Okay, so I really shouldn't be starting a new story when I have three on-going stories already, but I don't care. I've wanted to write this for so long, and nothing anyone says can convince me otherwise.
It'll be purely humorous – intended to be, anyways, but I expect that I'll add some seriousness to it at some points – and not have any particular plotline, so I can just write it whenever and not plan it out at all. I'll warn you, though, it'll be full of hundreds of sexual endeavours, crass language, gaming the system and mindless killing. Ah, all of the things that I love.
Yes, this is a time-loop if you haven't guessed already, the one thing I adore more than anything in the world, and yes, this is so crack-y that it's almost ridiculous. But you can blame people like Innortal, The Wandering Delusion, and ShaperV, along with many more authors and authoresses that have created fantastic pieces of work revolving around time-loop and completely gaming the system. And now, it's my turn.
Let's hope that I can live up to their legacy.
Play.
"My name's Uzumaki Naruto, and the demon in my gut is telling me to open the seal so that he can devour your souls and destroy the village. But don't worry, he's on time out until he learns that ripping people's heads off and playing catch with the Sanbi is a no-no."
Rewind.
Play.
"Yo, yo! The name's Uzumaki Naruto, 'ttebayo! Being a jinchūriki's my gig, and this whole test's gonna be a rig. Kakashi may have the sharingan, but I'm still gonna kick his bun! Sakura's into gay porn, and Sasuke has a tiny horn. Now I—"
"NARUTO! YOU'RE SO DEAD!"
Rewind.
Play.
"The name's Uzumaki Naruto – remember it, it'll be the name tattooed on your ass when I own you guys."
Rewind.
Play.
"I am Uzumaki-Namikaze Naruto, son of the Yellow Flash and third jinchūriki of the great Kyūbi no Yoko. I don't expect much; only that my team mate's aren't hell-bent on revenge, fangirls, or disregard my father's wishing by spending their whole time reading porn and crying over his dead body, rather than getting on with their life. Oh, and by the way, Kakashi, the soul fragment of my father in my head says he's very disappointed in you. And mother says that she'll kick your ass when you finally pass on, 'ttebane."
Rewind.
Play.
"My name's Uzumaki Naruto. My likes are having orgies with my girls, making Tenten make that adorable squeaking sound, and when we involve ramen in one of our…nights. My dislikes are when someone interrupts our time alone, and when Temari's unable to make it since her father's being a dick – as usual. My dream is to have sex with each of my girls on every Hokage's head, as well as finally spawn my legion of children that will destroy the world in a fit of pranking and sex-deviant activities, and remake it into a ramen utopia. Kami bless Ramen. And the bountiful bosoms of kunoichi everywhere."
"Amen," Kakashi idly spoke up as he flipped another page in his book.
Rewind.
Play.
"K-Kakashi-sensei…"
Kakashi looked up from his book to see the (late) form of his blond student staggering towards him, one hand wrapped around his stomach and looking like he would pass out any second.
"Naruto!" Kakashi's only female shrieked out before he could talk to the blond, waving her fist at the boy who was slowly and agonisingly making his way over to them. "You're late, you idiot!"
Surprisingly, the boy ignored her and Sasuke's scowl towards him. Instead, he slumped forwards at Kakashi's feet, barely managing to look up at the man with wide, fevered eyes. "Sensei…"
"What is it, Naruto?" the jōnin asked calmly, even though on the inside he was rather worried by his student's appearance. He then proceeded to squat down to meet one of Naruto's grasping hands, as the other was still wrapped firmly around his stomach – which, quite frankly, scared Kakashi a little.
At Naruto's beckoning, Kakashi leant down more, his ear basically hovering over Naruto's mouth.
The young boy managed to gasp out "It's free…" before passing out.
After taking a good look at the black lines in a broken array on Naruto's stomach, Kakashi followed him shortly.
"Ha!" Naruto shouted out, standing up and dusting himself off like he hadn't just fainted away and caused Kakashi to do so as well. "Serves the bastard for finger-raping me again last loop."
