Disclaimer: Yeah, no, I do not own Glee, otherwise that episode would have gone a lot different.
A/N: Some fun and incredibly touching moments, yes, ... but overall this episode made me sad, and here is why.
All Shiny and New?
Kurt feels like crying his heart out as soon as their lips disconnect and Blaine's wide disbelieving eyes meet his.
It meant nothing. It meant nothing. It meant nothing. ... nothing new.
Kurt knows how he feels about Blaine.
Kurt had thought that Blaine knew before they started the kiss that it would mean everything to Kurt, even tried to mumble what Kurt took there and then as a thinly veiled apology, "We decide now it means nothing and then it means nothing."
The moment that Blaine had mentioned Dave in that affectionate playful way, while they had tried to while away time, and Kurt had turned his head and stared at the wall for far too long, he had thought for Blaine to not notice ... Blaine could have known, should it happen ... that kiss would hurt Kurt far more than it could ever hurt him. But in that moment of mentioning Dave Blaine had not yet considered it a serious possibility, 'Kissing Kurt ever again, yeah, right! So gonna happen.'
Kurt chokes back down the shocked and desperate sound his throat is dying to produce at meeting Blaine's surprised gaze as their kiss breaks. So he turns to the opening doors. Really it is too late already to escape any of this now.
'Surprise,' reading clear on Blaine's features, it had been the last thing Kurt had felt kissing Blaine, dying to lean in, trying, fighting to hold back even still as the press of Blaine's lips on his had grown more and more firm, insistent, urgency only broken by the doors noisily sliding open.
Kurt had not needed the kiss at all to know where he stands when it comes to Blaine, and 'It hurts beyond ...' to be forced to hold that memory close now, of hazel eyes gazing wide and wanton and brimming over with surprise at a feeling, old, familiar, suppressed and chocked down and buried under something new. 'Dave.'
Running down the corridor side by side Kurt keeps trying to shake what is still echoing in his head.
It meant nothing ... nothing new.
It is a thought that enters Blaine's mind only when he curls into bed that night next to Dave, who is already asleep, snoring lightly.
And then another thought enters Blaine's mind, and his tears burst forward without a warning, limbs frozen into place, whole body humming with pain as he fights his insides, trying to not stir that someone next to him awake, that someone next to him who had taken once in those halls at McKinley from Kurt what Blaine had demanded Kurt to bare today, not even thinking that he was about to beg Kurt to accept a kiss laced with a traumatic pain.
A chest-stabbing pain that has Kurt lying awake still at the same time across town in his old childhood bedroom. Wiping the never ending tears away over and over, the one thought stuck in his head ... 'Everything was wrong about that kiss ... and it brought nothing new. Old feelings. Old Pain. It meant nothing ... nothing new but pain.' Blaine's surprise at feeling so much for him clear in his eyes, Blaine's ignorance as to the past of this then not even itself a present ... kiss. Nothing about it real enough, everything about it too real, nothing about it easy.
Kurt knows less than ever how to be friends with Blaine now. How to be '... anything ...with you now.'
A/N: And I hate that they are spinning it into the opposite direction already, because nothing about that feels real to me. Gosh, Glee, take whatever you want, but don't ruin Klaine completely for me:/ Not in the short time we have left together!