My darling, my blood
Roxas loved boxing more than anything. More than life itself. Or rather, boxing was his life. The only time he ever felt really alive was when he was in the ring. He loved every single second of every single match. His everyday life simply seemed dull compared to the thrill he felt when he was fighting.
He had never been one to KO in the first round. Or in the second round, for that matter. In fact, he would always try to make the fight last as long as possible. He always felt empty when the fight was over. It didn't matter to him whether he won or lost. He didn't box to win trophies, he boxed to feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He boxed to feel alive.
Axel often felt jealous of boxing, and then he felt weird about feeling jealous of a sport. He would tell himself that it was silly, the love Roxas felt for his sport couldn't be compared with his love for his boyfriend, could it? It was two completely different kinds of love, right? Still, no matter how different the two kinds of love were, there was no denying that Roxas loved boxing more than he loved anything else in the world, including Axel.
Sometimes Axel found himself planning how they would live when Roxas' boxing career was over. He never spoke of those plans, though. Somewhere in the back of his head, a nagging voice told him that a life without boxing might never be possible.
-
It was some kind of big match, Roxas knew that. Everyone kept on telling him how important the fight was. His coach, his friends at the gym, even Axel. They all seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown. For Roxas this was no different from any other match. He didn't care about who his opponent was, or which title he would get if he won. It wasn't about victory and fame, it was about adrenaline and feeling alive.
The spectators seemed more nervous and more numerous than usual. It was apparently a very important match to them too.
His coach was telling him about the opponent's weaknesses, Axel was wishing him good luck. Roxas wasn't listening. He was focusing on the task ahead of him. He sat like he always sat before a match. Shoulders hunched, elbows on his knees, eyes fixed on his hands.
As Roxas stepped into the ring he felt the adrenaline pump through his veins. He surveyed his contestant. He didn't look very strong, which probably meant he was quick. He almost smiled. The quick ones were always fun.
The match started. Roxas had been right, his opponent was quick. Very quick. But not quick enough.
Roxas hit the other fighter again and again. Halfway through the second round the guy seemed to give up. Moving slower, lowering his guard slightly, taking more punches to the head. Everyone though Roxas would win, including himself.
The fist seemed to come out of nowhere. Roxas had just reached out his arm to punch his opponent in the guts when he was hit in the face. Hard. He felt dizzy. Took a few unsteady steps and fell flat on his stomach.
-
Blue eyes opened slowly. Blinking a few times. Axel was sitting next to Roxas' hospital bed, a nurse was talking to someone at the other side of the room.
"Where the hell am I?" Roxas demanded angrily. "And why?"
No. It couldn't be. He refused to believe it. Falling, sure. Loosing the match, obviously. Hitting his chin against the floor, all right. But damaging his neck so badly that he might never walk again? Might never box again? No. It couldn't be true.
But it was. He'd hit his chin against the floor, and his head had been bent backwards, damaging his neck badly. So badly that'd he'd most likely never walk again, and certainly never box.
-
He planned it carefully. Hiding the morphine the docs gave him. Asking seemingly innocent questions about how much it would take to kill someone. He planned every last detail. There was no life for him without boxing, therefore there couldn't be any holes in his plan.
It would take a lie to say Axel was surprised. He'd never really expected Roxas to continue his life without boxing. Still, he blamed himself for not discovering his boyfriend's secret storage of morphine. For not seeing the signs the Roxas didn't want to live anymore.
Axel left. He drove all night without any plans. He had no specific destination, all he knew was that he was never going back. Axel had left and he was never ever going to return. He'd leave the people and places and memories behind.
I'm leaving you, my love. You've left this world, and now I'm leaving everything that reminds me of you. I'll never come back. I'll travel forever. I'll try to forget you, but I know I won't. You were my life. You were my darling, and you meant everything to me. I can never forget you. My darling, my blood.
------
Can anyone guess which movie this is inspired by? P
Million Dollar Baby is perhaps my favorite move in the world (it's either that or Brokeback Mountain. Can't decide. Both make me cry my eyes out, though). I love it so much. I don't know why I wanted to write this story, but I think I kinda had to. The phrase "my darling, my blood" is just too good not to use.
I wasn't going to upload anything new until after Christmas, but then I got some spare time, so I managed to finish this. There might be new chapters for God Save the Queen and Emotional Raindrops, too, but everything else will have to wait until January. I'll try to write lots over the holidays, but I won't have access to internet until I get back, so from December 23. to January 1. there definitely won't be any updates.
Please review, guys. Reviewers can have a few rounds in the ring with me if they want to (just warning you though, I have a green belt in kickboxing). Love ya, guys. :)