"I just want him to come back, but i'm afraid he's gone forever," Beca gushed to the red head.
"There's plenty of fish in the sea, Beca," she replied hoping to help her mourning friend.
"But he was a rare, special fish to me," she squeaked out, wiping some stray tears from her eyes. Chloe giggled at the brunette. Beca gave her the look.
"Sorry. It's just that we're referring to him as a fish. I swear I wasn't laughing at you," she promised.
"I just want to know the real reason he left so I can fix it, Chlo," she cried.
"I told you it's not your fault. It's his. He got over whelmed and realized that maybe he didn't want this. Kinda like how I didn't wanna date that Colton dude in college. I thought I wanted a boyfriend, but I didnt't. That's probably how he felt. He really happy then he realized he just wanted to be alone for a while. He'll come back. He always does," she reassured her friend.
"Then why did he say, "I love you so much. I never want to live without you," just a few days ago?" She retorted.
"I don't know, Beca. He's a boy."
"He promised we were okay," she sobbed. "I want him to miss me, if anything, because I want him to feel how I'm feeling."
"Boys don't feel the same way we do. I don't know why but they don't. Do you wanna build a snowman?" Chloe asked trying to cheer her friend up.
"No. I wanna cry."
"But I wanna build a snowman wif you," Chloe tried again, but Beca only began to cry more. "I'm sorry, babe."
A few moments of silence passed between the two. Chloe heard her daughter, Emma, crying and dismissed herself from the room to grab the baby. When she came back she had the eight month old in her arms.
"Beca, can I tell you that you are a fantastic actress?"
"Is that a joke?"
"No. I had no clue you weren't over him. I mean initially yes, I knew, but after a week I thought you were over it."
"Well now you know," she quipped.
"I'm sorry B. I know you are going through a rough spot. All these emotions. Are they because of your dad or Jesse or both?"
"Both. Dad promised to help me once we got here and now he's going back on that. Maybe Jesse left because of my dad. My dad made me broken and never liked Jesse."
"Beca, he liked your dad. Even if your dad didn't like him. Jesse's too friendly," Chloe assured her.
"I don't blame him. I would leave too."
"Beca don't say that. He's your dad and I know matter what you say you still love him."
"It's the same way with Jesse too," she cried.
"What can I do to make it better?" The ginger demanded.
"Nothing," Beca stated lamely.
"Then what can you do to make it better for yourself?"
"I don't know. I just want him back," she declared.
He feels like such a fucking idiot. He doesn't know why he said or did the things he had. He had watched his entire world walk out the door of their apartment. That was a week ago. He hadn't left his their bed. He simply just stared at the picture in his hand. It was a picture of Beca a few months back holding their goddaughter. He could remember the moment as he looked at her beautiful face. She looked at Emma with so much adoration, like she wanted her own kid. Recalling this moment and imagining he could have his own little kids, well their kids, running around made him begin to cry again.
A month had passed. Both of then were still upset over the breakup. Beca finally dried her eyes. She woke up one day and realized he wasn't worth the pain. She hastily packed up her stuff from the apartment, and decided to start over somewhere new. She had found an apartment on the opposite side of L.A. from Jesse's apartment. She hoped she wouldn't have to bump into him anytime soon. She plopped down on her couch, exhausted from work. She looked down at her phone to see a text from Chloe.
To: Badass Beca
From: Ginger (Chlo)
Are you still up to watching Emma tonight?
To: Ginger (Chlo)
From: Badass Beca
Sure. I have nothing better to do.
Sighing and getting up from her comfortable spot on the couch, she stood up and began preparing for little Emma to come over.
"Shit!" She exclaims loudly when she realizes that she left the pack n play at Jesse's apartment from the last time she babysat. She continued to put up baby gates and get the box of toys from the top of her closet. When chloe knocked on the door, Beca flung it open to reveal her baby proofing job.
"Wow Emma. Look what Aunt Beca did for you!" The nine month old clapped her chubby hands. Beca unbuckled the baby from her pumpkin seat carrier.
"Hey Em! We're going to have fun tonight while mommy and daddy go on a date right?" Chloe laughed at the two.
"Do you need the base of her seat for anything?" Chloe asked.
