I had to take a break from Alternia Stuck today, so instead I wrote a couple one shots :P
Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA, and you are alone. You killed the only troll who truly cared about you, blinded her matesprit, and turned Kanaya's own wand against her in a fit of jealousy. Almost all of your friends hate you, save Gamzee, and you're stuck living in some stupid penthouse that you don't deserve with your stupid dancestor whom you despise. You didn't think it was possible, but even HE was more pathetic than you. Now at least you understood why all your friends abandoned you.
Your dancestor wound up becoming a movie star here on Earth, and he was 'kind' enough to let you live with him. Ya right, more like so he had a reason to make trolls pity him. Or humans. Either way, he was only doing it for himself, and you knew that. You try not to let it bother you though, because you have enough issues to deal with.
For one, you're lonely, but that's pretty much always been a problem. Two, you don't have a job. Cronus had made it very clear that you didn't have to pay for anything concerning penthouse or utilities, but everything else was your responsibility. Food, clothes, medicine, toiletries, etc. Needless to say, you haven't eaten in two days, nor have you used your own bathroom for that same amount of time. Public restrooms were all you had.
Today, you are resolving to fix that second issue and get a job. You applied for a job at an aquatic animal petting zoo place, simply because you missed being near the water. The oceans on Earth frightened you because of how empty they were. On this planet, humans didn't live underwater, nor did the trolls. The whole thing seemed strange to you, but then again, everything seemed strange to you. People made fun of you for the way you dressed even tough it'd been a custom on Alternia for sea dwellers to dress like this. Your fellow sea dwellers mocked you: saying what a poor representation of them you were. Not to mentioned how harassed you were due to your accent. Your life just kind of sucked, but you knew you deserved it.
You shake away your gloomy thoughts and try your best to smile as the receptionist calls your name, meaning it's time for your interview. She doesn't look very thrilled to see you, but then again, she doesn't look very thrilled to see ANYONE. You guess you can understand that, seeing as her job looks boring as hell. You hope the job you're applying for isn't as dismal as this humans' is.
She leads you through large glass doors, past a small pool filled with platypus, and into a dingy office with only the necessities: a cheap metal desk that's no doubt rusting over, a wheely chair pulled up to said desk, a second not-so-wheely chair designed for visitors, and a strange poster on the right wall that reads 'Death Note'. All in all, the room is very basic, and not at all fulfilling your expectations. You would raise your nose in disgust and leave if it weren't for your desperate need of food.
The secretary tells you to sit in the plain chair without the wheels and that the troll running this place will be right with you, and then she takes her leave. You couldn't help but notice how her face scrunched up at the word 'troll', almost like the idea of working under a troll revolted her. You suppose there's still a bit of discrimination, even though the two races have shared this planet for quite some time now.
You wait for a total of five minutes before a troll in a black tank top with a pentagram on it, black unlaced boots, and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans bursts through the door. She has long, choppy black hair and one of the small platypuses from earlier on her shoulder. You watch as she rounds the cruddy desk and plops down in the wheely chairs, facing you and smiling to reveal three sharp fangs.
"Hello, you must be Eridan Ampora?" she basically asks you, to which you respond with a curt, unfriendly nod, "Fantastic! My name is Phaedra Ellistin, it's so nice to meet you!"
She extends a hand for you to shake, which you begrudgingly do. She doesn't seem to mind your attitude, though, and resumes basic hiring protocol.
"I couldn't help but notice that, not only have you never worked a day in your life, but you also have no education whatsoever?" she hesitantly questions. You once again nod, not liking where this was going. This was usually the part where they laughed and kicked you out, telling you to get a life. You always find that remark a bit odd because that'd been exactly what you were trying to do.
You aren't really sure what to do if this job rejects you. This has been your FIFTH interview since you and Cronus made that arrangement, and you were seriously running out of options. You decide to just swallow the rest of your pride and plead with the girl.
