A/N: Alright so… this is pre-Caskett relationship at Ryan's Wedding. All mistakes are mine as usual. The italicized words are direct lyrics from the song "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This." It's supposed to be like the words Castle is hearing in the background if that makes sense.
Disclaimer: I don't own Castle or the song, "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This"
The tempo slowed, morphing into what had to be a love ballad. A few couples left the dance floor, and Castle turned to follow the crowd. No more dancing for him right now. What he needed was a drink. Preferably something strong to get his mind off the fact that Kate Beckett, the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, was just grinding on him. In front of an audience on top of that. Yeah, a drink sounded like heaven right now. As he stepped away from her, he was stopped by a small, timid hand at his elbow.
"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, her eyes alight with laughter. She let her hand drift across his forearm before tangling her fingers with his. She tugged gently, her bottom lip slipping between her teeth.
He went willingly. There was nothing more he wanted to do than hold Kate Beckett in his arms. Especially when she had that teasing smile playing on her lips. He wanted to wipe that look off her face, make her moan under his mouth. But he was being careful tonight. They both had been drinking; she a little more than him. And he didn't want to cross any lines tonight, not when they've been doing so well. His free hand found its way to her waist, pulling her body closer, but still leaving space between them.
"I love this song," she commented, humming along with the opening notes of the song. Toby Keith, he recognized. Oh… that's right. He knew this one… "You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This." He snorted quietly. The irony was overpowering. His mind drifted back to the kiss they shared. The only kiss they'd shared.
Got a funny feeling, the moment your lips touched mine. Something shot right through me. My heart skipped a beat in time.
Wasn't that the truth… Preach it, Toby. His heart hadn't settled for hours after that kiss. The worst part was knowing he wouldn't get to experience it again. Sometimes he wished it never would have happened. If Ryan and Esposito hadn't been being held captive, and they never would've had to get past the guard, would he feel this much heartache? Now he knew what Kate Beckett felt like, what she tasted like, and that taste had lingered for months. He knew all of these things about her, but he'd never relive it, never learn anymore. Never learn what turned her on, what made her gasp. He felt Kate move further into his embrace, her forehead brushing his cheek. When had she taken her shoes off? Huh, maybe he wasn't the most observant tonight. His hand drifted, settling gently at her lower back. She shivered, cuddling into his body, her hand finding his jaw.
"You okay?" he murmured to her. Just the feel of her fingers against his skin was giving him heart palpatations. He couldn't do this; not if he wasn't going to push her into something. She was quiet, her eyes falling closed as they danced. She nodded, her mouth skimming his chin.
"Just thinking," she mumbled back, pulling back enough to catch his questioning gaze. She quickly ducked her head, but it was too late. He already saw it—the emotion pouring out of her eyes. It hit him hard, stealing his breath away. Releasing her body, he tilted her head up to meet his eyes. His other hand still held hers tightly against his chest. He vaguely registered the flash going off nearby, too caught up in what her panicked eyes were telling him and the electricity flowing between them.
He nodded, not pushing her to say anything. She let out a breath she was holding before burrowing back into his chest. "Thank you," she whispered against his neck. Her lips briefly met his skin. His eyes closed on a sigh. He wanted her. So bad it actually hurt. But not tonight, no, he couldn't push her tonight.
You shouldn't kiss me like this unless you mean it like that. Cause I'll just close my eyes and I won't know where I'm at.
The lyrics rang in his ears, taunting him. How could a song fit a moment so perfectly? He started paying more attention to the music. The song made sense… All of the songs made sense. He was lost, so far gone, as they circled slowly on the dance floor. He made note of all the people watching him, including the newly-wed Kevin and Jenny. He could hear the whispers, but didn't want to listen. He didn't want to hear how they looked 'in love.' He certainly was, but he knew she wasn't feeling the same way. Maybe she did… but he knew she wasn't going to act on her feelings. And it nearly killed him. He didn't want to hear how perfect they looked together; he already knew they'd be wonderful together. He was living his dream; holding the woman he loved in his arms—at a wedding reception nonetheless. But he didn't want the whispers to ruin it. He wanted to stay in this moment forever—to never let her go.
But he knew he couldn't. Like she read his thoughts, Kate pulled herself away from his body; her arm still slung behind his neck. Catching the nervousness in his expression, her fingers began to gently tangle in the hair on his neck. He swallowed. Stop looking at me like that… I can't survive another hopeful heart. She offered him a soft smile, her eyes softening as he looked away. He was going to do something stupid, he could feel it. Everything was so much easier if he didn't have to look into her eyes—her deep, gorgeous, soul-bearing eyes. Ugh, he groaned internally. He was done for. He wanted to grab her and kiss her senseless.
He could still faintly hear the song playing around him; the mess his thoughts had become had kinda drowned that out. But he caught that last line. If you do baby, kiss me again. He wanted to scream. Let the entire world know his heart was aching because he loved this woman in his arms, but she'd never see him as more than a friend, her partner.
"Castle," her soft voice pulled him out of his panicked thoughts. He looked down at her. There were tears in her eyes. She looked lost, scared, in love. He opened his mouth to say something—anything—but she cut him off. Her voice broke, the whisper barely audible, "Kiss me, again."
A/N: sooo… continue or no? let me hear your thoughts!