Title: Letting Go

Author Notes: Hi I have this in my head so I´m writing it

Thanks to my beta Jerseybelle for her help.

Song by Donovan

Steve felt lonely today. He was sitting on his lanai with a beer while Danny was on a date with doctor Ansario, and that saddened Steve because he was in love with his partner.

He had discovered his feelings while he had been in jail. He loved Danny and it killed him to send Danny away and it thrilled him when Danny didn´t leave, but instead stayed to help him.

Steve had known that day that he was in love with his partner. But Steve also knew that his very non-gay partner didn´t see him that way. Even when he could feel Danny´s eyes on him, he knew that was just his Danno being nice.

Steve knew that only friendship would join him to Danny and that had to be enough. At least that's what he told himself every morning before Danny came looking for him and it usually helped, but today, after this case, his walls were crumbling and he couldn´t fight the sadness.

"In the chilly hours and minutes,

Of uncertainty, I want to be,

In the warm hold of your loving mind.

To feel you all around me,

And to take your hand, along the sand,

Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind..."

Steve was watching the waves of his beloved beach. The water calmed him and brought him a sense of peace. He closed his eyes and let a tear fall; he knew his heart was breaking; he understood that once again he had to resign his feelings for Danny. He had to let go of the love, the yearning to be Danny´s lover, the hope he had to let go everything. He had to shut down this new emotion or he risked loosing Danny´s friendship and that was something he couldn´t allow himself to lose. If he did, he knew it would kill him.

So Steve let the tears fall. He walked down to the beach and went into the water where he could let go. Among the waves he let go of everything he had inside. He swam until his body ached, but his heart was guarded again. He let the feelings drown in the water. He let himself let go of the hope.

Steve swam until he found the peace that he so desperately craved. Steve had started to let go of the feelings in order to keep Danny in his life.

Steve didn´t want this, he wanted to hold onto this feeling, but he couldn´t. In the end, it would only be more painful and he couldn´t take that, he couldn´t take more pain, and knowing that Danno could never love him was to much pain.

"When sundown pales the sky,

I wanna hide a while, behind your smile,

And everywhere I'd look, your eyes I'd find.

For me to love you now,

Would be the sweetest thing, 'twould make me sing,

Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind..."

When the rain started falling and he could barely move, Steve went inside and got dry clothes and a cup of coffee. He was still hurting but he knew that he could never tell Danny what he felt and risk losing him for good. His partner deserved a good friend, he deserved for Steve to be there for him, cheering him, not ruining Danny's life by confessing feelings that Steve convince himself Danno didn´t share.

It was time for Danny to be happy and Steve was going to make sure that happened.

"When rain has hung the leaves with tears,

I want you near, to kill my fears

To help me to leave all my blues behind.

For standin' in your heart,

Is where I want to be, and I long to be,

Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind..."

Steve was so tired that he was finally able to sleep. He had taken the first step and while he was broken, Danno would never know. Danno would be happy. That was his mission.

TBC