Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. If I did, Jenny would still be Director and Kate wouldn't have died.
All He Needed
Tony DiNozzo leaned on his kitchen counter and sighed inwardly. This wasn't how he'd pictured it.
For the past three months, he had imagined Ziva coming home; seen her walk into the squadroom, turn up at a crime scene; even pictured getting a call from the airport.
None of them involved him needing to rescue her and none of them ended with her curled up in a silent ball on his couch.
She hadn't argued when he insisted on her staying with him but she hadn't agreed either and now he found himself in a silent staring contest – if he could call it that; she wouldn't even meet his gaze.
She hadn't spoken since the terrorist's death and he wondered if she was in shock still.
The silence weighed them down, heavy in the dimly lit apartment, and he couldn't take it for much longer.
He needed to know if she could ever trust him again.
He needed to know she was okay.
He needed to know that he wasn't dreaming.
He tried to find it within him to make some obscure movie reference or chauvinistic joke, even if just to see the familiar glimmer in her eyes when she was annoyed with him, but he knew she wouldn't rise to it. If he was lucky, he might get a half-hearted smile, but that was it.
Crossing the floor to where she sat, he knelt in front of her. "Ziva …"
Ziva finally lifted her head to meet his gaze and he had to bite back a curse. Her eyes were empty and expressionless and he wondered if she had perhaps been killed in that desert and he hadn't been informed yet.
"First of all," he began softly, "I'm sorry for not consulting you when I insisted you stay here tonight; I'm probably one of the last people you want to see right now. On that note, I don't mind if you yell at me or hit me or … whatever else you feel I deserve; I do. Just let me do one thing first."
Without waiting for a response, Tony moved to sit beside her and wrapped a tentative arm around her shoulders. At one point, he wouldn't have thought twice about the physical contact, but he had seen her flinch when Abby hugged her and then again when Gibbs touched her shoulder.
She stiffened against him, but didn't fight him off, and he dreaded the day he discovered what happened out there, because anything that could make his ninja this docile couldn't be good.
For once ignoring her signals, Tony pulled her against him and held her, breathing in her scent. It was mustier, but it was still her.
For a few seconds, they sat like that, his arms holding her, stiff and unmoving, in a soft embrace.
"It's okay." He breathed, barely paying attention to what he was saying or even that he was saying it aloud. "You're safe now."
Ziva made a soft noise and she suddenly relaxed against him, her hands moving to clutch his shirt as she dissolved into tears for the first time he could remember.
For a second, he allowed himself to think that maybe, just maybe, that meant that she trusted him, but after everything, she probably would have cried in front of a lot of people.
He rubbed her back gently, mentally prepping himself for the moment she realised what she was doing and practicing his 'hey, what are friends for' smile.
He should be nominated for an Oscar one of these days.
But that moment never came.
Even when her tears ceased, she didn't move. Her grip on his shirt loosened slightly, but she compensated by moving closer to him.
Her breakdown was over but she was still letting him see that she needed comfort.
She could trust him again. She did still trust him.
She was far from okay, but she was going to be.
And there was no way he was dreaming.
There was no way he could be imagining this moment right now, because he had imagined it a hundred times.
And in those hundred times, he had kissed her countless times, made love to her a couple, told her how much she meant to him and how much he cared about her every time.
Never had he simply held her, content to feel the steady beat of her heart against his chest and to listen to her breathe in his arms.
They could talk later. But right now, this was all he needed.
AN: Urgh, I'm getting pulled over to the dark side. But I must admit; since Kate's dead and all, I am now hoping and waiting for Tony and Ziva to get together (although with the way things are going, we're going to be waiting a long time ...). Please review!