Rewind.
Play.
When Kakashi entered the Academy classroom to pick up his brats, he wasn't expecting much. Just a fangirl, the last Uchiha who had some serious family issues, and his sensei's son who was, ironically, the Kyūbi jinchūriki, just like his mother.
He certainly wasn't expecting, halfway through Naruto's introduction – which was going slowly due to Sasuke's snide comments always interrupting – for the blond to snap and turn on his possible-teammate, shouting out something that could've been a technique. Except Kakashi had never heard it, and he had heard and mastered most jutsu that the Elemental Countries had to offer.
It was a distinct shock for everyone gathered when Sasuke vanished in a puff of smoke, only to be replaced by a rather bemused Naruto. And Kakashi meant another Naruto, as the original was off to the side of the Sasuke-turned-Naruto, looking mightily pleased with himself.
"Woah," Sasuke-Naruto said, staring down at his hands, "this is awesome, 'ttebayo!" The boy then stood up and began moving in a very Naruto-like fashion, sprouting nonsense about ramen and his cravings the whole time.
Sakura was the first one to react.
She let out a massive, warbling scream of "NOOOOOOOO!" before Naruto cut her off.
"Aw, can it," the blond scoffed before smacking her in the arm.
The pink-haired girl went up in a puff of smoke, and Kakashi wasn't as surprised as he had been the first time when a Naruto emerged from the smoke, already crying about being Hokage. No, more like scared.
Then, oh so slowly, the three Naruto's turned their heads to look at Kakashi, freakily and uncharacteristically blank expressions on their faces.
Sakura-Naruto started to speak in a low voice, the words coming out in a playful manner that sounded rather like a chant. A crazed, cult chant.
"One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us."
Then, the chanting started from the Sasuke-Naruto, making it a duet of demonic-sounding children voices.
"One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us."
Finally, the original Naruto joined in, and like an unspoken command, their voices picked up in volume and speed.
"One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!"
When they advanced, Kakashi let out a whimper of fear before hightailing it as fast as he could out of there.
Screw sensei's son and his obligation to Obito, there's no way he was being converted to a ramen-eating, Hokage-obsessed genin brat who wore orange! What kind of fucking ninja wears orange?!
Wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, Naruto shared a high-five with his kage bunshin. "Oh man, that was fucking awesome. We have to remember this one for another loop. Do you guys reckon we could swap everyone in the village with a kage bunshin and do this on a larger scale? I want to finally see Kakashi-sensei snap."
"Eh," one of the kage bunshin shrugged, "we could give it a shot, that's for sure. It would only take a few loops to find out where and who Kakashi would turn to next, swap out the people he goes to, and—"
"Wait for the chaos," the other kage bunshin cackled, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "I like the way you think!"
The original Naruto face-palmed at that, again struck by how stupid his replicas could be sometimes, even after several repeats of reading up whatever he could from the library. "We're the same person, you idiot."
The kage bunshin in question stuck out his tongue in answer, before seemingly realising something. "Hey, do you reckon we should release teme and Sakura?" He exchanged a look with his fellow look-alikes, before they all shook their head in answer.
"Nah."
Screaming through the rag that had been unceremoniously shoved in his mouth by Naruto earlier on, Sasuke frantically tried to wriggle as far as he could from the person currently crawling up his legs, never mind the fact that he was in a broom cupboard and there wasn't much room in there for all of the mops and brooms, let alone two pre-pubescent teenagers.
"We're all alone, Sasuke-kun~!" Sakura sung out in what she thought was an alluring voice as she wormed her way closer to her crush, the bindings on her arms meaning that she couldn't use them to hold the Uchiha to her. Never mind that, though, she was sure that she could manage just fine without them. "Come here, Sasuke-kun, I have something I want to give to you."
Nearly beginning to cry, Sasuke wasn't sure what to curse; Sakura's ability to spit her gag out of her mouth at an alarming speed to coo words in his ear, or his brother. Because everything was his brother's fault.
