Sports Centre: Animation Edition 2!, a cartoon x-overs fanfic

SPORTS CENTRE: Animation Edition #2 – Funniest Blooper Reels Edition!

(Previews of snippets of funny blooper reel scenes)

Announcer: This is Sports Centre.

Sonny: Tonight, on the special episode of Sports Centre!...The most funniest bloopers, starting from when Bart lost his swimming trunks during the Summer Olympics…(shows Bart running out of the pool severely embarrassed, hiding his crotch), to when Bender loses his shiny, metal can…(Bender: Yeah? You can bite my shiny, metal… (Bender then notices his "metal ass" is missing…) OH NOOOOO!!...) so "blow up your video" (A scene shows a TV exploding), and get ready to laugh out loud as we show you the funniest sports bloopers on Sports Centre!

(A bunch of funny blooper scenes are shown quickly, as the Sports Centre theme song plays then finishes; cut to where the sports newsmen are)

Announcer: Here are your hosts for tonight's Sports Centre, Kevin Chiu and Sonny Ing.

Kevin: Hello folks and welcome to tonight's special edition of Sports Centre. Since tonight is a special episode, we have a special guest. My younger, athletic brother, Paul Chiu!

Sonny: For those who are out there and knew Paul, he just called saying he's caught in a traffic jam.

Kevin: (cough) Embarrassing! (cough)

Sonny: Today's special edition of Sports Centre (for short, "The S.C.") is "Sport's History of the Funniest Blooper Reels!"

Kevin: On the Top 10 of the world's most funniest and embarrassing bloopers is Number 10 – "The Pair Figure Skating Nationals with Jimmy (James) McElroy and Chazz Michael Michaels."

Sonny: (to Kevin) why is this embarrassing?

Kevin: Well, because we have never seen two men in the pair figure skating division, before or in sports history!

( RING RING RING RING! (x2) )

Sonny: Kevin, is that your phone? You have the worst ring tone ever…

Kevin: Please excuse me for one sec…(flips up cell phone and dials in) Hello? Paul? WHAT THE F--K? YOU'RE STUCK IN THE GOD DAMN TRAFFIC?!

(AT THE HIGHWAY)

Paul: Come on! Damn it, YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE, SO SHUT UP! YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THE GOD DAMN TRAFFIC AROUND HERE! THE F--K IS WRONG WITH YOU! (lowers cell phone for a moment) MOVE, DAMN IT! MOVE! (honks horn, then raises up cell phone to ear)

(AT THE STUDIO)

Kevin: WHAT THE F--K IS WRONG WITH ME?! WHAT THE F--K IS WRONG WITH YOU?! MY GOD, I HAVE NEVER…

Sonny: (still sitting on the leather chair facing the camera; Kevin screams at his brother over the cell phone in the background) Ahem…sorry for that little tiff, ladies and gentlemen. I am continuing this Top 10 right now. Heading on to Number 9, the 1999 LPGA Open Championship at the Silver Meadows Golf Club Course. Jiraiya-sama, or should I say Ero-Sannin, was a birdie away from taking the Championship. Instead, this embarrassing moment came in, in irony.

(--VIDEO PLAYS--)

Golf Announcer: Here's the Ero-Sannin, Jiraiya, taking his shot. He is a stone's throw away from making the cut, and winning the championship. Here comes the swing. The crowd and he look tense. Here he goes…the swing.

(Jiraiya suddenly swings the golf club hard, missing the golf ball. Instead, the golf club flies off of his hands and flies away, hitting a person with a big "OUCH!" and a loud thump off-screen.)

(Crowd gasps)

Golf Announcer: OH MY GOD! HE'S KILLED KENNY!

Kyle: (somewhere in the crowd) YOU BASTARD!

Jiraiya: Uhhhhhh…bye!

(Jiraiya summons Gamabunta and flees off, before the crowd can react)

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

Sonny: Another death to Kenny, first time off screen! Boy, what an embarrassing moment for the "Pervy Sage"! (a la Doug Heffernan) Son of a mother!

