the vial from the girl. Suddenly, it crumbled to dust in the host's hand, allowing the contents to spill and spread all of over. Soon, Damian's entire right hand was blue. He looked worried as he saw his hand, then scowled at the girl. Tara simply giggled and walked off.
"Hey, missy!" Luke said running up to Tara. "That is evil! You should do that!"
"Are you going to stop me?" Tara smirked.
"Yes I am!" Luke beamed.
Tara took out a small pile of a sparkling powder and blew it into Luke's face. "Have fun with that, hero."
Luke coughed up a storm. "Hey!" Once he was finished coughing, he laughed gleefully. "Oh, this is fun."
"Excuse me, miss." Lance tapped Tara's shoulder.
Tara looked up at the white haired villain. "Oh boy. Aren't you something."
"Uh...what does that mean?" Lance asked.
"Nothing. What do you want?" Tara wondered, raising an eyebrow.
"Are…" Lance looked around and then whispered. "Are you a witch?"
Tara giggled darkly. "One could say that. I am Wiccan."
"How would you like to join my league of evil, witch? I've already got the robot." Lance pointed to Stratbot, who Jynxie was using as a boombox.
"Sounds good." Tara grinned, tipping the boy's top hat.
Lance blushed and began chuckling nervously. He coughed loudly and regained his composure. "Uh, good! Good! Er...minion!"
Tara rolled her eyes and chuckled, before walking away.
The next to arrive was a large, lightly sun-tanned white man. He had short brown hair and a five o'clock shadow. He wore a sandy brown cowboy hat, a tan wifebeater, jeans, and brown work boots. All of his clothes looked dusty, as if he was working right before he showed up.
"Howdy, Garrett." Damian chuckled. "What brings you to Total Drama?"
"A millyan bucks. That's what brings me here." Garrett replied, his voice rough, with a southern American twang. "Th' only problem is all of the fuckin' freaks on this show." Garrett then took a look around. "Aw shit. And it looks like there are a lot of 'em."
Garrett dragged his feet onto the campground, where he was approached by Diana.
"Howdy, partner." Diana greeted. "I couldn't help but overhear ya. Somethin' troublin' ya?"
"What d'ya mean?" Garrett asked.
"Talkin' 'bout freaks and all that." Diana replied.
"Yeah. There are always weirdos on this fuckin' show! And look'it all'a these people." Garrett waved his hand around the campers.
"Aw, they ain't all bad." Diana said.
"Maybe ta you." Garrett crossed his arms.
"So, where ya from? Ya sound like ya got some south in ya." Diana smiled.
"Texas." Garrett grunted. "You?"
"I'm from Louisiana." Diana said. "It's always so relaxin'. Except durin' Mardi Gras."
"I hate Mardi Gras." Garrett groaned. "I don't need a bunch of French fruits in shiny outfits throwin' shit at me."
Jack then jumped into the conversation. "You've been to Mardi Gras, cowboy?" Jack chuckled. "I've never been. Is it fun?"
"Depends, Injin." Garrett replied. "Do ya like loud music and a bunch'a fuckin' weirdos screamin', pukin' and fuckin' in the street?"
"Doesn't sound awful." Jack shrugged.
"Ya know, you two seem normal. So I'm sure I'll tolerate ya. Not like all'a those goddamn freaks." Garrett rolled his eyes.
"I was actually just talking about that with the robot. There are so many weird people here." Jack laughed.
"Exactly. The fuckin' robot." Garrett grumbled.
Diana looked at the large man, a bit concerned.
Next up was a short, chubby white girl. She had very long, curly brown hair of varying shades and wore a dark greyish brown hoodie over a brown shirt, along with grey pants and matching grey shoes.
"Greeting, fellow competitors." The girl said. "I am Rapheala. I assume we will have a wondrous time in this competition. Let us not get our tensions too high, though, considering, at this point in time, we all have a 99.95% of losing this competition at the moment. However, those numbers will decrease eventually and worry will cease, yer balance, if you understand the conundrum of that scenario."
Dude looked confused and enlightened. "Dude…."
"Blah blah blah. Words words." Garrett groaned.
"This guy knows what's up." Suzy agreed, pointing to Garrett.
"Don't touch me." Garrett cringed.
"Ah, yes. A loud, in layman's terms 'redneck' and an extremely boastful young woman with obvious self-esteem issues." Rapheala deduced.
"What?" Suzy looked offended.
"What?!" Garrett quickly grew angry.