Yes, the fangirl currently nibbling on his earlobe was all Itachi's fault. Definitely his. Oh, how that bastard would pay; for taking Sasuke's family, and for indirectly taking his virginity from him.
Rewind.
Play.
When Kakashi shushined up to the Academy roof after telling his students to meet him there, he was distinctly surprised to see one of his students already there. He was about to comment about the boy's speed, but was shortly caught up on what the boy was doing.
Namely, holding a spyglass to his eye and giggling to himself as he looked over the rooftops of Konoha to something that only he could see.
And judging by the direction he was pointing the spyglass at, Kakashi thought it was safe to say that he was looking into the female-only onsen that was nearby; lucky bastard.
Before Kakashi could ask if he could have a peek as well, his other two students came bursting out from the rooftop doorway, both of them panting slightly after obviously hurrying up the stairs. The girl, upon spotting Naruto, was instantly screeching about how he had cheated to get up here before 'Sasuke-kun.'
For his credit, the blond didn't flinch, merely flapping a hand at her in a dismissive manner as he continued to stare intently through his spyglass – Kakashi could only begin to wonder how powerful that object was, as the onsen was still pretty far away.
Sighing to himself, Kakashi decided to stop the squabble between Sakura and Naruto before it could really take off; he really didn't need to hear high-pitched, squealing kid voices this early in the morning.
"Alright, kiddies, sit down and shut up. I'm your sensei Kakashi Hatake, and I want to learn some things about you kids, so why don't you go ahead and say whatever you want about yourselves. You first, Bubblegum."
At first, Sakura had scowled at him, and asked what she had to say. But when Kakashi provided the answer of 'You know, your likes, dislikes, dreams.' she had blushed brightly and stammered out a response mainly around the brooding Uchiha next to her; as expected.
When Sasuke had said his introduction – if a few grunted words could be called that – Kakashi had been mildly disturbed by his dream, but not at all surprised by it. He had seen his psyche evaluation, after all.
"And lastly, you, Sunshine." Kakashi said, bobbing his head towards Naruto, who hadn't done or said anything during the whole introductions, only letting out a couple of giggles and adjusting his spyglass.
But now, the boy tucked away the spyglass into a very familiar coat – except it was a bright orange, rather than the original green – and turned with a flutter of his long, spiky ponytail and a tap of his sandals.
"I am…" the blond began in a rather grand tone, "the great and gallant, Uzumaki Naruto!" He then proceeded to hop about in a manner that Kakashi found all-too-familiar, and spin and flick his hair to send the golden locks flying. "Women swoon at my every move and men wish that they were as cool as me! The wind itself bows in my presence, and demons drop to their knees when they see me coming! I'm the tamer of evil, of lost souls and of babes! The very earth trembles beneath me and the sky roars in triumph of my feats!"
Naruto then struck a pose, winking at Sakura who, shockingly, blushed a bit at the sudden and suave move.
"Oh Kami…" Kakashi sighed, kneading his brow slightly. "Don't tell me; you're a pervert as well?"
"Perish the thought!" Naruto said in an offended manner, sweeping one arm across his brow in a dramatic manner. The image was ruined, though, when he turned with a lecherous grin towards Kakashi, offering him a thumbs-up. "I'm a SUPER pervert!"
Rewind.
Play.
"I can show you," Kabuto said in his faux adorable-genin-who-wouldn't-hurt-anyone voice, "with my ninja-info cards."
But before he could begin to show the special cards he had made, specifically to impress the genin teams in front of him – including Sasuke's – the blond brat in Sasuke's team was leaping forwards, drawing a pack of cards out of his own ninja pouch. "I challenge you to a duel!"
"A duel?" Kabuto asked, pretending to be completely taken aback by the whole situation, while on the inside he was snickering at the ridiculousness of the situation and everyone else's shocked look.
"Yep!" the blond known as Naruto said determinedly, brandishing his own pack of orange cards at Kabuto. "A duel of the best ninja-info cards!"
