'Tell me do you think it'd be all right
If I could just crash here tonight
You can see I'm in no shape for driving
And anyway I've got no place to go

And you know it might not be that bad
You were the best I'd ever had
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might not be alone

Tomorrow we can drive around this town
And let the cops chase us around
The past is gone but something might be found
To take its place

Hey jealousy, hey jealousy, hey jealousy, hey jealousy

And you can trust me not to think
And not to sleep around
If you don't expect too much from me
You might not be let down

'Cause all I really want is to be with you
Feeling like I matter too
If I hadn't blown the whole thing years ago
I might be here with you.'

~ 'Hey Jealousy' Sung by Gin Blossoms

Author's Notice:  I couldn't deny you guys of a "quality" *sorta* D/P ficlet!  Wheee!  It's actually rather strange and unexplained.  This'll prolly be my last fic until after Christmas seeing as I'll be busy and partying (wheee!)  Oh and about this song…my gosh, I love that song, the lyrics to me are just so fitting and the song itself is gorgeous.  ;)

xo

xo

xo

Once upon a time in London...two children grew up and left all they ever knew behind them. 

They were eleven then.

They are seventeen now.  Seventeen.

They are getting older; they knew so.  And they can feel it in their souls--that worn out, tired sort of feeling that makes you feel like resting.  Their souls are old, they know, and they are old too.

He says to her, on the last day of Hogwarts, at the last possible minute, before she gets into the last carriage...

'Do you think--maybe I can come over during the summer?'

She laughs, one of those 'you're really funny...not' sort of laughs and he's fond of those.  She says, calmly, collected: 'You can come over whenever you please, Malfoy.'

He wonders if this is true and she touches the strap on her trunk.  'Ending speeches were nice; weren't they?  The ceremony...'

'I wanted to cry,' she says, 'I'm so scared...I don't know what's gonna happen next.'

'Those are the best times,' he assures, 'never knowing...just just living.'

'And you know,' he adds once more, 'you don't ever have to be scared.'

It's like time stops and it's sort of like it never started to begin with.  He steps towards her, and she steps back another step.

She says, 'I'm not shying away from you…'

'Cause she can read his eyes.

He taps his foot impatiently on the muddy grass, 'you ought to get into the carriage. It's waiting on you.'

'Right,' she says.  'I'll miss this old place.  I'll miss it. And maybe I'll even miss you.'

'You shouldn't.  I heard you and Blaise are engaged.'

'Yes,' she says tightly, 'we are.  I heard you weren't pleased.'

'I'm thoroughly pleased.'

'You'll always have my heart, Malfoy.'

'Give it to Blaise,' he says, 'give it to your husband.'

'I couldn't,' she says, 'I couldn't even...he's...he's not you.  I couldn't go on.'

'Yes you could!  You could be great!  All in your mind, Parkinson.  You'll be fine...'

'I would've told you first but...'

'I understand,' he tells her with a nod.  'I do.'

She knows this wasn't the way it was supposed to happen and knows she ought to be in the carriage. She wishes they could stay like this forever and maybe even leave Blaise out of this. It'd be nice, she thinks; if she could just leave Blaise out of this.

She didn't go for Malfoy; she didn't go for people she knew would break her heart. And he would too, she knows.  She knows he's got his eye on another girl. She knows she'd play second fiddle for the rest of her life, and the rest of his.

She also knows she's still in love with him.

And she knows he's in love with her too.

It's obscure, getting married when you aren't sure what love is all about.

He says, 'You're all grown up, aren't you Parkinson?  You know what the world's all about now, don't you?'

She laughs.

'Pity, I'll never be able to kiss another man for the rest of my life,' she says with a slight grin.

And he kisses her.

It's just like when they were younger, she knows, and it's just like when you've had a really bad day and you come home and...and it's all better.  Blaise won't know about this, she knows, and he'll never figure anything out.  She'll be loyal to him because it's in her blood and not in her heart.

'Bye,' she whispers.

'I'll come see you later...right?'

'Right.'

'Watch the thestrals when you step...there you go.'

'I love you...' she mouths as the dirty carriage drives out of sight. 

The moon follows her.

'I love you,' he mouths, 'and I'll miss you forever.'

Once upon a time in London...two children grew up and left all they ever knew behind them.

~