"Look, I knoww this is gonna sound wweird, but the reason I ain't got a job is because I just wwoke up here after Sgrub, wwhich is this game that me an' my friends played that destroyed our home planet: Alternia. On Alternia, wwe didn't havve to havve an education or havve jobs cause evverything wwas organized by blood color! I used to be royalty, but noww that wwe livve here wwith these stupid humans, I can't evven livve in the ocean!" you wail, unloading all of your problems onto this stranger, "Not to mention none a' my friends wwill evven talk to me, just because I killed a couple of them and destroyed the matriorb. The only twwo wwho still talk to me are Vvriska, wwho just likes to make fun a' me, an' Gamz, wwho killed twwo of our friends too! This intervvieww is my last chance at makin' money so I don't havve to mooch of off my dancestor anymore!"
You sob into your hands as the girl stares at you like you're one of the animals on display. Even the freaking platypus is just staring at you, congratulations! You peer up from behind your palms just in time for her to shake her head and comment on your little explanation.
"You REALLY want this job, don't you?" she finally says, stroking the head of that judgmental little platypus. You already don't like the creature, but you decide to ignore the fiend and respond to her.
"Oh yes I really do! Cronus has just been gettin' on my nervves lately. Ya knoww, he wwon't evven let me use his toilet paper? Evvery time I havve to go to the bathroom, I havve to leavve the penthouse and find a random public bathroom. It's so embarrassing!"
She nods skeptically and sets the platypus on the desk in front of her. You glare at the little shit as he waddles around, mocking you. Phaedra laughs once she notices you eyeing the creature and scoops him back up just in case you want to hurt it. Which you do.
"Stop mean-mugging Waddles you weirdo," she says with a smile, bringing the animal close to her chest so that it's now sitting on her freaking boobs. Ok, now you KNOW that little bastard is just trying to piss you off and he's doing a damn good job of it! Assuming Waddles is a guy, of course. You mean, who ever heard of a girl named Waddles? Nobody, that's who.
Phaedra clears her throat, forcing your attention away from Waddles. You stare at her dumbfounded, only serving to make her laugh some more. If it weren't for the fact that she seemed so nice, you'd have sworn she was making fun of you.
"Alright look. Since I run this place, I'll give you the job," she provides with a smirk, "but your work will start now."
You offer her one of your VERY rare smiles, grateful that somebody is willing to- Hey wait a minute, what the anglin' fuck? You can't start work today, that's preposterous!
"Wwhat the fuck do you mean I'll 'start wwork noww'?" you asked in an irritated tone. You figure that speaking to your new boss like that will get you fired, but your pointless pride is rearing its ugly head and you don't particularly care right now. Just as you suspected, she frowns and gets out of her chair, probably to escort you out of the building or something, but she surprises you by instead bending over, getting in your face, and pressing a nail underneath your chin so you're forced to face her.
"Look asshole, I'm your fucking boss now, and what I say goes. I don't think I fucking stuttered when I said you'd start work now, did I?" she asks harshly, and you provide her with the answer she wants: knowing she means business, "Mkay then, so I don't need lip from some psycho murderer who doesn't even have his High School diploma. I don't give a damn if you cuss on the job, but don't you DARE give me attitude!"
You nod again and see spades, which you're sure, is reflected in your eyes. You swallow both your spit and your pride, for a second time since meeting this troll, and decide that maybe you might be able to deal with public restrooms a little bit longer. Then your stomach growls and you remember your food situation. Her face softens and she squats down so that you're above her now. You blush at the position she's in, but she doesn't seem to notice. Or maybe she just doesn't care. Ya, it's probably that last one.
"How long has it been since you've eaten?" she asks, making you feel like you're under interrogation. Why was your eating schedule any of her business? Oh right, it wasn't, and you say as much by sticking your nose in the air and huffing. She looks up at you and smiles, which kind of unnerves you. She'd been so upset earlier, why in the world was she beaming up at you?