While he easily agreed with the boy's challenge, Kabuto was inwardly cackling madly over the fact that he would win easily. He was a master spy, and knew almost every key strength and weakness of the important people in the room. He knew the statistics of every village, and who were the people to look out for. There's no way he could lose.
"You go first," Naruto said to Kabuto, barely noticing everyone's interest in the scene he had caused – he was much too excited over the fact that he was doing something new and exciting in the loop. Coming up with new scenarios every loop was hard, and whenever he got a chance to shake things up and change things, he savoured it.
Offering Naruto a nod, Kabuto then turned to Sasuke offering up his cards. "Who do you want info on?"
"Neji Hyūga and Sabaku no Gaara," the Uchiha said instantly, his gaze hard.
After rattling off all of their mission rankings, teams and family information, Kabuto sent a barely concealed smug look towards Naruto, who was currently shuffling through his cards, looking for something.
"Aha!" the blond finally said, pulling out a couple of cards and pushing chakra into them. He quickly read over the information on them, nodding to himself the whole time. "Okay then; Hyūga Neji. It says here that he has a strange obsession with fate after his father, the twin to Hiashi Hyūga who is clan head was killed in retribution for Hiashi killing a Kumo-nin who had tried to kidnap Hinata Hyūga, Neji's cousin and the only girl her age to successfully infiltrate the male onsen. Also, the best kisser of her age. Like, damn, she's good."
Off to the side, Neji had an aghast, traumatised look on his face as he rocked back and forth on the ground, whimpering about his daddy.
Nearby, Hinata had blushed a bright red and passed out, leaving her teammates to tend to her with confused expressions on their faces and numerous questions buzzing in their mouths.
"As for Sabaku no Gaara," Naruto hummed, not looking at all that concerned with the chaos that was breaking out around him as Ino shrieked about how she was the best kisser of their age, and Sakura fought with her. "Well, he's the jinchūriki for Shukaku, the Ichibi. He's mentally deranged after being hated by the village for his entire life and Yashamaru, his uncle and the only person he trusted, tried to kill him. He thinks Shukaku is his mother, and enjoy killing people and long, lonely walks along the sand. His sibling Temari and Kankurō are terrified by him, but are powerful shinobi in their own right.
"Kankurō uses a puppet called Karasu, and secretly wanks to pictures of other puppets. He thinks painting his face makes him prettier, but everyone disagrees; it make him look like a little bitch." Naruto shuffled his cards, brushing off Kankurō's embarrassed and enraged killing intent that he was directing towards him. "And Temari is a fan-wielding, sexy bitch who's get offs are being a dominatrix and a man who can get her tickle spots."
With a cheeky grin matched with innocent eyes, Naruto looked up at the stunned Kabuto, tuning out the enraged shouts being directed towards him. "I think I just destroyed the last bit of your life points."
Rewind.
Play.
"Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can~!" Naruto sung as crawled up the tree Kakashi had told them to using chakra. "Can he swing from a web? Of course he can, he's Spiderman~!"
Much to his team's shock, the blond shot out several strands of ninja wire from a gauntlet on his forearm and began swinging around the forest they were situated in, right by Tazuna's house.
"Look out, here comes the Spiderman~!" Naruto shouted as he swung over his team's head.
Man, did he fucking love screwing with his teammate's heads.
Rewind.
Play.
Naruto hummed to himself as he continued to smash through Haku's ice mirrors without a care in the world, never mind that the boy was currently launching dozens of senbon at him and trying his best to make a kill shot, or at least hit some pressure points to make the blond's muscles freeze up.
But the Hyōton user didn't realise that Naruto had long since learnt to push chakra from his tenkyutsu points, making any attempts to hit him null and void.
"Ice, ice, baby," Naruto warbled as he proceeded to smash the last mirror and turn on Haku, who was beginning to look distinctly panicked. "Da, dun, dun, dun, du, dun."
Rewind.
Play.
Anko smashed through the window into the exam room for the first part of the Chūnin Exams, simultaneously doing a flip as she flung two kunai out to pin the banner she had spent all of last night making to the wall behind her. "Have no fear, the utterly awesome and sexy Mitarashi Anko is here!"
