This story may seem pretty messed up but it's supposed to be. Gift for my super best friend hairluffer! I love you~

South Park and all the characters belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker~

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Stanley Marsh looked down at the invitation that was just handed to him then looked back up at Wendy Testaburger, who smiled.

"I'm having a party this weekend so tell your friends that they're invited too."

"Alright."

"Thanks! Bye Stan!"

He waved, "Bye Wendy."

Stan watched Wendy walk over to Bebe then looked at the invitation again.

"I'm sure Kenny'll bring booze."

"Mp rhmr?" (To what?)

Stan jumped a little then turned around to be faced with Kenny McCormick.

"Wendy's party this weekend; she invited me, you, Cartman, and Kyle. Butters I guess too."

Kenny grinned under his hood, "Mrhph rpmh's mhp rhmp mhr phmp. Rphmr Mhrp." (Maybe that's not such a bad idea. Thanks Stan.)

"What isn't a bad idea?"

Stan looked over at his super best friend, Kyle Broflovski, "Wendy's having a party and Kenny's bringing booze. Oh by the way, you're invited too."

"Mr mprhrm prhm pmhr mhr mprrmh, mmphr mph hpm rph phrm mph rpmh." (We should play spin the bottle, that way you guys can kissed.)

Kyle's eyes widened as he blushed, "Shut up Kenny! Stan and I aren't gay! Right Stan?"

Stan didn't answer him since he was too busy staring at something more important, his fat yet stunning friend Eric Cartman; the boy that Stan harbored a crush on. Though, when Stan looked more closely, he saw that Leopold "Butters" Stotch was also with the boy, which caused a sting of jealousy to go through him. He then was snapped back into reality when Kyle started to shake him.

"Stan! Are you gay or not?!"

Stan blinked, "Of course not dude. Why would I be?"

Kenny shrugged, "Mp mrhpr me ph rh mhpmrh~. Phrm rhpm mrp." (He could be in denial~. Just like you.)

He walked off as Kyle frowned, "Shut up Kenny! We're NOT in denial! Ugh, screw him. Come on Stan, I have to get home. Stan? Stan! Forget it I'll do it myself."

Kyle grabbed his hand and started walking, which Stan noticed when he saw Cartman becoming smaller and smaller by the second.

"Kyle? What are you doing?"

"Walking home."

Stan blinked then looked down, "And this requires you to hold my hand why?"

He blushed and quickly let go of the other's hand, "Well you were looking at God knows what and weren't listening to me so I had to drag you."

"Aren't we just going to use the bus or at least wait for Cartman and Kenny?"

"I don't feel like it and Kenny pissed me off. Cartman's with Butters right now so we shouldn't disturb the happy couple."

Stan frowned at the thought; if Cartman was with Butters then he could be with…well him. Stan was silent the rest of the way while Kyle ranted about the latest trouble that Cartman caused him.

'After the trillionth time, you'd think that Kyle would've learned by now that Cartman will never stop making fun of his religion. Of course not, it's Kyle…'

Kyle smiled when the two got to his house, "Thanks for listening Stan. I'll see you tomorrow."

Stan nodded, "Anytime dude. See ya."

Kyle walked towards his house while Stan walked away, feeling a little guilty about lying to Kyle.

"I mean…I was listening when he said Cartman's name so…I was only half lying…"

Stan sighed; it wasn't his fault that he realized he liked Cartman when his friend in his pants rose after accidentally walking in on the other. Of course he'd seen Cartman naked before just…not him with having soap on his body then rinsing it off in a supposed "sexy" way. After that, Stan couldn't help but check out Cartman's fatass every chance he got. He really had to hold back the urge just to grab it. Stan smiled, thinking of Cartman always made him happy, in more ways than one and with his luck, he walked right into Cartman, boner and all. Luckily, Cartman was knocked on the ground and cussed as he rubbed his head. Which gave Stan enough time to bite his lip so he prevent him from moaning and to hid his friend in his pants by putting his hat over it. He then held out his hand.

"Need some help?"

"No. Not from yew at least."

Cartman pulled himself up then brushed himself off and glared at Stan.

"Maybe yew should watch where y- is that your hat?"

Stan held back his blush and smirked, "Nice to know you look at my crouch Cartman."

He frowned, "Ay! I wasn't! I just happened to notice when I was on the ground!"

"Whatever you say Cartman; anyway, where's Butters?"

"That faggot? Hell if I know, I'm not his stalker."

"Well you were with him earlier in the hallway so…"

Cartman blinked, "Are yew stalking me Stan?"