"I am sure, given your poor social skills, you two will no doubt be fairly early eliminations. No hard feelings, it is simply a fact by process of elimination. Ooh, I unintentionally made a pun. Although, given the male's stature, I am sure his team will want to keep him longer." Rapheala explained.
"What do you mean by that?" Garrett growled.
Rapheala sighed. "You're strong."
"...Oh…" Garrett realized.
"Hey! I'm still mad about what you said." Suzy snapped.
"Miss, it's all a matter of numbers and calculations. Nothing personal in the slightest. You can even thumb through my thesis on the matter determining eliminations in this televised program." Rapheala took a folded piece of paper out of her hoodie pocket, unfolded it and handed it to Suzy. The rainbow haired girl crumpled it up and tossed it to the ground.
"Ooh, she's smart!" May said, excitedly. "She reminds me of Mikan Kurusowa from Apocalypse Ice."
Damian waited for the next contestant to arrive, but nobody showed up after a number of minutes. "Uh...Chef?" Damian said. "Is there anyone else on the bus?"
"Only those two nerds that operate that robot." Hatchet said.
"Where the hell is he?" Damian scratched his head.
Suddenly, and individual on a motorcycle drove into the campground and stopped with a loud screech, kicking up mud, which happened to land on Kari.
"Aw." Kari whimpered.
The biker removed their helmet and got off the motorcycle. The biker was a mid-height white boy with dirty blonde colored hair, and a tiny mustache and chin stubble of matching color. He wore square glasses, a dark red tracksuit over a red shirt, along with a brown belt with a metal buckle, dark grey pants, white and red sneakers, and black fingerless gloves.
"There you are, Brock!" Damian said, storming over to the boy. "What in the hell was that?!"
"Hey, man." The boy said. "I just wanted to show everyone my sick biking skills. Because if it's got wheels, I can deals. Hola computadores!"
"Computadores? What is that?" Winona asked.
"It's Spanish, girl. I'm fluent." Brock grinned.
"Wait. Isn't computadores 'computers'?" Winona wondered.
"Naw, man." Brock shook his head. "It's competitors. Like how I'm gonna ganador this compaytissiown. That means I'm gonna win this contest."
Jack and Luke looked over Brock's motorcycle, amazed.
"Dude!" Luke said, smiling. "This bike is awesome!"
"Yeah, man." Jack grinned. "Where did you get it?"
Brock beamed as he saw the tall, ponytailed man. "Jack! You're here?! This is awesome!" Brock said, excitedly.
"Wait, I'm confused." Luke said. "Why is this a big deal? I mean, Jack seems great. But...why?"
"Yo, Jack and I went to the same school. He graduated this year. This dude was the king of the school." Brock explained.
Jack chuckled. "Well, I don't know about king."
"Don't give me that shit, Jack." Brock replied. "Everyone knew you, everyone loved you. Now this game is gonna have competition. El gameadores is on, boy." Brock chuckled.
"...Well, either way. Sick bike, man." Jack replied.
"Hey, thanks." Brock smiled. "It's a Harley Softail. This thing is great. Not my pride and joy, though. That's my motocross bike. No way in hell I'd bring that here."
"Think you could give me a ride sometime?" Luke asked.
"Sure, I don't see why not." Brock shrugged. "Fuck it, let's go, right now!"
"Not so fast, Brock." Damian said. "Now that everyone is here, it's time to get this game going."
The twenty two campers followed Damian to the main grounds of the campsite. "Alright, campers." Damian pointed to two long cabins. "These are where you'll be sleeping. A cabin for the boys and a cabin for the girls."
"Uh. What about trans? Non-binary? Genderqueer?" Xena asked.
"What in the hell?" Garrett mumbled.
"And if you'll follow me…" Damian continued walking.
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Damian: And, like previous seasons. The confessional is always open if you ever feel like you need to say something directly to the audience. I recommend you use this.
-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-
"Now." Damian continued. "Time to explain the challenge."
"Wait. Don't we usually get teams, first?" Winona asked.
"Ah, that's the twist of your first challenge." Damian said. "For your first challenge, there will be no teams! One single person will be immune and the other twenty one of you will have to vote someone off!"
This was met with gasps.
"And, as for your challenge. It will be a simply race around the campground. From this cabin, down the track labeled out, and back here. Sound good?" Damian asked.
The campers shrugged and nodded.
"Alright." Said Damian. "We'll start your challenge soon. Why don't you all go make a confessional before we begin?"