"Oh Kami!" One of the brats in the front row began to howl out, standing up in his seat and sending his chair clattering back. "The awesomeness, it burns!"
Much to the room's surprise, Naruto's eyes were a poisonous white and steaming slightly as he clawed at his face. "IT BURNS!"
The blond then fell with a clatter over the desk he had been previously sitting at, clutching his eyes as he twitched and shuddered.
"Naruto-kun!" the previously shy Hyūga who was sitting next to him cried out. "I'll save you!" She then leapt over her own desk to kneel by Naruto and give him mouth-to-mouth.
'Best idea ever…' Naruto thought dazedly as Hinata slammed her mouth into his and blew in an attempt to 'bring him back.'
Rewind.
Play.
A creepy laugh rung out through the clearing that Team Seven had been trapped in, making Sasuke and Sakura shudder at the sound. It was only the first day of the second part of the Chūnin Exams and already they were facing against an opponent who could kill them.
Naruto, on the other hand, didn't look too concerned about the suffocating presence and terrifying laugh surrounding him. He hummed to himself, absently looking around the tress nearby in interest.
Suddenly, a figure melted out from the trees, causing Sasuke and Sakura to whirl towards them with quiet yelps.
The female from Kusa grinned at them, licking her lips with her creepily long tongue. "Ku, ku, ku. What do we have here? Three little birdies, shivering in fear? Well, this snake—"
"HOLY SHIT!" Naruto suddenly bellowed out, pointing an accusing finger towards a rather taken aback Orochimaru. "IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!"
The Snake Sannin scowled at him, hiding his confusion under anger. "What the hell are you talking abo—?"
"I'm a huge fan!" Naruto yelled out to him, flourishing a silver and sparkly glove that had somehow appeared on his hand at the S-class missing-nin. "Sing me a song!" the boy continued, doffing a hat low on his face, his hair suddenly longer and sleeker – much like Orochimaru's in fact.
"Wha—?" was all that Orochimaru managed as he watched the blond, now decked out in a suit and tie, glide backwards on the tree branch he was standing on, his feet moving in a particular motion.
Naruto didn't respond, merely spinning around on his heel and grabbing his crotch to do a hip thrust at Orochimaru. "He he!"
Rewind.
Play.
"Bitch kick~!" Naruto crooned as he slammed a vicious kick against Zabuza's face before he could trap Kakashi in the Water Prison jutsu. He then neatly back flipped away from the surprised shinobi, landing without a stumble on the lake's surface.
"Get away from here, Naruto!" Kakashi managed to gasp out after he got over the shock of his student coming out of nowhere and kicking his opponent in the face, let alone fucking water-walking. "He'll kill you! Take Tazuna and run!"
Flapping an unconcerned hand towards his sensei, Naruto cocked his hip to one side and lay an unimpressed look on Zabuza, who had recovered from the hard kick and was now glaring at the brat who had hit him.
"Don't worry, Kaka-sensei, this guy's just a little bitch with a big sword that obviously compensating for something." Naruto sent a suggestive eyebrow wiggle towards Zabuza, who turned a bright red in response. "You little punk!"
"Little sword~! little sword~! Zabuza has a little sword~!" Naruto sang as he danced around Zabuza, pointing and making faces at the missing-nin.
"SHUT UP!" Zabuza roared out, surprisingly nearly reduced to tears. "I don't have a little sword!"
Up in the tress nearby, Haku sighed in exasperation as he watched his Master be reduced to a tantrum-throwing, little baby at the blond boy's taunts.
He knew he should've sent Zabuza to the shrink after discovering that the man had issues due to years of taunting from his fellow ninja about his little sword.
Rewind.
Play.
Grinning wickedly to himself, Naruto sat in barely contained excitement in his seat, watching the doorway to the classroom expectantly.
After a few loops of watching, careful timing, a few experiments and several interesting instances of henge failures, Naruto was sure that this time his plan would work; he could hardly wait!
