Summary: SEQUAL TO VALENTINE'S DAY AND SECOND SEQUAL TO THE HAWAIIAN TOURNAMENT AND THIRD SEQUEL TO YEAH, HOLLYWOOD! Ash and da gang have been battling their butts off and have won an all expenses paid vacation to Las Vegas!!! Note: It is highly recommended that readers read (and review!) The Hawaiian Tournament and Valentine's Day and YEAH, HOLLYWOOD! before reading this story!
A/N: My inspiration has been revived. )
Disclaimer: I don't own squat. It's all you, baby!
Rating: K+
What Happens In Vegas...
By The Devizzal
"And it's not like you ever had a chance with him in the first place, you son-"
"I'M A GIRL!!!!!!"
They began to pound eachother into poi when he split them up. "Ladies, ladies! There's enough of me to go around!"
"OH! MY! GOD!!!! We are SOOOOOOO not talking about YOU!!!!!!" They both clenched their fists and delivered unto him a punch worthy of being the deciding blow of a championship boxing match.
Ash just stood there, stunned. "Brock, remind me again how all this happened? My memory's a little fuzzy from all that creamed corn and bread pudding..."
"Well," Brock replied. "It all began back when . . ."
And on that note, I, the one and only Narrator (new album coming out Tuesday, featuring my smash hit single 'U Ain't Gots Nuthin Awn M3' and with a Wal-Mart exclusive bonus track! Available on iTunes Monday!) will be taking over the story!
"YES!" Ash threw his hands into the air and smiled so brightly that Max went blind. "I can't believe I FINALLY beat you, Gary!"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. You just got lucky."
"Noperz! I beat you good! Like a red-headed step child! OH! In your face! In your face!!!"
Misty was looking annoyed. "Ash is getting a tad conceited lately. I think he needs a good slapping." May gave her a nudge nudge and said "I was just thinking the same thing! Do you want pepperoni on yours or olives?" Misty looked at her very seriously. "...I am...so sorry May... About whatever it is that happened..." May looked confused. "What are you talking about? Nothing ever happened to me..." "Sure it didn't, honey... Sure it didn't." Misty gave her a comforting pat on the back and shook her head in a 'thats-just-so-sad-she-doesnt-even-know-shes-an-idiot' kind of way.
"Ya know," Gary said, "I don't even know WHY I ever signed up for this stupid competition anyway. The rules freaking suck."
"Oh you're just jealous because MY pokémon can actually juggle and yours CAN'T! HAHA!" Ash danced.
"Congratulations Ash!" The blue-haired announcer dude cut in. "You and your friends have won an all expenses paid trip to VEGAS!!! Here are your passports, your plane tickets, and your fake IDs! And as for you Gary... well, let's just hope that you look good in an apron :) ."
"YEAH, VEGAS!"
"I can't wait to go to Cincinnati!"
"...That's 'Sin City', May!!!!! Ugh!"
The gang was all on the plane in first class -- FIRST CLASS!!!!! when Max began to speak:
"Ya know... I'm beginning to get rather suspicious of our recent adventures all involving going to the United States..."
"Hey Max, why don't you go out and play?"
"You guys are really starting to peace me off!!!!" He yelled. "I deserve just as much respect as the next guy!"
The gang all looked at him. "...We didn't say anything... that was the rest of the plane."
"Really?"
"Yup. Don't you see, Max? NOBODY likes you:) "
"Oh... well, as long as it wasn't you."
Then, several passengers (4 of which there is no legal way of proving were Ash, May, Misty, and Brock) picked Max up and threw him out the window. They watched him fall and fall and fall and fall and narrowly miss somebody's backyard pool upon landing. May snapped and had to give Misty $5.
They arrived in Las Vegas and began arguing over which hotel to stay in.
"I wanna stay at Paris!"
"I wanna stay at New York!"
"I wanna stay in Las Vegas!" (three guesses who said that)
Finally, they flipped Tracy to decide. He fell flat on his face.
"HA!" Ash pointed in Misty's face. "We get to stay at Treasure Island! Na-na-na-na-na-na!"
