The Twelve Days of Eragon
Authoress note: Merry Christmas everyone! Making fun of Eragon is well... fun and I consider this my present to myself and everyone who reads this. See if you can guess which characters I actually like (hint: they're mentioned in the story but not made fun of). Dedicated to the author of "Why Galbatorix is Lame" which gave me the "racist elves" thing. I hope you don't mind me using it without permission :-)
Disclaimer: Yeah, CP up and decided to give me Eragon for Christmas. Not. Anywho...
Here goes! Deep breath everybody!
On the first day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... one dysfunctional family!
On the second day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... two crazy kings and one dysfunctional family!
On the third day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the fourth day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the fifth day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the sixth day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... six coward dwarves, five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the seventh day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... seven guys with hammers, six coward dwarves, five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the eighth day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... eight fortune tellers, seven guys with hammers, six coward dwarves, five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the ninth day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... nine pathetic Shades, eight fortune tellers, seven guys with hammers, six coward dwarves, five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the tenth day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... ten rip-offs, nine pathetic Shades, eight fortune tellers, seven guys with hammers, six coward dwarves, five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the eleventh day of Eragon, somebody gave to me... eleven tents exploding, ten rip-offs, nine pathetic Shades, eight fortune tellers, seven guys with hammers, six coward dwarves, five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional family!
On the twelfth day of Eragon, somebody gave to me (deep breath everybody!)... twelve Mary Sues, eleven tents exploding, ten rip-offs, nine pathetic Shades, eight fortune tellers, seven guys with hammers, six coward dwarves, five racist ellllllllves! four werecats, three odd languages, two crazy kings, and one dysfunctional familyyyyyyyyyyy!
Whew! Aren't you all glad that's over? (Watches as all readers who tried to sing as they read pass out on the floor from lack of oxygen.) I'll take that as a yes. Well, please review and tell me if you liked it or hated it or thought it was just plain odd.
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