Complete Dogma
by Icy and J
A/N: Following the tradition of our previous fics, this one also has a plot with absolutely NO relation to the title. Yeah... And to those who read chapter 4 of our last fic (Cinder-Anna), please note that I renounce and completely take back all statements I made. Yah.-J
Much better... Now that the air if cleared.-Icy
And to 'Brandy'... (whoever it was who reviewed our fics) Don't worry, we'll send you a wedding invitation.-J
Delete that sentence now. NOW.-Icy
Make me.-J
Btw, this pile of crap is for 'Kitsune' who encountered a nasty bout of 'life's hiccups'. (nothing to do with alcohol addiction of any sort!)-J
Chapter one:
"Yoh-dono..." Amidamaru sighed, watching the young shaman pace like a rabies infected hamster up and down the corridoor. "Perhaps you should take a break..."
Ren rolled his eyes. "Obviously that would be impossible. You know how it is *every* year..."
Horohoro glanced up from the Playboy magazine he was reading o.O and blurrily added, "Every day too... Come on, Yoh... It's about time."
Yoh stared at his two comrades. As much as he would like to disagree with them and storm out ranting and raving like a mad man, he had to agree... It was time.
"I know that." Yoh stated, slumping down to the floor and burying his face in his hands. "But I just don't know how to go about doing it!!!"
Amidamaru cleared his throat. "Ahem... I may have some advice..."
The shamans stared at him.
"What?! I may be a dead samurai but I sure as hell know a thing or two about proposing to a female!" the ghost huffed, folding his arms across his chest. Yoh sighed. At this point, he would even accept advice from Ponchi and Conchi.
"Firstly, your dressing." Ren pointed out. Yoh glanced down at his own usual open-shirted-faded-jeans outfit. Then at Ren. Then at his open-shirted-faded-jeans outfit. Then at Ren. Then at-
(Stop it. Now.-Icy)
(...... Fine.-J)
"Well, boys... It's time to go shopping."
*one hour later*
Yoh stepped out of the dressing room in a strange looking get-up. It would be strange if you could picture him decked out in a bright pink tracksuit adorned with a feathery boa sllithering happily around his neck.
"Perfect..." Horo horo commented. "I am totally 'go' for this Britney look... It's so... Pink."
Yoh made a face. Partially due to the fact that all the pink was reflecting like into his eyes. Even his hair looked pinker. Without a word, he ducked back into the dressing room, followed by a rather muffled series of bumps and crashes.
"I thought the dress looked good..." Amidamaru said, glancing about a rack of shirts. Finally, his eyes met with something useful...
"Yoh-dono!" he grinned, tossing his prize over the door of the changing room. "Try this one on! It is truely 'manly'."
Yoh emerged several moments later, impeccably resembling a regular teenager. With regular cargo pants, regular shirt over another regualar shirt with regular sneakers and regular everything. He looked... Regular...
(My stlye man!-J)
(We'll see about that...-Icy)
... Like a gay construction worker.
"Oh Yoh-dono..." Amidamaru sang, stalking up to his 'master' while desperately trying to hide some article of clothing behind his translucent back and obivously failing miserably.
Yoh took one look at the piece of clothing and then promptly turned green, then red, then blue then white, making him closely resemble a pshycotic chameleon on drugs.
"I am not NOT wearing *that*..." he warned, backing up against the wall as his three companions-turned-torturers advanced upon him like a plague...
Anyways, since we (the authors) are not very paticular about clothing ourselves, we won't dwell on the dressing... Moving on now...
Yoh sat rather nervously on the overstuffed chair, at once wanting to leap out and scram. However, this was not an option due to several other characters surrounding him like a horde of vultures, pointing to several interesting pictures...
"Try this one..." Horo horo suggested, pointing to a rather zesty picture with an outrageous hairdo. "I think perms are the way to go man..."
"Buzz Cut." Ren deadpanned, beginning to measure the length he would have to hack off from Yoh's messy hair.
"Dye it yellow." Amidamaru said. "Chicks dig blondes."
"No, perms!"
"Buzz cut."
"Yellow!"
"Perms!"
"Buzz cut."
"Yellow!"
"Why don't we just do all of it? A yellow permed buzz cut?" Lyserg asked, suddenly popping into the story for no apparent reason. Everyone stared at him. The barber choked on his cigarette. Well, after deciding on a nice cut for Yoh, the trio went out to find some other stuff to embarrass Yoh with while the latter stayed in the barber shop, awaiting what felt like a death sentence.
"Hey kiddo," the fat, smelly, ugly and not to mention gay barber said softly to Yoh, brandishing a shiny bottle infront of his eyes. "I know ya don't want to cut your hair... So I'll just rub a bit of this stuff here and I assure you, my friend, your hair would grow back to its original state. I'm sure of that or else my name is not Fat Bastard."
Yoh glanced up at the shop's dingy looking sign outside that read:
"Fat Bastard's shaving, cutting, and waxing of armpit hair."
(That was NOT nessecary...-Icy)
(It takes up space. It is nessecary.-J)
Well, soon Yoh exited the barber shop with a brand new look, remarkably looking... Okay. Other then a few cuts from Fat Bastard's shakey... fat hand. Horo horo flashed him a big... grin.
"Yoh... Now on to lesson three. Pick-up lines."
