Isis: What have you done to my Remmykins?!
Shukkit: Stuff it. Anyway, if you have ever read a fanfic before, you know the disclaimer goes here. If you don't know that J.K Rowling wrote Harry Potter, you are truly among the dense.
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Well... Here goes... Drumroll, please...May I proudly present...
HARRY POTTER AND THE LOVE TRIANGLO-OCTOBLOB... SHAPE... THING. *insert clapping noises*
Lupin was dating Sirius, but now Sirius is dead (obviously). Now Lupin is really pissed off because he just found out that Sirius was secretly going out with Lucius, who was planning on dumping him for Minister Fudge, who was in an extremely kinky threesome with Dumbledore and Filch. Since Filch is always yelling at the Weasley twins, I thought it might be fun to inform you that Fred and George have a passionate, incestous (gee, I hope that's spelled right) relationship. Yea. Now you know.
I should mention that Dudley is still terrified of those two, and is also dating Lily Potter's ghost. Lily would really like to break up with him and start dating Mrs. Norris, but is sort of put off by the fact that Filch keeps threatening to rape her if she touches 'his precious' (hold on... Oops. Wrong series). That and, well, everyone knows interspecies dating never works out anyway.
Luna is in an intense... Uh... Fivesome, which involves Viktor Krum, Professor Snape, Peeves, and Oliver Wood. They meet with each other every other Friday in the Room of Requirement. Sometimes Winky and Kreacher are in there doing whatever it is that perverted house elves do on Fridays (and don't tell me, because I sure as hell don't wanna know).
And now, the third and final paragraph is brought to you by: What's Up My Nose, Inc.
The Bloody Baron has the hots for Voldemort, and Voldemort got a job as a prostitute in the Hogs Head because he needs money to pay for his maijuana. Anyway, he goes around and has one-night stnads with just about everyone while wearing pink, yellow, and silver polka-dotted lingerie from Victoria's Secret. Hermione and Draco are telling everyone they're going out to prevent people from knowing that Hermione is going out with Peter Pettigrew, Dobby, Harry's Aunt Marge, Harry's long lost twin sister, and Cho. What's in it for Malfoy? He's really going out with Harry Potter (He's the main character- his name had to show up somewhere). Harry is currently pressing charges against Michael Jackson; he claims that when he trespassed into Neverland to steal the flying teacups from the uber-l33t ninja monkeys, Jackson snuck up on him and gave him a lapdance. Harry does not, however, deny that he enjoyed it immensely. Jacko provides no comment at this time, but we all know he was dating Lupin who was dating Sirius, but now Sirius is dead (obviously). Now Lupin is really pissed off because he just found out that Sirius was secretly going out with Lucius, who was planning on dumping him for Minister Fudge, who was in an extremely kinky threesome (are you getting a sense of deja vu yet?)
THE END- I HOPE
FLAMERS WILL BE GIVEN A HEARTY PAT ON THE BACK, UNLESS THEY HAVE BAD SPELLING, IN WHICH CASE THEY WILL BE FED TO MY RABID STEPSISTER.