disclaimer: the characters of austin & ally belong to disney, however the plot line is mine.
prologue
Allyson Dawson—January 29th, 2014
"I swore I'd never fall again, but this didn't even feel like falling."
"God, can you just leave me the fuck alone, Moon?" I asked—or pleaded—having to raise my voice over the approaching trains. I stood, like I commonly did, with my arms folded over the thick trench coat which I hugged tighter to my chest, protecting myself from the bitter winter wind. Pursing my purple lips, I kicked a damp stone, still wet from the day's rain, and followed it rolling slowly across the moist ground until it halted before his damp shoes.
He merely smirked in jubilation, his damned honey eyes sparkling, fully aware of the fury directed towards him. He lightly ran a hand through his soggy blonde hair, because Moon—being the ass he is—thought it a good idea to walk to the station, refusing to take a bus like I'd insisted. He swallowed, allowing his eyes to dance over my features which complimented my indignant composure.
"You tell me." He grinned a grin that could charm a thousand girls in a heartbeat, no matter how insincere. It showed only the tips of his perfectly straight, white teeth; teeth that pissed me off to the fullest extent. The jackass constantly bragged how he'd been lucky enough to be born with nice teeth, whilst I, on the other hand, had to endure two-and-a-half years in massive, ugly braces, traipsing forwards and backwards to the orthodontist's, yet still didn't look as good as his.
"Fucking hell, Moon, it isn't that hard! Jesus, can't you get your head out of your ass for two minutes?" My brown eyes—unlike Moon's, whose brightened in the darkness—clouded over, much representing my personality at that time.
"I beg to differ, Allyson," he continued smirking, "I don't know if you've forgotten, but we live next door to each other. You're kind of stuck with me, at least for the next few months." Gliding his tongue over his lips, he looked me straight in the eye, refusing to wipe that wretched smug smirk from the corners of his lips.
My hands fell from their crossed position, dropping to my waist and curling into firm balls.
"Fuck, you mess with my sanity, Moon. I swear I'm this close to castrating you."
"Ah yes, I feel as though you've threatened me many times before. Tell me Allyson, are you ever going follow through with your intimidating remarks, or will they remain empty words?"
If looks could kill, Moon would be long gone by now. I had clenched my fists so tight I was certain my knuckles were a ghostly shade of white.
"You annoy the shit out of me, Moon," I said lowly, my voice reaching such extreme octaves I didn't know existed.
He laughed. "You know Allyson, five months in your presence and I've become immune to your insults. Maybe you should take your anger out on someone else."
I took two steps back from underneath the shelter of the station roof into all the elements. A gust of wind whipped against my ponytail and darkened my pink cheeks, but I didn't care. I didn't even care when I missed the next train—something that used to drive me to my wit's end. All my surroundings seemed to dissolve into a blur, the only picture I could formulate was that of a blonde-headed idiot standing at the opposite end of the train station to me.
"You-you—" I stumbled, not being able to form a proper sentence. His smirk widened, and that was when all the hurt and anger and confusion I had bottled up over the past months came out of me. I felt a fire raging in my stomach, hatred cursed through my veins.
"I hate you."
He raised a dark eyebrow, not believing me.
"You don't hate me, Allyson," he chuckled, glancing over at the train line prior to resting his gaze on my face once more.
"No," I said, more confidently, "That's where you're wrong, Moon. I hate you."
To my utter exasperation, his face greeted me with the same disbelieving, marked expression.
"Stop lying, Allyson."
"I'm not lying," I growled through gritted teeth, storming towards Moon until our noses were barely two inches apart.
"Yes, you are," he retorted, becoming more complacent.
"No, I'm not," I seethed.
"You are."
"I'm n—fuck you, Moon!" I flung my arms up in pure frustration, "I'm sick of this bullshit!"
"Then stop with the damned games, Dawson!" Moon retaliated, losing some of his arrogant smirk. Admittedly, I nearly fell back in shock at his use of my surname. It was one of the few times he didn't address me as Allyson.
Regaining my composure, I spat a retortion back at him. "I'm not playing games, Moon. God, can't you see that, even with your abnormally thick skull?"
Moon seemed to consider my question for a split second, before emitting the egotism I'd expect from only him.
"So you really hate me, huh?" He questioned rhetorically, the fucking smirk twitching around the crevices of his lips again.
I straightened my posture, attempting to shorten our height difference. "Yes."
"Really?" He asked indifferently, and I watched his mouth drawl the next question. "What do you hate about me, Allyson?" I took a deep breath, swallowing thickly.
"What don't I hate about you, Moon? That would be a better question. It'd take a mere second to answer."
He chuckled, and I didn't hesitate to fire all the gusto I had at him with everything I could muster.
"I hate your freaking accent, and the way it hasn't altered after five fucking months. Of course you have to have a slightly different one to everybody else, of course you have to stand out with your fucking hybrid American accent! I hate how you always smirk; doing it in such a way you know will piss me off. I hate your arrogance, and the way you can so easily charm everyone. I hate how you can convince me that there's something more to you, that you're not the stuck up dickhead I originally perceived you to be, before it all comes crashing back to reality and I'm reminded that there's no substance whatsoever to you.
I hate how you've got a completely split personality; the one in front of adults, and the one around me. I hate how you never fail to bring out the worst of me, making me seemed like an angry bitch all the fucking time. I swear I'm not, Moon, and I hate that I feel I have to tell you that. I hate how you can so simply frustrate me, how you can get on my nerves with one word. I hate how you showed up out of nowhere and suddenly knew how to push all my buttons within a few minutes.
