A/N: So, here's my very first Death Note fanfic. I had a great idea for this on Saturday night but after watching my full share of Adult Swim and going to sleep at 5 I forgot it. I still have some ideas but I'm a bit undecided about what to go with so there will be several polls that I'll post so that you can help me decide. For now review and enjoy.

Without You

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, if I did L wouldn't have died, but he did, so there's proof. :D

Chapter 1

Light's P.O.V

I sat up in bed and looked beside me, L wasn't there. I looked on my other side, he wasn't there either. That's when I remembered that I was home. Well, not really home. Home was where your heart was, but the house of brick and mortar that I grew up in could no longer e considered as home for my heart was not there, but with L. It had been with L for a long time despite how much I tried to deny it, how much I tried to convince myself that L was the enemy.

Kira's enemy. It was Kira that wanted L dead not me. I decided that the theory of me, Light Yagami, being Kira was more complex. Instead of Light and Kira being a single personality, a single entity, they were separate. More like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde than anyone could imagine. Kira hated L, I loved him.

"Light," my father's voice called from the outside of my door. "Light, come on out. It's time for breakfast, your food will get cold."

I laid back down, facing the door. "I'm not hungry."

"You sure? At least come down and keep us company then. Your mother and sister haven't seen us for so long, if you're not going to eat then let them see your face." I wanted to point out to him that we'd been home for six days already but I thought better of it.

"I'm still tired, I'm going back to sleep." It was a lie, I wasn't tired. I just found it hard to get out of bed.

"No you're not, sleep is for night time. You're going to come out now and see your family. They've missed us." I didn't respond, I just ignored him and turned on my other side, closing my eyes. The door squeaked signaling that my father came in. I could imagine how pathetic I looked to him, just lying there curled in a ball. "Light, get up." I saw him in my mind, hovering over me with his arms crossed. I didn't move, I didn't open my eyes. I laid there feeling too empty to care about what he would do. "Light, I mean it. Get up." I still didn't move.

All was silent when I felt hands on my ankles, dragging me out of bed. I hit the floor with a thud and looked up to see my father hovering over me. "Now get up and change, I expect to see you downstairs in five minutes. Any longer than that and I'll drag you down there by your ankles." He walked away then, closing the door behind him. After a moment of lying on the floor, the cold hard wood beneath me, I stood up and walked over to my closet. I decided that I would stay in the black sweats that I slept in and brushed my teeth carefully, stalling for time.

I tried to avoid looking in the mirror but curiosity got the better of me after I put my toothbrush away in the drawer. I was frightened by what I saw. I looked sickly. My skin was pale, my eyes had dark circles around them and their original brown color seemed to have darkened to black.

"Light, look at you," a menacing voice echoed. I didn't see or hear anyone come in the room yet I heard the voice as clear as day. "You're pathetic, you're weak. Why? Because you left yourself too wide open, you let Ryuuzaki in. If you listened to me this wouldn't have happened." I looked around me to see where the voice was coming from. There was no one in my room and I had originally instructed Rem to stay away in the day time in case my father could still see him.

"Ryuuk? Rem? Is anyone here?" I whispered. There was no answer 'Great Light. You're losing your mind too.'I stepped out of my room and headed for the stairs, still dragging my feet. When I got down the stairs all heads were turned in my direction.

"All black, Light? Who died?" Sayu joked. "Or did you die? What's wrong? You look horrible." Sayu and my mom both looked extremely worried but my dad didn't look at me. He turned his head away after he saw me enter the room.

"Light, are you alright?" my mom said approaching me and feeling my forehead with the back of her hand. "There's no sign of a fever, are you feeling okay?"

"I feel fine," I said slightly agitated. My father scoffed and gave me a death stare.

"Soichiro, what's going on?" mom asked him. "Light's been like this since you both have gotten back and every time I ask you about it you change the subject."

"I don't want to ruin the moment over such ridiculous matters." He looked at me with the you-won't-ruin-this-for-me face. I just sighed and took a seat between Sayu and where my mother was previously seated. I could feel my pulse in my head and I felt extremely weak.

"What's going on? What's wrong with Light? Tell me now, it doesn't seem to be as ridiculous as you make it sound."

"He's upset because he 'fell in love' with someone he met at work. He thinks it was love, I think it was stupid. He just needs to get back out, he'll forget the person in no time."

"You know that won't happen," I said, tears clouding my vision. "You know I love him."

"Wait, HIM?!" Sayu shrieked.

"Light?" My mother's face was panic stricken and afraid. I looked up at her but tried to avoid making eye contact. "Tell me it's not true, Light."

"Of course it's true," father jumped in. "You wouldn't believe how many times the rest of the crew and I had to pull him and the guy apart."

'The guy? He has a name. It may not be a real one but he has one.' "It's Ryuuzaki," I said softly. The name was painful to say but had to, my father was making him sound like some kind of vicious animal and I couldn't stand to hear it. I was looking down at the table when he went silent. Nobody spoke. I could feel their eyes on me and I really desperately wanted to disappear. I no longer desired to be out of bed. I didn't want to get up in the first place. I got up. "I am no longer well, excuse me." I headed back up the stairs and into my room. As soon as I closed the door the first of the tears fell from my eyes. They continued to fall as I jumped back into bed and cried myself to sleep.

A/N: That went better than I thought it would. I like it. Even though I like it that doesn't mean that I don't need to know whether or not you like it. Reviews would be absolutely lovely. Constructive criticism would be nice but NO FLAMING! If you don't like my Light x L pairing then don't read, it's that simple. I love you all! I'll let you know when I put up my first poll and it would be amazing if you would vote when I do. Chapter 2 will be out soon. Until then tell your friends and your enemies. LOL.

3 Sam