Ignoring Sasuke's annoyed grunt from next to him as he bounced in his seat, Naruto's grin only got bigger as he heard the trampling sound that signified that Ino and Sakura were approaching. Right on time, as usual.
"I'm going to win, Ino-pig!" Sakura howled out as she pushed against her rival, attempting to shove her out of the way so that she had a clear run to her classroom door.
"Not on your life, Billboard brow!" Ino screamed back, pushing right back before diving for the doorway alongside Sakura for first place.
Neither of them were expecting a blur to shove past them and enter the classroom before them.
When they collapsed to the ground after shoving their way through the doorway, both Ino and Sakura looked up at the familiar face grinning down at them.
"I win!" declared Naruto, "I beat you both, and now I get to sit next to Sasuke!" But it clearly wasn't Naruto when he was a few years older, had longer hair and, oh, had boobs and hips that most girls would kill for.
The clearly female Naruto turned heel on Ino and Sakura and went diving across the room, her jumpsuit flapping as she commando rolled and popped up in front of a shocked Sasuke. She wasted not time, throwing the real Naruto to the side out of his seat and taking his place. Leaning up close against the still shell-chocked Sasuke, Naruto-female then shoved herself up against him, capturing his mouth with hers.
At first, Sasuke attempted to escape, but Naruto's tight grip around his shoulders and several seduction jutsu learnt from numerous loops with Anko meant that he was going nowhere, and was actually getting into the ferocious make-out session.
Almost every girl in the room let out a terrified shriek that hurt Kiba and Akamaru's ears before passing out simultaneously.
On the floor, Naruto was cackling to himself as he watched his oiroke-kage bunshin make-out with his 'rival.'
True, it was actually him kissing Sasuke, but after hundreds of loops and several benders with Anko as his sensei meant that the blond was pretty nonchalant about sex and his own partners.
"Ahhh," the blond sighed, wiping tears from his eyes, "I have to do this again on a bigger scale. I wonder if I could convince Anko to pretend to be my girlfriend and make-out with me at the exams…"
Rewind.
Play.
As Kankurō dropped the brat that had been revealed to be the Hokage's grandson (according to the blond genin in front of him), Gaara appeared in a swirl of sand, scaring the crap out of the puppet-user.
"G-Gaara," Kankurō stuttered out, recoiling from the younger boy that was glaring at him. "I was just joking! I was playing around, I swear—!"
"Shut up," Gaara said coldly, cutting the boy's stammers off, "before I kill you." The redhead turned from his weak siblings, expecting to see the blond boy and the pink-haired girl to be standing there, but was distinctly surprised to see the blond barrelling towards him, arms out wide.
"BROTHER!" Naruto yelled out joyously, throwing himself at the shocked Gaara.
Of course, the Ichibi jinchūriki's sand came up to ward off the 'attack,' but that didn't deter Naruto as he quickly settled for hugging the sand that was currently holding him up in the air. "Ah, my brother!"
"B-brother?" Temari managed to choke out, staring at the Konoha genin in shock. "What the hell? You're not our brother!"
"I'm Gaara's brother!" Naruto replied happily, beginning to attempt to scramble down the sand to hug Gaara. "Jinchūriki brothers! C'mon, give me a hug, bro!"
The redhead stared hesitantly up at the boy still attempting to get to him. "H-hug?"
"Yep!" Naruto agreed easily. "We jinchūriki need our hugs, and as your brother, I'm obliged to give you one as soon as I see you!"
Temari and Kankurō proceeded to watch in shock as Gaara slowly let the boy down to hug him. It would've been an adorable sight to see the redhead carefully hug the blond like he would break, and for Naruto to clutch Gaara in a big bear hug, but Temari and Kankurō were both waiting for the part when Gaara snapped and murdered the kid in a spray of blood.
But after a few moments, the two siblings began to warily let their guards down and creep closer to the two hugging 'brothers.' As they got closer, they finally heard the hushed conversation that the two were having.
"So you're like me?" Gaara asked Naruto hesitantly, never lessening his grip on the blond.
