1 * Disclaimer I, unfortunately, do not own any of the characters below,
as I do not have a tenth of the imagination and complete brilliance of
J.R.R. Tolkien. Please don't sue me if you are in any way offended by
these, I would also just to like out my friend helped me with these in
graphic products, hence them being so incredibly crap (the fact that they
were done in graphics, not that my friend is crap or anything), r+r and
enjoy!! *
2 THESE ARE CHARACTER ONES!!
3
4 Arargorn (mmmmm)
There was a rugged man from afar,
Who borrowed a Ford Escort car,
He needed a pee,
But crashed into a tree,
And now he fits into a jar.
5
6
7 Gandalf
There was a Wizard called Gandalf the Grey,
Who had lots of bills to pay,
So he magiced a coin,
But got hit in the groin,
And now his dick wanders astray.
8
9 Boromir
There was a son of Gondor,
Who helped to take the Ring to Mordor,
But at Amon-Hen,
Was shot at again and again,
And died in the arms of the King of Gondor.
10
11 Sam
There was a simple hobbit from The Shire,
Who one day set his mother on fire,
He put her out with some water,
But she shrunk a lot shorter,
And she now fits into a tyre.
12
13 Frodo (mmmmm)
There was a fit young hobbit called Frodo,
Who was distantly related to a Dodo,
He squawked and had feathers,
And flapped in all weathers,
But was eaten by a Komodo*.
*(There like these lizard things but are the size of a small car)
14
15 Merry and Pippin
There were two hobbits named Merry and Pippin,
Who went down the road a'skippin',
On the beach hand in hand,
Rolling in the sand,
They ended up skinny-dippin'.
16
17 Gimli
There was a dwarf who carried an axe,
And helped find Merry and Pippin's tracks,
He made friends with Legolas,
And went through Caradhras,
And gave many orcs several whacks.
18
19 Legolas
There was a young* elf from Mirkwood,
Who had some tasty pud,
He ate more and more,
Until he collapsed on the floor,
And realised he'd had more than he should.
*(Ok so he's around 3000 years old, but that's young to elves.)
OK, NOW FOR THE 'ACTOR' ONES!
20
21 Sean Astin
There was a round man called Sean,
Who was caught one day looking at porn,
To his mum's shock,
He was sucking his cock,
But insisted it was merely a horn*.
*(I'm sorry this one is so incredibly crap, at this point we had given up the will to live.)
22
23 Sean Bean
There was an old man called Sean Bean,
Who felt like he was a teen,
3 women a night,
Always in a fight,
He had more kids than you'd ever seen.
Elijah Wood (a.k.a. FIT ARSE!)
There was a short man from L.A,
Who insisted that he wasn't gay,
He climbed up a mountain,
And pissed in a fountain*,
"He's perfectly straight," they say.
*(Apparently him and Dominic Monaghan got a bit tipsy once and pissed in a fountain)
24
25
26 Orlando Bloom
There was a young elf from Kent,
Who had an inkling he might be bent,
So he kissed some boys,
And played with girls toys,
Then realised he wasn't a gent.
These are it for the moment, but you just wait until my next graphics lesson!
2 THESE ARE CHARACTER ONES!!
3
4 Arargorn (mmmmm)
There was a rugged man from afar,
Who borrowed a Ford Escort car,
He needed a pee,
But crashed into a tree,
And now he fits into a jar.
5
6
7 Gandalf
There was a Wizard called Gandalf the Grey,
Who had lots of bills to pay,
So he magiced a coin,
But got hit in the groin,
And now his dick wanders astray.
8
9 Boromir
There was a son of Gondor,
Who helped to take the Ring to Mordor,
But at Amon-Hen,
Was shot at again and again,
And died in the arms of the King of Gondor.
10
11 Sam
There was a simple hobbit from The Shire,
Who one day set his mother on fire,
He put her out with some water,
But she shrunk a lot shorter,
And she now fits into a tyre.
12
13 Frodo (mmmmm)
There was a fit young hobbit called Frodo,
Who was distantly related to a Dodo,
He squawked and had feathers,
And flapped in all weathers,
But was eaten by a Komodo*.
*(There like these lizard things but are the size of a small car)
14
15 Merry and Pippin
There were two hobbits named Merry and Pippin,
Who went down the road a'skippin',
On the beach hand in hand,
Rolling in the sand,
They ended up skinny-dippin'.
16
17 Gimli
There was a dwarf who carried an axe,
And helped find Merry and Pippin's tracks,
He made friends with Legolas,
And went through Caradhras,
And gave many orcs several whacks.
18
19 Legolas
There was a young* elf from Mirkwood,
Who had some tasty pud,
He ate more and more,
Until he collapsed on the floor,
And realised he'd had more than he should.
*(Ok so he's around 3000 years old, but that's young to elves.)
OK, NOW FOR THE 'ACTOR' ONES!
20
21 Sean Astin
There was a round man called Sean,
Who was caught one day looking at porn,
To his mum's shock,
He was sucking his cock,
But insisted it was merely a horn*.
*(I'm sorry this one is so incredibly crap, at this point we had given up the will to live.)
22
23 Sean Bean
There was an old man called Sean Bean,
Who felt like he was a teen,
3 women a night,
Always in a fight,
He had more kids than you'd ever seen.
Elijah Wood (a.k.a. FIT ARSE!)
There was a short man from L.A,
Who insisted that he wasn't gay,
He climbed up a mountain,
And pissed in a fountain*,
"He's perfectly straight," they say.
*(Apparently him and Dominic Monaghan got a bit tipsy once and pissed in a fountain)
24
25
26 Orlando Bloom
There was a young elf from Kent,
Who had an inkling he might be bent,
So he kissed some boys,
And played with girls toys,
Then realised he wasn't a gent.
These are it for the moment, but you just wait until my next graphics lesson!