~TBC~
Liked it? Hated the guts out of it? Got any crude remarks or suggestions? Please review. We won't post chapter two till we've got a good ole 7 reviews for this one... We're running a tight schedule with the exams and everything...
by Icy and J
A/N: Following the tradition of our previous fics, this one also has a plot with absolutely NO relation to the title. Yeah... And to those who read chapter 4 of our last fic (Cinder-Anna), please note that I renounce and completely take back all statements I made. Yah.-J
Much better... Now that the air if cleared.-Icy
And to 'Brandy'... (whoever it was who reviewed our fics) Don't worry, we'll send you a wedding invitation.-J
Delete that sentence now. NOW.-Icy
Make me.-J
Btw, this pile of crap is for 'Kitsune' who encountered a nasty bout of 'life's hiccups'. (nothing to do with alcohol addiction of any sort!)-J
Chapter one:
"Yoh-dono..." Amidamaru sighed, watching the young shaman pace like a rabies infected hamster up and down the corridoor. "Perhaps you should take a break..."
Ren rolled his eyes. "Obviously that would be impossible. You know how it is *every* year..."
Horohoro glanced up from the Playboy magazine he was reading o.O and blurrily added, "Every day too... Come on, Yoh... It's about time."
Yoh stared at his two comrades. As much as he would like to disagree with them and storm out ranting and raving like a mad man, he had to agree... It was time.
"I know that." Yoh stated, slumping down to the floor and burying his face in his hands. "But I just don't know how to go about doing it!!!"
Amidamaru cleared his throat. "Ahem... I may have some advice..."
The shamans stared at him.
"What?! I may be a dead samurai but I sure as hell know a thing or two about proposing to a female!" the ghost huffed, folding his arms across his chest. Yoh sighed. At this point, he would even accept advice from Ponchi and Conchi.
"Firstly, your dressing." Ren pointed out. Yoh glanced down at his own usual open-shirted-faded-jeans outfit. Then at Ren. Then at his open-shirted-faded-jeans outfit. Then at Ren. Then at-
(Stop it. Now.-Icy)
(...... Fine.-J)
"Well, boys... It's time to go shopping."
*one hour later*
Yoh stepped out of the dressing room in a strange looking get-up. It would be strange if you could picture him decked out in a bright pink tracksuit adorned with a feathery boa sllithering happily around his neck.
"Perfect..." Horo horo commented. "I am totally 'go' for this Britney look... It's so... Pink."
Yoh made a face. Partially due to the fact that all the pink was reflecting like into his eyes. Even his hair looked pinker. Without a word, he ducked back into the dressing room, followed by a rather muffled series of bumps and crashes.
"I thought the dress looked good..." Amidamaru said, glancing about a rack of shirts. Finally, his eyes met with something useful...
"Yoh-dono!" he grinned, tossing his prize over the door of the changing room. "Try this one on! It is truely 'manly'."
Yoh emerged several moments later, impeccably resembling a regular teenager. With regular cargo pants, regular shirt over another regualar shirt with regular sneakers and regular everything. He looked... Regular...
(My stlye man!-J)
(We'll see about that...-Icy)
... Like a gay construction worker.
"Oh Yoh-dono..." Amidamaru sang, stalking up to his 'master' while desperately trying to hide some article of clothing behind his translucent back and obivously failing miserably.
Yoh took one look at the piece of clothing and then promptly turned green, then red, then blue then white, making him closely resemble a pshycotic chameleon on drugs.
"I am not NOT wearing *that*..." he warned, backing up against the wall as his three companions-turned-torturers advanced upon him like a plague...
Anyways, since we (the authors) are not very paticular about clothing ourselves, we won't dwell on the dressing... Moving on now...
Yoh sat rather nervously on the overstuffed chair, at once wanting to leap out and scram. However, this was not an option due to several other characters surrounding him like a horde of vultures, pointing to several interesting pictures...
"Try this one..." Horo horo suggested, pointing to a rather zesty picture with an outrageous hairdo. "I think perms are the way to go man..."
"Buzz Cut." Ren deadpanned, beginning to measure the length he would have to hack off from Yoh's messy hair.
"Dye it yellow." Amidamaru said. "Chicks dig blondes."
"No, perms!"
"Buzz cut."
"Yellow!"
"Perms!"
"Buzz cut."
"Yellow!"
"Why don't we just do all of it? A yellow permed buzz cut?" Lyserg asked, suddenly popping into the story for no apparent reason. Everyone stared at him. The barber choked on his cigarette. Well, after deciding on a nice cut for Yoh, the trio went out to find some other stuff to embarrass Yoh with while the latter stayed in the barber shop, awaiting what felt like a death sentence.
"Hey kiddo," the fat, smelly, ugly and not to mention gay barber said softly to Yoh, brandishing a shiny bottle infront of his eyes. "I know ya don't want to cut your hair... So I'll just rub a bit of this stuff here and I assure you, my friend, your hair would grow back to its original state. I'm sure of that or else my name is not Fat Bastard."
Yoh glanced up at the shop's dingy looking sign outside that read:
"Fat Bastard's shaving, cutting, and waxing of armpit hair."
(That was NOT nessecary...-Icy)
(It takes up space. It is nessecary.-J)
Well, soon Yoh exited the barber shop with a brand new look, remarkably looking... Okay. Other then a few cuts from Fat Bastard's shakey... fat hand. Horo horo flashed him a big... grin.
"Yoh... Now on to lesson three. Pick-up lines."
~TBC~
Liked it? Hated the guts out of it? Got any crude remarks or suggestions? Please review. We won't post chapter two till we've got a good ole 7 reviews for this one... We're running a tight schedule with the exams and everything...