"I suppose we can hold off on opening a little while longer. I'll have Lizzy inform the other workers that we won't open for another hour at least. Come on, we're going out to eat," she informs you, pulling you by your fins to first put the platypus in the pool, then to the receptionist you encountered earlier. You find yourself becoming slightly aroused at her touch, your fins being one of your sensitive spots. Thankfully, she lets go of you once she's done talking to who you presume is Lizzy and exits the building.
"What are ya in the mood for Ampora?" Phaedra asks, annoying you with the usage of your last name. Nobody associated 'Ampora' with you. That was Cronus' last name, not yours, or at least that's how the public saw it.
"Don't call me Ampora, lowwer blood," you seethe, making her chuckle and drape an arm across your shoulders like she were your chum or something. Honestly, the NERVE of this girl!
"Why can't I call you by your name?" she inquired casually, forcing you to walk with her to some unknown location. You're baffled that she actually gave you ownership of that name, but still a little irked that her arm is around you. People are starting to stare, and you're beginning to worry about what they're thinking. Ugh you probably look like such a pansy right now!
"It's just… Wweird, considering my dancestor is 'The Cronus Ampora'," you explain, figuring she must be pretty dense for not having figured that out by now. Jegus, how did you get stuck knowing her again? Your stomach growls to remind you. Stupid stomach, that was a rhetorical question.
"Uh huh, that doesn't really help me since I have no clue who he is," Phaedra tells you, and you can practically hear the shit-eating grin in her voice, "but you're the only Ampora I know, and if your 'dancestor' is anything like you, then I only NEED to know one Ampora."
You sneer at her snide comment and are about to say something when she informs you that you've arrived at your destination. You look up to see a quaint little restaurant called 'The Land of Affordable and Fine Dining', which makes you wanna laugh. How can something affordable also be considered fine? This title was so misleading, and it was luring Phaedra in like a chump, which meant you'd be stuck going in too.
She retracts her arm for a moment, then grabs your hand and drags you inside. There's an old woman at the front desk who greets the two of you with a friendly smile and small talk.
"Oh my, you two look so cute together! You must be here on a date," she states, and it's so hard to get mad at her for assuming that. You just find her too adorable, even if she is a human.
"Ha! In his dreams," Phaedra says to the woman, and they both share a laugh. Ugh, women. It seemed that no matter the race, they were just as equally agitating. You groan to let her know you're annoyed, and she rolls her eyes and gets things moving.
"Sorry about him, he's just starving. Have a nice day," she apologizes as she pays, then glares at you and makes her way to a booth. You quickly notice that she has taken you to a buffet, which only darkens your mood: you don't need her stinkin' charity. Regardless, you sit across from her, but you make sure to pout the whole time like a fucking wriggler. A male olive blooded troll comes by to take your drink orders and comes back a minute later with two cold beverages.
You sip on yours slowly, and then sputter it out on the waiter because he got you the wrong damn drink.
"I ordered root beer you cod fish, not wwhatevver the fuck this garbage is!" you yell, making a total ass out of yourself in front of everyone there. Phaedra face palms and grabs your drink from you. She takes a sip, and then begins to laugh uncontrollably. You narrow your eyes at her, much like the waiter is doing to you, and demand she tell you what's so funny.
"This IS root beer you douche!" she says, still laughing, "Shit, you really are a dick aren't you? Apologize to the guy."
Upon further inspection, you realize that your drink is, in fact, root beer. Your face turns bright violet, but there is no way in HELL you're going to tell that guy you're sorry. It was his fault for lingering by the table, after all.
"I refuse to apologize to some freakin' loww blood. An' wwhat evven is a dick!?" you ask in frustration as the waiter just leaves, pretty fucking tired of your horseshit. She just laughs at you for a THIRD TIME and gets up to get her food. You follow, not wanting to be alone just in case the waiter comes back.
