I murdered this AU don't hate me.

The idea of a soulmate. It must seem delightful to those who have poetic, charming, kind or cute introductions marking their skin. How lovely it would be to wake up awaiting the day you meet your charismatic master of words. At least that's the case for most people, I'm stuck with a constant reminder that my soulmate is an intellectually deprived twit.

'Are you Satan beca- shit, I fucked up'

It's quite disappointing really to have to view that on my forearm on a daily basis. I happen to have a particular love for poetry and literature, so how my soul is bound to a romantically incompetent fool is beyond me. Well at least my expectations aren't set too high.

Sighing, I violently pulled down my jumper sleeve and put on an old trench coat for good measure, it was quite cold and although I would much rather spend the dreary day hiding beneath blankets, unfortunately, I have to endure a day of crowded high streets and ridiculously overpriced 'gifts'. Christmas shopping is just marvellous.

Today is the day. The day I will buy my annual bulk of Christmas themed sweaters. Fuck yeah!

Humming to myself I slipped into my jacket not missing the inky cussing settled onto my skin. I chuckled.

'Oh, for fucks sake'

It was kinda cute. When I was a kid my parents had a hard time trying to stop me from spitting out the 'f-word'. They got a lot of disgusted looks from other parents but hey, they couldn't help it.

Swinging open the door I braced myself for the miserable drizzle that fell from the sky.

It was just as hectic as I'd expected it do be. People shoving each other out of the way to get their hands on this and that. I was just about done.

It was a chore but I patiently waited in line for a good 20 minutes, convincing myself that the wait was worth it, that I wouldn't have to set foot in an other store for a while now.

Purchasing my last gift I crossed it off my list with joy, practically skipping out of the shop and towards the closest cafe. An audible chime sounded as I pushed open the door, breathing in the scent of walnuts and pine I placed my order and sat myself down in a rather comfortable chair.

Several bags in hand I searched for a place to take the weight off my feet. Spotting a cute little place I sped up, ramming myself the door and stumbling through a bell ringing as I lugged myself and all my bags through the entrance. A guy nearer the back gave me a funny look was he angry? Nah. Probably just curious or something.

As I got closer to him I took note of his features: Ash blonde hair, startling green eyes and a pair of very impressive eyebrows, despite that he was still pretty cute.

I plonked my stuff down on the table next to his and went to the counter to buy a gingerbread latte. Perfect for warming me up.

While I waited by the cash register for my drink I felt a surge of confidence wash through me. The dude was kinda adorable and I had just read up on a few awesome pick-up lines that seemed to have people swooning. I could totally do this.

Paying for my drink I went over to him stopping in front of his table, he didn't seem to notice me, to absorbed in the paper. I ran through the line in my head a couple of times before opening my mouth to speak.

"Are you Satan beca- shit, I fucked up."

I didn't have time to realise my mistake as all that followed was the poor guy almost choking on his drink, tea? I don't know. I was about to apologise but I was interrupted with a certain 4 words.

"Oh, for fucks sake"

"Are you Satan beca- shit, I fucked up"

Once the phrase registered the current sip of tea passing through my lips turned into a coughing fit. Not only had I gone and spilt tea all over my jumper but the oh so smooth line I'd been awaiting my entire life was released into the air fogged over heavily with what was, to me, a pretty miscellaneous American accent. An American. It made a little more sense. Without thinking I responded.

"Oh, for fucks sake"

Placing my drink back onto the table I looked up met with an utterly dumbfounded look. Eyes like saucers gleaming down at me.

"I suppose I better introduce myself I'm Arth- What the fuck!"

My sentence was cut short by a tackle. It was a pretty childish embrace, his arms wrapped directly around my torso, his head resting on my chest. Yet somehow I still managed to find it endearing.

"It's so great to finally meet you! I'm Alfred. You don't know how long I've waited to meet you"

I zoned out as he continued with his nonsensical ramblings a little caught up in what just happened. Thankfully my sense returned to me in a few short seconds.

"That's all well and good but I'd be delighted if you removed yourself." I bit sarcastically struggling to lift the man child off of me.

He jumped back up laughing nervously.

"Geez, I'm sorry it's just. Wow. You're really cute you know."

I felt a surge of blood rush to my face as I struggled with my response.

"You're not too bad yourself"

As soon as the words tumbled from my mouth I slapped my hands over my face. Shit.

He laughed and proceeded to write his number down onto a receipt. As I listened to that laugh wash over any anxiety I previously had I smiled. Maybe he wasn't all bad.