Disclaimer: I do not own J.K Rowling's world of Harry Potter. I do not own The Report Card by Andrew Clements, which sort-of maybe inspired this. I do not own the thousands of other Mary Sue related fanfics. It would take me forever to have written all that, anyways.
Human Nature
My name is Michelle Winters and I am a Mary Sue.
They say it's not easy being a Mary Sue and they're right. But for all the wrong reasons. First off, there are many kinds of Mary Sues. Some of them are insanely beautiful and popular. Some of them are incredibly powerful with a tragic past. Some of them are brilliantly genius and can do everything. But all of them share one thing in common - they stand out.
"Unique," others said. "Weird," some called me behind my back. The jealous ones. The ones that ended up needing help from me.
People think they've gotten all the bad parts of being a Mary Sue. They've mentioned the ever-present tragic history, the annoyingly long names, the extreme jealousy. Some of the more intelligent ones have added the burden of being brilliant, the nice-in-a-bad-way looks from boys. But, though I can't speak for anyone else, they missed the mark for me.
Let me explain something about myself. At first glance, I may not seem like a Mary Sue. I wasn't gifted with particularly special powers, like being a phoenix animagus, and while I'm not ugly, I'm not breathtakingly beautiful either. But know me for a while, and you will see that I qualify for Mary Sue status.
You see, I only ever needed to learn something once before I get it. So I master everything with an insane amount of ease, whether potions or spells or Quidditch even. I'm liked by almost everyone and most of the ones that don't like me are won over or lose face. As for looks, I suppose my friend described it well. "They fit you - you don't stand out much but you're effortlessly perfect."
But my very perfection makes me imperfect. I envy the people like Neville Longbottom who know the joy of succeeding at something they have tried for a long time at. I envy the people who choose their clothes painstakingly. I envy people who can see hard work pay off. Because that's something I've never known, getting everything with ease. The only reason I don't have straight Os is careless mistakes, a wrong letter seen here, a wrong line added there.
I wish I knew how to try. Since I've never really needed to try to succeed, I don't know if I would have that determination. Look at Harry Potter's persistence. I don't believe I could have survived a tiny challenge because I simply wouldn't know how to deal with it. I don't have the motivation to challenge myself either. His life is something I would gladly trade mine for, just for the sake of the soul growth.
And my teachers don't help either. Since I get every spell on my first try they can't seem to figure out anything more challenging. They don't understand that I cannot figure things out as easily as I can learn, though I can learn to figure things out if I am taught. They don't understand that I have never learned the motivation to further perfect a spell. They don't understand that motivation, like everything else, is learned. And when I make mistakes? When I am not my perfect self for some reason or other? While for most people it would be normal, excellent even, I am called up and reprimanded sternly.
Sometimes I see Luna Lovegood sitting by herself, humming an odd tune without any care for those around her. I envy her then, she who knows the joys of solitude. I don't. I'm always surrounded by friends, and I always have to make room for them. There are times when I just want to kick them all away and sit next to Luna in silence, listening to her hum. Maybe she'd talk to me about the things that made others label her 'loony'. But my friends won't let me get away - they want my attention. And so I have none to spare for Luna Lovegood but a wistful look in her direction.
People don't want to be friends with those less intelligent than them. They want to be friends with those who have something to teach them, those who are able to hold an interesting conversation with them. I have yet to find one of those, even in my house, the house for the intelligent. That might be why I am so interested in the years younger than me. They seem to be full of students with potential, Hermione Granger, bookworm, reputed to get spells even quicker than me, Ronald Weasley, who supposedly can play a good game of chess, Ginny Weasley, famous for her red hair and fiery personality, Ernie Macmillan, so eager in his studies, so motivated. Even some of the older Gryffindors, like the Weasley twins, who held an intelligent conversation the last time I spoke to them, though I never had a chance again. Ravenclaws don't associate much with Gryffindors or Slytherins, which may be why I observe the Gryffindors so closely.
It's tiring, always slowing down for others. I'm tired of it, but I can't just ditch my admirers. I don't have it in me. There are never any good opponents, not for intelligence, not for popularity, not for beauty, unless you count that year Fleur was here, not even for chess. Nobody has expectations for me. I'm smart, but I seem to have become their standard for perfection, and so nobody can think of anything for me. People are so shallow, anyways. There are people who think that all I should do is fall in love and then help that person to be great. There are people who, if they were put into another person's body, would think of nothing but enjoying the ride and trying to get out. If they were thrown into our universe as a Mary Sue, even knowing what was going to happen, they would have enjoyed the attention, split up Harry, Ron, and Hermione's wonderful dynamics, and done nothing to benefit the universe before escaping it. They couldn't think of anything better to do. I probably could, and would succeed, but I don't have the opportunity.
Some people live where it's always cold and want to live where it's hot. Some people live where it's always hot and want to live where it's cold. But if you lived where it was neither too hot or too cold, you would likely want to try both.
My name is Michelle Winters and I am a Mary Sue.
And I never wanted to be anything but normal.
I was thinking about Mary Sues and this idea popped into my head. What do you think?