Stan's eyes widened, "No way, in your dreams fatass."

"Oh right, I forgot your committed to Kahl."

"Oh my god, why does everyone think I got with Kyle when Wendy and I broke up! Kyle may be my best friend but I certainly do not like him like that and Kyle thinks the same."

Cartman grinned, "For someone who is just a friend, yew two seem to be close but whatever."

Stan glared at him, "God damnit! Shut the fuck up fatass! You hang out with Butters and no one thinks you guys are together when they should! You're like the controlling boyfriend while Butters is the girl!"

"AY! I'm not gay like yew gahys!"

"Whatever Cartman, just be in denial. Anyway, Wendy invited you and Butters to her party this weekend so just tell him when you get the chance. Though…I'm not sure why she invited you. Pity I guess."

Cartman frowned, "Yew know whut, screw yew Stan, I'm going home."

Stan watched Cartman walk away and smiled, 'What a great view…'

When Cartman was out of sight, Stan looked down at his pants and sighed, "Guess I know what I'm doing when I get home."

Once Stan got home, he ran upstairs and slammed the door to the bathroom, making sure to lock it in case someone came home.

The next few days just seemed to fly by, at least in Stan's mind they did. One minute it was Monday, then the next it was afterschool Friday, the day of the party. Stan stood at his locker and put the books he needed in his backpack then closed his locker to be startled by Kenny.

"Dude! What the hell are you hiding for?!"

Kenny grinned as he stood there with his hood down, showing off his fabulous blonde hair.

"I know who you like."

Stan blinked, "What are you talking about? I don't like anybody."

"Not even…Cartman?"

That definitely struck a nerve because Stan was silent and his cheeks turned a light red.

Kenny smiled, "I'm not stupid Stan, and I can tell when someone likes someone else. For example, Kyle totally has the hots for you and you're too concerned about if Cartman likes you or not to notice. Then you have some competition with Butters since he likes Cartman too. Maybe it's his charming personality or his fabulous looks that you guys fall for. Whatever floats you guys' boat I guess."

Stan sighed, "Just…don't tell anyone okay?"

Kenny put his arm around him, grinning, "You can count on me Stan."

"Thanks…now I have to go so I'll see you at the party tonight. Oh, by the way Kenny your hair looks amazing."

Kenny pulled his arm away and nodded, "Yours does too when you don't wear your hat."

"What looks good?"

Kenny turned to Kyle, "Stan's hair. See ya."

He walked off as Kyle blinked, "Alright then…come on Stan. Let's walk again."

Stan sighed when Kyle started ranting as the two walked, 'Here we go again…'

Butters smiled as he stood behind Cartman as his locker, waiting for him to grab his stuff.

"So uh…are you excited about the party Eric?"

"No because the ho is the one having it."

"Oh come on Eric, it'll be fun."

Cartman closed his locker and looked at Butters, "Everyone I hate is going to be there oh what fun."

Butters frowned as the two walked down the hallway, "Aww geez…cheer up Eric."

"Oh of course; I'm so excited to Kahl and Wendy."

Butters smiled, "That's the spirit!"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Oh…well you'll have fun and I know it!"

Cartman sighed as he shook his head, 'Butters just doesn't understand…'

Cartman really disliked the two for so many reasons. Being annoying, gay, and stupid were just some of the words that popped into his head when the two were brought up. The main reason though was Stan. Cartman wasn't sure why but every time he saw Stan with either of them, the boy became angry and jealous. There was a difference between the three of them though. Wendy's a stupid bitch ho, Kyle's a stupid gay Jew, and he was the smartest, coolest and most attractive in his eyes. Now, Eric Cartman is not a fag so maybe he just didn't like seeing Stan with either one because he thought of Stan on a higher level. Before Cartman even had a chance to sort out all this information, his thought were interrupted by Butters.

"I heard that there's going to be spin the bottle…according to Kenny who talked Wendy into it."

"That's gay. I don't want to kiss any of those people god damnit!"

Butters frowned,"Oh come on Eric. It'll be fun."

"No it won't. The party hasn't even started and it's already pissing me off."

Butters sighed as the two sat down on the bus, "At least give it a chance."

He rolled his eyes, "Fine whatevah."

Butters smiled, "Oh boy! You won't regret this!"

For the rest of the bus ride, the two sat in silence except for Cartman cussing at himself under his breath for even having the thought of if Stan was a good kisser or not.

Stan was actually surprised at the fact that Kyle finished his Cartman rant early and was talking about something else.

"So Stan…what do you think about Wendy having a party?"

Stan shrugged, "It's cool I guess. What about you?"

