Summary: Someone had to tell Dean and Sam that they are worth it...that they deserve to survive.
A/N: I don't own Supernatural, nor the song "Perfect" by P!nk which inspired me to write this. Listen to it in any version. Contains mild cussing, maybe spoilers, because heaven only knows...I'd say I set this close to the end of season 9 before Dean's hiatus, I guess? Possessions of Sam and Castiel, mild physical abuse (choking), Destiel mentions and fluff galore with a ton of crack mixed in. I blame the hours and my mood of excitement! ^^ Shri is the only thing I own, and if not for my insanity and for lack of a better word: life skills, I wouldn't have to write this for fun. Relax, enjoy and as the Joker would say, "Let's put a smile on that face of yours."
Perfect to Me
Sitting in a high-end suite in one of the big casinos in Las Vegas, Nevada, Sam and Dean were in the bunker watching some random shows on the television. Something about it made their heads turn away as Dean clicked it off and the screen went black.
"What the hell happened back there, Sam?" he asked quietly almost as if he were asking himself.
"I really don't know, Dean. I mean we did everything we could think of to save her and what was it for?" the moose responded almost choking back tears. "Nothing, Dean. Absolutely nothing…is what we do really worth it at all?" he asked close to tears thinking on his past. "I mean…are we even worth it?" Moose asked with tears now flowing down his cheeks.
"I went through Hell fire and damnation, purgatory, being my own worst enemy, as did you, but in the end we made it...was it truly worth it all?" the squirrel asked.
A knock was heard, as a shadow crossed their doorway. The boys drew their weapons as Dean answered the door as he and Sam quickly blocked the entrance. "Hello?" the figure asked the two males standing at the door.
Sam was the only one who heard as he tilted his head. "Huh?" he asked staring curiously at the figure before him.
Before he could say anything more, the figure stepped into Sam and started throttling Dean forcefully, yelling in what sounded like a feminine voice, "Why in the hell did you let me die, Dean? Why, in God's name, did you let me die?!"
"I wasn't trying to," he spit out almost choking back the tears that threatened to overwhelm him. "We tried everything! Dammit! Everything!" he croaked on that last part almost fighting back tears. "Goddammit, Sam, when did you give a fuck that I saved you?" he asked.
"It's not Sam, you jerk!" she replied almost laughing at her own pain.
"What...the...fuck?" he asked as he was suddenly released from being choked and went back to the couch to regain his composure.
Sam returned to himself as he shook his head as though to shake the cobwebs from his head. "Cas, could you come here, please?" he asked as Castiel was on the other side of the door.
Castiel poked his head around the corner from the room he was supposedly sleeping in for the evening. "Yes? Everything all right?" he asked a bit monotone.
"Not completely," Sam replied. "There was someone here, and I would like your assistance in figuring out who or what it was," he replied. "I doubt it was a shifter, let alone a wendigo," he commented sighing, wracking his brain for information.
Castiel looked at Sam and wandered over to him whispering quietly, "It was Shri."
Sam's expression changed quickly between confusion, anger, and regret. "How...?"
"I don't know, just that it was," the angel of the Lord replied casting his shocking blue gaze at the ground. "What the...?" he started.
"I need your help, Cas," a voice inside his head pleaded. The angel of the Lord knew it was his sister, Shri from the other side. "Only you can save me from this," she told him. He nodded allowing her to take his form. Castiel wandered over and sat next to Dean without asking permission. "I have something I need to tell you, Dean," Castiel said sounding like Sam did earlier.
"What's up, Cas?" Dean asked quietly wondering who it was. "Something you need?"
"I saw you in-" she started as Dean kissed Castiel's form as she was transported back to herself.
Sam started laughing as he held his phone up for the world to watch. Dean's expression was wide eyed as he backed off blushing like hell. "NO CHICK FLICKS, BITCH!" Dean yelled at Sam and Castiel who were, at this point, unsure of what was going on.
"Did someone turn up the heat or is it just me?" Castiel glanced between the brothers almost mockingly giving them the best head tilt and puppy eye combination.
"Wow! When did you learn how to be a sarcastic bitch?" Dean asked jokingly.
"You taught me by actions and through words," Castiel replied stoically as his lips twitched slightly into a sly smile.
Another shadow, another knock, Dean went to answer it and looked at the figure at the door. "Shri?" he asked as his jaw dropped. He was stunned. "But I thought you were...dead?"
"As it turns out, I had a message which I never got to tell you as I was too damn pissed off to tell any of you," she replied blushing lightly. "God wanted me to pass this on as He doesn't say this frequently and I believe Him. Sam, Dean, Castiel...you are beautiful creatures and were made to protect the innocent from situations like demons and hell spawn and shape shifters, all those bad creatures. Not all who wander are lost, boys, but all who wander are eventually found," she commented knowing full well the effect she had on the situation at hand.
"What?" Castiel asked not really comprehending what was being said.
"Let me rephrase this: You save the world, I say you will be saved. You may be hated and hate yourselves, but you are loved by your creator if you wish to believe it or not. You aren't lost, you just have yet to be found," Shri repeated simply looking at Castiel who finally had a look of recognition and understanding.
"Am I truly capable of love, Shri?" Dean asked her unsure of himself.
"Well, if you weren't, I'm sure I wouldn't have been found by you," she replied holding him close to her. "I love you, Dean. If you let me tell you what I was going to say before that weird intermission, you would have found something out about me, hun," she looked down at her feet unwilling to keep her whiskey gold gaze steady with his own emerald one.
"Look at me, Shri and tell me what you know," he told her gently placing his thumb under her chin and raising her gaze towards him.
She shook her head replying, "I doubt you would like it if you knew who tortured you in Hell, Dean."
"What do you mean, Angel?" he asked incredulously.
"One of the souls that tortured you in Hell was me, Dean," she replied her eyes breaking contact with his own as to hide her pain from him.
"Explain?" he asked unwilling to give up.
"Chick flick moments galore," Sam commented on the side.
"Shut up, bitch!" Dean commented crassly. "Shri, you know that you can tell me anything," he coaxed gently as a look of concern crossed his face as he held her close to his body. "I'm not afraid to know about that time anymore."
"You might regret that, Dean," she replied watching his expression carefully. His expression was soft as he watched her explain. "It was me who tortured you in Hell. I was the soul that hurt you and put you through that punishment. Mary would have killed me for doing such a thing to either of her sons knowingly. I gave up, Dean. I just gave up and stopped fighting against Alastair. I didn't know what to do. Six months on Earth is a lot of time in Hell, and I'm sorry," she said continuing to look down at the floor.
Dean looked at her carefully. "It all makes sense now...why the soul was so afraid to hurt me, the clues they gave me, they all led to you, Shri," he replied his face mere inches from her face now. "I forgive you, darling," he cooed gently holding her close to him. "We all have our scars, I guess," he joked lightly kissing her softly with a need even he couldn't explain.
Sam and Castiel left the room to allow them their privacy. Castiel looked to Sam and smiled softly. "Well, I guess that means we're family, Sam."
"We were family before this, but this just solidifies our bond that much more," Sam replied opening his arms to Castiel.
Castiel hugged Sam closely patting him on the back. "I'm glad," he replied.