I fwomped face first in a discreet area of the tavern at Skyhold. My head hurt, my heart hurt, and now I was trying to get drunk.. The weak booze here didn't fix the hurt, just slightly numbed it. I rolled over at the sound of Solas' voice...that ...entrancing voice... I hadn't caught what he said, so I just stared at him from my place on the floor. No doubt looking as shitty as I felt. I had lost my clan, my valaslin, and now my love.. What was I now..just a stupid mark I was never intended to get?
"Andaran ati'shan vhenan"
I said sarcastically, rolling on to my side before I could see the hurt I knew would be in his eyes. Come to think of it, he always had sadness in his eyes. Less at times, but it was always there.
"Forgive me.. that attitude was uncalled for."
I sighed, making sure to keep my face turned away so he couldn't see the tears forming
"You can't wallow forever in a dark corner in the tavern. You need to move on so we can beat Corypheus."
"I don't have to move on to beat his stupid face. Besides we haven't the slightest idea where he is right now."
I rolled back on to my stomach and buried my face in a pile of sweet grass nearby.
"I'm sorry, I never intended to hurt you."
" Then what did you intend? Ar lath ma vhenan. Do you think I didn't know what you said back then? I don't understand how you can go on about how much I mean to you and just...end it."
My voice cracked as tears began streaming from my eyes. So much for booze numbing my senses. I need to make a mental note to borrow some of Iron Bulls booze. I rolled over, and wiped my tears and hardened my expression.
"I've never seen you drink Solas, You should come drink with me." I gave a slight smile. "I think it would make us both feel better, and mine is wearing off already"
"I shouldn't distract you from-"
"From what? Me drinking my self blind? Leliana has her spies working to find Coryphe-piss and right now we've nothing better to do."
I grabbed a few bottles from the shelf and tugged on his arm, attempting a puppy dog face. Touching him again felt so good, I needed more excuses for physical contact.
"We can drink in my quarters and no one has to know about it"I grinned at him and a soft but sad smile drew across his face as he nodded and followed me.
I plopped down on the couch across from him and took a big swig from one of the bottles I had taken then poured him a glass from a separate bottle. Manners and whatnot.
I sighed and leaned back, reaching up to let down my waist length ponytail of silver hair.
"You know, without my valaslin I hardly recognize my self anymore. " I giggled slightly at my comment, and ran my hand along my scalp in an attempt to release the tension from the ponytail. I glanced at him to catch him giving me an odd stare.
" Is... there something on my face? "I blinked.
"It's... I don't think I've ever seen your hair down"
I stared at the hair in my hands, "Really?" I said bursting out in laughter.
" What is so funny?"
I had to catch my breath before I was able to respond
" It's just funny that you, the one I've felt closest to since... well ever really...has never seen my hair down" I started laughing again "It's probably just the alcohol talking." I said, looking towards the sky with a grin. The sun was just beginning to set. I turned my gaze back towards him, still smiling.
"If you'd taken more than just a sip you could be laughing with me you know."
"Inquisitor I don-"
I cut him off again." Please don't shut me out completely. I am not just the Inquisitor, I'm a person too. I get you don't want a relationship, but even without that after all we've been through.. just calling me by a title is almost insulting don't you think? Just...call me Aliah... as I call you Solas...please.." I tried to give him a smile, but I knew my sadness had shown through. I took my bottle again, this time downing a good portion of it as Solas took another drink from his glass.
"Very well...Aliah" I grinned hearing my name.
" So... another world huh... "I looked off again.
"What did you mean?" I was still facing the sky, but my eyes were on him.