A/n: I do not own OTH.

She puts on a brave face for her friends, she even tries around Lucas, but they can all see through it, especially when she thinks about all of the simple things she might not be able to do. Things like filling out a baby book, or sharing a favorite song. She's making the video so that she can help her child through the tough times, and so that her child will have something to know his mother by. She won't let them see it, but she'll leave special instructions to ensure its viewed when the time is right. She won't even tell them she's made it, but she's pretty sure Luke caught a glimpse of her filming. He doesn't want to believe that the worst could happen, she's probably not helping with all her positivity around him, but she doesn't want him to think about it too much. Her own mind wanders into those thoughts enough for the both of them.

She wasn't just scared for the baby either, she was also scared for herself. And while Lucas was out with Jamie getting a part for the comet, she found herself sitting on the back porch swing sipping on a glass of sweet tea. She hated thinking that the last few months of her life had been spent looking at four walls, walls that she hadn't even decorated. That's why, when left alone, she found the time to sneak onto the back porch. It overlooked an empty field where the neighborhood children would go out to play football or tag. There was a short mountain range just behind the empty field in the horizon, full of beauty and colors in the fall weather and full of lush greens in the spring. And at this time of night the children played in the foreground, while the sun painted majestic colors into the sky.

She swayed with the swing, gently caressing her stomach where her baby was far from sleeping. She whispered the most beautiful words she could find to describe the scenes playing out before her. She could only imagine how much use the field beyond would be for the child when he or she reached the age where playing with the neighbors was a nightly occurrence.

She closed her eyes briefly, only to see Lucas with a worried look on his face, calling out for the child, after having snuck out after dark to play a game of spotlight in the field, where all the children hide in the night awaiting the lone child with the flashlight to find them in their darkened location.

She chuckled softly imagining that this would more than likely be a normal disobedience, because anyone with Sawyer blood couldn't just follow the rules. She hopes desperately that this would be a world where she could be beside Lucas when the child came skirting up the steps with a mischievous smile on their face.

"Sawyer, you know Luke would have a fit if he knew you weren't in bed." She turned to see the raven haired man coming out the back door.

"Shh, don't tell." She whispered patting the spot on the swing beside her.

He remained silent for a few moments, no doubt taking in the same scenes she was with the same awe. Sitting here with her on the swing, reminded him of something he hadn't thought of in years, but couldn't resist mentioning. "You know, I always imagined you'd have my kids. I'd be the best shooting guard in the NBA, we'd have an awesome house with the picket fence. Basically, we'd be my parents just more successful, and actually in love. But hey I was sixteen then and you were a cheerleader."

"Awe, Nate, you were such a romantic!" She patted his hand gently, and he could sense that her sixteen year old self had envisioned much of the same thing.

"Do you ever wonder what we'd be like together now; I mean if there was no Lucas or Haley? I think we might've stood a chance."

"No we wouldn't." she protested softly. She wanted to believe that he would be right, that maybe if they had taken a different path she could be in this position now and she wouldn't be fearing for her own life, or for her child's life without a mother. But she can't imagine a world without Lucas, it had nearly made her crazy over the last few years, and that makes her somehow closer to him now. Close enough to understand why he won't hear the what ifs, or the negativity.

"Why not, do you not see the extremely sexy man that I am?" the signature Scott smirk flashing in her direction.

"I see it, but it's not enough, you're still as hardheaded as you were when we were sixteen. You have to learn things the hard way before they sink in, and…"

"So what about you?"

"I like to think of myself as the first lesson you had to learn before becoming the amazing man you are today?" She wanted to tell him one last time that she thinks he's great and that she's proud of him, and he understands why she says it now. He wants to add his own words of encouragement.

"You're gonna make it through this Sawyer. You want to know why?"

"Why?" She put the brave face on for him, but the stray streams of water still managed to seep out. She knew her cover would never work on him, and it made her almost feel safe when he wrapped his arm tightly around her shoulder. She allowed her body to relax into his side. With Nathan, he didn't spend all of his energy fighting her just-in-cases, he could just understand and empathize. She couldn't fault Lucas for anything, she knew he was only reacting to his fear of a life without her. One that he couldn't imagine, nor wanted to imagine, living.

"You survived me, and you're gonna have to survive me for the next 60 years. I'm going to be one pain in the ass brother-in-law."

Yeah?" She wiped a tear.

"Yeah" he said placing a kiss on her temple.

"And what if I don't Nathan?" He could feel her tense beneath his warm hug, and his heart broke for what she must be going through.

But he had been around Peyton long enough to know what she needed to hear. "Then we'll be here for Luke and the baby and you can watch you child grow up with more love than he knows what to do with." That's all she really wanted to hear, to know that if she didn't survive, then the baby and Luke would be taken care of. She didn't need someone combating her just-in-cases, but rather someone who could ease the guilt that she would be leaving her baby motherless.

"Thanks, Nate." They watched as the sun finished its trail into the earth, both feeling the intensity of each others company, knowing this could be one of their last moments with a best friend.