"Uh-huh," the blond replied, not minding the Suna-nin's tight grip on his jumpsuit, "I've got a fuzzball in my gut, while you have a sandy one. They're both a bit grumpy, but I've managed to make some peace with mine; he still wants to crush some of the people around me, and he doesn't like me much, but he'll help me out if I help him. So we're all good."
Gaara frowned slightly, his brow creasing. "But Mother says that—"
"Shukaku ain't your mum," Naruto said snappily, "he's trying to convince you that he is, but he's just an insane asshole who gets off on manipulating people and driving them mad."
Gaara flinched at that, his hands going up to his head as Shukaku pushed chakra to his head to cause an intense pounding sensation. "Mo—Shukaku doesn't like you."
"Well I don't like him," Naruto returned easily, unhooking one arm from Gaara to start leading him towards Temari and Kankurō who were standing nearby with their jaws hanging around their knees.
"Tell you what, Gaara," the blond continued, "I'll play some games with you; I'm sure that'll distract you from Shukaku's asshole-ish behaviour."
"Games?" the Suna-nin asked hopefully, looking rather excited by that suggest. "Do you mean playing ball and on the swings?"
Naruto nodded with a grin as they breezed past the two siblings staring at them in shock. "Whatever you want, brother!"
Temari and Kankurō could only stare after the retreating pair, unsure of what this new development meant for them and the invasion that was going to come shortly.
"Gaara!" Baki yelled out to the boy standing nearby who had knocked the Uchiha unconscious in his match before the feathers had fallen and the wide-spread genjutsu had activated. "Begin the plan! We have to—"
Without looking, Gaara made a fist of sand and slammed it on the annoying man, crushing him like a bug. There was no way that he was going to go against his brother and his village. Screw the invasion and the plan, Naruto had promised to play on the see-saw after this.
"Holy shit," Naruto said as he stood on an apartment rooftop and watched Gaara absolutely destroy any Suna or Oto-nin that he came into contact with. "I think this was one of the best ideas I've ever had; I've got to use this when I get out of the loop!"
Rewind.
Play.
Skipping around the ANBU that he had managed to shackle around one of the larger trees in Konoha, Naruto tapped their heads one after another, keeping up the innocent kid attitude to annoy them.
"Duck, duck, goose!"
Upon tapping an ANBU with a mask shaped like a tiger, Naruto drew a pellet from his Ninja pouch and tossed it at the shinobi, clapping excitedly when it exploded. The ANBU wasn't so impressed when green slime dripped down his mask before steadily staining his uniform a toxic colour that really shouldn't have shown up on black. Just what the hell was in these pellets?
"This is so demeaning..." Yugao sighed behind her mask as the blond-haired genin skipped around the tree once more, tapping each head lightly as he went.
"Oh, shut up," one of her comrades snapped from nearby, "at least you don't have fucking shit from the Inuzuka compound in your gear!"
Okay, so I didn't do too many loops in here, but this was just a test. I'll focus mainly from the beginning of Naruto to the Chunin Exams for a while, then I'll branch out to every part, including Shippuden. I can't wait to troll Tobito! But it's surprisingly a lot harder to write a loop story than I thought. There's literally no aim to it, so it's hard to come up with little plot points that are funny and witty.
If you guys have any ideas, please PM me, 'cause I'd be happy to create whatever wacky idea you have. Nothing's off-limits, either. I'm prepared to do anything.
I'm also going to bring in other characters into the loop after next chapter, so you can incorporate as many people as you want into your plans. Sasuke and Sakura will join Naruto next, and they're going to be in the loop together forever now, and they'll be the main people I'll concentrate on.
However, I was curious if you guys want me to do FUBAR loops as well? You know, fused loops in which several universes get crossed-over. I know Innortal did it really well, and I'd be more than happy to do so, it'll just be hard since I'm not part of many fandoms.
Anyway, I'll set up some polls on my profile, so have a peek there or just PM me or whatever. I'm all cool for anything.
Ciao.
P.S. Mimic is underway, so everyone can chillax about the next chapter for that story.