"Yeah I feel the same. Kenny said he talked Wendy into playing spin the bottle. I bet he just wants to get in her pants."

"She's my ex-girlfriend. He can do what he wants."

Kyle smiled, "As long as it won't make you go Goth again."

"I won't dude."

"Alright good, I'll see you tonight Stan!" said Kyle when they finally got to his house.

Stan waved, "Yeah, bye."

He then walked off and blushed at the thought of kissing Cartman from what Kyle said about spin the bottle. Stan just really hoped he would get the chance.

Around eight o'clock, Stan stood outside Wendy's door with his hands in his pockets and sighed.

"You can do this Stan…prove that you're not a pussy."

He took a deep breath and pulled his hands out then knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Wendy opened the door with a smile and Kenny by her side.

"Glad you could make it Stan~. Drinks are in the other room with everyone else. Don't mind the thrusting or the grinding."

Kenny leaned over and whispered in her ear which made her giggle, "Kenny and I have to go but make yourself at home."

Stan blinked as the two walked upstairs, "At least they both have experience…"

He then walked into the other room and his eyes widened. Jimmy was grinding against Timmy, Craig was being thrusted against by Clyde and Tweek, and Kyle was coming towards him with a bottle of alcohol in his hand.

"D-Dude…watch this."

Kyle walked over to the table and stood up on it shouting, "MY VOICE IS ANNOYING BECAUSE I HAVE A RUBBER DUCKY VIBRATING UP MY ASSHOLE AND I FUCKING LOVE STAN MARSH! YA HEAR THAT STAN?! LET'S GET MAR-BLAAA!"

Stan watched as Kyle puked then walked back over to him, smashing his lips against the other's. Instantly, Stan pushed him away in disgust.

"Dude what the fuck?! I don't love you! Let alone like you like that! I like Cartman, not you!"

"Yew like me?"

Stan froze in horror, 'This so isn't happening because this is a dream…I'll just wake up now…any second.'

"Stan answer me."

Stan turned around and his heart nearly stopped when he saw it was Cartman and Butters.

"Well…I…uh."

Stan quickly ran out the door which caused Cartman to frown, "Butters…yew stay here."

Butters frowned, "Are you sure Eric?"

"Yes, I'll be back."

Butters nodded and sighed as he watched Cartman go after Stan. Butters then looked back at the room and frowned,"So much for the game where I could've maybe kissed Eric…"

Kyle saw Butters and walked over completely wasted, "Heeeey~! Looking good man, let's dance kay?"

"But I don't-"

Before he could finish his sentence, he was already being pulled in the room with no escape and at first felt uncomfortable since Kyle was grinding against him but sighed when he gave in. If Butters was correct, then Cartman and Stan would be an item the next time he saw them which would leave him and Kyle alone with no one but each other. So that's why he accepted the kiss that Kyle placed on his lips and didn't pull away.

Stan stared at the ice at Stark's Pond and sighed, "Great job Stan. Now he probably thinks I'm an idiot who is a pussy and a fag…I really could have left that last part out but nooo. I just HAD to say it."

Cartman sighed as he tried to catch his breath, he had looked everywhere except gayass Stark's Pond. Why would Stan be some place that was just so...retarded? Though, he still had to give it a shot looking there. It was Stan we're talking about so it would make sense if he was somewhere gay. Cartman made his way there and just his luck, Stan was sitting there looking down. He cleared his throat and walked over then sat down, "Hey Stan."

Stan was silent and continued looking down; Cartman was the last person that he wanted to see him in this condition.

"God damnit Stan, answer me."

Stan sighed, it was bad enough that Cartman hated him but he didn't need to hear it.

"Asshole! God fucking damnit answer me!"

He knew the more he stayed quiet, the more Cartman would get pissed off so he finally gave in.

"…What do you want fatass?"

Cartman frowned, "Ay! Yew were the one who wasn't talking!"

Stan sighed again, "Why are you here?"

"…I don't even know."

"Then just go away."

"No."

Stan lifted up his head and glared at the other, "Cartman…I'm honestly not in the mood for your bullshit right now. Why don't you go harass Kyle or confess to Butters."

"Yew are such a hypocrite. Yew get mad when people accuse yew and Kahl of being a couple yet yew pull the same shit about me and Butters with accusing us of being together. I don't like that fag like that…I-I think I like someone else."

Stan's glare changed to a look of hurt and he stared down at the ice again, "O-Oh…who is it?"

"Like I would tell yew."