"Um yeah actually I have to go over to Jesse's." The ginger stood there and openly gawked at the shorter brunette.
"OMG!" She squealed. "You guys got back together?!"
"No, Chloe. I left the pack n play at his apartment from the last time I watched Emma over there. It's not a big deal."
"Yes it is. So I'll just leave the base right here with a box of condoms. Just make sure Emma's sleeping first. Wouldn't want her scarred for life, listening to you two fuck like rabbits."
"Ugh," she groaned.
"Save that for Jesse, Beca," Chloe said before leaving the apartment. Beca looked at the baby in her arms.
"Emma, your mommy is crazy."
After coaxing Emma to eat some of her baby food that, in Beca's opinion, looked like throw up, Beca could tell the little girl was utterly exhausted. She became fussy and didn't want anything to do with anything or anybody. Including Beca. Man, this is always the mood I'm in Beca thought.
Beca had to carefully remove the frilly outfit from Emma's wriggling body. Why did Chloe have to dress her in such cute, hard to get off clothes? It might have been even harder to get her second foot in the sleeper Chloe had left, for Beca had put the wrong foot in first. Kids were definitely not her forte. Plopping a pacifier in Emma's mouth, Beca strapped her into her carseat.
Skillfully holding both Emma and the base of the seat, Beca made her way to her car. She quickly installed the base and clicked the seat onto it. Emma made a quiet noise as the car started moving. Beca knew she would probably be asleep when she got to Jesse's.
The familiar drive to Jesse's apartment didn't take near as long as Beca remembered. All to quickly she found herself undoing her seat belt and sliding out of her silver Toyota Corolla, a graduation gift from her father. When she walked around the car to get Emma, it took her a second to get the seat off of the base. When it finally popped off, Beca lugged the carseat containing Emma up the three flights of stairs to the apartment.
She looked at the sleeping baby's somber features, almost wishing she had a child of her own. She raised her hand to lightly knock on the door, careful not to wake her god daughter. Jesse answered the door, shirtless with loose fitting grey sweatpants hanging off of his hips. Beca had to remind herself not to drool.
"Beca?" He asked confused.
"Um hi, Jess," she greeted.
"What are you doing here? Not that I don't love to see you but," he stammered.
"No I understand, Jess," she cut him off. "I'm watching Emma tonight," she gestured to the car seat next to her feet,"and her collapsable crib is here."
"Oh. Okay. Let me go find it, but please come in. It's far to cold or you and Emma to be outside," he stated as he reached down to grab the handle at the same time as Beca. Not only did they bump hands, they bumped foreheads. Beca grasped her head in pain.
"Ow jesus fuck!" She exclaimed loudly. Little Emma's eyes flew open as she let out a ear piercing wail. Jesse had already grabbed the car seat and carried Emma inside as Beca followed, holding her head. She walked over to the baby and undid her five point harness.
Emma grasped onto Beca's shoulder like it was life and death. Her baby blue eyes filled with tears and her mouth letting out implacable cries. Beca slowly shifted her weight from foot to foot in an attempt to calm her down. She then went to bouncing and when that didn't work, she went to the last resort. Singing. Beca gently sang the lyrics to Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars to the tired and frightened baby. Emma quit her fussing to listen to Beca sing softly.
Jesse walked up behind Beca and reached his had across her chest to place a binki in Emma's tiny mouth. He then wrapped his arms around his tiny love and began to gently sway with her. He felt her tense up a little bit, but she soon relaxed back against him. He rested his chin on her shoulder and she laid her head against his.
"I missed your beautiful self," Jesse whispered in her ear. Beca continued to sing to the droopy eyed baby girl, not responding to Jesse's remark. She finished the song and continued to hold the now sleeping baby in her arms. "Beca, can we talk?" Jesse asked calmly.
"What do we have to talk about, Jesse?" She asked, clearly getting upset.
"Us. Why we're not together. How much I still want you. How I want this," he gestures to her holding Emma.
"How do I know you're not going to drop me like yesterday's trash again?" She asked him, tears in her baby blue eyes.