Once the two of you have piled your plate with food, you head back to your booth only to discover that it has been taken. The waiter from earlier looks at you snidely before addressing the new customers. You groan and set your food down at another booth, deciding to say something to this asshole now that your food is secured. You march over to him, but stop when you feel Phaedra's hand against your chest.
You attempt to protest, but she shooshes you and points at the booth you set your food on, signaling for you to sit your ass down. You do so despite how badly you want to beat that troll to a bloody pulp. Phaedra doesn't sit with you, though and instead places her plate of food in her right palm. With her free hand, she taps the waiter's shoulders, who turns to face her in a huff.
The moment he is facing her, Phaedra smiles cutely and smashes the plate of food against his smug little face. You manage to laugh at this little display, but you don't get to enjoy it for long. She reaches over and grabs your plate, then tugs on your hand and drags you out of the restaurant. It isn't until you're a safe distance from the building that you allow yourself to laugh about it again.
Some of the food had fallen off of your plate, but you don't really mind and scarf down what was salvaged. Tired from running, Phaedra leans against the wall of another building and sprawls her legs out across the sidewalk, forcing people to either go around or over her. She gets a lot of dirty looks, but you notice she doesn't really care, which is odd. Why would she not care what those people thought of her?
Although, you're pretty exhausted yourself, and you never have enjoyed standing around, so you decide to humor her just this once and sit against the wall next to her. You don't sprawl your legs out though. You keep them safely tucked against your chest and out of everyone's way.
"Man, that guy was a total asshole. Am I right?"
"Ya he wwas, wwhat wwith tryin' to make me feel guilty about my drink, and then givvin' our seats awway like that," you add, making her laugh. You find that you sort of like her laugh, and decide that you'll try to elicit more laughs from her.
"Ok he had every right to get mad about the drink thing," she tells you, making you frown. Just whose side was she on anyway?
"It's not MY fault that they ain't got any decent root beer!" you exclaim, earning a few stares from passing-byer's. She just repositions herself so that her head is in your lap and laughs, making you completely forget about why you were mad in the first place. You just keep staring down at her, and her up at you, completely oblivious now to the looks you're getting from strangers.
"How about I just don't open up today," she suggests, in which you nod your agreement. You must look funny or something, because this time she giggles. The sound is completely foreign to you and it just amazes you how endearing a simple act of joy can be to a person. You knit your eyebrows together as you try to figure out why you're even wasting your time with this troll when she reminds you of why all over again by ghosting letters on your chest with her finger.
It seems like randomness at first, but soon you realize that she's actually spelling out words. The same words, over and over again: I like you.
You look down at her in confusion, wondering how your life had changed so quickly. The whole situation reminded you of those stupid rom-coms that Kar would watch, where one day a troll would come along and change another troll's life dramatically in mere minutes.
Her endearment makes you smile, and you trace some words of your own along her stomach with your own finger: I like you too.
…
Five years later and you are now a proud father to three little grubs. Young trolls aren't forced to go through challenges anymore like they were on Alternia, so the parents actually get to raise them. You look down at the precious wrigglers and your face contorts into something that could only be described as a cross between tearing up and constipation. All three of the wrigglers were purple bloods: the color between yours and your wife's, and they were all crawling around on the floor of the living room in your new house.
You're nervous about becoming a Dad, even though Phaedra keeps telling you you'll do fine. What if they hate you? You begin to think the worst when one of your grubs, the one Phaedra had named Raven, begins to inch her way towards you. You don't even notice until the little girl is crawling up your leg. With one final butt wiggle, she's sitting in your lap and rubbing her head against your thigh affectionately.
"Looks like she's going to be Daddy's girl," Phaedra says with a warm smile, Axton and Yakiko already inching up both of her legs. She leans over to kiss you before scooping up the two grubs and nuzzling their faces.
And in that moment, as Raven looks up at you with the widest eyes you've ever seen, you finally know that you'll never be alone.