1
BJ Hunnicutt was the new kid on the block, of course, that was right before Colonel Potter, but never the less, he was still new to the place. It hadn't taken long for him to get an idea of who every one was. The first two people he had met were of course Hawkeye and Radar. His first impression of Hawkeye was when he was upset over missing Trapper. He was angry and upset, but he quickly introduced himself and revealed his true sense of humor. Radar seemed jumpy, but nice enough.
The real kicker was when he got back to camp and met Major Frank Burns. He never really actually remembered the first time that he met him, but he will never forget the morning after.
BJ lay in his new bed. He was still in his class A uniform, but, it was messed up. His shirt was unbuttoned in a few random places, his shirt partly hanging out. His hat was the only thing that covered his face and shielded it from the sunlight. Before he knew it, he could feel two hands shaking his shoulders. "What is it?" he moaned still half way sleeping.
"Sir, Major Burns wants you in his office."
BJ turned his head and squinted as he slowly lifted his hat up. The creature he saw standing over him was a man with black hair that covered his body. He could tell that it covered most of his body because he happened to be wearing a small dress with a v-neck that only went down to his knees. "Don't you think you need a shave or something?" he asked as he propped himself up on both of his elbows.
"No time for that now. The Major is already mad at me. I don't need to give him another reason to put me on KP."
"Right." BJ just moaned as he grabbed his throbbing head and finally stood up. He slowly followed the man in the dress.
"Klinger's the name and psycho's my game," he said extending his hand as they walked in direction of the office.
"BJ," he said grabbing his hand and shaking it.
"Sorry you had to arrive after Colonel Blake left. He was the best. Now all we've got is Major Burnout and his merry mistress running the show."
BJ just looked over at him and pondered on that. He had no idea who these people were and already he was annoyed. "You also would have liked Trapper. The head prankster, the king of originality."
BJ stopped and smiled at Klinger. "The head of originality? I have some news for you, you're looking at the king right now in front of you," he said.
Klinger stopped before the door and smirked. "Yeah? Well if you can get these two split up and against each other by the end of the week, you've got it," he said and then led him into the office. BJ looked over and saw Radar sitting at a desk trying to type something. He remembered the little guy and smiled. It was when Klinger had opened the door that his smile faded. Margaret was sitting up on top of the desk with her hand held out to Frank who was sitting in the chair and painting her nails. He could hear the random giggles and whispers that came from them. "Excuse me?" BJ asked.
They both panicked as Frank quickly stood up and held the bottle behind his back. Margaret jumped off the desk and wheeled around to face BJ.
"You should have been here ten minutes ago," Margaret coldly stated.
"Why? Did I miss his presentation on how to file the nails before you paint them?" BJ asked.
"Stop that!" Frank snapped. Although, it was very hard to take seriously. "I am your commanding officer and I will not tolerate any back talk! Whether it is to me or Major Houlihan!" The blonde on his right seemed to light up at that. She smiled and turned to him. "Oh Frank! You were made for this job," she announced.
"Well, you know what they say, some people got it and some people don't," he explained.
BJ just stood back and rolled his eyes. This couple was obviously wacko. It was going to be harder than he thought to break them up. This here is how it all begins. Either BJ's best prank ever, or his worst, depending on who you are.