Heck. The book, "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," my being a super Aeris fan, and the sheer boredom all conspired to write this one-shot. No FF7 content owned by yours truly.

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Endings

She slowly turned. Slowly. It was such a beautiful scene: she was set against a bright light; she was leaving the church just as lightly as she used to enter during her childhood; her long auburn tresses swayed, revealing a strikingly beautiful face with bright emerald eyes – it was a beauty so perfect, yet so sad. So sad. It was so sad that it could pierce hearts. So sad.

"You see? Everything's… alright."

And the blond she addressed said to himself:

"I know. I'm not alone."

So… beautiful. Yet it was so… sad.

"CUT!"

"WHOOOHOOO!"

Everyone cheered; for them it was evident: Advent Children would be a success. Guaranteed.

Cait Sith was deactivated – who'd need him now? Red XIII? Back to the dog pound for all people care. Barret rushed away; he had an urgent business that just couldn't wait. What was it? No one knew. Vincent's crew immediately rushed over him to do retouches to his handsome looks. Yuffie trudged to the nearest pew and slumped herself on it; she was that tired. Cid, Tifa, and Zack went out to buy some booze. Yeah, Tifa was into shots. Cloud waded away from the flowery puddle, annoyed with the fact that his favorite outfit was submerged for almost an hour – yeah, the last scene took that many cuts, thanks very much, stupid hyperactive brats. And, oh yeah, all the children were dispersed.

Thank Bahamut it's all over!

But haven't we left one character out?

The dead-flower-girl-slash-last-Cetra character, Aeris Gainsborough, was in the dressing room, gazing at her reflection. She thought: stupid dresses like these make me feel like an old maid! And what's with the funny hairdo, anyway? Geez… does the director really think that tying my hair like that would make me look sweet? Gawd. Chocobo Head was bad enough.

Sweetness. It all began with sweetness.

And this was how it all began.

Two years before was the release of Final Fantasy VII. But a year before even that, there was a flower girl. In Midgar. Selling flowers. But, to be honest, the flower girl wasn't really planning to sell flowers forever. She wasn't really into gardening, even. Did she come all the way from Kalm just to sell flowers? Don't think so. She wanted to be a star. But… things weren't so easy in the Big City. So she had to forget her childhood dreams, get a grip, and earn a living by doing the one thing she really knows to do: selling flowers. Tough life.

And so there she was, selling flowers (she really hated it, that's why we have to emphasize this job by repetition) when a tall man with long hair and crisp navy blue suit (oh yeah, he had a dot on his forehead, too) came by to buy a rose. "You're pretty," he said, paying 1 gil (ONE gil?!?! How low!) for the flower. She replied, beautiful flowers don't come across Midgar every now and then, you know. "Yes. Very pretty." He nodded. "Say, you want to be a star?"

A star!

Shinra Inc. Presents…

A FLOWER GIRL?!?!?

Yes. Your name will be Aeris. Aeris Gainsborough. Nice name, huh? Anyway. So you're this flower girl roaming around Midgar – and don't keep that hair; looks… well, too vivacious. Then Cloud – say hello to Cloud there, he's such a character – comes by and buy flowers…

And so filming began. Her hair was tied into a funny… thing. She was given a poor excuse of an outfit. She got herself a battered old church as a garden. And if those weren't ridiculous enough, she was supposed to beat bad guys (she had signed immediately upon learning that they were doing an adventure story… perhaps she shouldn't had been so hasty) with a staff. What kind of moron would try to beat people with a staff? Not a really bright idea, yeah? No gun, they told her. You'd have to be sweet, not sassy. Sweet. Sweet.

Oh, and she had to be a flirt… well, sort of. Well, come on, she had to say things like I'll give you a date if you become my bodyguard… or something like that. She also had to be stuck into tubes like some sort of sci-fi experiment. She had to befriend a talking furry red dog whose tail is on fire. His name is Red XIII. She had to be in a bizarre love triangle with Zack-Cloud-Tifa. No, not with Tifa. Ewww. Tifa was this girl in love with Cloud. (Tifa became her best friend on the set, actually.) Zack was her original boy toy, but he got himself killed. Boohoo. So sad.

And then she had to die, too. Oh, nice stick cutting from her back. Gee. What's the point of her almighty Limit Break?

What's the point of her appearance?

Oh yeah… Final Fantasy VII is brought to you by Shinra, Inc. Minus the Mako.

Advent Wha-?

Yeah, she earned a lot of gil. She bought herself a nice casa in Costa del Sol, got a lifetime pass into Gold Saucer… but she didn't want to be a rich star for dying, for crying out loud! And worse, people were saying the dumbest things: Oh, Aeris, that's so sad, Sephiroth killed you. Oh, it was personal when we saw you snuff it, I swear. Oh, what about poor Cloud? (Chocobo Head? She couldn't wait to get away from his ego, really.) Don't you want to get revived? (Sure wish it, duh.) So she got her hopes high when the producers decided to make a movie sequel.

Advent Wha-?

Adventure. No more Meteor, but… Whoa. Guns. Gunblades. Giant swords. Swish. Action. And this Geostigma thing…? It sells.

But guess what. She was mostly a voice, sometimes a faceless entity. And she was still dead. Yep, until the end. And that's where her face shows up. And yuck. All the sweet lines that mean nothing. So much for Tseng (so that's his screen name!) saying she's pretty.

Geez. You think I'm gonna do this thing again? She told her reflection.

Unbearable.

After the Ending

Yes, Cloud. You can take your props. Same goes for everyone else. Any more questions? That's a wrap.

Thank Bahamut!

She decided to catch up with Tifa; lucky her, at least she got to kick serious Sephiroth-clone butt.

She entered the bar. It was strangely cool – cold even – inside. But then, you get that with high-class bars. Seated to the far right corner, drinking deeply, were the Shinra Turks. Yeah. They were just made into one big comic relief in Advent Whatsisname. Cid was on the counter (on – he was reclining on it!) hitting on the curvy barista. Zack, her supposed ex-boyfriend, was dozing off. And there's her friend, Tifa.

"Hi! Hic! What a movie, huh?"

The flower-girl-turned-dead-character-turned-sweet-star laughed in spite of herself. She bought herself a glass of Mako Cocktail. Yeah. What a movie.

Too bad I didn't get a good role.

"Hic! Bad?" Tifa raised her eyebrows. "What about – hic! – Reeve? Voicing a – hic! – stupid cat? Now that's – hic! – bad!"

More laughter.

At least he had something to say. Elena didn't even have a speaking part!

"She – hic! – had, remember? In the – hic! – beginning."

Oh yeah. But –

"Miss Aeris?"

She swung around, her brunette hair (thank goodness it's free at last!) swaying as she threw a cold green stare at the speaker. A fanboy, huh? No autographs, if that's what you think, the flower girl said to herself.

"I think you were the best Final Fantasy VII character ever, Miss Aeris. Such beauty! Such aura! Such melancholy! Such sweetness –!"

WHAPACK! A heavy staff swung hard across the air and landed full on the fanboy's stomach, knocking all the wind out of him. Literally… well, almost.

The flower girl called Aeris grinned. As in really grinned, without the touch of fake sweetness she had to put while on the camera.

Okay… maybe trying to beat people up with a staff isn't such a stupid idea after all.