I hate your smile—your real smile, not that damned smirk—the one that you so infrequently use, but when you do, you make everyone look like shit, substandard in comparison. I hate your laugh, and the way it seems to brighten everyone's day. I hate your stupid, blonde hair, the hair that I swore was bleached but you showed me through your bathroom cupboards to prove that it wasn't. I hate your fucking brown eyes that are warm and inviting, not cold and dark like mine. And God, I hate your teeth, your fucking perfect teeth that will make girls drop at your feet."
By this time, I was panting heavily, and found myself flush against Moon, much to my disgrace. Stepping out of his reach, he opened his mouth.
"Are you finished, Allyson?"
"Yes." I refolded my arms, glowering, awaiting his response.
"I don't believe you," he said simply.
"You-you what?" I guffawed, incredulous. I did not just waste so much of my energy for him to tell me he didn't believe me.
"I said I don't believe you, Allyson." Moon smirked. I frowned.
"I forgot something else, Moon."
"What?"
"I fucking detest you calling me that!"
"Good. That's why I do." I stared at him as if he was insane. Perhaps he was. It would surely explain his erratic reasoning.
During this time, I debated punching him. I eventually decided against it, coming the conclusion that it would do me no good, despite the strong urge I felt. Picking up my backpack, I walked past Moon, heading to the edge of the platform.
"I'm going home Moon," I sighed, "Do whatever the fuck you want."
"Look me in the eyes and say it."
"What?" I asked, the question catching me off guard and causing me to spin around on my heels.
"Look me in the eyes and say you hate me, Dawson." A strange, unknown tone laced Moon's voice, the smirk finally wiped completely from his face. "Do it, and I'll believe you."
"I-I already have," I stuttered, shoving my hands in my pockets.
"No, you haven't. You avoided looking definitively in my eyes."
"Yes, I have. And no, I didn't."
"You're lying again, Dawson. Stop playing your dumb games, tell me you hate me and I'll leave you the fuck alone. There."
I exhaled deeply, cautiously bringing my eyes to meet Moon's. They were a brilliant shade of brown, with little specks of vibrant yellow, changing colours with his mood.
"I-I…"
I couldn't do it. I couldn't tell Moon I hated him.
At that moment, if I hated anyone, it was myself.
"You don't hate me, Dawson. And you know why?" I winced. He smirked. "Because you like me."
I nearly choked on my own spit. Moon thought I liked him. That was the biggest piece of bullshit I'd heard in my entire life.
"You're an idiot," I muttered, stepping away from him. A hand was placed on my shoulder, forcing me to stop and restraining me from moving any further.
"You like me," Moon repeated, shrugging, something tugging at the corners of his lips. I couldn't tell if it was a smile or a smirk, and quite frankly, I didn't care. Droplets of rain dribbled from the edges of the roof, plopping on my eyelashes.
I struggled out of his slackened grip with a force that surprised both of us. "I'm ending this, Moon. I'm ending whatever the hell this is."
"What do you mean?" His face expressed something I'd never thought I'd see again written over his features: confusion.
"I'm done with your bullshit. I'm done with running around in circles. I'm done with your mixed signals. I'm done with you."
For the first time, hurt flashed in his eyes, but didn't disappear. It remained there.
"But, you like me, Dawson. Don't try and deny it, I know you. Don't lie."
A wry laugh escaped my lips. "You're wrong Moon, just accept it. I'm not lying."
Moon's jaw hardened, determination overriding the hurt in his eyes. "You couldn't prove it."
"Fucking hell Moon, you're impossible!" I exclaimed. The station was silent. Forming my lips into a single line, I regained some sort of composure, and was suddenly set on doing something. "You want proof? Fine! I'll give you proof!" I tilted my gaze upwards, boring my eyes into Moon's.
"I don't like you, okay? I hate you, Austin."
Venom dripped through every syllable, through every word I spoke. I held his gaze, not even blinking, watching his eyes droop and his face change. He flinched at my use of his first name. It was the first time I'd done it voluntarily.
The third train horn sounded that night, and that was when I decided to turn and walk away, leaving him alone under the corrugated iron roof which was now covered in sploshes of water.
"I'm getting on this train, Austin. Don't follow me," I called over my shoulder, not bothering to look at him again.
"Wait, Ally!" His use of my first name also sparked whatever curiosity I had left, reluctantly turning around. "This train doesn't stop at Coconut Grove."
Austin motioned weakly to the train screens, looking at me with such a weariness I couldn't believe it was him I was staring at.
"You know what Austin? I don't give a fuck." I spoke bitterly, hurrying to the train and impatiently pressing the silver button to open the large, metal doors.
However, no matter how quickly I tried to get inside the carriage, it was impossible for me not to hear what the one person standing at the station said.
"I…I just thought you should know."
That person's voice was deflated, sad and unrecognisable of the blonde boy who had entered my life out of nowhere. The boy I insisted I knew nothing about, but in reality knew better than anyone. The boy that I didn't like, but ultimately didn't hate.
It was then, stepping onto that carriage that I thought I had possibly been too harsh on the boy I was hopelessly in love with.
hi! this is my first fanfiction, and i basically went out on a limb. if this is good, then yay, and if it isn't, then i'll probably delete it. i am australian, so i apologise if some things seem odd (like spellings of particular words, etc.). i'll try my best at americanizing phrases and such that austin & ally say, though.
also, this story is very au/ooc. the characters in this story are fairly different to those in the show, where ally is portrayed as being very goody-goody and almost nerdy, and austin somewhat immature (for a 17/18-year-old) and slightly naive. whilst some of these characteristics will translate, this austin & ally will have much stronger personalities (ally will swear).
finally, a huge thank-you to everyone that reads, reviews, favourites and follows this story. i literally love you all. xx