Stan knowing that it wasn't him sighed and stood up, "I-I'm going back to the party since I'll probably have to drive people home…"

He started walking but stopped when he felt a hand on his arm and turned his head to see Cartman with a nervous look on his face.

"What are yo-"

"Did yew mean whut yew said before?"

Stan blushed a shade of red and swallowed nervously, "Y-Yeah…"

"Good."

"Why do yo-"

Stan's eyes widened when he felt Cartman's lips against his and gladly accepted it considering he kissed back. The kiss went on until the two needed to breath. Silence filled the air until Stan tapped Cartman's ass which caused the other to let out an "AY!"

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that."

"You're lucky I like yew back or else I'd have to kick yew in the nuts."

Stan smiled, "Guess you're a fag yourself."

"There's an exception for me…and for yew…"

"So…when are you going to ask?"

"Ask whut?"

"When are you going to ask me to be your butt buddy?"

"Urgh…that sounds so gaaay."

"News flash Cartman, we're both bisexual which means we're part gay and boys have intercourse by a guy sticking his dick up another guy's asshole, hence the name butt buddies."

Cartman's cheeks became flushed as he stared at Stan, "Ay! I know whut buttsex is! I just think that the word buttbuddies is gay!"

Stan sighed, "You really are difficult Cartman."

Cartman frowned, "AY! I am not! I just…"

"You, the almighty Cartman who isn't afraid of anything is nervous."

"I am not! I just…"

Stan managed to pull his arm out of Cartman's grasp and had his back turned to the other.

"You don't want to go out with me because you care about what others think. I get it. Let's just forget everything that hap- ACK! Cartman what are you doing?!"

Stan blushed as he felt Cartman's arms wrap around his waist, "Trying to stop yew."

"But…why?"

"Because I don't want yew to go."

"Cartman…" he sighed, "I like you enough to wait until you're ready but…I can't wait forever."

"I like your ballerina boxers."

Stan smiled, "Why tha-wait what?! How did you!?"

"Look down Stan."

He quickly looked down to see that Cartman had unbuttoned his coat and his pants, considering his pants were pulled down to the ground. The blush then reappeared on his cheeks.

"Cartman…"

"Wanna be mah butt buddy Stan?"

Stan grinned as he turned around and started unbuttoning Cartman's coat.

"Of course, who could ask for a better buttbuddy than you?"

After a few minutes of clothes being taken off, the two were having sexy and intense butt sex. As they were doing it, the two were thinking the same thing.

'Damn…he's good.'

The two couldn't be happier. A few days later, the two stood outside and took a deep breath.

"Are you sure you're ready? I mean…we don't have to if you don't want to."

Cartman smiled, "I am."

Stan smiled as he grabbed the other's hand, "My fatass."

Cartman gave his hand an affectionate squeeze, "My pussy."

The pair then walked towards the door and pushed it open. When they walked down the hall, they two could hear gasps but completely ignored them. When they got to Cartman's locker, Stan looked around and smiled at the couples.

"I guess Wendy's party was a success."

"Yup."

Stan blinked, "Butters said you didn't want to come in the first place so why would you agree?"

"It got me yew."

Stan smiled, "Well…it got me you too. Oh by the way, you're the girlfriend and I'm the sexy boyfriend. I decided for you."

"AY! That's not fair! Respect ma-"

Stan shut up him with a sweet kiss on the lips and smiled, "You were saying?"

Cartman opened his mouth but nothing came out so he just flipped him off.

"Not here Cartman, we're in public. Maybe later, now come on, we still have to go to my locker."

Cartman glared at him then grabbed his stuff and slammed his locker, "Fine. If it'll make yew shut up."

The pair walked over to Stan's locker in silence which made Stan feel uncomfortable.

"Cartman?"

"What do yew want?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I'll just call you my fatass butt buddy and I'll be your pussy butt buddy."

Cartman blinked, "Wouldn't that make ye-"

"No. We're butt buddies."

Cartman rolled his eyes when Stan closed his locker, "Whatevah yew say."

Cartman started walking but stopped when he noticed Stan wasn't with him and turned around to see Stan looking down nervously. He sighed and walked back to the other.

"Whut's wrong?"

Stan bit his lip and sighed, "I…I know we haven't been going out for that long but…considering we had a thing for each other for awhile…I…"

Cartman sighed and lifted up Stan's chin, "Yew whut?"

"I-I love you."

Cartman grinned, "Don't worry. I love yew too."

Cartman grabbed his hand and gave it a loving squeeze as the two walked down the hall to class. They both felt the best they ever had because afterschool, they were buying a swing set because they thought it would be funny to buy one with Kyle's American Express Card.