(Kevin can be still heard arguing with his brother over the phone OUT LOUD)

Sonny: (sees Kevin arguing, then faces to the camera) Uhhhhhh….We'll be right back!

Announcer: This special edition of Sports Centre is brought you by, Honda. "The power of nightmares." (evil laughter sound effect plays)

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Announcer: This programme is brought you by Scotiabank, "You're poorer than you think!" and by Toyota, "Making Things Worse".

Sonny: 'ello, sports fans and welcome back. I see Kevin has finished his argument with Paul over the phone.

Kevin: (sitting down) Yeah, it better be finished! Did you know what Paul called me over the phone?

Sonny: What?

Kevin: (out loud) A DOUCHEBAG!

Sonny: Um, Kevin I think people heard ya already. And I think that word wasn't, you know, censored. And we're on live TV right now…

Kevin: Whatever. The point is I don't think Paul will be appearing in this episode.

Sonny: Alright, then. Kevin, present Number 8 of the Top 10, then.

Kevin: We passed Number 9? Alright. Number 8…the 2004 Summer Animation Olympics at Athens, Greece. Bart Simpson, the 12-year old pro swimmer prodigy was severely embarrassed in the 1000M Men's Breastroke. Although he won the gold medal…well, let's see what went wrong.

(--VIDEO OF THE OLYMPIC EVENT PLAYS--)

Sports Announcer #1: And there goes Bart Simpson, on his way to getting the 5th gold medal in the 1000M Men's Breastroke event!

Sports Announcer #2: BUT WAIT! What's floating on the middle of the pool?

Sports Announcer #1: Is that…his swimming trunks?

(Bart suddenly realizes he doesn't have his swimming shorts on, so he runs out of the pool deck, covering his crotch while running to the changing room being really embarrassed; the spectators laugh at Bart really loud as he rushes to the room)

Sports Announcer #1: Oh boy…

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

Kevin: Now, wasn't that funny, Sunny?

Sonny: It sure is funny as hell! Onto Number 7, and—oop! I just got an update! Ladies and gentlemen, it seems to appear that Paul will be appearing in this show! He just wants to apologize to Kevin for being a motherf--ker.

Kevin: Well, look who's saying sorry now, eh?

Sonny: Huh, un! Well, heading on to Number 7 of the Top Ten anyway, the 2006 Billiards Championship Finals between Deidara and Kisame. Well, you can't go wrong with one Akatsuki member battling against another in a game of snooker. Too bad Deidara launched an explosive clay billiard ball right at one of the cameramen broadcasting this event through one of the sports networks (and NO, it wasn't the network we're broadcasting S.C. in). What a big bang it was, un!

Kevin: Agreed! At Number 6, the unthinkable happened during the 2004 World Series of Baseball at the Wrigley Field! Red Sox batter Uzumaki Naruto batting against New York Yankee pitcher Hank Hill. (camera moves to face Kevin beside a 20" plasma TV display showing the event) Now as you can see here, the score is tied at 5, bases are loaded, there are two outs, 3 balls, and two strikes for the batter. OK, now look what happened when Naruto is about to swing the bat after Hank pitches the ball. OH, and there goes the back catcher! It's pretty clear that Naruto had let a big rip (or fart) when he was about to swing the bat! Boston wins the World Series by four balls, because of Naruto!

Sonny: Heading on to Number 5 of the Top Ten, the 37th NFL Super Bowl: New England Patriots vs. Miami Dolphins. Homer Simpson of the Patriots receives the football from the kick-off during the play in the 4th quarter of the game, the score tied at 30. However that was not the case, as the play progresses, with each Patriot offence player laterally passing the football at each other rushing to the touchdown spot. Suddenly, with Chief Wiggum—the only Patriot to possess the football—sees the oncoming marching band of a Floridian university running onto the field with the band thinking that the game was already over. Wiggum then tackles down a trombonist really hard down to the ground, as he makes the TD. It seems like a repeat of "The Play" between Stanton and California University.

