Muffet closed the oven door and set the timer with a smile. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a huge, tremendously fat purple cigar, which was made of spiders and webbing, and popped it into her mouth. She walked over to Frisk, accidentally squishing several spiders in the process, and asked "Would you mind providing me a light, sweetie?"
Frisk nodded and reached into their pocket, pulling out a and old fashioned lighter and flicking the wheel. They brought the flame to the tip of Muffet's spider stogie and watched as it lit up and glowed purple, reflecting off of Muffet's five eyes.
Muffet grinned and puffed a cloud of purple smoke before saying "Thanks, dear. Dinner will be spider pizza. It'll just be a few minutes."
Frisk nodded and slipped the lighter back into their pocket before walking over to an ornate dinner table and sitting down.
Frisk watched as a few tiny spiders crawled around on the dinner table and the smell of Muffet's cigar smoke filled the air. It was oddly pleasant, sort of like the smell of a dusty library or an old bakery.
Muffet blew a few smokey shapes of spiders and cobwebs as she got to work setting the table, made easier with her having six arms. Frisk watched as Muffet swiftly set a plate for the both of them, set down a glass for both of them, and filled each glass with a clear purple liquid before dropping ice cubes into Frisk's.
Frisk took a sip of the spider cider, which tasted surprisingly pleasant given its ingredients, and looked around the room as they waited for dinner. The room was mostly purple and black, much like most things related to Muffet. Webs were pretty much everywhere, with tiny spiders crawling around in them. The house was completely filled with these tiny spiders, numbering in the thousands if not millions. Frisk had wondered for a while if the spiders were directly related to Muffet, and assuming that's the case, whether the young spider woman would be a mother to them, or more like a sister to them, or something else. If Muffet was the mother to all these spiders, would that make them all Frisk's step-siblings, or something to that effect?
Frisk's train of thought was cut short by Muffet setting down three large, violet slices of pizza on the plate in front of them.
"Eat up, dear." said Muffet with a smile, before removing the cigar from her mouth and setting it in a nearby ashtray. She sat down and began eating her own pizza slices.
Frisk nodded and started eating. The spider pizza tasted more or less like a pepperoni pizza, which is a little odd considering that the pepperoni, cheese, sauce, and dough were all made of spiders. Frisk decided it was probably best not to think about it too much. Muffet was a pretty good baker, she probably knew how it worked.
Muffet finished eating quite quickly, like she usually did, and quickly drank the entire glass of spider cider. She popped her huge cigar back into her mouth and took a drag as she waited for Frisk to finish eating. A few tiny spiders crawled a long her cigar, a few getting burned to ash by the glowing tip.
As Frisk finished the spider pizza, Muffet asked "So, did you like it dear?"
Frisk nodded and smiled.
Muffet let out a giggle before saying "Yes, I enjoyed it as well." She patted her stomach and said "But I feel I'm still hungry. Perhaps I should gobble you up as well."
Frisk smiled and let out a slight laugh.
Muffet stood up and began clearing the table. "Bedtime's at eleven, sweetie. We'll be going to the park tomorrow."
Frisk nodded and stood up before leaving the kitchen. As they walked around the big fancy house, almost but not quite big enough the be a manor, they had some time to think. It had been a few months so far of living with Muffet, and it was rather enjoyable, after getting used to the purple-and-black colour scheme of everything Muffet owned. Frisk could think of a lot of things they liked about Muffet, from the tiny spiders always ready to assist her, to the tremendous cigar almost always in her mouth, to her skills in baking, to her sense of humor. Frisk had come to regard Muffet as a mother of sorts since they started living with each other, and from the way she had treated them, Muffet regarded Frisk as her child.
As Frisk opened their bedroom door and stepped inside their small, but well-cleaned and toy filled room, they sat down on their bed and thought back to the various times Muffet playfully threatened to eat them, or tie them up in webs, or them to her pet, or something else along those lines. Frisk always knew that she wouldn't do those things, at least not in a permanent fashion, and they usually found it funny, albeit in a nervous and sort of embarrassing way.
Though they had been alright with Muffet's teasing, Frisk had always wanted to find a way to tease her back, perhaps with a prank. Perhaps they could trick her with something.
Frisk read a book as they tried to think of something. After reading an old joke book, they got an idea. Opening their closet door, they found a small collection of fireworks they had collected.
Frisk dug through the collection looking for a firework that would do the job. Cherry bombs weren't powerful enough, roman candles and bottle rockets weren't the right shape, and they weren't even sure if sparklers counted as fireworks.
Eventually, they found a smell black ball with a fuse sticking out. It didn't have a label, but Frisk had remember that this firework was known as The Big Bang. This firework would surely do the trick.
Then came the next phase of the plan. Frisk quietly sneaked across the house, only stepping on a few spiders by accident. They made their way to a small close next to the basement door and found a few arts and crafts supplies. Taking some purple paint and pipe cleaners, Frisk spent a few minutes trying to make it so that the firework resembled a spider, at least at a glance. After they made it look convincing enough to be a spider, they set it down in a nearby web and smiled slightly to themself.
A few hours later, Muffet tucked them into bed and told them a quick bedtime story. As she talked, the smoke from her cigar formed images of the story, which Frisk always found neat. They went to bed, grinning with anticipation.
When Frisk awoke, they quickly got up and checked the web they left the fake spider in. It was empty. Frisk let out a giggle quite similar to Muffet's as they walked into the living room.
Muffet was sitting on an elegant purple sofa in the living room, surrounded by countless tiny spiders. Sitting right next to her was the giant cupcake monster known as Mr. Tuffet 12. (Frisk wasn't quite sure what happened to Mr. Tuffets 1 through 8, but given what happened to Mr. Tuffet 9, 10, and 11, they had a pretty good idea.) Dangling from Muffet's mouth was another huge purple spider stogie, currently unlit. Frisk smiled knowingly at the massive cigar.
"Good morning, sweetie!" said Muffet with a grin. "Could you give me a light?"
Frisk tried to hold back from snickering as they pretended to search through their pocket before shrugging.
"That's fine dear, I'll do it myself." giggled Muffet, pulling out a match and striking it before bringing it to the tip of her cigar. As the tip of her cigar lit up, Muffet tossed the match behind her, where it landed in Mr. Tuffet's mouth and was promptly swallowed.
As Muffet took a long drag on her cigar, Frisk nonchalantly left the room and hid behind a dresser, plugging their ears and snickering.
After a few seconds of silence, a deafening "BOOM!" filled the air and the entire house lit up. After the explosion had died down, Frisk casually walked back into the living room.
Sitting their with a shocked expression was Muffet, covered from head to toe in soot and ash. The ribbons holding her hair in pigtails had been blown off, and her long black hair was standing on end. Her cigar was little more than a smouldering stub in her mouth.
Around her, the sofa was badly burned, and the room was covered in soot. There was tiny scorch marks where all the spiders were, and all that was left of Mr. Tuffet was a bunch of cupcake bits all over the ceiling and walls.
Frisk could no longer hold back their laughter as they began giggling loudly. After a few moments of stunned silence, Muffet started laughing uproariously as well.
"That was a very good prank." said Muffet. "I couldn't have done it better myself!"
Muffet picked Frisk up with two of her arms and gave them a kiss on the cheek, leaving a lip-shaped soot mark.
Frisk smiled widely as Muffet set them down.
"Of course." said Muffet, still smiling. With a giggle, she said "To get back at you, I might have to actually eat you this time. Plus, you owe me a new cigar and you'll be helping me make Mr. Tuffet 13."
Frisk smiled and nodded as they began helping Muffet clean the room.