Sure, strange things happened all the time in the supposedly sleepy little mountain town of South Park Colorado. But this time was nothing like crazy celebrities, national scandals, or even alien visits. This time, the only person affected was 17-year-old Eric Cartman.

Despite the years that had passed between the citizens of South Park, nothing much had changed in the way they related with each other. Eric and Kyle still argued every chance they got, Kyle and Stan were still the closest of friends, and Kenny still had an endless store of immature sex-related humor. Craig, Tweek, Token, and Clyde still had their little quartet, Butters was still too innocent for his own good, and Wendy still had Stan wrapped around her finger. Their parents still got shit-faced for the dumbest reasons, Garrison was questioning his sexuality once again, and Mrs. Broflovski still led the occasional nationwide protest. Everyone else was pretty much the same as well, just add on a few years' worth of history.

However, there were some fairly surprising changes, specifically within the famous group of four boys. Stan had become star quarterback of the high school football team, and consequently put some muscle onto his slender form. Kyle was now the shortest of the group of four, but his curly red hair had almost completely been tamed. Kenny finally stopped wearing his hood up, and his lanky figure coupled with his perfectly tossed dirty blonde hair and crystal blue eyes had all the girls, and some guys, entranced. The biggest apparent change was in Eric Cartman. After years of hearing all the "fatass" jokes, he finally took it upon himself to loose all his extra weight. But there had been some truth to his "big-boned" excuse; he was the tallest in the school and had a strong, sturdy build; unbelievably intimidating when paired with his hateful comments. That part of him hadn't changed.

It was way past dark when Kyle, Stan, Eric, and Kenny were walking back to their respective homes after watching the umpteenth Terrance and Philip movie.

"Dude, we shoulda drove to the movies. It's fucking freezing!" Kyle's slightly wavering voice sputtered through clacking teeth.

"Oh what, the Jew can't handle the c…cold? Maybe that's why they were p…put in an oven." Eric replied, earning a scoff from Kenny, although in his mind he had to agree.

"Fuck you, Cartman."

"So what'd you guys think of Terrance and Philip: Asses Abroad?" Stan interjected, quick to stop the argument before it really started.

"Predictable, immature humor, lack of real plot… loved it." Eric's gravely voice sliced through the cold wind with ease.

"Yep." Kenny stated. "This is my street… see you tomorrow at school… if I don't skip."

A chorus of goodbyes chimed from the trio of boys who continued walking towards their own homes after they watched to make sure Kenny made it into his house; he sometimes had a nasty habit of getting killed when he was alone.

Eric lingered back a little bit until he fell behind Stan and Kyle, his strides nearly twice as long as theirs. He checked his watch. Damn, 12:33. We got school tomorrow, better take the shortcut.

As Stan, Kyle, and Eric approached the small strip of woods containing a trail that lead to their neighborhood, Eric spoke up. "It's late you guys, better take the shortcut or it'll be way past one before we get back." The statement felt a little lack-luster to him, so he added, "I know how you sissies hate staying up past bed-time."

"Yeah, I guess that's true. The woods creep me the hell out at night though." Stan voiced as they entered the snowy forest.

They trudged on in silence, an eerie feeling settling upon the trio as they peered through the woods with only their cell phone lights and the narrow path to guide them.

Suddenly, Kyle's voice broke the quiet. "G…guys? Do y…you see that?" He stopped, his green-gloved hand pointing towards a deep crimson splash in the otherwise pure white snow. "I think it's b…blood…" His face had gone pale, as had the other two boys when they had gotten a good glimpse at the red liquid.

"Screw this, I'm going home." Eric grunted as he began to jog further along the path. The other two were about to follow when they heard a surprised shout come from Eric and saw his phone, still casting light, drop to the ground.

Though they could no longer see him, they heard the sturdy teen's yells slowly regress further into the woods. A brief second passed between Kyle and Stan where they considered simply turning away from Cartman and running home, after all, this was Cartman they were talking about. But as they suddenly heard a cry of intense pain come from the usually cocky and poised teen, they left all doubt and sprinted towards the ever-growing screams.

Kyle and Stan found themselves following what looked like drag marks, spotted with what must've been Cartman's… blood. Whatever attacked him had to have been huge, after all, Cartman was a pretty muscle-y teen. They entered a clearing and shined their phone lights on a large black mass.

Black fur shimmered under the light, revealing a wolf. Scratch that. A wolf that was nearly 6 feet tall, pinning a struggling Cartman to the snow. A puddle of scarlet had pooled under the teen due to what looked like a bunch of deep bites and scratches littering his body. His face was ashen, and his cries of pain were slowing down; he was loosing consciousness due to extreme blood loss.

"Fucking Christ! What do we do!?" Kyle exclaimed as he suddenly gripped his best friend's wrist, who immediately picked up a nearby rock and chucked it at the hulking wolf. It hit the wolf on the side of it's neck, and it shot it's head up to stare at the terrified pair.

Suddenly, a flash of light and a deafening crack came from another part of the clearing… a gun. The giant wolf let out a yelp and collapsed on its side, before getting up and painfully trotting deep into the woods.

Kyle and Stan sprinted towards Eric's trembling body, the shooter doing the same.

"Oh my God…" Stan sputtered as he reached Eric first, followed closely by Kyle. The shooter panted up, taking his hood off to reveal himself as Kenny.

"I heard him shouting…" He started but trailed off when he noticed the condition of his friend. Kenny himself knew what it was like to die, but he always, for some reason, came back to life. But that was Kenny, and this time, Eric was the one on the brink of death.

There were two huge claw-mark-like gashes that ripped through his trademark red jacket and his shirt underneath, revealing bloodied flesh. His right leg, which the giant wolf had used to drag him through the woods, had a deep bite mark in it, the pants fabric up to his right knee was torn completely off. His left knee and the palms of his hands were scrapped and bloodied, as if he had tried, in vain, to use or grab onto a root or something to escape the jaws of the huge animal. There were other scratches and bites littering his body, and one particularly deep one stretching across his entire left cheek. Blood trickled from all the injuries, pooling in the white snow around the teen's body. His usual misleadingly soft, chocolate-brown eyes were beginning to glaze over when he gazed at the trio.

"Sss…orry fer th… Jew n poor s'uff… en fer bein' an… ass all… those years…" Eric slurred out.

"Oh my God he's delusional! We gotta get him to the hospital!" Stan and Kenny reacted immediately to the redhead's cry and hoisted up the battered form between them, sharing the weight bridle-style. They began to half-jog back to town. Kyle started to follow them, when Cartman's signature turquoise and yellow hat caught his eye, half buried under stirred up powder. He snatched it up and sprinted after his friends, silently praying he'd be able to see the teen he barely considered a friend wear it again.