Hey! Guess what? I'm not dead! Whoo!

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Naruto? Or Tabasco? Or A-1? No. No I don't. There ya go, lawyers.

The general plot is by my best friend, Amy-chan (Amaya Sakaruta), and me. Rainy-chan. But this half of the story is mine. Yeah.

Ah, a bright, clear, cool dawn in Konoha. Gaara smiled… kinda…. at the silence as he poured a cup of steaming hot coffee-

-and dropped it on his foot as the kitchen smoke alarm -Youth Gone Wild by Skid Row- resounded through the building. Not because he was startled. Of course not. But back to the story.

"Suh-weet tofu sushi, that HURT!" screamed Rainy from the kitchen, where she and Naruto had been attempting to make… pancakes.

"What." intoned Gaara, looking disinterestedly at the wall where the TV had been, (until Rainy decided to practice her aim and couldn't find anything to hang the target on, much to Gaara's dismay. Darn her aim).

"I dropped a butcher knife on my knee, cuz the baka forgot to put the strawberry jelly in the pancakes, and so he put in more taco meat to compensate, while I was cutting up the onions, but if he put in more taco meat I won't need all these onions, and I told him, and he ignored me and tried to flip a pancake, but it was stuck to the refrigerator, permanently I guess, and then the spatula went flying and hit me in the eye, and it was covered in ramen seasoning, so it hurt, and then the jar of tomato sauce fell in, so there's waay more than a cup in there, so this baka put more sake in, and the sake lit on fire too soon, and the smoke alarm went off before I expected, but Naruto went and got the garden hose to put out the fire like in the recipe, but he lost control of the water, and it hit my hand and made me drop the knife!" she yelled, sounding irritated. "Oh, and Amy! There'll be extra pancakes!"

Amy glanced up, startled, from where she had been huddled, writing scarf perched madly atop her head, clutching a notebook and muttering something that sounded vaguely like "But… but… what about the secret escape tunnel? But….. But…. The fish! Can't forget the fish…" repeatedly. Looking up at Gaara, she whispered "what?"

Gaara grunted.

"Well, you're useful." said Amy dryly, standing up and ambling over to the couch. "Aarg. I wish Rainy hadn't used the TV screen for a target… Phineas and Ferb should be on right now."

Gaara grunted.

Amy began whistling tunelessly and swinging her feet.

Gaara glanced over and…. Wait for it…. Grunted.

Amy suddenly screamed and fell off the couch.

Gaara grunted.

Amy climbed back up on the couch.

Gaara grunted.

Amy turned around and yelled "Hey Rainy! Breakfast ready yet?"

"Yeah, why?" said Rainy, sticking her head out from behind the bead curtain between the kitchen and the living room.

"…. Because I'm hungry…?"

"Oh. Here ya go." said Rainy, flinging a plate at Amy, who caught it with her EPIC-NINJA-SKILLZ!

Gaara grunted.

"Oh, here ya go." said Rainy, throwing Naruto out of the kitchen, where he landed on the back of the couch and grinned cheekily down at Gaara. "Hiyaa!" yelled the blonde.

"Pancakes." announced Gaara.

Rainy grinned and flung a plate at him, which he caught. She then leapt out of the kitchen as the dining-room table…. Showed up out of nowhere (People had quit asking where it lived when they weren't eating by now...) as they all dragged chairs around it and set their plates of pancakes on it. Rainy smiled and pulled a giant bottle of Tabasco out of the couch cushion, just as Amy pulled out her beloved A-1 from her giant messenger bag. The bottles plunked down on the table in unison, thus causing Naruto and Rainy to immediately get in a battle over the two sauces. Amy sighed and handed Rainy the Tabasco and Naruto the A-1. "Y'all switch when you're done. What, were you two absent the day they taught sharing in the academy?"

"Yes, actually! Why?" said Rainy blankly, obviously not getting it.

"They taught sharing at the academy?" asked Naruto, just as blankly.

Amy sighed. "Forget I asked…"

Naruto and Rainy glanced at each other and shrugged. "Okay!" said Rainy, dumping the A-1 Naruto had just handed her on the green, bubbling lump called a pancake and began wolfing it down.

Sharing crisis averted, Amy looked down at her pancake. It looked back at her. She poked it with a fork, and it bubbled more violently. She glanced up at Gaara, who was quietly munching away, a determined set to his jaw.

"Umm, Rainy? What all is in this?" Amy asked.

"Erm, let's see… a pound of taco meat, fourteen packages of ramen seasoning, a jar of strawberry jelly, twelve onions, two pounds of sugar, three sticks of butter, a jar of tomato sauce, a little bit of sake, however much water ended up in it from the hose, and about twenty boxes each of crushed strawberry and chocolate pocky. Why?" said the self-proclaimed Chef of Konoha.

"Why is it green?" the brunette asked warily.

Rainy stopped and stared down at her creation. "I….. don't….. know…." she stated, looking disturbed. "Hey Naruto, why are they green?"

"Who knows?" stated the blonde, hardly fazed, as the other three silently pushed their plates in his direction. "Oooh! Extras! Thanks you guys!" he yelled enthusiastically.

Rainy looked at the other two. "Y'all wanna go out to eat?" she asked. They silently nodded as they stood up and pushed their chairs in, leaving the blonde to eat his way into a stupor.

~~~~~ 3 hours later…~~~~~

Rainy laughed as she unlocked the door. "Dude, Gaara, you gotta stay with Naruto more. That was fun! Y'all sure you gotta go back tomorrow?"

"We did take an extra day to visit everyone here. I don't like leaving Suna open for too long." stated Gaara.

Darn…" said Rainy and Amy simultaneously.

"Yeah." said Gaara.

"Well, I guess you'll be back, ne? You know, now that Shikamaru and tema- Holy, crud, Baka!" yelled Amy, running forward and crouching by him, followed by rainy, who ambled over and said, "We warned ya. Those pancakes… we need a new recipe."

Amy glared up at her and hissed, "Not helping." to which Rainy smirked.

Naruto groaned. "But, but, they were so good! But now my tummy hurts so bad…" said the blonde miserably.

Rainy sighed. "Well, I guess Gaara'll hafta haul you back to your apartment. Bye Gaara!" she said brightly.

"Yeah, see ya!" said Amy.

And thus… Gaara wondered why he bothered…

Meh. Not too good... but whatever! I like it!

R + R?