"Ash, you are getting WAY-hey-hey too conceited. You just got lucky with that flip... two out of three?"
"I'm good with Treasure Island..." Tracy pointed out.
"YEAH, TREASURE ISLAND!"
They checked in to the hotel and May began to spontaniously bawl.
"What the heck is it THIS time, May???" Ash asked.
"It's just... sniff... I'm remembering how Patent dumped me for that tight-shorts-wearing... bare-midrifted... floozy!"
"I SAID I WAS SORRY!!!" Misty rolled her eyes.
"Yeah May..." Ash said "Misty said she was-- WHAT!?!?!? You're cheating on me????"
"Hey, he's cute! And besides, doughnuts come SECOND for HIM!!!! Unlike somebody in this hotel..."
May slapped Misty right across the face and screamed "WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ME!!! I'm the vulnerable one here! Obviously, I was far too loving for him to handle... No wonder he went for you and your cold heart of stone."
"Oh, please. 'Loving'?!?! He told me he left you because you weren't girly enough for him!" She looked her up and down. "...And I don't blame him. I mean, just LOOK at your legs in comparrison to mine! Talk about a dull shaver..."
"Y...you're supposed to... to shave them???"
Ash backed away from her slowly. "Um... yeah, May. But at least you shave your pits, right?"
"..."
They all silently went to their room and made May sleep in the lobby.
"Wow! That was just SUCH a cool show!" Ash and Brock said of the pirate show outside the hotel. They were watching from their room window. "I mean, did you SEE all those sirens???"
Misty slapped Ash and told him to be more respectful to women. "Oh, and since when do you care about who I'm looking at, Misty? I thought you and your beau were happy together." "Well... we were. I actually just broke up with him over the phone (She used Max's cell phone so the roaming charges would kill him). He was getting too clingy for me."
"...So you mean he dumped you?"
"...Yup."
"Oh... Misty you must be an emotional WRECK!!! Ugh you have got to be just so vulnerable and weak... I can't imagine how desperate you must feel to get back into a relationship just to stuff it into Pat's face... wow... Oh well!" Misty fell upside down from Ash's stupidity. "I am... surrounded by mental cases... You know, Ash, there's a guy in this ROOM who I wouldn't mind dating... again..."
"Why Misty!... When did you ever date Brock???"
Misty started crying. She simply couldn't handle his lack of brains.
"Well I would have never left him in the first place, had I ever dated him." May said. "The 'guy' of which you speak."
"May, Ash would NEVER... like never-ever-ever-ever-EVER go out with you... You're too much of a boy!"
"Take that back!" May tackled Misty. "At least I lasted longer with Patent than you lasted with Ash!!!"
"You and Patent never even were an item! He was just using you to get to me!"
"GIVE ME A BREAK!!!! And I'm not a girl, I'm a boy!! I MEAN I'm not a boy, I'm a girl!!!!"
The next day, they went to gamble in a casino. They had a bucket filled with Max's life savings in quarters that they shared. First they went to the slots.
"YES!!!! All cherries!" Ash yelled as he pocketed his winnings. Misty was getting really angry at this point:
"Ash! Stop acting so full of yourself! YOU GOT LUCKY!!!"
"You know, Misty, I'm beginning to think that you're... jealous!"
"WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!??!?!"
"Yup! You're jealous that I'm sooooo talented at everything and YOU can't even hold on to one ugly boyfriend for longer than a few days!"
"Hey, okay, I cheated on you!"
"Not ME! I'm talking about Patent! ... and I am not ugly!!!"
"That's debatable." Brock whispered.
"NOBODY ASKED YOU!!!"
"Brock..." Max tugged on his sleeve. "Will you take me over to the gaming tables? I wanna play Crapps."
-Oh, the potential that comes with him saying that-
"You're GONNA play with crap in a second if you don't leave me alone!"
"So, okay" Misty pulled the reader back into her conversation, "Ash, you're saying that I'm... jealous?!?! SCOFF! PSHAW! We'll just see who's jealous!" She looked around and grabbed the first man she found. I am now OFFICIALLY!!!!!! dating this guy!" ("...Hi guys." David said.)
