This is dedicated to all the Wedding Dress supporters especially, but also to all reviewers, people who've added my fics to their story alerts and who've added me to their list of author alerts. Thank you so very much for your support and I'm sorry to delay the next chapter of WD for so long. A lot of things I'd planned in Chapter 2 didn't work out so well, historically and other, so I have to work out the kinks, so to speak :P
Meanwhile, please enjoy this as my gratitude to all you wonderful people.
Before you continue, please play "The Lover After Me" by Savage Garden in the background or listen to it before you read it at least. My words cannot do the song enough justice. I miss Savage Garden sometimes, they were such a huge part of the music I listened to as a kid. I'd recommend "Two Beds and a Coffee Machine" too, stirs up very strong emotions (shameless marketing :D)
Too-long-didn't-read version: Thanks for reading and reviewing, listen to "The Lover After Me" by Savage Garden before/while reading :)
For some odd reason, I seem to put alternate endings in the summaries -_-
.
The sunlight streaming in through the window woke him. The old Gilbert would have jumped out of bed and rushed off to do something awesome. But now he settled for continuing to lie on the bed for a little while, marvelling at the way the sun's rays vanquished every shadow and brightened the whole room considerably.
He seemed to have a lot more time on his hands to contemplate and appreciate things in life he used to overlook while he was still a nation and when he was still with Eli-
He shut down that train of thought forcibly.
"This is nice to wake up to, eh Gilbird?" he mused absent-mindedly. "She always loved the sun. And we used to play and train together when it was this bright out; and rest under that huge tree when we exhausted ourselves."
Here I go again,
I promised myself,
I wouldn't think of you today,
The rest of his morning routine continued unchanged. He still slid out of bed, brushed his teeth and sat down to breakfast. After his brother had left, the house seemed so empty. He ate alone at the table, facing an empty chair. He'd placed a giant stuffed bear there once, when….she left. Then he took it away because it was pathetic behavior, even for him. Who was he fooling?
But he was starting to regret that decision.
"You know what, Gilbird? Let's take a walk, see the sights. Shake things up a bit; this gig's getting boring. What d'you say?"
Gilbird gave a cheep in response.
"Righto. Today's a good day for not remembering…stuff."
It's been seven months and counting,
You've moved on,
I still feel exactly the same,
Getting out of the house for some fresh air seemed like a good idea at the time. But Gilbert found he had wandered subconsciously into places they used to go. The pub where they binge-drank everyone else under the table; the club where she indulged her other tendencies and was put in the mood enough for him to score with her; the café where they used to sit outside and watch people as they passed; the training grounds they frequented as children, now converted into a park.
It's just that everywhere I go,
All the buildings know your name,
Like photographs and memories of love,
Steel and granite reminders,
The city calls your name and I can't move on,
He sat down heavily at the fountain erected in the middle of the park, suddenly losing the ability to remain standing as all the memories he shared with her came rushing back.
Gilbird fluttered around its master in a panicked circle, resting on Gilbert's shoulder when it was satisfied he was in no immediate danger. Together, they watched life continue and pass them by – tourists taking pictures; children playing in the fountain, splashing water in all directions; retirees sitting on benches feeding the pigeons that surrounded the water feature.
And ever since you've been gone,
The lights go out the same,
The only difference is,
You call another name,
"Roderich!"
He whirled around.
"Eliza?" he whispered, eyes darting around from person to person in search of the brunette.
No, it was only a visitor in the end. Disappointed, he vacated his seat. It was immediately filled, removing any indication he'd ever been there.
"C'mon, Gilbird. Let's just go home."
To your love, to your lover now,
To your love, the lover after me,
Walking the same streets alone seemed so much more miserable now that he was acutely aware of an empty space next to him where someone had once been, her arm linked in his as they strolled down the lane.
Am I all alone in the universe?
There's no love on these streets,
I have given mine away to a world,
That didn't want it anyway,
He sat himself down on the couch, the couch they bought together, Once upon a time, he though he and the other two members of the Bad Friends Trio would graduate into bachelorhood together. But they had their own lives now, their own partners.
Even Francis.
This postponed bachelor status felt strange to him now that he knew what it was like to be one half of a whole.
So this is my new freedom,
It's funny – I don't remember being chained,
And nothing seems to make sense anymore,
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late,
"E-li-za," he breathed, his body now spread across the length of the couch.
"Roderich…huh? Couldn't you do better than that?" He gave a choked laugh, the sound echoing off the walls.
And ever since you've been gone,
The lights go out the same,
The only difference is,
You call another name,
To your love, to your lover now,
To your love, the lover after me,
Living alone in a house designed for more people emphasized the lack of human warmth that no heater could ever hope to replicate. Once, he might have welcomed the silence, but now it only allowed him to wallow in his misery undisturbed. He put his arm over his eyes as he tried to overcome these feelings of…loneliness.
And time goes by so slowly,
The nights are cold and lonely,
"Ah fuck it." He got up and stalked out of the house, crumpled outfit and all.
I shouldn't be holding on,
But I'm still holding on,
For you,
"Eliza!"
There was no answer.
"Eliza! Are you in there!"
He was banging on her door now.
"Eliza, I love you! Please come out!"
There was desperation seeping into his voice as he continued to batter her door down.
Please come out and say you love me too, the words left unsaid.
Here I go again,
I promised myself,
I wouldn't think of you today,
But I'm standing at your doorway,
Calling out your name 'cause I can't move on,
He slumped down at her doorstep, running his hand through his hair in frustration and anger, most of it directed at himself.
She wasn't home.
She was probably…there.
There with him because he was too much of a fucking coward to do something, anything, to hang on to her.
And ever since you've been gone,
The lights go out the same,
The only difference is,
You call another name,
To your love, to your lover now,
To your love, the lover after me.
It started to rain.