Ten things Emmett Cullen is not allowed to do:
Have erotic dreams about Jacob will with Rosalie.
Paint Carlisle face black and claim he a Goth.
Put on drag and walk through London asking people to call him Betty.
Buy Edward mountain lion pyjamas for Christmas.
Read the Bunny story (another one of our stories called the unfortunate tale of a vampire named Emmet) to Renesme.
When Bella and Edward are having a (private) moment upstairs do not burst in saying that Jasper is gay.
Wear tight leather pants.
Grow his hair and tell everyone he wants to be Ozzy Osborn.
Start having Salsa lessons with Jasper.
Walk through the house and streets naked claiming that he's doing freedom of expression.