"Oh, yeah?" Ash grabbed the first woman he found and said "Well, I am now officially dating this girl!!!"
"Humph!" They turned from eachother and walked away, leaving the rest of the gang by themselves.
"...YEAH, 'HUMPH'!"
Max tugged on Brock's sleave. "Now?"
The next day they went to a show. They wanted to see Cirque Du Soleil, but Max screwed up the directions and they ended up going to a drag show somewhere on the Vegas Strip. Misty took her new boyfriend, Iksabar, with her. Ash couldn't find his new girlfriend though, so he just went alone... with everyone.
The show was really bad. Everyone was bored out of their minds. Max and Tracy began playing video games and for no reason at all, Max just spontaneously died (only because it's been so long since he last did). Misty noticed something.
"Hey, Ash. Isn't that your girlfriend up there on stage?"
"...OMG! It is!!! YUCK!!!!!!!"
The show ended and Misty's boyfriend left her for ash's "girlfriend". Everyone became totally depressed so they decided to go to an all-you-can-eat $.99 buffet to stuff themselves silly and drown their sorrows.
Ash was eating a ton of creamed corn and bread pudding (or so he thought) and Misty and May were TOTALLY piling on the... yellow...lumpy...stuff... (or was it green?). Well, whatever it was, they were filling their plates with it.
"Wow." Ash said. "You guys must be, like, distraught! Haha, what's your damage?"
"We're depressed... about our former love lives."
"Someone talking about me?"
They turned around and saw Patent standing behind them.
"What are you doing here?!?!?!?"
"...I could ask YOU the same thing!"
"I still love him!" May shouted at Misty out of nowhere.
"No you don't!" Misty screamed back at her.
"And it's not like you ever had a chance with him in the first place, you son-"
"I'M A GIRL!!!!!!"
They began to pound eachother into poi when he split them up. "Ladies, ladies! There's enough of me to go around!"
"OH! MY! GOD!!!! We are SOOOOOOO not talking about YOU!!!!!!" They both clenched their fists and delivered unto him a punch worthy of being the deciding blow of a championship boxing match.
Ash just stood there, stunned. "Brock, remind me again how all this happened? My memory's a little fuzzy from all that creamed corn and bread pudding..."
"Well," Brock replied. "It all began back when . . ."
"-Hang on... what?" He turned to Misty and May. "If you aren't talking about Patent, then who ARE you talking about?"
"Oh, Ash! You can be so stupid! We're talking about YOU!!!!!"
"Oh... ME!?!?!?"
May began beating the ever-loving crud out of Patent and Misty locked lips with Ash. "Will you take me back?" she asked. Ash thought for a moment. "And you're okay with me liking doughnuts better?"
"...I can live with it. -But only if you share!"
"Deal!"
"YES! I got Ash back!" She beamed.
"Psht. You just got lucky." Ash smiled and cream corn was stuck in between his teeth.
After Pat was taken to the ER, May got incredibly upset. "Great. Now, once again, Misty got Ash and I'm miserably single. :( "
All of a sudden her vision was averted to a TV which was showing a commercial for Wayne Newton. "oo, who's he?"
"Yikes."
Then Tracy said "I'm bored with Las Vegas."
and they all agreed with him (must've been the buffet food) and went home.
Meanwhile, Team Rocket, who if you weren't paying attention were the hosts of that stupid excuse for a competition in the beginning of the story, was making Gary clean their Meowth balloon.
"Man, this SUCKS!!!! With a capital SUCKS! What was the point in sending Ash and his crew to Vegas anyway??? I don't have anything you want! Make THEM clean your junk and send ME on a trip!"
"Don't be an idiot, jerk!" Jesse kicked him. "This plan makes SOOOOO much more sense! I mean think about it; we ALWAYS go after Pikachu and we NEVER get him. This way, we DON'T go after him and we're BOUND to get him! It's BRILLIANT!"
Then they randomly blasted off.
"YEAH, WAYNE NEWTON!!!"
THE end
A/N: lol, I'll admit, not my best one (Though probably the randomest one yet LOL). But hey, just be glad that I did another one:D