Kevin: And it is! Here's the audio clip from the game broadcasted on ESPN, our big brother U.S. equivalent of our network.

(--AUDIO CLIP PLAYS--)

ESPN Commentator #1: And now, the score is tied at 30. Miami Dolphins kick-off the football with 15 seconds to go in the 4th quarter. Homer Simpson catches the ball. Now he's running, under pressure here. Oh! And the football comes loose, but another Patriot possesses it! Lateral passing to each other through the defence, at the 30…the 20…OH AND THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD! THE BAND IS OUT ON THE FIELD! TOUCHDOWN! THERE ARE FLAGS ALL OVER THE PLACE! OOH WHAT A GAME!

ESPN Commentator #2: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

(--AUDIO CLIP ENDS--)

Kevin: We sure do! We'll be back for the rest of the Top 10 and more! Don't go away!

Announcer: This special edition of Sports Centre is brought you by: Ridata. "Always wrong…"

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

Announcer: This Sports Centre is brought you by Bell Canada, "Making It Difficult".

Kevin: Welcome back to Sports Centre, sports fans. We are at Number 4 of the Top 10 right now. Now, number 4 of the Top 10 Most Funniest Sports Bloopers on TV is one of the most funniest you've ever seen on television. The 1998 Formula One Championship Race saw #20 McClaren driver Spongebob Squarepants battling against #65 Ferrari driver Patrick Star in a rivalry battle to the finish line. Little did Patrick know that there was a sharp turn up ahead before the finish line on the straightaway, and that he was distracted. Here's the video clip.

(--VIDEO CLIP OF F1 CHAMPIONSHIP RACE PLAYS--)

F1 Race Commentator: And here's Spongebob and Patrick, battling side by side for who's going to win in the San Marino Speed Course! Here goes the sharp turn, and…

(ERRK! CRASH!!)

F1 Race Commentator: GREAT BON SCOTT! Patrick Star loses it at the final turn, and crashes really hard into the tire wall, causing the car to also explode on fire! OH, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, FOR OVER 25 YEARS OF FORMULA ONE RACING, I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH A DEVASTATING CRASH LIKE THIS!

(Patrick Star gets out of his totalled, mangled up, F1 car and runs around in circles screaming while on fire as emergency crews put the blaze out on the car)

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

Sonny: …And Spongebob wins the Championship of the Formula One! He's lucky that his good friend (and race rival) Patrick was OK. Now, heading to the Top 3 of the Top 10, Number 3 saw the World Curling Championships of 1995 really funny. The one game (Canada vs. Japan) saw humorous incidents from the first end. Both firsts slipped when letting the curling rock go. Then, it all got hazy, I don't know…

Kevin: You're not good at remembering things, are ya?

Sonny: (Sarcastic) duh, I don't know!

Kevin: Oh well. Before we get to Number 1, here's Number 2! The 1991 Tour de France! Yellow jersey mountain bike rider Edward Elric squares off against white jersey, mountain bike rider Bugs Bunny. But the question is who won the race? No one. At the final stretch, before the finish line (at the last leg of the last round), the two try to reach the finish line first with the pack behind them in a short distance. But if we know how cartoon clichés work, it would be that one guy trips over a rock, causing a domino effect to a large number of people behind him. That would be the case for the Tour de France. Such a pile of mountain bicycles and pro bike riders. (shakes head slowly) Such a tragedy…

Sonny: And now, the moment you've been waiting for! The Number 1 of the Top 10 Funniest Bloopers and Moments of Sports History, Animation-styled! The 1990 NASCAR Anime/Cartoon Cup Series! After winning the Daytona Sunset 500, #03 driver Peter Griffin was questioned by the media during the post-race conference. But when he was asked about his weight, well let's just say he's really ticked off.

(--VIDEO PLAYS--)

Press Interviewer: Mr. Griffin! Do you ever noticed that you're still fat, even after going around in an oval track for 400 laps in hot, uncomfortable weather?