"Oh, Beca," he sighed out, wiping the tear that ran down her cheek. "You're not trash. You never were and you're never going to be. I love you and I was a big fucking idiot to break up with you. I love you so much, baby," he confessed, caressing her face.
Beca sniffled and turned to rest her head in the crook of Jesse's neck, squishing Emma between them. When Jesse moved even closer to give Beca a passionate kiss, Emma let out a distressed squeak. Beca giggled and pulled away.
"Before we let this go any further, I think I should go lay Emma down. Chloe would murder me if we did anything indecent while I was holding her baby," Beca told him.
"Let me help you," he responded, walking and grabbing the portable crib out of the closet in the hall. He pulled it out of the bag and set it up on the wall of his bedroom. He set the pad covered in pink and purple butterflies on the bottom to cushion the baby. Beca laid the baby down on the bed, swaddling her in a green and white polka dotted blanket before laying her down in the crib. Emma let out a cry before Beca readjusted the pacifier in her mouth. She began sucking on it frantically and she fell back asleep after a minute.
Beca walked back into Jesse's arms and wrapped her arms securely around his waist. He placed a loving kiss in her hair before lifting her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. She raised up on her tippy toes to initiate a passionate kiss. He captured her lips eagerly, hoping to show her just how much he missed her.
Beca, on the other hand, wanted Jesse to pay for making her sad. She pulled back from the kiss with a devilish grin on her face. She moved to a squat, keeping the smirk plastered on her face. Jesse looked at the small brunette in astonishment. She met his gaze before yanking his sweatpants off of his hips.
"Beca," Jesse warned.
"Hmm," she hummed, looking up at him, eyes full of lust. She ran her hand over his hardening length through his underwear. He moaned as she move her hand faster to bring him to full attention.
Jesse reached for the buttons on Beca's plaid button down, only to have his hands slapped away.
"You hurt me," she growled. "You don't get to touch until I give you your punishment."
Beca stood up and pushed him back onto the bed by his shoulders. She began to slowly unbutton her shirt, stepping over one of his legs to straddle it. She kept undoing the buttons until the shirt was all the way undone, now just hanging off her shoulders. He practically drooled over her chest. Damn she had a fantastic rack.
She rolled her hips against his, his little friend very eager and happy to see her again. She leaned in close to his ear, nipping at the sensitive spot below it. He let out a moan.
"Beca, please," he begged.
"You've been a bad boy, Mr. Swanson," she said huskily in his ear. She pressed into him even further, and he let out a deep breath.
"Fuck, Becs," he complimented. She captured his lips once again. He raised his hands to caress her waist and she did not fight it. "Giving up easy, baby?" He teased.
"Shut up, asshole," she said, pressing her lips back to his with bruising pressure. He slowly rose of the bed and pushed her against the wall with a thump. He reached behind her to undo the clasp of her black lace bra.
Once her breasts were free, Jesse began his assault on them. He nipped, pinched, and sucked like his life depended on it. He reached for the buttons on Beca's jeans, but once again his hand was slapped away. Beca instead pushed his boxers down his hips. She did not appreciate being pinned to the wall, so she flipped positions with Jesse. She pushed him to the wall with an even louder thud than when she was pinned.
Beca trailed kisses all down his chest. When she got to his happy trail she opted for licking, licking all the way down the thin line of hair. She then decided to be bold and go for it. She took him in her mouth, using her tongue to trace around the tip.
"Jesus fuck," he groaned. She continued to bob up and down his length, using her tongue to tease his sensitive underside, one hand massaging his balls and the other wrapped securely around his base.
It went on like this for a few minutes, his moans and pants filling the room. Right as he felt the familiar feeling deep in his stomach an unfamiliar sound startled both of them.
Beca pulled back and looked to the crib across the room. Little Emma's face was beginning to turn red from screaming. Beca's face began to turn red too, but for a different reason. Before picking up the little girl, she slid on her shirt and buttoned it back up, thankful she kept her pants on.
Jesse followed suit and began getting dressed also. He watched as Beca picked up the baby, her hair slightly disheveled. He thought about how sexy she looked, but then realized that would only make him more uncomfortable than he already is. He grew slightly confused as Beca walked towards him with the baby.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Looks like you're on diaper duty, lover boy."