One More Time
I hate...
It was a kind of liquified thing. It drowned out rational thought, scorched and killed. And he fed it because he couldn't let it solidify, he couldn't let it consume.
You don't hate it.
Shut up shut up! He needed this. One more time, just one more time, and he'd stop. He just needed this one more time, had to feel it one more time. Had to drown in it cause god dammit he loved this feeling.
but when he spoke like that, he got sad frowns. The expression was familiar. Reminded him of her. But no no! He couldn't think of that, he was killing his mood.
I hate myself...
Sick and twisted little bitch he was. And he knew it. Didn't care. Didn't want to care. He was doing this so he couldn't care! Why wasn't it freezing?! Why couldn't he stop?! It didn't feel good anymore. But he was addicted to it anyway.
He moaned softly. One more time, it was all he needed. Just a little bit more to push him over the edge. Was he a masochist? He was quite sure that he was...wasn't...what? He was bleeding. He stared into hungry eyes as he licked up the blood from the injuries he'd inflicted himself.
God this was good...wrong...whatever.
You should stop...
One more time... he begged. Just one more time and I'll never do it again. Cause he was a good boy and had to keep his promises, or else he'd be punished. But his promises were always worth nothing because he had to do it again. Whatever it took, no matter how much those pitying but hungry eyes reminded him of – NO!
Can't do that. Can't think of that. He was wasting his drugs, wasting his pleasure, his blood. All he wanted was to take it up the ass like the sick bitch he was and bleed.
I hate it. Me. Monster...
He'd forgotten all about everything. Found out knives were the perfect toys cause when he was in pain he felt so damn good. But those eyes tried to grab the knives away. Eerie gold and black eyes that frowned. He knew those eyes were filled with tears when his monster thought he wasn't looking, or was too high to notice. He couldn't quite laugh, so he said nothing.
It's you're fault for loving a slut like me...he wanted to say. It's your fault for trying to save me. But the hollow just stayed close by, made sure he never went too far. Fucked him up the ass cause god knew he wanted it too.
Where'd my proud king go.
Maybe there had been a time when those eyes had smiled, when the pain that was swallowing his hollow heart was enough to bear. But now his king was falling, and he was falling too because he could never leave his king alone. A king never goes anywhere without his horse. The hollow had told him once. But he'd been too busy bleeding, pain, bleed, lust to care.
Lust. Now. Must satisfy it before it swallowed him up and left him shivering and dead and worthless. He was a fucking whore. He was a masochist. There had been a time when his hollow lover had smiled. But that was a long time ago.
Hate me. Hate myself... hafta end it.
He'd let go. But right now this was too much. He knew Shiro loved him, could always feel those nightmarishly beautiful eyes eating him up. Shiro was always eating him up. And dear god he loved it, had to have more, the lust Shiro! Take away my lust!
Shiro couldn't do anything about it. He was a ghost, couldn't do anything but fuck him and lick up sweet drops of blood and cry when he wasn't looking.
"Look at what I've done to you..." he whispered with a smirk. Shiro smiled up at him, as if he wasn't broken from trying to fix himself. "Look at what I've done to you..."
"One more time?" Shiro asked instead of commenting. He eyed the still fresh scars from last night. He nodded, putting on his sweetest smile cause Shiro loved believing he was still innocent.
"Only one more cause I'm a good little boy." he giggled. He was sick.
OWARI
wow. Now it's ichi's turn to mind fuck! This is long... review!