Peter Griffin: Hey! I don't need no f--king retard a--holes to ask me about retaining my f--king weight after that race! I am really p--sed off at people who call me fat, even if I sweat a lot racing a car for a million dollars! Whaddya gotta say now, d--khead motherf--king n--er press? B--ches!

Press Interviewers and Reporters: …

(--VIDEO ENDS--)

Sonny: Now, THAT was not pretty!

Kevin: It wasn't pretty back then, it wasn't pretty right now.

Sonny: Speaking of which, I have just received updates that Paul will INDEED guest host in the Sports Centre. He just said a few minutes ago, he's now ten minutes away from appearing in this show.

Kevin: And that just gives us time for the "Ultimate S.C."!

(--ULTIMATE S.C. SEGMENT PLAYS--)

( "Ain't No Fun (Waiting Round To Be A Millionaire)" by AC/DC plays )

(Ultimate S.C. intro plays)

(Lisa Simpson and Marge Simpson (in pairs for a women's pair's tennis game) squares off against Haruno Sakura and Yakanama Ino. Both pairs battle each other, then Marge fires a point shot, but the tennis ball hits a cameraman)

Tennis Commentator: OH! And there goes the camera dude! What a shame for the network that hired this guy to cover the action! (Instant replay shows)

The following is a true story

Only the names have been changed

To protect the guilty

(Next scene changes to a NHL hockey game. Boston Bruin Chris Griffin gets slammed by Ottawa Senator Uchiha Sasuke into the glass really hard; shards of glass fly and hit Chris' face. He screams as he is bleeding)

Well I left my job in my home town

And I headed for the smoke

Got a rock 'n' roll band and a fast right hand

Gonna get to the top

Nothing's gonna stop us, no nothing

(While the song plays, another clip starts playing. A left-front tire slips off of the #24 Ford Focus WRC Rally car, which spins out of control and hits a tree)

WRC Rally Commentator: Now, I pity the fool who didn't put in that tire real tight…

(Camera moves to show Bobby Hill, the tire changer for the Team #24 Pit Crew terrified. He then runs away from the scene.)

Hank Hill: (depressed sigh) that boy ain't right.

So if you've got the money, we've got the sound

You put it up and we'll put it down

If you've got the dollar, we've got the song

Just wanna boogie woogie all night long

Yeah boogie

(Scene changes to Raptors player, Stewie Griffin, tripping over a tall Nets player in a NBA game)

(Referee blows the whistle)

Nets Player: Yo, you tripped me! That's a foul dude!

Stewie Griffin: Oh, please. You always complainin' around, arguin' with yo momma!

Nets Player: Yeah? At least my mom is not uglier than yours!

Stewie Griffin: Oh, shut the f--k up bitch!

I got holes in my shoes

I got holes in my teeth

I got holes in my socks

I can't get no sleep

I'm trying to make a million

(Next video clip shows. Road Runner is about to win a 100 KM marathon in Canada. Peter Griffin (in his car) suddenly runs Road Runner over)

Peter Griffin: What was that?

And I got patches on the patches

On my old blue jeans

Well they used to be blue

When they used to be new

When they used to be clean

Wile E. Coyote: That was nothing. Keep driving.

(Next clip shows Goku getting hit in the "Dragon Balls" by a rocketing fast softball; the spectators groan disgustingly at the sight of this, while Goku is holding his nuts in pain)

But I've got a Mumma who's a hummer

Just keeping me alive

While I'm in the band doing drinking with the boys

She's working 9 to 5

She knows her place that woman

Just you wait

One of these days see me driving round town

In my Rock 'n' Rolls Royce with the sun roof down

My bottle of booze, no summer time blues

Shouting out, "Look at me"

In my rock 'n' roll voice

(S.C. video transition effect plays, then shows an AHL hockey game between the Marlies and the Crunch. Brian Griffin of the Marlies tries to shoot a laser slap shot to score a goal. He does this, but the laser slap shot flies through the ceiling, and then brings down a satellite. The satellite crashes into the stadium, killing some people watching the game)

No it ain't no fun, yeah