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Brock: Alright. I'm revved and ready. I'm gonna be the ganardor!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Chesney: Oh my. There are so many hot guys, just like in my romance novels. I will make sure one of them falls in love with me!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Diana: Well, this bunch seems mighty kind. Hopefully this'll be a relaxin' summer. And a millyan bucks wouldn't hurt, either.
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Dude: Duuuude… (Dude smirked)
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Flora: I'm getting good vibes from some of these people. Others are really harvesting some dark chi. Hopefully they'll, you know, open up to the ways of mother earth. (Flora took out what looked like a blunt, lit it, and began to smoke.) Literally hotboxing, maaan…
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Garrett: This game has a lot more freaks than usual. It's fuckin' gross. They're are three kids in capes fer god sake! But I intend ta fuckin' destroy all of 'em and win that millyan...And it fuckin' stinks like weed in here!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Jack: It's kinda weird to see Brock here. But he's right. I'm kind of royalty back at my high school. But those days are behind me. I'll always be a cavalier. But here. I'm Jack Makwa, Total Drama competitor. And hopefully, Total Drama winner. Ra ra, Oreville! Goooo Cavaliers!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Jynxie: I am so! Fucking! Pumped! Let's fucking rock this shit!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Kari: I've already gotten beaten up so much today… I hope it isn't like this all summer. And I really hope it doesn't cause me to leave early…
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Lance: I've already got an evil legion set up. I will rule this competition! And win it, too! For evil! If that little twerp in the yellow cape thinks he can stop me, he's dead wrong. Mwahahahahahaha!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Luke: I've already got two villainous adversaries! The evil witch, Tara and the monstrous psycho, Lance! This is gonna be so much fun!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
May: I'm so excited to begin! I sure hope I can make some friends while here. Loving anime more than almost anything else doesn't exactly earn you a lot of friends. Xena seems nice, though. Even if she's a bit of a wacko.
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Moonclaw: Haha! Now, they'll all feel the wrath, the primal power of the wolf! Rawr! AOOOOOOO!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Rapheala: Well, as I stated earlier, this competition seems like it will be of to a fiery start, especially with this rather odd twist. I believe my intelligence will keep me in this competition. Granted, this first challenge is physical, and I'm not exactly the most athletic individual. Rather, I am quite endomorphic. But I'm confident that, given that there are also mental challenges, I will be able to excel.
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Richy: Oho. This is an interesting twist. It'll certainly change the way of thinking on who to eliminate first. I wonder if we'll be able to choose teams as well, ala Total Drama Action. Well, I'm already set up with a few allies from the get-go, and have made some social connections. So I don't have to worry a whole lot, at the moment. I can just enjoy the fact that I'm actually on Total Drama! I wanna be famous!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Salem: Haha! If these fools think they can defeat a creature as powerful as a vampire, they are sorely mistaken! It's time for I, Salem Ravenlocke, to take the night! Hahahaha! (Salem threw his hands in the air and hit the ceiling) Owww….
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Stratbot: I already have three different allies. Putting them all in the same alliance would be too risky. As would leaving them all separate. Perhaps I will merge two alliances of mine into one and then have the other ally for support. Gameplay: Engage. (Strabot pressed on the blue circle on his chest and heavy metal music began to play.) There's...there's no gameplay button. That was symbolic. (After a bit of a pause, Stratbot began to lightly headbang to the music)
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Suzy: I'm actually surprised they all haven't already given up. I mean, look at me. I'm so going to win this competition. Those losers should just give up.
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Tara: Ehehehehee… I can't wait to play with my new test subjec-I mean...fellow competitors… (Tara grinned connivingly)
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Winona: Oh boy! A physical challenge, already. Get the charts ready, Ginny. Time to add Winona Nayl to my reality TV jocks list. And I'm sure my stats will be the highest. I would be on par with Lightning if I win. But this season will probably also have more episode. So I'd still win….Let's go!
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Wulfric: Well, it appears that I may have some lovely ladies under my thumb already. Alright, peasants, prepare to feel the sly, stunning fury of Wulfric von Czar. Prince of Cyfrasia.
-|-|-|-Confessional-|-|-|-
Xena: I'm already disgusted by this game. Literally the only one I can even talk to is May. Everyone else is patriarchal trash!
-|-|-|-End Confessional-|-|-|-
"And there you have it." Damian said. "Our twenty two new competitors. Who will win the coveted individual immunity in our round one twist? Find out next time. Here! On Total! Drama! Cabin Fever!"