"Stop! Axel, stop it!" I gasped, stretching my toes out trying to find the floor. Axel's hand was choking my windpipe and I knew if he didn't let go soon, I would be a goner. "Axel, p-please..!" I choked out, tears filling my eyes. "If you don...don't stop...I'm going to...to die..!" My eyes were shut but I felt his grip loosen. I sucked in air quickly, burning my lungs in the process. My feet hit the floor and I collapsed, panting and holding my neck. I coughed heavily before looking up at Axel.
"I...I-"
"Just don't. Okay? Don't." I got up from the floor and ran to our room, hearing him behind me. I slammed the door in his face and slid to the floor, covering my face with my hands. It only took a few seconds before I was gasping for breath, the front of my shirt soaked. This was the third time that Axel had done this in this one week, and for what reason? What purpose was he strangling me for?
"Roxas..." he called through the door. "Go away!" I choked, wiping quickly at my eyes. He had the strength to knock down the door if he had to. I quickly moved away and cowered on the opposite side of the bed, watching the door closely. "No. I'm not going away. Can't we talk about this? Besides...I need to apologize..."
"We could talk about it, but you might end up doing it again!" My tears stopped at the anger burning in my stomach. "Then at least talk to me through the door, that way I'll leave instead of going after yo-"
"You can kick down the door." I stated sharply. All sound paused as I waited for his response. "Just let me explain. Please? And if I get angry...if I touch you like that again...I'll force myself out of your life." I gripped the bed's blanket tightly in my fists, hesitating. If he got mad and grabbed me again, could I get out of it or would that be the end of it all..? I shivered at the thought but knew we had to get this over with. If I did end up dying, at least maybe it'd make Axel less...violent.
I stood up and slowly walked to the door, turning the knob I opened it hesitantly. "Spit it out..." I muttered, keeping my eyes anywhere but at Axel's face. "Roxas...I'm sorry. I really, really am. I just lose control. And I only lose control when you force me to stop where I don't want to stop. I'm a sex freak, okay? I should have told you this but I didn't. I should have told you lots of things, but I didn't. So here we are...three strangles later and confusion and fear that may never go away." His voice lowered almost to a whisper by his last sentence, I had to edge closer to hear the last of it. "Axel...why didn't you just tell me that was what made you angry? I mean, it should have been obvious...but...I'm sorry. I just...I guess I wasn't ready."
Axel stuck his hand out, placing his fingers lightly against my jaw. He lifted my head and I closed my eyes, swallowing heavily. "Damn...Rox...I-I..." he sighed and dropped his hand. I lowered my head and opened my eyes, watching him walk towards the front door. "A-Axel wait! Where are you going?!" I ran after him, grabbing him by the wrist. "P-please don't go. I know I shouldn't even let you be under the same roof as me considering what just happened but I...I can't lose you. You can probably imagine what it'd be like without me by your side...can't you?"
He nodded slightly, his back to me. He didn't pull away but I could tell he was hurt. "Axel...please just stay." I waited for him to move slightly before I continued. "I...I want..." I sighed, deciding to just let go of his wrist and walk to face him. I put my arms around his neck, pulling his face down towards mine. "Just...don't go..." I mumbled, placing my lips over his. His lips felt warm and I sighed, holding him closer.
He hesitated before wrapping his arms around me, deepening the kiss slightly. I felt the tip of his tongue run over my lips and I didn't hesitate to open my mouth, allowing him to enter. "Nn..." I felt his cold hands travel under my shirt, pulling it upwards. The cold air and his hands didn't stop me from shivering. He broke the kiss only to pull off my shirt and fling it somewhere across the room. He lifted me up lightly, trying not to appear forceful. "Roxas..."
"Don't ask me. Because if you do and if I say no you'll come after me. I'm ready this time, okay? And no, I'm not saying it just to escape from another episode. I am ready." I kissed him lightly and felt his mouth curve into a smile before placing me on my back on the couch. I pulled him closer, not liking the cold air hitting my skin. I wasn't shivering but it was still cold. "Axel..." I gripped the back of his shirt and pulled upwards, yanking it off him and letting it fall to the floor before I put my arms around him again. I felt him shiver and I couldn't help but chuckle lightly, which caused him to pull his lips away. "What's so funny?"
"Now we're both even." When he looked at me confused I rolled my eyes, "I was cold and you weren't. So now we're even." I moved my lips to his ear, my lips rubbing against his earlobe softly as I whispered "you can go ahead..." I blushed and let my head fall against the cushion. Axel growled softly before resting his lips multiple times on my neck. I shivered from the new touch and tilted my head, allowing him to continue the gesture.
It lasted far longer than I expected, with both pain and pleasure combined. It had to be the most wonderful feeling ever and I wondered why I hadn't done this sooner. I rolled onto Axel, snuggling my face into his chest. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" He asked, puzzled. "For not doing this earlier." He chuckled quietly and kissed my forehead, "you're apologizing for this being your first time having sex? Damn." I blushed and looked at the edge of the couch, "I just...felt like I owed you an apology. I did make you wait this long..."
"Yes, you did. And you're going to have to make it up to me," I swallowed, not hating or liking the idea. "It won't be painful will it?"
"No...I hope not." Axel's voice drifted off and he looked away. I knew I had hurt him so I got up, laying ontop of him and kissed his chin. "I'll go another round if you'd like. If it'll make you feel better." Axel returned his gaze to me, smiling slightly. I kissed him lightly, blushing when his hands held my face. "Roxas?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you." His voice was serious and I had to pull away before I could take him seriously. I never heard him say this before. To anyone. I smiled and kissed him harder, "I love you too, Axel."