Day 18
The Queen still doesn't let me out of the castle grounds. I see now that she seems to be keeping me more as a prisoner than as a prince. And as for all the wonderful things she promised me when we first met…well, I see no sign of any such gifts.
Goodness knows where the other three are. I suppose they must still be with those beavers, trying to get to Aslan and that table, whatever they are. Unless…no, that can't have happened. I'm sure they must have escaped before Maugrim and his police got there. I hope so. I'm not sure I could live with myself if anything happened to the girls because of me. Peter, not so much. But I do feel bad for making it out that Lucy was telling lies about getting here, although if she had never found her way through that blasted wardrobe, none of the rest of us would and perhaps none of this would have happened. I wonder what the four of us would be doing now, back in our world, if we weren't here. Perhaps we'd be playing cricket on the front lawn in the sunshine.
I've almost forgotten what sunshine feels like. All there is everywhere is more and more snow, and one can't go anywhere without a fur coat. Not that I need one now, anyway. The Queen keeps this small room relatively warm for me, and she does feed me decently (although not nearly as well as at home). She must have some sort of plan for me, else I'm sure she wouldn't take such good care of me. I expect the others will turn up at any second, and she'll take them in too. Then we could live together in the castle, and she would keep my word of making me a prince. I'm sure she meant it. She must have. Why else would she keep me here? I can't think of any other reason. She can't be as evil and terrible as everyone makes out. And who are they to be so unkind to her anyway? They haven't met her.
I wonder if I shall ever see any of them again. I do miss the girls, especially Susan. Perhaps I need to stop telling myself lies about how wonderful the Queen is. I know she's not keeping me here for a good reason. Why else would she keep me locked up in this room? The only other place she allows me to go is out into the courtyard where all those beastly statues are kept, so that's hardly an awful lot of comfort. Keeping track of the days and their events is about the only thing occupying my time and I think I shall die of boredom if I have to stay here for too much longer. A paper and pencil can only keep one occupied for so long before I completely out of my mind. Perhaps if I pluck up the courage to ask the Queen about going out to see the snow properly, I could get out of this wretched castle for at least a short time. Sneaking out is completely out of the question; Maugrim would catch me in an instant and that would be the end of any more of my fine plans.
Perhaps Aslan will sort things out, whoever he is. Or perhaps the Queen will sort him out, if he's on the wrong side. But now that it comes to talking about sides, I hardly know which one is which. The beaver said the Queen is evil but that Aslan is good because he's the rightful king. But I remember hearing about people in my history classes who plotted against the monarchy, and they were evil. They were called a her...something like that. What if Aslan and his army are just an uprising against the Queen because they don't like her? That would make all the magical creatures evil...and it would mean the others were involved in a plot to overthrow the Queen! They can't do that!
Not that I know the truth anyway.
If I have to stay too many more days in here I don't know what I shall do.
I just want to go home.